Setting: 5th Year Gryffindor and Slytherin students are just coming in. Merle is sitting at Snape's desk for some odd reason…
Krissy: Where's Professor Snape?
Merle: I dunno. He asked me to take over the lessons today. He's probably strutting around the school like a pimp again…
Ron: (cracking up) What?
Merle: You heard me…he's probably running around like a pimp again.
Eva: o_O…(can't help it and starts cracking up as well)
Krissy: Well…he'll be back soon though, right?
Severus: (comes running through the dungeons with a monkey following him) HELP!! THIS INSANE MONKEY'S TRYING TO PUNCH ME IN THE NUTS!!!!!
(most of the students crack up)
Merle: (already laughing) Okay then. (points wand at monkey) Avada Ked-AAAH! (monkey tackles her)
Eira: Um…do you need any help? (watching Merle struggle with the monkey)
Merle: No…errgh…I'm fine. (monkey steals her wand) GAH! MY WAND! Give that back you little…
Monkey: (does a stupid dance and starts shooting spells at people)
Pansy (Parkinson): Ack! My eyes…(eyes start swelling to the size of tennis balls)
Harry: (has a very tiny head now, and talking in a tiny squeaky voice) Okay…now what?
Severus: (sitting in the corner, watching)
Eira: NO! MY CORNER! (lunges at Severus and starts beating him up)
Severus: What-OW!-the-owwwiiieee-bloody hell are you—AUGH—doing?!?!
Eira: MY CORNER!
Severus: I'm-ow-being beaten up—GAH—by a girl—OW—and it—ACK—hurts…
Draco: (jumps up and runs out of the dungeons, Slytherins follow him)
Merle: Hey! This class isn't over yet! (turns back to the monkey) NOW GIVE ME BACK MY WAND!
Severus: (jumps up out of Eira's grab and starts running)
Eira: COME BACK HERE! I'm not finished beating you up! (pulls out her wand and does some energy ball attack spell on Severus)
Severus: (stopped dead in his tracks, burnt to a crisp) …Ow…
Eira: Cool. I forgot I could do that.
Slytherins (ALL of them, all years and stuff): (come marching in with Draco leading) Here's our jingle for Goldfish! We wrote a song for Goldfish, the wholesome snack that smiles back, until you bite their heads off! (the Slytherins throw Goldfish crackers in the air) See the fishes swimming...oh look the pretzel's winning...didn't that make you feel good about Goldfish? Here's our Jingle for Goldfish, crunchy little Goldfish, oh good we're at the part where we show that they're baked and not fried! Did you know they're made with real cheese, even though they look like fishies? The snack that smiles back, Goldfish!!
Others: (stare at the Slytherins)
Draco: And that was our jingle for Goldfish.
Slytherins: (run out again)
Merle: …The class still isn't finished.
Krissy: (pokes her head back in the room) We don't really care…
Merle: Go figure. (finally succeeds in getting her wand back from the monkey) AHA! Now I've got you! Avada Kedavra!
(monkey dies)
Merle: YES! WOOHOO! I ROCK! (does strange victory dance)
Hermione: …zzZZzzZZzz…
Severus: Miss Granger! Wake up!
Hermione: (still sleeping) …Aww mommy why can't I ride the pony…(falls over and wakes up to find the rest of the class laughing) Huh? What happened?
Harry: (pretends to fall asleep on the desk table thing) "Aww mommy why can't I ride the pony?"
Hermione: _;
(the bell rings)
Ron: WHOOOO!!! CLASS IS OUT!!! (jumps on the table and does an absurd dance)
Eira: Err…Ron…
Eva: (comes running back in and tackles Eira) RON'S MINE!
Eira: You wish!
Eva: Mine!
Eira: Mine!
Eva: Mine!
Eira: Mine!
Eva: Mine!
Eira: Mine!
Eva: Mine!
Eira: Mine!
Eva: Mine!
Eira: Mine!
Eva: Mine!
Eira: Mine!
Merle: SHUT. UP.
Eva/Eira: No!
Merle: Ten points from both Gryffindor and Slytherin, then.
Eira/Eva: Aww…
Severus: The bell rung five minutes ago…get…out…(eye twitches)
Merle: O_o…Well, he's right, class was dismissed about five minutes ago…
(students pack up and leave)
Severus: Finally. Now I can get back to what I was doing…
Merle: Err…what WERE you doing?
Severus: Um…
Merle: Oh forget it.
……
A/N: Muhahaha! Want more? Review, people…reviews keep me writing! Or maybe it's just the fact that I'm bored…
Legal Junk a.k.a. Disclaimer: Krissy owns herself. Eira owns herself. Eva owns herself. I. Own. Nothing. But. Merle. Do you hear me? I own nothing but Merle! Merle isn't even a real Harry Potter character! She's an original! DID YOU HEAR THAT? I. Am. Making. No. Money. ::cries::
