When I was a kid, my mother always told me that if I didn't take proper
care
of my belongings, then she'd give them to someone else who would. On that
grounds, then I probably *do* own most of the characters on the show.
But just in case TPTB don't see it that way....
DISCLAMER: "ER," the characters and situations depicted within are the
property of Warner Brothers Television, Amblin Entertainment, Constant
c Productions, NBC, etc blah blah blah
Apologies for any medical inaccuracies (I'm not a doctor)
Apologies for any cultural inaccuracies (I'm not American)
No apologies for spelling or grammar (that's Bill Gates fault cause I used
his spell-checker)
And by this stage you should know better than to be eating or drinking while
reading these
g
-----------------------
Contains spoilers for Season 8, up to and including 'Secret's and Lies'
Rated PG-15...or whatever 'S&L' was rated.
VIRTUAL SNIPPETS
--------------------
"I really don't understand why I have to do this," said Luka, frowning.
"I'm sorry about it, but my hands are tied," replied Detective Adams. "A complaint was filed against you, which means we have to look into it thoroughly."
"Oh, I quite understand why you're interviewing me," said Luka. "I just don't understand why it was necessary for me to remove my clothing." He looked at the female detective.
"Um, it's a new concept that the forensic scientists thought up. They believe that it's easier to tell whether someone is telling the truth."
Luka raised an eyebrow. "So that would also explain the video camera?"
Adams nodded.
"And the observers?" asked Luka, indicating the gaggle of women that had crowded into the room with them.
"Well, we have to train the rookies *somehow*."
-----------------------
"Yo Dave, whatcha doing with that sledgehammer?" asked Malik.
"Well, I heard that everyone was getting pissed off with triangles, so I thought I'd get back in the Chief's good books by going round and smashing any that I could find," replied Dave.
"Can I help?" asked Malik, eagerly.
"Sure…you can use the fire axe."
"YES!!" shouted Malik triumphantly.
--------------------
Luka sat disconsolately in the Lounge. "I cannot believe that Carter told Abby that he loved her…"
"Yeah, I know what you mean honey," said Haleh, patting his hand gently. "None of us nurses saw it coming either."
Luka snorted in disgust. "Hah, that's not what I'm talking about…I just didn't think he had the balls."
----------------------
Kerry limped up to Mark and asked, "Mark, do you approve of euthanasia?"
"Well, I have to admit that in the cases of the terminally ill, sometimes there comes a time when it's a blessing," replied Mark.
"Oh good," said Kerry, smiling sweetly. "Then hold out your arm…I've got a shot of something that will do us…er I mean, do *you* the world of good."
----------------------- --
Dave listened as Abby started screaming into the phone. "Hey," he said to Randi. "What's up with her?"
Randi grinned. "She just found out that her local herbalist is all out of the love potion she was using on Carter and Kovac."
"She used a love potion?"
Randi nodded. "Yep, slipped it into their morning coffee."
"Man," said Dave. "I knew there had to be drugs involved. How else would she have the two hottest guys in the place chasing after her."
Oblivious to the conversation going on behind her, Abby yelled down the phone line. "What do you mean, you don't think you'll be able to get any more for a month? What am I supposed to do until then?" She was silent for a few seconds listening to the response. "If that's the best advice you can come up with, I'll find another supplier. Slamming down the phone, she muttered to herself "Asshole…I wouldn't have been using his potion in the first place if I had a 'cheery disposition and kind manner'."
---------------------------
"Poor Dr. Corday," said Shirley to Kit as they watched her walk down the corridor.
"Yeah," replied Kit. "It must be terrible knowing that your husband's going to die slowly and painfully."
"Oh I didn't mean that. Apparently she found out yesterday that Dr. Greene is the one in a million of brain tumor patients that have full mental and speech facilities up until their dying breath."
"You don't mean…" asked Kit, a horrified expression on her face.
"I'm afraid so…there's going to be one hell of a long and drawn out death scene."
"Jesus…no wonder she's been acting so cranky."
"Nah, she was like that long before the tumor."
-------------------------
"So Dr. Chen," said the Lawyer from Risk Management. "Let me summarize the facts of *this* incident." He took a deep breath before continuing, "You ordered the wrong tests, didn't look at the x-rays, took five tries before getting an I.V. in, put the chest tube in the wrong place and left your watch behind after performing an internal exam." He looked up from his notes. "Have you got *anything* to say in your defense?"
"Well, Dr. Weaver didn't answer her page, so it's all *her* fault," said Chen.
"That's because I was at a conference in New York," snapped Kerry.
Chen shrugged "So what, I still paged you…it's not my fault that you didn't answer them."
-----------------------
"So the patient asked if she could have a termination without informing her husband," said Carter to Kerry as they were both standing beside the admit desk.
"And you told her that it was solely her decision?" asked Kerry.
"Yes," replied Carter. "After all, it is *her* body."
