Sunday, 2.00pm

Have you ever cried so hard and for so long that after a while you had no more tears? Well, that's what happened to me. I can barely describe the emptiness inside of me and if it weren't because I might make my new brother/sister deaf, I would scream with every ounce of my body and try to take away the pain.

Today I woke up at the crack of dawn and my pillow was still soaking wet with tears. I tried to go to sleep again just to be able to forget what happened the night before but I couldn't. I gazed through my window looking at the cars that passed by. I felt so jealous, how could others be so happy when I was dying inside? I lied in bed and staid still for 2 hours but then I had to move. I grabbed Fat Louie and just stroked his nice soft fury coat. Around nine, I walked in to the living room and that's when I saw my piano. It was old and covered in dust since it was so long ago since I used it. Grandmere had insisted that I should take piano lessons. So for 5 summers I did and actually became pretty good. I opened my piano, which was a birthday gift from my father, and tried to blow all the dust away. I closed my eyes and tried to remember how to play. Without even thinking, my hands started to move on their own. You know, it was like learning how to ride a bike; I guess you never forget. After two minutes I saw Frank's head pop out of his room and just before he was asked me what was wrong, my mom called him back in. She knew that the occasions when I played were rare but extremely significant and that I wanted to be alone. I first played when Lil and I had our first major fight, when mom came home really late and I thought she had abandoned me, then when Fat Louie ate that sock, when I thought dad may die because of cancer, and well, today. I wish I could write down what happened but I haven't eaten in two days so I'm pretty weak. More later.