Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does.
Chapter 1
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Sirius Black's mother left him when he was five years old. Sirius missed his mother, how could he not, her being the wonderful person that she was, but he never cried about her being gone. Sirius Black had never cried in his life. His parents had always thought this very strange, but Sirius had a very mature mind for his age, and he just never saw any reason to cry. Pain, no matter how severe it was, would never last forever. And crying sure never made anything any better for anyone.
But as each day went by his father's pain became more and more apparent. It was as if the sorrow wore continuosly down on Mr. Black until he couldn't hide it anymore. Sirius watched from behind a doorway as his father buried his head in his hands and cried. Sirius had always thought that his father was unbreakable, invincable. His father was an Auror, and Auror's don't cry. The shock of his father doing something so weak made Sirius angry beyond control. He turned and walked slowly up the stairs. He stopped at a picture of his mother hanging in the hall and stared at it with his fists clenched. She was very pretty, with soft brown hair flowing around her shoulders. The young boy winced as the smiling picture waved to him happily. He couldn't bear it anymore. She had hurt his father. He picked the picture up silently and threw it down the stairs. He turned into his room and closed the door softly as he heard the sound of glass shattering into millions of peices.
He sat on his bed and looked through the window at the huge peach tree in the front yard. His mother had gone to a muggle nursery to buy it. As Sirius helped her plant it, he had asked her why they didn't just use magic to bury it. Or just use magic to get the peaches. She stopped what she was doing and pushed a wisp of her hair behind her ear with soil stained hands. She sighed. "Sirius, haven't you ever wanted something more than this? Don't you get sick and tired of doing things so easily? Always using magic for whatever you want or need, but never quite being satisfied with what you have?" Sirius didn't answer. She sighed again as she took her bright blue eyes away from his pitch black ones and looked up at the sky. A small serene smile spread across her face. "Look at the sky, son. It's so real. Isn't it beautiful?" Sirius looked up at the sky. Thin white wifts of clouds floated lazily across the pale yet vivid blue sky. He looked back down at his mother, who was staring sadly into his eyes. He nodded slowly and she smiled as she leaned down and kissed him softly on his forehead. But even as she smiled Sirius thought he could see a single tear sliding down her dirt smeared cheek.
He didn't look at the door as he heard it open softly. He felt the bed move as his father sat down at the end of it. "Why did she leave?" Sirius asked bluntly. After a few moments of silence he heard his father sigh. "Your mother," He started. After anpther few minutes he continued on again. "Your mother has never been quite happy here. I guess it just finally got to be too much for her." Sirius could hear the pain echoing in his father's strained voice. "Was it my fault?" Sirius asked without looking away from the tree in the yard. He was afraid that if he looked at his father, he would see the tear stains or red, puffy eyes, and he didn't know if he could stand that again. "No, no, never think that. Your mother loved you very much, and I think she would have taken you with her if I had let her." Mr. Black said sadly. Sirius turned to look at him now, his black eyes shining with unexpressed emotion."I'm never getting married. I'm going to be an Auror just like you. And I'm never going to get hurt. Never." Mr. Black opened his mouth to say something then closed it again. He tried without success to smile. He ruffled his son's hair softly and turned and left the room. Sirius stayed up all night, staring at the black starry sky.
***********
Twelve years later Sirius Black plops into an armchair in the common room of Gryffindor house with books and papers filling his arms. "I'm telling you, it's horny toad!" Came the voice of his best friend, James Potter. "Fish eyes is the main ingrediant for sleeping potions you moron! Not horny toad!" The second voice came from Sirius's other friend, Remus Lupin. Sitting on the floor by the fire was Peter Pettigrew, the fourth member of the group.
Sirius grinned as he flipped through his text book to the sleeping potion section. He scrolled down the page until he found what he was looking for. "The main ingrediant in the common sleeping potion is fish eyes." He read aloud. Remus smiled smugly at James, which was more effective than if he had screamed 'I told you so!' at the top of his lungs. James lunged at Remus but was pulled back onto the couch he was sitting on by Sirius. Sirius and James laughed as they struggled together. "James," The two boys stopped fighting.
"What, Lily?" James asked. "When you're done could you help me a minute with transfiguration?" James sighed as he pushed Sirius off of him and walked over to his girlfriend who was sitting in an armchair a few feet away.