They stood there in silence for a few minutes before Kerry turned to Frank. "Um, Frank…don't you have anything to say on this?"
"Why would I have something to say?" asked Frank, looking slightly puzzled.
"Well, we've just been discussing a potentially controversial topic…that's your cue to jump in and spout the extreme right wing conservative point of view," said Kerry.
"Yeah," added Carter. "The point of view that we have to have so that we can't be accused of bias, but that we get someone like you to express so that nobody will take that side seriously."
Frank shook his head, "Not this time…personally I believe in a woman's right to choose."
Kerry looked at Carter blankly. "Shit…what are we going to do now? We can't just present one side of an issue…but we need to have the unpopular side presented by someone who nobody likes."
"Well, everybody hates *you*."
"Yes, but I've already been portrayed as being very liberal…hell, I'm even gay, so it can't be me…I mean, that would involve a complete rewriting of my history at County General."
"Oh right," said Carter. "And there's no way *that* sort of sloppy writing would ever happen."
----------------------
The nurses watched intently as Luka and Carter traded punches. There was a lot of money riding on the outcome of the fight.
"Man, they're really going at it," commented Abby who had just joined the group. "But shouldn't we break it up or something? I mean they could get hurt."
"Hey, there's nothing to worry about," replied Chuny. "I mean there's plenty of doctors around to patch them up. Besides, you should let them finish…after all, it is *you* that they're fighting over."
"It is?" asked Abby, a smile crossing her face. "Oh wow, two guys fighting over which of them gets to be with me…that's so romantic."
"Um, not exactly," said Chuny, trying unsuccessfully to hide a grin.
Luka punched Carter in the face sending him staggering backwards. "I already told you, dammit. Take her…*I* don't want her."
Carter screamed in frustration as he tackled Luka roughly. "NO NO NO! She's even more miserable than Mark. I don't want her."
---------------------
Kerry waved the dildo around as she paced up and down the room.
"Do you know what the worst thing about this is?" she screamed as the staff members who were lined up shame-faced in front of her.
"Um, because it's a slur on your sexuality?" asked Luka.
"No…but that's bad enough."
"Because it's a patients personal property and we shouldn't have been messing around with it?" volunteered Gallant.
"Because by breaking into the locker someone invaded your privacy?" suggested Susan.
Carter just made goo-goo eyes at Abby who was wishing she could sneak out and grab a cigarette.
"No, no, no…the absolute worst thing about this whole sorry incident, is that I loathe and despise that shade of purple," said Kerry tossing the dildo on the table.
------------------------
of my belongings, then she'd give them to someone else who would. On that
grounds, then I probably *do* own most of the characters on the show.
But just in case TPTB don't see it that way....
DISCLAMER: "ER," the characters and situations depicted within are the
property of Warner Brothers Television, Amblin Entertainment, Constant
c Productions, NBC, etc blah blah blah
Apologies for any medical inaccuracies (I'm not a doctor)
Apologies for any cultural inaccuracies (I'm not American)
No apologies for spelling or grammar (that's Bill Gates fault cause I used
his spell-checker)
And by this stage you should know better than to be eating or drinking while
reading these
g
-----------------------
Contains spoilers for Season 8, up to and including 'Secret's and Lies'
Rated PG-15...or whatever 'S&L' was rated.
VIRTUAL SNIPPETS
--------------------
"I really don't understand why I have to do this," said Luka, frowning.
"I'm sorry about it, but my hands are tied," replied Detective Adams. "A complaint was filed against you, which means we have to look into it thoroughly."
"Oh, I quite understand why you're interviewing me," said Luka. "I just don't understand why it was necessary for me to remove my clothing." He looked at the female detective.
"Um, it's a new concept that the forensic scientists thought up. They believe that it's easier to tell whether someone is telling the truth."
Luka raised an eyebrow. "So that would also explain the video camera?"
Adams nodded.
"And the observers?" asked Luka, indicating the gaggle of women that had crowded into the room with them.
"Well, we have to train the rookies *somehow*."
-----------------------
"Yo Dave, whatcha doing with that sledgehammer?" asked Malik.
"Well, I heard that everyone was getting pissed off with triangles, so I thought I'd get back in the Chief's good books by going round and smashing any that I could find," replied Dave.
"Can I help?" asked Malik, eagerly.
"Sure…you can use the fire axe."
"YES!!" shouted Malik triumphantly.
--------------------
Luka sat disconsolately in the Lounge. "I cannot believe that Carter told Abby that he loved her…"
"Yeah, I know what you mean honey," said Haleh, patting his hand gently. "None of us nurses saw it coming either."
Luka snorted in disgust. "Hah, that's not what I'm talking about…I just didn't think he had the balls."
----------------------
Kerry limped up to Mark and asked, "Mark, do you approve of euthanasia?"
"Well, I have to admit that in the cases of the terminally ill, sometimes there comes a time when it's a blessing," replied Mark.
