The Very Picture of Desire
Author's note: Many thanks for all the kind reviews, especially to the enthusiastic reviewers would have said this is the best Kensuke you've ever read! I'm awed and hubmled by your words. If you want to read an awesome daiken/kensuke, check out The Walls Between by Kinslayer. Its heavy use of profanity aside, it's an incredible work. And easy to read, too: Kinslayer has this remarkable style that comes across as tender and gentle, despite the rather deep nature of the story. Some day I hope to be able to write like that.
Sitting in an office-style chair in his bedroom, Daisuke waited, impatient. He liked the chair: it was comfortable (more a bonus than anything else), with lots of neat features that he saw as "cool". There was the high pressure pneumatic tube for adjusting the seat height, which he had found useful over the last couple of years as his body grew into its adult height. Levers on the bottom let him change the stiffness of the chair back and how far back it could tilt. It swiveled, so he could quickly turn his attention from his computer to his telephone, which sat on a table beside his deak. And the whole thing was on casters, so he could wheel himself over to his bed or his closet without having to stand up.
Likewise his bedroom was filled with things he liked. He had spent a lot of time, energy, and money during his teenage years accumulating it all. His fancy computer, used mostly for playing games; the heavy desk on which it sat; and an impressive collection of accessories, pictures, and miscellaney, mostly purchased because they caught his eye, and bought primarily on impulse.
It also meant he usually owed money to Jun, or Taichi, or Takeru. They would loan him cash so he could buy things, and were willing to wait three or four months while he paid them back a thousand yen at a time.
And now he sat among all his stuff, waiting for something that had suddenly and unexpectedly made everything else pale by comparison.
Ken.
Earlier Ken had sent him a message on his Digivice saying they could get together again, but this time he had to be more careful about his timing. He had to make the jump into the digital world as close to 4:30 as he could. Any other time, Ken had said, and he ran the risk of ending up in the wrong spot. Daisuke accepted the explanation, vague though it was, but briefly wondered if Ken was sincere in his warning or just trying to force him into being patient.
Daisuke was never very good at patience.
He needed something to kill the time. Looking for something to do, he started a slide-show program on his computer, watching the pictures as they flipped across his screen. Ken had been very good about emailing him the snapshots of their lovemaking sessions, and Daisuke practically drooled over every one of them.
Some he even treasured. There was the one he had taken of Ken laying asleep on his bed the first time they had ever done something sexual together, his face so blissful and unconcerned. A picture from the time they were on the floor of his living room: the camera had caught Ken's ass and balls just before he had entered him; again, the first time they had done that.
Some shots of the first time he had done Ken. There was even a couple of the time after: Ken laying there naked on the grass and Daisuke, clothed, washing him. For some reason that picture always made Daisuke smile. It just seemed sort of funny to see one person naked and the other wearing pants and a shirt.
The show was making Daisuke hard. He didn't mind; he wore boxers rather than briefs, so he could expand without being constricted. He put a hand there and stroked. The pictures went by, and Daisuke kept his hand between his legs, enjoying both the show and himself.
And, alas, dear readers, this is where I have stopped writing. There were no updates over the summer; I was very busy with work and other things. Classes have started again, and I'm working part time, so there's no time to write. And since fanfiction.net seems to be standing firm on their position of taking down the NC-17 stories, I am, for the time being at least, dropping this project.
If anyone has suggestions for a good fanfiction site that allows the posting of NC-17 stories, please let me know in a review, and I'll investigate moving this story there.
Story outline from here
Here's how I had planned the story from this point:
This Chapter
Daisuke ends up in a cave that contains a fireplace and a big four poster bed straight out of Harry Potter. It's on File Mountain. When Ken takes Daisuke out to show him the cave entrance, Daisuke freaks out. The cave entrance is very high up on the mountain, and lately Daisuke has developed a fear of heights. Once over his fright, he and Ken head back to the big bed for some recreational activities.