Sirius had never been very interested in girls. It might have had something to do with his mother leaving all those years ago. Girls found him somthing of a hunk, so he got asked out quite a bit, but he had always had the general impression that all females were just out to hurt every male in the universe, (with the exception of Lily) so he turned them all down. It wasn't until a year ago that he changed his mind about girls. A 5th year girl came to Hogwarts. None of the students knew why she started in her fifth year, there were many theories, but each one was more ridiculous than the one before it, so Sirius preferred for it to remain a mystery. Sirius liked her. And ever since he saw her step of the Hogwarts express a few weeks ago, he even thinks he loves her. She is best friends with Lily Potter, and thus hangs out with Marauders quite a bit. Which certainly doesn't make things any easier for Sirius. But it wasn't just the fact that she was pretty, and Sirius certainly thought she was, but she was also kind, thoughtful, humble, nice, sweet, and in every other way wonderful. She never wore make-up, she had white-blonde hair that was usualy in a loose braid, pale skin, red lips, and the sweetest smile that made Sirius go absolutely weak at the knees. Her name was Mercy Williams, and in Sirius's eyes, she was perfect.
The only people in the world who knew about Sirius's feelings were James, Peter, and Remus. Sirius had made James promise he would never tell Lily, considering Lily would undoubtedly tell Mercy. None of them could understand why he hadn't asked Mercy out yet, his crush had started more than a year ago. "You don't understand," Sirius would say. "She's so wonderful and serene! She can even make Lily feel calm, for Pete's sake. I'm one of the biggest pranksters that ever walked the earth! Why would she ever go out with anyone like me?" James would sigh and say "Just ask her out and if she says no then at least you'll know!" Sirius would shake his head and continue pacing. "I can't do that, James, If she said no I-I couldn't- I couldn't go on." Peter would look confused and Remus would roll his eyes. Every conversation was just the same. Sirius knew that James was probably right, but James and Lily had both liked each other since their first year at Hogwarts. James mother hadn't left him, James had never felt heartache and pain half as severe as Sirius had.
Sirius knew he should probably just listen to his friends, or at least to Remus and James, since both of them had girlfriends they must know something about the subject. But every time he planned to tell her, as soon as he got close to Mercy, his heart started beating rapidly and he had to sit down his knees felt so weak. And when she smiled at him he knew that if she ever turned him down he wouldn't be able to live.
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A/N: Well I hope you liked the start, I don't really know if I do or not. I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. And don't worry, in my opinion this story gets better as it goes along. In the next chapter you'll learn more about Remus's girlfriend and the group in general. Thanks for reading this and please reveiw!
~Eowyn
Chapter 1
**********
Sirius Black's mother left him when he was five years old. Sirius missed his mother, how could he not, her being the wonderful person that she was, but he never cried about her being gone. Sirius Black had never cried in his life. His parents had always thought this very strange, but Sirius had a very mature mind for his age, and he just never saw any reason to cry. Pain, no matter how severe it was, would never last forever. And crying sure never made anything any better for anyone.
But as each day went by his father's pain became more and more apparent. It was as if the sorrow wore continuosly down on Mr. Black until he couldn't hide it anymore. Sirius watched from behind a doorway as his father buried his head in his hands and cried. Sirius had always thought that his father was unbreakable, invincable. His father was an Auror, and Auror's don't cry. The shock of his father doing something so weak made Sirius angry beyond control. He turned and walked slowly up the stairs. He stopped at a picture of his mother hanging in the hall and stared at it with his fists clenched. She was very pretty, with soft brown hair flowing around her shoulders. The young boy winced as the smiling picture waved to him happily. He couldn't bear it anymore. She had hurt his father. He picked the picture up silently and threw it down the stairs. He turned into his room and closed the door softly as he heard the sound of glass shattering into millions of peices.
He sat on his bed and looked through the window at the huge peach tree in the front yard. His mother had gone to a muggle nursery to buy it. As Sirius helped her plant it, he had asked her why they didn't just use magic to bury it. Or just use magic to get the peaches. She stopped what she was doing and pushed a wisp of her hair behind her ear with soil stained hands. She sighed. "Sirius, haven't you ever wanted something more than this? Don't you get sick and tired of doing things so easily? Always using magic for whatever you want or need, but never quite being satisfied with what you have?" Sirius didn't answer. She sighed again as she took her bright blue eyes away from his pitch black ones and looked up at the sky. A small serene smile spread across her face. "Look at the sky, son. It's so real. Isn't it beautiful?" Sirius looked up at the sky. Thin white wifts of clouds floated lazily across the pale yet vivid blue sky. He looked back down at his mother, who was staring sadly into his eyes. He nodded slowly and she smiled as she leaned down and kissed him softly on his forehead. But even as she smiled Sirius thought he could see a single tear sliding down her dirt smeared cheek.
