If You Only Knew

by: kawaiiteddybear

kawaiiteddybear: hehe I have to type quickly... and try to get as many chapters done before school starts!! anyways thanx again for all those reviews!! ^_^

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN CCS IN ANYWAY =P CLAMP DOES!

Chapter Four: Seperated

Syaoran opened the door expecting it to be Meiling or one of his relatives. But as he looked up he saw a beautiful young girl, about his age, with long black hair and dark forest green eyes. He remembered from the university. It was Ying Fa Ling. 'Why the hell was she here?' he thought bitterly. He was in no mood for guests or visitors.

"Hi..." Sakura greeted, "Is Yelan Li here?"

"She's in the library right now... Why don't you sit down on the couch while I go get her..." he grumbled.

"Sure," replied Sakura, with a smile on her face. 'He seems so depressed...' Sakura thought sadly. She felt movement in her backpack, and immediately remember that Kero was inside. "Quiet down, Kero!" she whispered.

Moments later, Syaoran came back with Yelan Li. "Ah," Yelan smiled,"I'm glad you finally made it, Ying Fa." Looking over to her son, "Xiao Lang, this is Ying Fa Ling, she will be staying here for quite awhile." Then she turned to Sakura, "Ying Fa, I forgot to introduce you to my son," she smiled, "This is Xiao Lang."

"Its nice to finally meet you Sya-er... Xiao Lang." Ying Fa said. 'Hope he didn't notice that...' Sakura thought, panicing. Sakura held her hand out hoping that Syaoran would be at least her friend.

Syaoran never did noticed that, he was too busy in his own thoughts. Finally noticing that Ying Fa's hand was held out, Syaoran reached out to shake her hand, as their hands connect, he felt as if something shocked his whole entire body. 'Why am I feeling this way?' asked himself, 'Her touch seems so fimilar, yet... I can't put my finger on it. Get yourself together Syaoran, you promised that you would never love another person again? Your heart only belongs to Sakura.' Thinking of Sakura, made him want to cry, remembering that his mother and Ying Fa was there. He closed his eyes for a second, trying to hold all the tears back.

"Xiao Lang, why don't you escort Ying Fa to her room." Yelan told him, interruping his thoughts.

"Huh? Oh... yes mother." he said.

Ying Fa and Syaoran both walked silently down the hallway. Suddenly, Syaoran stopping in front of a door and opened it. It revealed a quaint, and lovely room. It was decorated with cherry blossoms and the walls were painted a light shade of pink. A window was on the other side of the room giving a perfect view of the mountains and the Li garden.

"Kawaii!!" Sakura squealed.

Syaoran turned around, "I didn't know you knew japanese..." he observed.

"Well..." Sakura started, blushing slightly, "I used to have a friend who knew japanese very well. She taught me a few words."

Syaoran ignored her remark, he was disliking this girl already. "Anyways, this is going to be you room." he said in a cold tone. He turned around without saying another word and left Sakura exploring the room by herself.

Sakura felt as if she was stabbed in the heart, Syaoran never gave her that tone. 'He can't hate me already! I've only been here for fifteen minutes and we just met. And he's already giving that tone!' she thought sadly.

"Sakura..." she heard a muffled voice, "Is it safe to come out now?"

"Oh Kero!" she said, almost forgetting about him. She closed her door, "Now its safe to come out." She turned around and opened the backpack, Kero popped out instantly.

"Do you know how much it smells in there?" Kero almost yelled.

"Sorry Kero... I never did get a chance to wash any of my clothes." Sakura apologized. Her jacket was inside, with a pair of socks.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

Sakura's eyes widen, "Hurry Kero! Get into the closet!" Kero quickly slipped into the closet mumbling something to himself.

Sakura opened the door, to find four girls cautiously looking at her. "How cute!" they all squealed. They all surround Sakura and started talking to one another, "She looks so cute!" one of them squealed again. "Maybe we can get her together with little brother!" another one said. "But he's still so hung up with Sakura!" all of them giggled.

'Syaoran is still hung up on me?' Sakura instantly thought.

"Sisters! We forgot to introduce ourselfs!" one of them told them.

"Oh yes! I'm Sheifa," turning to Sakura, "These are my sisters, Feimei, Fanren and Futtie."

"Hi..." Sakura smiled.

"Ying Fa, do you have any clothes?" Futtie asked, looking at the small backpack sitting on the bed.

"Actually... this is the only outfit I have." Sakura said, blushing slightly. 'At least they weren't all over me last time I was here." Sakura thought, recalling the last time she was here with Syaoran and Tomoyo.

"That's okay! We can lend you some clothes! And we can make you up like a pretty doll!" Futtie squealed.

Sakura sweatdropped, "Umm... sure." Sakura said, not knowing what to really answer.

The four girls all jumped, Fanren handed her a chinese dress and pushed her into the washroom. "Go take a shower and put that on!"

Sakura tried to stay in the shower as long as possible, hoping to avoid the four crazy Li sisters for awhile. 'Syaoran seems so depressed, is it because of me? Or does he know that I'm dead?' she questioned herself again and again.