As Daisuke mounts the pressure on Ken to commit to a long term relationship, Ken becomes more and more uneasy about it. Herein lie the essential conflicts in the story: Daisuke's growing possessiveness of Ken and his desires for sex and companionship, and Ken's hesitation at getting into just such a relationship.
Daisuke's emails to Ken (on as many email accounts as he can find for him), and messages to his D-3, none of which are very circumspect, rise to the point where he's sending nearly ten of them a day. Terrified that one of these may be seen by family or teachers, Ken frantically tries to stem the tide. But his increasing bluntness in asking Daisuke to first tone down the content of his messages, and then to stop sending them altogether, merely increases Daisuke's possessivness, and his emails.
So Ken puts together a plan ...
A Picture is Worth ...
After Ken tries to cut off the relationship, Daisuke irrationally threatens to expose everything by emailing pictures to all the digidestined (not realizing he'd be hurt as well by the ensuing explosion.) Ken agrees to make an attempt at restarting things, but it's more of a ruse to trick Daisuke into coming into the Digital World. Not that he needs much of an enticement on a Friday evening.
They end up in a cell, part of Ken's now run-down Digimon Kaizer fortress. Ken's in full Kaizer mode, both in dress and attitude. He takes complete control of the situation, dominating Daisuke in a way designed to frighten him out of his mind and hopefully force him to break off the relationship.
The chapter ends with Ken leaving Daisuke in the cell, slamming and locking the door behind him. Left alone, after an hour Daisuke hears some strange noises. Suddenly the roof flies away and the walls of the cell retract into the floor. Daisuke realizes in terror he's trapped not in an underground dungeon cell, but at the top of a tall tower, naked and exposed, with no way down. He screams until he's hoarse, but Ken does not reappear.
The Big Picture
Ken leaves Daisuke on the tower top until Saturday, sending him food, but not offering any clothes or protection from his fear of heights. On Sunday, he works at calming Daisuke down enough so he can function when he gets back home: he gives him back his clothes, feeds him, and chats with him as if nothing had happened the previous day. Finally he sedates him heavily and sends him back into his (Daisuke's) bedroom.
Of course, Daisuke's brief disappearance (satisfied by Ken's explanation that the two of them had spontaneously decided to take in one of Yamato's concerts at a conveniently nearby city), followed by his severely altered state of mind (not so easily explained away) cause questions among the Digidestined.
At this point, I'm not nearly as clear as to what happens ... Ken starts falling apart, too, wracked by guilt over what he did to Daisuke. Once Daisuke recovers from his trauma (probably two or three weeks), he finally realizes what an idiot he had been in his previous dealings with Ken. He's also concerned by reports of Ken's growing isolation from the rest of the Digidestined. Spurred on by requests from others (Takeru, Hikari, and Koushiro) to help him, he decides to try building bridges again. He starts out by sending Ken an email, the first one he's sent him since the events in chapter 8.
Photo Finish
Ken responds favorably to the email, relieved that Daisuke is still interested in being friends after what he had done to him. An exchange of emails later, followed by a long telephone call late at night, convinces Ken that Daisuke's obsession for him has been replaced by something deeper and more genuine. In turn, he realizes he actually loves Daisuke, even the obsessive, preoccupied Daisuke who had earlier blackmailed him by threatening to expose their relationship.
At last they meet again in the Digital World in a place they both know, an open space at the bottom of a ravine. They make apologies to each other and decide to try having another go at a relationship: Daisuke promises to work on his possessiveness and jealousy, and Ken promises to work on committing to him. This time they actually forgo having sex, each convinced there will lots of time for that later.
They also agree that if they're still together when spring comes around, they'll tell the others. Although Ken's sure by that time at least one of them, perhaps Iori, perhaps Miyako, will have already figured out the nature of their relationship.
"We can count on Iori being discreet," say Ken, "but Miyako will probably tell everyone the moment she thinks about it."
Daisuke responds, "Then I hope Miyako figures it out. It will save us from having to tell them ourselves."