He didn't look at the door as he heard it open softly. He felt the bed move as his father sat down at the end of it. "Why did she leave?" Sirius asked bluntly. After a few moments of silence he heard his father sigh. "Your mother," He started. After anpther few minutes he continued on again. "Your mother has never been quite happy here. I guess it just finally got to be too much for her." Sirius could hear the pain echoing in his father's strained voice. "Was it my fault?" Sirius asked without looking away from the tree in the yard. He was afraid that if he looked at his father, he would see the tear stains or red, puffy eyes, and he didn't know if he could stand that again. "No, no, never think that. Your mother loved you very much, and I think she would have taken you with her if I had let her." Mr. Black said sadly. Sirius turned to look at him now, his black eyes shining with unexpressed emotion."I'm never getting married. I'm going to be an Auror just like you. And I'm never going to get hurt. Never." Mr. Black opened his mouth to say something then closed it again. He tried without success to smile. He ruffled his son's hair softly and turned and left the room. Sirius stayed up all night, staring at the black starry sky.
***********
Twelve years later Sirius Black plops into an armchair in the common room of Gryffindor house with books and papers filling his arms. "I'm telling you, it's horny toad!" Came the voice of his best friend, James Potter. "Fish eyes is the main ingrediant for sleeping potions you moron! Not horny toad!" The second voice came from Sirius's other friend, Remus Lupin. Sitting on the floor by the fire was Peter Pettigrew, the fourth member of the group.
Sirius grinned as he flipped through his text book to the sleeping potion section. He scrolled down the page until he found what he was looking for. "The main ingrediant in the common sleeping potion is fish eyes." He read aloud. Remus smiled smugly at James, which was more effective than if he had screamed 'I told you so!' at the top of his lungs. James lunged at Remus but was pulled back onto the couch he was sitting on by Sirius. Sirius and James laughed as they struggled together. "James," The two boys stopped fighting.
"What, Lily?" James asked. "When you're done could you help me a minute with transfiguration?" James sighed as he pushed Sirius off of him and walked over to his girlfriend who was sitting in an armchair a few feet away.
Sirius had never been very interested in girls. It might have had something to do with his mother leaving all those years ago. Girls found him somthing of a hunk, so he got asked out quite a bit, but he had always had the general impression that all females were just out to hurt every male in the universe, (with the exception of Lily) so he turned them all down. It wasn't until a year ago that he changed his mind about girls. A 5th year girl came to Hogwarts. None of the students knew why she started in her fifth year, there were many theories, but each one was more ridiculous than the one before it, so Sirius preferred for it to remain a mystery. Sirius liked her. And ever since he saw her step of the Hogwarts express a few weeks ago, he even thinks he loves her. She is best friends with Lily Potter, and thus hangs out with Marauders quite a bit. Which certainly doesn't make things any easier for Sirius. But it wasn't just the fact that she was pretty, and Sirius certainly thought she was, but she was also kind, thoughtful, humble, nice, sweet, and in every other way wonderful. She never wore make-up, she had white-blonde hair that was usualy in a loose braid, pale skin, red lips, and the sweetest smile that made Sirius go absolutely weak at the knees. Her name was Mercy Williams, and in Sirius's eyes, she was perfect.
The only people in the world who knew about Sirius's feelings were James, Peter, and Remus. Sirius had made James promise he would never tell Lily, considering Lily would undoubtedly tell Mercy. None of them could understand why he hadn't asked Mercy out yet, his crush had started more than a year ago. "You don't understand," Sirius would say. "She's so wonderful and serene! She can even make Lily feel calm, for Pete's sake. I'm one of the biggest pranksters that ever walked the earth! Why would she ever go out with anyone like me?" James would sigh and say "Just ask her out and if she says no then at least you'll know!" Sirius would shake his head and continue pacing. "I can't do that, James, If she said no I-I couldn't- I couldn't go on." Peter would look confused and Remus would roll his eyes. Every conversation was just the same. Sirius knew that James was probably right, but James and Lily had both liked each other since their first year at Hogwarts. James mother hadn't left him, James had never felt heartache and pain half as severe as Sirius had.
Sirius knew he should probably just listen to his friends, or at least to Remus and James, since both of them had girlfriends they must know something about the subject. But every time he planned to tell her, as soon as he got close to Mercy, his heart started beating rapidly and he had to sit down his knees felt so weak. And when she smiled at him he knew that if she ever turned him down he wouldn't be able to live.
***********
A/N: Well I hope you liked the start, I don't really know if I do or not. I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. And don't worry, in my opinion this story gets better as it goes along. In the next chapter you'll learn more about Remus's girlfriend and the group in general. Thanks for reading this and please reveiw!
~Eowyn