When she was done, she went looking for Syaoran. She looked throughout the house, but she had no luck. The last place she never checked was the backyard. She walked outside amazed by the garden that the Li family had growing. It was so many rose, peonies and many other different kinds of flowers. She saw in the distance a cherry tree, immediately admiring its beauty. She walked up to get a closer look. As she got closer, she heard a boy yelling and grunting. [a/n: haha...] She turned to see who it was, and immediately her eyes filled with sadness. There was a chestnut haired boy, on top of the hill busy throwing kicks and punches into thin air. It was Syaoran. [a/n: Sakura's at the bottom of the hill]

Syaoran was busy training, but suddenly he felt a faint light pink aura caressing his own. He looked around to see where it was coming from, his eyes fell onto Ying Fa.

'Why is he looking at me that way?' Sakura asked herself, 'Can he feel my aura?' Immediately she concentrated and hid her aura completely. During this process she never noticed that her dark green eyes were back to their normal color.

Syaoran snapped out of his trance and noticed that the pink aura he was feeling was gone. "What are you doing here, Ying Fa?" he asked angrily.

"Oh... I was admiring the garden... then I noticed that you were training." Sakura lied, "You know you are really good! Could you teach me a few moves?"

"No!" Syaoran immediately answered, "I train alone."

Sakura was on the verge of tears, blinking back she was looking at the man she loved. 'He's so cold... he seems so alone... If only I could tell him who I really am...' she thought will a tear sliding down her cheek. "Alright," she let out a fake smile, "I'll leave you to your training... alone." She turned around and ran into the house. She ran into her room and locked the door.

Kero came bursting out of the closet. "Where have you been!" he asked Sakura angrily.

"I... I..." she cried, "I don't think I can handle it, Kero!" With tears slowly sliding down her cheek.

Syaoran immediately popped into his mind, "Did that Chinese gaki do this to you?" he almost yelled.

"No its not him... it was my fault... I let my aura show..." she said quietly, "I had to completely hide it."

"Sakura!" he flew up to her, "You can't give up!"

Sakura nodded. 'Why can't I just tell him... he seems so hurt, and its all my fault!"

"Sakura! Your eyes!" Kero said, finally noticing that they were emerald greem once again.

Sakura went up to the mirror and gasped. She closed her eyes and concentrated. She opened them again and saw that nothing happened. "Why won't it change, Kero?"

"Try releasing your aura a tiny bit. And then try again." Kero advised.

Sakura concentrated and freed some of her aura. She closed her eyes and tried again. She opened them again and sighed. They changed back to the dark forest green they had been before.

"Ying Fa!" she heard a voice through the door, "Its time for dinner!"

"Er- I'll be out in a minute!" she called back.

"Alright, but hurry!"

Turning back to Kero, "Sorry Kero, I'll promise to bring you some dessert."

"Yay!" Kero said in delight.

Sakura went to the dining room and noticed that all the seats were taken, all except for one.

"Ying Fa! Just in time!" Sheifa greeted.

She nodded and took a seat.

"Ying Fa, I'm glad you made it in time. Now where is Xiao Lang? He's never late for dinner..." Yelan mumbled.

As if on cue, Syaoran brushed in. "I'm sorry I'm mother, I got caught up on my training." Syaoran apologized.

Sakura noticed that his eyes were all red, 'He's been crying!' she thought sadly.

The rest of the meal was quite quiet. There were occasional questions that the four Li sisters asked Sakura but no one really said a word. Syaoran just sat and ate his meal. He never took his eyes off the plate. Sakura sat there depressed, wanting to go over there and reach out to him. Finally it was time for dessert.

"Um...excuse me." Sakura said, suddenly remembering Kero, "Do you mind if I save the dessert for later and bring it upstairs?"

Yelan looked up and smiled, "Of course."

When dinner was finished, Syaoran left the dining room as fast as he could. Sakura offered to wash the dishes but Yelan had sent her to her room to get some rest. 'That poor girl, I can see them both suffering, and yet, I can't do a thing. I've never seen so much sadness in their eyes..." Yelan thought.

"Kero!" Sakura called as she closed the door.

"Waaaaa!!!!!" Kero popped out of the closet, noticing the cake in her hand.

"CAKKKEEE!!! WAAAA!!!!!!" Kero screamed in delight. He took the spoon and started pigging out. "This cake is great." Kero commented with his mouth full.

Sakura smiled and looked outside the window. Tears started sliding her cheek once again, 'Why does this have to happen? Why can't this be all over?' she thought.

'Well, Sakura I'm really tired..." Kero yawned, as he floated into the closet.

Sakura smiled, "Goodnight Kero." When she finally heard snoring through the closet door, she let it all pour out. Tears started to cascade down her cheeks. She changed into her sleeping clothes, that were borrowed from Futtie, and cried herself to sleep.

Syaoran was laying in his room, lonliness filled him. His chestnut hair covered his face, his amber eyes stared at the ceiling. He recalled the memory when he was staring at Ying Fa, remembering that there was a aura, a pink one, that was holding him for a few moments. 'Why did I feel Sakura with me there,' he wondered, 'It couldn't be Ying Fa... in the classroom when I first saw her, there was no aura coming from her. None what so ever...' As he laid there for a few moments... he thought about the last 24 hours. After awhile he slowly drifted himself to sleep.

[a/n: I hope that was a little longer :D well hope you enjoyed this chapter! I better go start on the next one! don't forget to tell me your ideas for future chapters! and some opinions :D]