TITLE: Looking Back
BY: Sunnyshine405@aol.com
SUMMARY: Buffy gets sent into the past and finds out something she didn't see before.
Set directly after the events in Fool For Love. Anything up until then applies.
CONTENT: Buffy/Spike
DISCLAIMER: I don't own BTVS or any of its characters, just borrowing and manipulating into my own plot-line.
RATING: Pg-13
AUTHOR'S NOTE: When Buffy travels back in time, she will be Buffy1 and the Buffy in that time will be Buffy2
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buffy could not believe her life had become so completly complicated so fast. Her baby sister, the one she thought that she had had in her life every since she could rememeber, was some key thing that some monks put into a human form and sent to her, along with the fake memories. It killed her to know that every single thing she had remembered before Dracula wasn't real.
Then there was that extremly strong, physcotic bitch that she had fought before she had found out about Dawn. She had a bad feeling that she would be back.
Then, now, just a couple nights ago, she had almost died at the hands of a run-of -the-mill vampire. One vampire had managed to change the direction of her stake; instead of plunging into his unbeating heart, impaling her. If Riley hadn't showed up when he had, she knew she would not of made it.
Then she just HAD to figure out why Slayer's died. First, an unsucessful research session with Giles. Then she had to think of Spike. She had to make him tell her how those two Slayers died at his hands. She wanted battle moves, she wanted stragizing. She wanted to be prepared for the next time. What she got was what she never expected. He had told her that they had wanted it, it was an intial death wish that all Slayer's have before they die. She wanted to pretend that he said that just to get to her, that it wasn't it at all. But she couldn't. The truth laid painfully out in front of her to see. She knew it was the truth. She had wondered before, what was it like. Hell, she'd wanted it before. Only for a second, but that one second was enough for her to know that that was the downfall of a Slayer. She knew it was only a matter of time before she would let the need for it to all just end consume her.
And then, there was Spike himself. He really got to her. Out of all the vampires she'd fought, he was so incredibly different. Sometimes she would forget he was a vampire. Just for a minute, she could see him as more than a demon. There was something about him that made it impossible to kill him. She hadn't been able to before the Initiative because he was a perfect match to her strength and skill, but now, he was tamed. He had a chip, she should have been able to stake him in the blink of an eye. She would have. When he first came to them, she should have been able to do it without a thought. The only thing that stopped her from trying was because they needed information from him.
*But what happened after we knew everything we needed to know?* She asked herself. Somehow he had managed to get at least a little bit of respect from the group that kept them from killing him. She noted that he paid attention to the group very well, he understood them, he knew them all personally. Especially her. And it scared her. She was constantly asking herself, what if he gets the chip out? She found out eventially that she couldn't stake him. It frustrated her to no end. *I can't stand him, chip or no, he's a vampire, I hate him. Then why? Why can't I just do it?* It was the one question that constantly plagued her thoughts. The one she couldn't answer. The one she wanted to pretend didn't exist.
And then, just the night before, right after she found out about her mother, when she was sitting on the back porch step... Spike came. He had a gun. But, yet, she wasn't scared. She was ready to welcome death right then; that scared her. When he had put his gun, he obvisouly had intended on using, down, when he asked her if something was wrong, when he asked her if there was anything he could do to make it better; the part of her that was embracing the death wish wanted to scream at him to do it. She almost had. She wanted to scream at him, beat him, make him do what he had come there to do. It didn't hit her until he sat down with her that he couldn't do it either. He couldn't kill her. Not because of the chip. She realized it was the same reason she couldn't just stake him. She didn't understand it, and she was sure he didn't, but she knew there was nothing either of them could do about it.
*At least mom's alright* She remeinded herself. Her mom had gone to the hospital earlier to get the catscan. It turned out to be nothing, as origanilly thought. It was a relief. A big one.
Buffy glanced over at the clock. It was 6:30. Giles wanted her to go over to the magic shop to talk about the Slayer deal, since she had told him she had recieved information. She sighed. She didn't want to relive the pain at the startling truth.
*Maybe I should tell Spike to come tell him. He'd tell it better than I could*
*Are you crazy?!? Why would you want to have to deal with him agian?*
She frowned, continuing to argure with herself.
*Okay, not going to help. Giles, Magic Shop, tale of Slayer death wishes.*
With another loud sigh, she picked up a couple of stakes from her dresser, sticking them in various places on her body, then left the room.
She took the stairs two at a time and, reaching the bottom, grabbed her coat, and was out the door.
