Summary: Willow's in denial, Spike's crazy, can they save each other? br br

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.  Though I wish I owned Spike, sigh, oh well, enjoy the yumminess anyway. brbr

************************************************************************br

            Spike fell on the cold, hard ground of the cave.  The demon retracted his hand and allowed Spike to deal with his pain alone.  He fainted from the emotional pain he felt.  When he stirred the next day, he burst out into tears.  "Oh god, did I really, oh" he cried. br   br

            It took him days to just get outside the cave, and weeks to be able to walk around the village with his head held high.  He felt a strange calling to go back to the place that had made his unlife a living hell, though he didn't know why. br br  

            With his ability to sustain the pain long enough to walk came a horrible consequence.  When he finally let the feelings out, he would be taunted by nothingness, but it would sometimes take shape and become forms that cause him more and more pain.

            He set off for Sunnydale again, because he really had no other place to go. br br br  hr

            Willow was alone again.  She had just come from her last class from the coven.  She was appreciative of what they taught her, but she was too concerned with what she had done to care.  She understood everything, and was willing to learn, but her mind would not accept what her heart had done, and that preoccupied it. brbr

            She sat on one of the hotel chairs and crossed a leg over the other.  She leaned back and sighed, closing her eyes.  Tears streamed down her face, as they had every day for her months there.  brbr

            Her love was gone.  She had killed the man who had done it.  She had tried to destroy the world, but more so, her friends.  The very people who had put up with her phases, and she had even attempted to kill her best friend.  The one who understood her most.  She couldn't deal with herself any longer. brbr

            Willow ran into the bathroom and stared at her reflection in the mirror.  She slapped herself on the face.  She continued to slap until her hands hurt, then she punched herself.  She started sobbing and collapsed on the floor pulling at her hair and scratching her legs with her nails.  brbr

            Giles was on his way to the room, but he ran when he felt her pain.  They had been connected paranormally when she stole his power, and he could feel her joy, her confusion, her murderous thoughts, everything.  He opened the door and ran to the sound. brbr

            He found her crumpled on the floor.  Her legs were bleeding and her face was beet red.  He picked her up and cradled her head gently, rocking her back and forth.  "Giles, I can't stand it anymore!  This pain, this guilt, what you've done has been wonderful but I can't," she started.  Giles patted her back and whispered, "Shh, dear Willow, I understand.  Calm yourself, we're going back to Sunnydale, and your friends will be there, and it will be ok." brbr

            She sniffed and looked up at him, "How can you say that??  I've murdered somebody and you say it will be fine?  How, why, what made you," she tried but she started crying again.  "There, there.  You're right, what happened is not okay, but everything will be from now on.  You must be strong about this, Willow.  I cannot be strong for you.  I will not," Giles said lovingly, but firmly. brbr

            Red-eyed and not quite clear of tears yet, she nodded and tried to stand.  Giles helped her up, and led her back to the bedroom.  "Now, can you handle packing?" he asked.  She nodded again and he said, "Alright then, I shall be downstairs waiting for you.  Our ride will be here shortly," and he left. brbr

            Willow packed what little things the Council had packed for her in their rush to get her to safety.  She glanced around the room once more, took a deep sigh and headed to the door.  She walked downstairs, never looking back. hr