Chapter 5: "I Hate Spiders"
Later that afternoon, Harry found Frodo and Sam sitting on the front lawn of Hogwarts, lazily blowing smoke-rings. "I see your plan for early discharge from Hospital worked," grinned Harry.
"Yes, indeed," Frodo replied. "The pipe-weed did the trick. We were thrown out immediately. Although I fear I've made an enemy of Madame Pomfrey. I suppose I should not go riding about on broomsticks any time soon!" Harry winced; then seeing Frodo's face, laughed.
"I'm sure you two are looking forward to an evening of dinner with ever- refilling plates, but I wanted to tell you that we're invited to dine tonight with a good friend of ours. His house is on the grounds."
Frodo puffed on his pipe. "We would be delighted." Harry nodded and went on his way.
Frodo closed his eyes and leaned back on the lawn. The crisp morning had given way to a pleasant, Indian summer afternoon. The sun warmed his face and his feet. "I am content, Sam," he said, eyes still closed. "I know I should not be, for our Quest may still lie ahead. But in truth, I welcome this reprieve. Put away in this locket, the Ring seems light. Indeed, I hardly feel it."
"As I've said, feels a bit like Rivendell. Leastways the food and the bedding," added Sam.
"And the company," said Frodo. "These children are the descendants of Elves, after all." Frodo opened his eyes. "I feel that great temptation again. To stop here, I mean. Not to go on. To leave the Ring to others."
"Well, we do seem to be stuck here for now, Mr. Frodo," said Sam. "Nowhere to go. No choices to make except for what to eat. But you know that wherever you go in the end, I will go too."
Frodo couldn't say anything for a little while. Then—"Of course, if we stayed here, that would mean never seeing the Shire again. Not that we would see it again anyway, even if we resumed the Quest."
Sam sat up on his elbows and gazed at Frodo. "One way to find out, sir."
"What do you mean?" asked Frodo, puzzled.
"Miss Hermione, last night when we ran into her," said Sam. "She said something about a 'Red Book.' Said she'd read about hobbits. Seemed to know your name. I reckon this might be the same Red Book your uncle Bilbo was working on. Maybe we could take a peek, see what's in store for us, if you follow me."
That evening, Frodo and Sam met up with Harry, Ron and Hermione. They walked down the grounds and approached a stone cottage. Sam chatted merrily with Ron; suddenly he looked up and froze. "Giant!" he cried. "Giant! Run! He'll eat us! Save yourselves! Frodo!"
"Oooooh, honestly!" called Hermione, reproachfully. "There's no need to be rude, Sam! This is Hagrid. He's our groundskeeper and professor." By that time, Frodo and Sam had put a significant distance between themselves and Hagrid. They came trotting back, apologetically.
"'Ere, don't worry," said Hagrid, extending a large hand. "I'm no giant. Not a full giant, leastways. Not going to eat you. Come inside."
Ron turned to the Hobbits, "When Hagrid said he wanted to have you for dinner, he didn't mean he really wanted to Have You For Dinner!"
"That's enough, Ron," said Hermione.
"Anyway, the likes of you wouldn't be more than a mouthful for Hagrid…"
"RON!!"
Hagrid, from the Hobbit point of view, proved to be a gracious host, but an poor cook. They were happy to have had their full complement of hobbit meals that day (five). The ambience left something to be desired as well, as three astonishingly large spiders decided to intrude upon dessert.
"I hate spiders," said Ron, cringing. Sam reached forward and picked one of them up off the table. It was as big as his palm. He presented it to Ron, doubtless thinking Ron would appreciate a closer look. He did not. "Get it away from me!"
"It's not that big," said Sam. "Nothing to be afraid of, not for a big man-child like yourself. Now Mr. Frodo's uncle Bilbo, he ran into some really big spiders in dark Mirkwood forest. Slew them single-handedly, he did."
"Oh, we have some really big spiders here in the Enchanted Forest, if you'd like to see them," said Harry.
"We shall take your word for it," said Frodo quickly. Hagrid opened the window and lightly tossed the spiders out. "What course do you teach at Hogwarts, Hagrid?"
"Care of Magical Creatures," Hagrid replied.
"Magical creatures?" asked Sam. "What sort of magical creatures? Any oliphaunts?"
"No, no oliphaunts. Not after what happened last time," said Hagrid sadly. "Flubberworms, grindylows, hippogryffs, manticores, unicorns, blast-ended scroots…"
"Unicorns!" Sam cried. "I'd love to see a unicorn."
"There's one out back," Hagrid said. "But he won't let you get too close, I expect." They all went outside. To Hagrid's surprise, the unicorn not only allowed Sam to approach, but also bowed its head and actually nuzzled him. "Odd," said Hagrid. "Fully-grown unicorns generally won't let a young man like yourself come near them."
"But I am not a Man," said Sam.
The company returned to the Gryffindor common room in high spirits. They were greeted by the Weasley twins.
"Sam and Frodo, meet my brothers, Fred and George," said Ron.
"Oh, hullo," said Fred.
"So you're the new Gryffindors. Frodo is it?" asked George. "You must be the one all the first-year girls are in love with."
"Can't see why," added Fred.
"I…" started Frodo.
"Back from dinner with Hagrid?" asked Fred.
"Delicious, no doubt," said George.
"Still hungry?" Fred asked.
"Maybe a little bit," admitted Sam.
"We've got just the thing! Have a canary cream," offered George.
"No, don't!" Harry interrupted.
"Why not?" asked Frodo, eyeing the succulent pastry.
"Because it'll turn you into a molting fowl," said Neville Longbottom, in a manner indicating long experience.
"Oh, you're no fun at all!" cried Fred.
"Really pathetic," added George.
"This is Neville," said Ron.
"We've met," Frodo said. He and Sam had found Neville standing outside the Fat Lady earlier that day, unable to recall the password.
"Here, try these if you're still hungry," offered Harry. "They're Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans."
"Every flavor? What flavor is this?" asked Frodo, pulling a bean from the offered package.
"Oh, that one," said Harry. "I don't really know; it tastes good, even makes you feel good all over. But I've never been able to identify it."
Frodo tasted it and his eyes went wide. "Lembas!"
