Riley moaned deeply as she opened her eyes. At first, she thought someone had smacked her with a two by four. The light in the room stung her eyes like acid, she moaned again.
"Agents… she's waking up." she heard someone call. There was a lot of commotion going on in the distance, but she couldn't register where she was.
"Hey," a female EMT said, examining her eyes with a penlight. Riley scrunched her eyelids a moment, hit by the unexpected glow. "Welcome back to the world."
"Ugh," she muttered. Her hand ran up into her matted curls and felt the bump on her head. The EMT stepped outside, leaving her alone. Riley sat up, probably too soon, swinging her legs around the edge of a gurney. She looked around her. Riley was sitting in the back of an ambulance. Her clothes were filthy and damp; she was wrapped and bandaged, her temple restitched and a roll of gauze covered a roll of stitches on her leg. Everything started flooding back to her. The kidnapping, the accident, leaving her love in the rain to be murdered. "Oh God…"
A figure had moved into the ambulance. Riley was staring at the floor, letting the reality of the situation wash over her. The figure stood next to her until finally, Riley's eyes traveled up and saw a familiar face.
"Aaron!" she cried. Her tears could be damned no longer. Hotch immediately wrapped her in his arms as he sat next to her. She cried lightly into his shoulder.
"It's alright," he said. "You're going to be okay."
She couldn't get a word out, the tears were gushing so fast, and it still hurt terribly to take a breath. She sobbed into his gun vest, clutching the fabric of his sleeve in her fist.
"Spencer?" She finally asked, sitting up to look at Hotch.
He shook his head. "Morgan, Prentiss, and Rossi went into the woods after Engles. They haven't come back yet… we don't know."
More tears spilled from her. "I didn't want to leave him." She sobbed, covering her eyes with her hand. "He's dead… he's dead because of me."
"Riley… you couldn't have stopped him…" he said, brushing her shoulder comfortingly. Hotch, for once, didn't know what else to say. He couldn't give her any absolute truth and no set of comforting words could remotely ease the pain. He tried to look in her eyes, but her hand obstructed her vision as it hid her tears. The feel of more people joining them in the ambulance was sensed. Riley didn't care who they were, she just continued crying.
"I shouldn't have left him…" she wept. "That should be me in that grave. He went through that… because of me. He died because of me… how could I have left him?"
"Because I made you promise." A voice said.
Riley was afraid to look, for fear it was just her imagination. Carefully, after a few seconds, her hand slipped away from her eyes and her tears slowed.
Standing before her, able to stand upright only from the help of his best friend Morgan, stood the bruised and beaten gangly form of Spencer Reid. Fresh blood covered the side of his face and he seemed to have less strength than a house of cards.
But he was alive.
Riley couldn't even speak. In fact, she could barely move. The tears started again as she finally managed to get on her feet. Her arms left Hotch, not even flinching as the weight went onto her bad leg. Riley gaped at him in shock.
He was smiling at her, like he was actually happy to see her. That was the trigger. She began screaming at him hysterically. "Why are you smiling? You shouldn't be smiling! You should be angry! Or upset! Or at least numb! You always have the wrong emotion!"
Reid reached for her, pulling the frantic, injured woman into his arms. Her ranting silenced and she sobbed onto his shoulder, clinging to him. "I'm sorry," her moans muffled by his filthy shirt. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left you. I'm so sorry, Spencer."
All he could do was hold her. Finally.
…
While the ambulance took Reid and Riley to Seattle Mercy, the others took Engles back to the station. His attitude on the way surprised them. He seemed neither nervous nor calm. It was interesting; Engles almost seemed sad.
The station was quiet when they arrived. Morgan directed Engles towards the interrogation area. "You realize you can't prove anything," he muttered as he was brought into the first available room.
"Sit down, Mama's Boy," Morgan pushed their unsub into his seat. He didn't even bother to wait until he settled before he rushed out the door.
"I thought I was going to get to see my mother." He called. "Excuse me!"
The door shut, leaving him alone. His hands were still secure in Morgan's handcuffs. Morgan managed to resist the urge to switch the lights off and leave him in the dark. The last thing they needed was Engles being released because of cruel and unusual punishment. Not particularly cruel, but defense attorneys would use anything to get their clients released.
