RavenZERO: "Okay, and now for something totally different and completely pointless…"
Liquid Snake: You may remember them from such a fic as "Final Fantasy 7 ½"…they are (he shudders involuntarily)…they are…(jumps into a corner and starts cowering).
RavenZERO: "Hey, hey, chill man! I'll do the disclaimer!"
Liquid Snake: (still shivering) "Yeah…t-t-thanks…"
RavenZERO: "Okay, uh, we don't own jack, so don't sue us! Especially, ME! (I'm the poorer one) Anyway, the only thing I own is my organoid, Streak."
Liquid Snake: "Oh yeah! And, um, we do own the censors, so but out!!"
Both: "And now…we welcome you to the insanity that is…The Censor Wars"
The Censor WarsWritten and developed by RavenZERO and Liquid Snake
At a home in suburbia, in some random part of the country…RavenZERO (hereby known as "Raven" or "ZERO"): "Dude, what should we write now?"
Liquid Snake (hereby known as "Liquid"): "I dunno…(censored)! I can't (censored) think of anything to (censored) write!
Raven: (looking confused) "Dude, repeat what you just said?"
Liquid: (looking equally confused and a little angry) "I SAID, I can't (censored) think of anything to (censored) write!"
Raven: "Liquid, what the hell's up with your voice?"
Liquid: "What the (censored) are you talking about?"
Raven: "Your speech! Whenever you say the word (censored), your mouth gets all pixilated…"
Liquid: "Sh-"
Mysterious Voice: Hey! You two! Stop this vulgarity this instant!
Both: What the (censored)?!
MV (Jumps down from the ceiling, flashing a badge that says "U.S Censorship Board"): "Cease this vulgar activity immediately!"
Raven: "Fluck you, bitch!"
Censor (Takes out a gun, and points it at Raven): RavenZERO, you have been charged with illegal swearing in the first degree! You have the right to remain silent! Anything you say-"
(His sentence is interrupted as Raven blows the Censor's head off with a sawed-off shotgun.)
Liquid: "Raven! What the fuck is wrong with you?! You blew his fuckin' head off!!"
Raven: "What? Is that a bad thing?"
Liquid: "Well yes and no…no in the sense that he's dead! BWHAHAHAHAHA!"
Raven: "Yes, BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OW!"
Liquid (Smacks Raven on the head with a SOCOM pistol): "Don't you get it?! They're gonna just send more censors over here!"
Raven (getting an evil glint in his eyes): "Which means…we could go right to the source…"
Liquid: "Oh, shit…"
Raven (whistling first): "Come to me, Streak!"
(Raven's organoid, Streak, suddenly appears ((Looks like a cross between Zeke and Shadow)))
Steak: "Wazzup?!" (Yes, it speaks English…it's a special organoid, OK?!!)
Raven: "Streak, get the Blade Liger ready…me and Liquid are paying Washington a visit…"
Streak: "Aye aye!"
(It runs off to prep Raven's Blade Liger.)
Liquid: "Dude, how the hell am I gonna get there?!"
Raven (smirking like no tomorrow): "Don't worry about that…I managed to get my hands on a Metal Gear RAY for ya…"
Liquid: "Sweet!!!"
(Liquid runs off to Raven's garage to find a black painted Blade Liger and a black painted Metal Gear RAY with the Sub Command Logo ((2 torpedoes crossed with "We hide with pride" written underneath it)) on its side.)
Raven (Jumping into his Blade Liger, and jacks up the stereo to play "Rock The Casbah"): "Okay, ready, Streak?"
Streak: "Aye aye, Cap'n Raven!"
Liquid (Over the comm.): "Let's go kick some Republican ass!"
Raven: "Damn straight!!"
(Liquid powers up RAY, and Raven runs his Blade Liger out of the garage and toward Washington D.C. The house remains silent for a second, and then…)
Raven's Mom: "Hey, keep it down, you two!!! Some people are trying to work, here!!!"
We're sorry! There wasn't much humor in this one! Sorry!! More, after these messages…BEEP!
