okay for starters this here took five minutes to make... its called spur of the moment writing and can be funny if the person has enough imagination and writes something unexpected.. or he can repeat himself and be boring... anyways here goes...

Muffins the penguin (thats french you know so accent the F) was sitting in his den one day chewing on polar bear flesh that he had just eaten by mobbing it and crawliing down his throat to stab it violently when another penguin dashed into his cave so muffins said what are you doing and the penguin said kidnapping your hamster and muffins was like nooooo and the penguin was like mwahahahaha and took the hamster after subdueing muffins with about 20 very potent tranquilizer darts then dashing out of the room and flying away (yes penguins DO fly they just dont want to show scientists that they can so scientists are WRONG) to his lair in cuba where he sold it for cigars and lived a long happy life thereafter at the beaches but however muffins was angered and he, after getting over his therapy and tranquilizers anonymous (cuz he was addicted) hitched a ride on a billy goat that could hop really far and swim fast because when muffins was high he was like ooo lets go play in the blenderrr and he chopped off his wings and also his left forefinger (but he got that sewed back on) which doesnt matter because when he was going through canada he was chased by an angry beaver for 200 miles beacuase they ate his kiddie which looked like a polar bear cuz he was so fat and when he went through america he met all the illegal immagrants from canada that were selling sedatives and it took muffins a while to tear his eyes away from the tranquilizer he used to be addicted to so he instead went to cuba after being pursued by the jewish nazis of America (JNOA) and found himself being put in a prison camp for eating the sacraficial lamb but he was saved by keebler elves who were also being held there (except for the ones in the keebler mine being enslaved by leg biting cave dwarves who shoved you into a machine if you tried to rebel and ate you as a cookie but really thats another story altogether, one that i am too lazy to write at this moment) and he ran to the capitol of cuba which in this story is called uberslophen because i am too lazy to find out what the capitol is and since im never going to go there i will probably NEVER bother but anyways muffin assaulted the dictator-dude via broomstick because he stole it from harry potter after slapping him violently and he flew over his hamsters head but alas it was too late: they had mutated the hamster to 50 times his size and he grew 10 extra heads and he breathed fire and so he ate the penguin (yeah like the penguin is a match to it) and the penguin met an untimely demise in his stomach due to food poisoning after he ate his sisters cat which was half digested and rotting the end