If You Only Knew

by: kawaiiteddybear

kawaiiteddybear: hehehe!! thanx for the reviews everyone! maybe I should slow down... I've written four chapters in a day! :S But I'm having a rush of ideas I'm afraid that I'm going to forget them all.. anyways... oh yea, if any part of this fic is confusing please tell me, I'll try to explain it better...now onto the chapter...

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN CCS IN ANY WAY... CLAMP DOES! chee...

Chapter Three: Memories

--Sakura's Point of View--

I was walking down a deserted path, wondering what happened to that strange force. Flashes of that day were still fresh in my mind... I didn't know why I couldn't stand up to that monster in the beginning, "It's all my fault that Touya got killed..." I said out loud to myself. Tears started to fall again, I blame myself for everything. If it wasn't for me, that force would've never came after my family. After mom died, I promised myself I would have to stay strong and protect my dad and brother... I guess I failed.

I stopped at an area with bushes and trees. "Kero!" I called out.

"Sakura!" Kero jumped out of a nearby tree, "Did you bring me any pudding?"

"No..." I answered, "I went to the university remember?"

"Oh yea..." Kero said glumly.

"Oh," I suddenly said, remembering something, "Eriol, Tomoyo and Syaoran all go to that university too."

"Your kidding..." Kero said in disbelief.

"I'm not... And Eriol found out who I really was." I informed him.

"What?" Kero yelled, "You look totally different! Hey... does that Li kid know?"

"Don't worry Kero, he'll never know..." I said sadly. Kero and I walked silently as we headed toward the Li mansion. It was strange... Kero wasn't complaining about staying at the Li Mansion, when he found out that we were staying there, he tried to convince me to get a dorm at the University.

Part of me wanted to agree with him and go get a dorm, but a huge part of me wanted to go to the Li Mansion. Not only was it safe, but Syaoran was there. I know that he would never know who Ying Fa Ling really is, but I didn't care. I missed those amber eyes and that chestnut hair. I let out a sigh. I remembered the time when I tripped while we were racing and he came to my side immediately. I let out a small smile, I got a scratch on my leg and he helped me home. Even though he knew that Touya always overreacted when he saw us together. If only things were the same, I sighed. I keep beating myself up that I never had the courage to tell him that I loved him. But it was too late. I felt a tear slide down my cheek. I can't tell him who I am, never, ever. I can only look at those gorgeous amber eyes, that I remember so vividly, in a far away distance.

--Normal Point of View--

At the Li Mansion Li Syaoran was busy training in the backyard.

--Syaoran's Point of View--

"Why-" I let out, throwing out a kick.

"Did-" throwing another kick. I stopped, and gazed up into the sky. "Why did she have to die?" I yelled up to the sky, hoping that someone would hear my question.

Why did she have to leave? After the day I found out from Tomoyo and Eriol, I couldn't do anything, all I did was train and ask the same question over and over. Why did she have to die? Tears started to slide down my face. Why wasn't I there? I sat down on the ground and sobbed into my hands. Sakura never deserve to die, she never deserved any of this...

I didn't care if she was half way across the world, hell I didn't care if she hated me, I just want her to live her life to the fullest. All I want is those beautiful emerald to look at me, and I could wrap her in my arms and tell her I loved her. "I'm never going to love anyone again! You hear that?" I gazed up into the sky again, shouting, "My heart will always call out for Sakura... and only her..." I let out a sniffle and let all tears pour out.

I went inside to get a drink, suddenly I heard the doorbell. I walked up to the door and opened them, expecting it to be the mailman or Meiling, Instead it wasn't who I would ever expect it to be. It was the new girl at the University. It was Ying Fa Ling.

[a/n: ahhhh... thats it! pretty short but I promise I'll start writing the next chapter VERY SOON! PLEASE GIVE ME SOME IDEAS FOR MY FIC!!!!...and let me know your opinions.]