Hotch and Rossi waited outside. Morgan joined them in their debate to how to go about questioning this man. The problem was Engles was right. The only solid evidence they had on Engles was three counts of kidnapping: Alex, Reid, and Riley. There wasn't a doubt in anyone's mind that he was the Undertaker, but there was no actual proof he committed the murders.
"He's not going confess." Morgan admitted as he joined them. "He knows we know he's not crazy. He'll take this to the grave. And kidnapping is not a capital offense. He'll probably get a minimal sentence, be out in less than a decade and be back at this again in some different city."
"We'll get a confession, Morgan," Hotch assured. "We've done this before; we just need to appeal to him."
"What about his mother?" Rossi suggested. "Engles will do anything to please her. If she were to ask him about it, I'm sure he wouldn't lie."
"I don't think she'd go for that." Hotch said. "Linda Engles will protect her son at all costs. She still thinks he's doing this for spiritual enlightenment."
Morgan had an idea. "Linda Engles is already going to jail for obstructing justice, probably even accessory if we get the right prosecutor. What if we make a deal?"
"Deals won't work, she wants to protect her son. She'll take the death penalty to save her child's life." Corrected Rossi.
"Not a deal with Linda, a deal with Jimmy." Morgan said. Without another thought, he rushed into the interrogation room. Hotch and Rossi, both nervous, went to the two-way mirror to watch. They had faith in Morgan, but both had fears this would be ruined.
Engles sat up, surprised. "I thought you would have left me sitting here for hours." He said.
"It seems like you're pretty acquainted with this procedure." Morgan noticed, taking a seat. "Considering you have a brother in jail, that's not a surprise. And that also makes me think you know what I'm doing in here."
Engles smiled. "You need a confession. You can't prove I did anything. So you want to make me a deal. Don't you need to talk to a DA before you make me a deal?"
"The deal isn't going to benefit you." Morgan pointed. "But instead, unless you admit to what you did, confess to all the murders you committed, whether we know about them or not… your mother is going to go down for this."
Engles looked confused. "My mother didn't do anything. You can't pin this on her."
"No, but your mother loves you. You're her angel, Jimmy." Morgan leaned forward and spoke softly, emphasizing the severity of the situation. "Suppose your mother where to hear me or one of my team talking about the Undertaker, how her angel is the suspect… and if he's convicted, they're going to put a needle in his arm. Unless someone else comes forward and confesses."
Engles gave a disbelieving laugh. "She wouldn't do that."
"You want to test that theory?" Morgan asked. "Because once we have a confession, we'll release you."
"I'll just kill someone else." Engles said. "I'll go after your friends and this time you won't find them."
"We'll just think it's the work of a copycat. I'd hate to lose my friends, but I'll be content in the fact they died bringing a murderer to justice… and when you're going down for their deaths. You'll sit on death row with Mommy knowing she made her sacrifice in vain."
His face was calm, but Engles' fists were clenched, their knuckles pure white. Taking a deep breath, he knew he was backed into a corner. "I'll confess."
Morgan gave a pleased smile. "That's what I thought."
…
Once the severity of the circumstances calmed down and he could think clearly, Reid had a true grasp on his situation. He lay in a hospital bed, in an uncomfortable gown, looking out the blinds of his window. After a series of tests, the doctors concluded he just needed some bandages and a few stitches along with some rest. Reid was assured he could leave the next afternoon. In a few hours, the rain stopped and dawn arrived. Some of his strength having returned, Reid climbed out of bed to get a better look outside. The bright light mixed in with the gray clouds, swirling together. Sunrise was never more beautiful when you believed you would never see the light of day again.
Reid was torn in two different places. He knew what he wanted and it was possibly close enough to touch. But he also knew there was another choice. It was no doubt the smarter plan of action. Could he really be strong enough to do that, give up what he wanted so much? He had been seven months ago.
He wasn't alone for long. At some point another soul had come into the room and stood for some time, observing the man as he observed the dawn.
