Mine

Trowa's POV

"Little one, you go on ahead.  I'll catch up in a minute," I add on quickly at my koi's skeptical look.  I need to think, and I can't risk his innocence by letting him into these thoughts now.  His golden light can't be tainted by the darkness which surrounds me.  The darkness which has surrounded me since the day one person changed into the sadist I now see when I look at him, when even a picture of him comes my way.

Quatre's beautiful face contorts in a frown, and I inwardly wince at causing his unhappiness. I never want to see him less than happy. He should always be smiling and laughing.  But, I know in the long run it'll be better for my little golden one. I love him so much.

"But..." he begins to protest, but seeing the look in my eyes, he decides not to argue, for once. "Fine.  But you have to promise you'll come back to the house soon!  Ok, Tro-chan?" he asks, pleading, trying to find something to make me hold onto. Is he so scared I'll leave him? His cerulean eyes catch me and make me bite off my next remark.  I nod, a gentle smile forming on my lips, and he grins in return as he dashes off to prepare the party.

"Heero Yuy."  Two words.  What do they mean?  Not much.  Only a name of a person.  Only a bunch of letters stuck together and given to a person. So why do those two words make such a difference in my life?

"Heero Yuy," I repeat, trying to find something within the way I speak them, the way those words almost seem to trail off into nothingness.  Those two words are only a name of a person I'd once cared for, the person to whom I'd once given my heart away.  But I had another to care for now.  So why did those words come back to haunt me?

What was I missing?  What words came after the name of the one person I truly could hate?  The one person whose betrayal was still fresh upon my soul?  The first person I loved? The first person who allowed me to trust? Words were only words, but there was so much I wanted to say, but could not.  My words were trapped in silence, the silence created by too many years of fear and war. My words were trapped in fear, the fear that there was truly something in those words I could find. "Heero Yuy... This time, as before, you will lose."

There.  That's been said.  Now all I have to do is wait for the answer.

This Christmas, Heero shall come here.  To Quatre's mansion.  And I will be waiting for him.

But is that what I really wanted to say?

Duo's POV

I wake up to find myself alone in the garage again, and swear under my breath.  This can't go on any longer.  He's killing my soul.  Soon I won't be able to feel anything, soon I'll just be a body, the part that makes me Duo Maxwell will be gone.

WHY THE HELL AM I THE ONE WHO HAS TO PUT UP WITH THIS? I ask myself, pulling myself to an upright position,trying to keep from moaning in pain, but failing miserably. Heero... did you do this to Trowa too?  Is this why he left you? I have to wonder as I struggle to my feet, cursing as I almost collapse again.

The floor swims beneath me, a sea of gray and black, and I gasp as I try to hang onto consciousness, unwilling to fall into the darkness I've only just come back from.  But then, darkness always surrounds me, ever since this started. Oh god, not again... I lean against the wall, trying to catch my breath and stagger towards the door which seems so far away.

A voice cuts through the air, bringing all my senses back into awareness with a sudden, sharp quality.  The quality brought on by fear.  "So.  You're up," Heero's words whip through the air, his voice bored and cruel, his sharp tongue cutting at my tender heart.  "It's about time.  I didn't expect you to sleep half the day away, Duo."

"He-Heero..." I stammer, trying to figure out where he is in the darkened room. It's impossible to locate anything in a large room with only one light, and I wonder if that's not why he decorated it like this.  You can't escape from something you can't see, you can't run to a place you're not sure is safe. Not again...

"You can stop worrying.  I'm going out.  I expect you to stay here and clean yourself up, Duo.  We're expected at Quatre's in a few days," Heero curtly informs me, walking out of the room to who the hell knows where.

I hear the door open and close, waiting for a good thirty seconds before I let out the breath I'd been holding.  So it's true!  We are going to see Quatre, Trowa and WuFei!  Finally I'll get to ask Trowa what really had happened... but do I really want the answer?

Quatre's POV

Something's wrong with Trowa.  Why can't he tell me? Why can't he trust me?

It's so frustrating sometimes.  I'm only trying to help him, but he keeps shoving my efforts away.  If I asked him why he was doing this, he'd probably say he's protecting me, but I want to protect him too! Just because I'm the most pacifistic of all of us doesn't mean I need to be so carefully treated. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not made of glass, and I won't shatter the moment something goes wrong.

I sent Rashid out to help gather information on what could be causing this in Trowa, and he hasn't returned yet.  I'm getting worried something might have happened to him, making him reluctant to return.

But what information could he find that's so horrible he wouldn't want to tell me?  Oh well.  I'll find out soon enough.  If Rashid doesn't find anything, I can always ask the other pilots if they know anything about Trowa.  There has to be something out there, somewhere. Something which can help my koibito.

I see a few of my Maganaucs running towards me, worried expressions gracing their faces, a somber note hanging in the air, tinged with the faint edge of fear.  "Abdul, what's wrong?" I ask as he comes to a stop before me. Something in the air has changed, creating a charge of energy.

"Master Quatre..." he gasps, exhausted from more than just the run.  But what might have, or could've scared him so much?  The look on his face tells me nothing except he's very worried about something.  "Hurry... Rashid's back.  He's badly injured, but won't go anywhere until he speaks to you!" Abdul's sunglasses are gone from his face, his fez is askew, and he seems so terrified of something.

I nod and run back to the house, not pausing to close the door behind me as I dash inside. What could make Abdul so afraid?

I enter the main hall and gasp at the horrific sight that awaits me there. Oh, Allah... I gasp in my mind.  "Ra-Rashid!"



Whatever will happen next, and what the hell did I do to Rashid? *evil smile* Wouldn't you like to know?