BY: Sunnyshine405@aol.com
SUMMARY: Buffy gets sent into the past and finds out something she didn't see before.
Set directly after the events in Fool For Love. Anything up until then applies.
CONTENT: Buffy/Spike
DISCLAIMER: I don't own BTVS or any of its characters, just borrowing and manipulating into my own plot-line.
RATING: Pg-13
AUTHOR'S NOTE: When Buffy travels back in time, she will be Buffy1 and the Buffy in that time will be Buffy2
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buffy could not believe her life had become so completly complicated so fast. Her baby sister, the one she thought that she had had in her life every since she could rememeber, was some key thing that some monks put into a human form and sent to her, along with the fake memories. It killed her to know that every single thing she had remembered before Dracula wasn't real.
Then there was that extremly strong, physcotic bitch that she had fought before she had found out about Dawn. She had a bad feeling that she would be back.
Then, now, just a couple nights ago, she had almost died at the hands of a run-of -the-mill vampire. One vampire had managed to change the direction of her stake; instead of plunging into his unbeating heart, impaling her. If Riley hadn't showed up when he had, she knew she would not of made it.
Then she just HAD to figure out why Slayer's died. First, an unsucessful research session with Giles. Then she had to think of Spike. She had to make him tell her how those two Slayers died at his hands. She wanted battle moves, she wanted stragizing. She wanted to be prepared for the next time. What she got was what she never expected. He had told her that they had wanted it, it was an intial death wish that all Slayer's have before they die. She wanted to pretend that he said that just to get to her, that it wasn't it at all. But she couldn't. The truth laid painfully out in front of her to see. She knew it was the truth. She had wondered before, what was it like. Hell, she'd wanted it before. Only for a second, but that one second was enough for her to know that that was the downfall of a Slayer. She knew it was only a matter of time before she would let the need for it to all just end consume her.
And then, there was Spike himself. He really got to her. Out of all the vampires she'd fought, he was so incredibly different. Sometimes she would forget he was a vampire. Just for a minute, she could see him as more than a demon. There was something about him that made it impossible to kill him. She hadn't been able to before the Initiative because he was a perfect match to her strength and skill, but now, he was tamed. He had a chip, she should have been able to stake him in the blink of an eye. She would have. When he first came to them, she should have been able to do it without a thought. The only thing that stopped her from trying was because they needed information from him.
*But what happened after we knew everything we needed to know?* She asked herself. Somehow he had managed to get at least a little bit of respect from the group that kept them from killing him. She noted that he paid attention to the group very well, he understood them, he knew them all personally. Especially her. And it scared her. She was constantly asking herself, what if he gets the chip out? She found out eventially that she couldn't stake him. It frustrated her to no end. *I can't stand him, chip or no, he's a vampire, I hate him. Then why? Why can't I just do it?* It was the one question that constantly plagued her thoughts. The one she couldn't answer. The one she wanted to pretend didn't exist.
And then, just the night before, right after she found out about her mother, when she was sitting on the back porch step... Spike came. He had a gun. But, yet, she wasn't scared. She was ready to welcome death right then; that scared her. When he had put his gun, he obvisouly had intended on using, down, when he asked her if something was wrong, when he asked her if there was anything he could do to make it better; the part of her that was embracing the death wish wanted to scream at him to do it. She almost had. She wanted to scream at him, beat him, make him do what he had come there to do. It didn't hit her until he sat down with her that he couldn't do it either. He couldn't kill her. Not because of the chip. She realized it was the same reason she couldn't just stake him. She didn't understand it, and she was sure he didn't, but she knew there was nothing either of them could do about it.
*At least mom's alright* She remeinded herself. Her mom had gone to the hospital earlier to get the catscan. It turned out to be nothing, as origanilly thought. It was a relief. A big one.
Buffy glanced over at the clock. It was 6:30. Giles wanted her to go over to the magic shop to talk about the Slayer deal, since she had told him she had recieved information. She sighed. She didn't want to relive the pain at the startling truth.
*Maybe I should tell Spike to come tell him. He'd tell it better than I could*
*Are you crazy?!? Why would you want to have to deal with him agian?*
She frowned, continuing to argure with herself.
*Okay, not going to help. Giles, Magic Shop, tale of Slayer death wishes.*
With another loud sigh, she picked up a couple of stakes from her dresser, sticking them in various places on her body, then left the room.
She took the stairs two at a time and, reaching the bottom, grabbed her coat, and was out the door.