"Hey," the soft voice said behind him. Reid turned and saw Riley standing there, in a matching wrap-around gown and bare feet. Her legs were bare with the exception of her stitches and her hair was dry and brushed, hanging around her, still frizzy from all the rain.
"Hi," he said, smiling. "You shouldn't be putting weight on your leg like that; you should have a crutch or something."
"I'm fine," she said, walking in. She closed the door behind her, leaning against it a minute. Her breathing still sounded awkward. "How are you? I mean… are you… okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. They stitched my head, there doesn't seem to be any complications." He paused, giving her one more look over. "You?"
She nodded. "Nothing broken. A few bruised ribs, but it seems my leg is the worst of it all."
Reid smiled with relief. "What are you doing here?"
After a slow exhale of breath, she gave a small smile "I… just needed to see you."
"Why, to make sure I didn't rethink it and start hating you?" He asked, teasing her.
She nodded, blushing slightly. "Yes, exactly."
Reid gave a laugh. "I could never hate you." He said.
She moved from the door and walked over to him. Her arms wrapped around him in an embrace. Reid held her close, breathing in her scent. It was unfamiliar; sterile, like the hospital. But it was still her. Reid wanted to kiss her, but he resisted.
"I've been thinking," she said without releasing him.
"About what?" Reid asked.
"About… our conversation in the back of the truck." She said, pulling away. "When we thought we were going to die."
"You're taking back what you said?" He asked.
"No," she assured, placing her hands on the side of his face. She stared directly into his hazel eyes. Her own were sparkling as she beamed. "That's just it, Spencer… I meant what I said. And… I love you."
Reid could barely breathe. "I love you, too."
She smiled, closing her eyes a moment, like her body was soaking in his words. Her eyes opened after a second. She reached up and kissed him. Her fingers slid into his hair, careful not to bother his wound. Reid wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her as close to him for as long as he could. But still he resisted. He couldn't let his own desires get in the way of what he knew was best.
Their lips parted. Riley smiled at him, her eyes shining. "I made a mistake, Spencer. I want to be with you. I love you and I want us to be together. I'm going to talk to the FBI, request a transfer back to Quantico-"
"Riley," Reid cut her off. "Don't do that."
Surprised, it took a moment for her to reply. "Why?"
"Because… I've been thinking about our conversation, too. And I'm thinking about what you said, about… ruining my life…"
Her jaw dropped slightly as she struggled to breathe. "Oh, God, no…" she mumbled. Her eyes began to glisten and he knew tears were on the way.
"Listen to me," he urged. His hands went to her arms to hold her steady, gazing into her eyes. "Listen… I love you. You are… you are it for me. I know that… but you don't. You are the one with doubts. And those feelings… they may be gone now, but I know they'll come back." He had to take a pause. His voice was beginning to quiver and he didn't want to start crying. "When you left… I thought eventually you would come back to me-"
"I am!" She cried. "I'm coming back now!"
"Because you're feeling vulnerable right now." Reid pointed out. "But you're not going to stay that way… Riley, what am I supposed to do? I can't almost kill you every four months just to hang on to you."
She didn't say anything, and Reid was thankful. He continued. "Letting you go was the hardest thing I ever had to do… I don't think I could do it again." He shook his head, looking away from her eyes. "I'm sorry… we can't be together."
He had expected her to argue. He had hoped she'd argue, but she didn't. The light left her eyes as she gave in. Her hands left his hair and slid to the sides of his face. Her thumb brushed his cheek. "I understand," she said softly.
"I am sorry," He said.
"No… you're right." Her voice squeaked. Her eyes closed as she let a few tears leak out.
"I do love you," he said.
"I love you, too." Riley whispered. Her eyes opened, her pupils dancing around, avoiding his gaze. She was so close to him; Reid felt and savored every breath on his face. "I uh… I wish I had something beautiful and brilliant to say… but I don't, so… I'm going to go."
Reid leaned down and kissed her. It was quick, like two people so accustomed with each other and were simply saying goodbye for an afternoon.
Her hands remained on him another moment. Finally, without any kind of goodbye, Riley turned and quickly left the room. Reid stood alone, watching as the door closed him inside. "I told you so," he muttered and turned back to the window.