"Oh good," said Kerry, smiling sweetly. "Then hold out your arm…I've got a shot of something that will do us…er I mean, do *you* the world of good."
----------------------- --
Dave listened as Abby started screaming into the phone. "Hey," he said to Randi. "What's up with her?"
Randi grinned. "She just found out that her local herbalist is all out of the love potion she was using on Carter and Kovac."
"She used a love potion?"
Randi nodded. "Yep, slipped it into their morning coffee."
"Man," said Dave. "I knew there had to be drugs involved. How else would she have the two hottest guys in the place chasing after her."
Oblivious to the conversation going on behind her, Abby yelled down the phone line. "What do you mean, you don't think you'll be able to get any more for a month? What am I supposed to do until then?" She was silent for a few seconds listening to the response. "If that's the best advice you can come up with, I'll find another supplier. Slamming down the phone, she muttered to herself "Asshole…I wouldn't have been using his potion in the first place if I had a 'cheery disposition and kind manner'."
---------------------------
"Poor Dr. Corday," said Shirley to Kit as they watched her walk down the corridor.
"Yeah," replied Kit. "It must be terrible knowing that your husband's going to die slowly and painfully."
"Oh I didn't mean that. Apparently she found out yesterday that Dr. Greene is the one in a million of brain tumor patients that have full mental and speech facilities up until their dying breath."
"You don't mean…" asked Kit, a horrified expression on her face.
"I'm afraid so…there's going to be one hell of a long and drawn out death scene."
"Jesus…no wonder she's been acting so cranky."
"Nah, she was like that long before the tumor."
-------------------------
"So Dr. Chen," said the Lawyer from Risk Management. "Let me summarize the facts of *this* incident." He took a deep breath before continuing, "You ordered the wrong tests, didn't look at the x-rays, took five tries before getting an I.V. in, put the chest tube in the wrong place and left your watch behind after performing an internal exam." He looked up from his notes. "Have you got *anything* to say in your defense?"
"Well, Dr. Weaver didn't answer her page, so it's all *her* fault," said Chen.
"That's because I was at a conference in New York," snapped Kerry.
Chen shrugged "So what, I still paged you…it's not my fault that you didn't answer them."
-----------------------
"So the patient asked if she could have a termination without informing her husband," said Carter to Kerry as they were both standing beside the admit desk.
"And you told her that it was solely her decision?" asked Kerry.
"Yes," replied Carter. "After all, it is *her* body."
They stood there in silence for a few minutes before Kerry turned to Frank. "Um, Frank…don't you have anything to say on this?"
"Why would I have something to say?" asked Frank, looking slightly puzzled.
"Well, we've just been discussing a potentially controversial topic…that's your cue to jump in and spout the extreme right wing conservative point of view," said Kerry.
"Yeah," added Carter. "The point of view that we have to have so that we can't be accused of bias, but that we get someone like you to express so that nobody will take that side seriously."
Frank shook his head, "Not this time…personally I believe in a woman's right to choose."
Kerry looked at Carter blankly. "Shit…what are we going to do now? We can't just present one side of an issue…but we need to have the unpopular side presented by someone who nobody likes."
"Well, everybody hates *you*."
"Yes, but I've already been portrayed as being very liberal…hell, I'm even gay, so it can't be me…I mean, that would involve a complete rewriting of my history at County General."
"Oh right," said Carter. "And there's no way *that* sort of sloppy writing would ever happen."
----------------------
The nurses watched intently as Luka and Carter traded punches. There was a lot of money riding on the outcome of the fight.
"Man, they're really going at it," commented Abby who had just joined the group. "But shouldn't we break it up or something? I mean they could get hurt."
"Hey, there's nothing to worry about," replied Chuny. "I mean there's plenty of doctors around to patch them up. Besides, you should let them finish…after all, it is *you* that they're fighting over."
"It is?" asked Abby, a smile crossing her face. "Oh wow, two guys fighting over which of them gets to be with me…that's so romantic."
"Um, not exactly," said Chuny, trying unsuccessfully to hide a grin.
Luka punched Carter in the face sending him staggering backwards. "I already told you, dammit. Take her…*I* don't want her."
Carter screamed in frustration as he tackled Luka roughly. "NO NO NO! She's even more miserable than Mark. I don't want her."
---------------------
Kerry waved the dildo around as she paced up and down the room.
"Do you know what the worst thing about this is?" she screamed as the staff members who were lined up shame-faced in front of her.
"Um, because it's a slur on your sexuality?" asked Luka.
"No…but that's bad enough."
"Because it's a patients personal property and we shouldn't have been messing around with it?" volunteered Gallant.
"Because by breaking into the locker someone invaded your privacy?" suggested Susan.
Carter just made goo-goo eyes at Abby who was wishing she could sneak out and grab a cigarette.
"No, no, no…the absolute worst thing about this whole sorry incident, is that I loathe and despise that shade of purple," said Kerry tossing the dildo on the table.
------------------------
