Disclaimer: See chapter 1, 6, or 11.

PART 14

(October 2001)

Willow walked through the empty hallway like a prisoner to the electric chair. She had decided to tell Tara the complete truth about her and William, and she didn't think Tara would be able to forgive her, so she felt like this was the beginning of the end.

She stopped in front of the familiar door and raised her hand to knock. Tara had given her a key, but under the circumstances, she didn't want to use it.

A wide awake and alert Tara answered the door only seconds after Willow knocked. Her eyes went wide when she took in Willow's tired face, and the cast on her arm.

"Willow. Are you all right?" She ushered her girlfriend in, shutting the door behind her.

Willow sat down on the edge of the bed with Tara beside her and smiled tremulously. "I'm sorry I didn't come over earlier. I should've at least called."

Tara smiled reassuringly. "It's okay." Her eyes fell to the stark white cast on Willow's arm. "You had a huge excuse."

Willow shook her head, upset with Tara for being so understanding and forgiving. "But, no, see I had plenty of time, and I didn't call you. It's unforgivable."

Tara's brow furrowed at Willow's self flagellation and she leaned forward, kissing her tenderly. "It's okay. I forgive you."

Willow started to cry, and she damned the spell for having failed on her. "You won't when I tell you the rest." She sniffled pitifully. "I have something to tell you... and it's gonna be hard to explain, but-- I went back in time," she blurted out.

Tara's response was something that Willow never would have expected in a million years. "I know. I sent you there."

Willow shot to her feet. "What? You know? You sent me-- what? Why?" She sank back down on the bed and stared at her girlfriend.

Tara looked down at her folded hands, and whispered, "I'm sorry, Willow, I thought what I was doing was right. But-- but, everything went wrong. It wasn't supposed to be like this."

"What do you mean? Why did you do it? Oh, my God... the demon--"

"No," Tara said loudly. Realizing she was almost shouting, she spoke more quietly. "No, I didn't know about the demon until S-- Spike told me. It was a coincidence, that's all." She shook her head sadly. "When I saw--" seeing Willow's confused look, she started over. "A week before Buffy and Xander... died, I did a spell. To see auras."

"Can't you already see them? I mean, isn't that how you knew Buffy wasn't Buffy when she was Faith?"

Tara nodded. "To a point. I can sort of see a..." she tilted her head to the side, trying to find the right words. "It's hard to explain. I see a distortion, if I really concentrate. But, I wanted to see colors, moods, you know, just for fun."

Willow nodded in understanding. She too liked to play with magick at times, though she hadn't told anyone except Tara, and sometimes not even her. "What did you see?" she asked.

Tara frowned momentarily, before her face smoothed out again. "Do you remember when we were at the Bronze? Um, all of us were there. And Spike."

Willow thought back, and her eyes widened. "I remember. Every time Spike came near us you got all," she fluttered her good hand in front of her. "Wiggy."

"Yeah, 'cause, he had this weird colored aura. It was sort of light gray. Meaning he's not completely evil. White is pure, black is evil. He's got more goodness in him than evil, but that isn't what was so strange."

Willow leaned forward slightly. "I always knew there was something different about him."

"The weird thing was watching his aura changing colors whenever someone went near him." Tara smiled in remembrance. "With Xander, Spike's aura went darker, just a bit. I think he liked Xander, but Xander made him mad. A lot."

Willow giggled. "Xander was good at that. What about Buffy? I'll bet it turned red, for love, huh?"

Tara half nodded and half shook her head. "Um, when Buffy was around it kind of went multicolored. She made him feel a whole range of things, I think." She stood up and went to her bookshelf, pulling out one of the larger tomes there. "It says here," she mumbled, flipping through the pages until she found the one she wanted, "that red is love, and pink is friendship, and yellow is sort of lust, and all of those colors were there whenever Buffy went near him, and some black. It turned black when she insulted him, or, um, went near you."

Willow's eyebrows rose in astonishment. "Me? Why?" And then a thought struck her. "He hates me, doesn't he?" she whispered, "That's why you wigged every time he came near us." Standing up, she turned away from Tara, and toward the window. She went over to it, opening it with a sniffle.

Tara moved behind her, softly caressing her back. "No, no, it doesn't mean that. He doesn't hate you. See, that's what I thought too, but it doesn't mean that."

Willow turned in her arms, letting Tara hold her, seeking comfort where she didn't deserve it.

"His aura turned bright red whenever he was near you. That's what scared me so much."

Willow pulled away, staring into Tara's sad face. "Red? But... how? He doesn't even like me. He-- he bit me," she whispered, lifting her hair to show Tara the fresh mark that had recently joined the growing collection on her neck.

Tara's eyes flashed with hurt, but she hid it quickly. Willow saw it anyway. "I'm sorry." Then she remembered that Tara was the reason she'd gone back in time in the first place, causing everything that had happened since. "But-- wait, no I'm not. I'm... angry. At you. Why did you send me back there? Why did Spike's aura make you do that?" She turned back around, staring out the window. She thought she saw someone standing in the shadows below, but nothing moved.

"The book says that bright red like that means soul mates, and I was scared and angry. And hurt," she whispered.

"Soul mates?" Willow scoffed. "Please. Me and Spike are so not soul mates. Buffy and Angel are soul mates. Maybe even Xander and Anya. But me and Spike? Not even a chance." It wasn't possible, was it? No, absolutely not. He didn't even *have* a soul to mate with hers. She just couldn't believe it, wouldn't believe it. But... her curiosity got the best of her, and she had to ask. "Um, what about me? What did you see in my aura?"

"Around me it was light red." She smiled softly. "We've always known each other, sometimes as lovers. Sometimes as friends or family."

Willow smiled back. "Yeah? See, told you I loved you," she smirked. "And everyone else?" She was eager to hear about this, and to understand Tara's reaction. "I bet me and Xander have known each other for thousands of years. And Buffy too. And Giles. Oh, and Anya."

They both laughed and Willow felt somewhat healed again. Like coming home. She grabbed Tara's hand and held on tight, kissing it lightly. They sat in the window, half in and half out, talking quietly.

"Yep. I think we've all known each other for a long, long time. It's kind of freaky if you think about it. Knowing that we've met before, and will meet again... like we aren't in control or something."

"Yeah, it is. So... you've pretty much avoided telling me what my aura looked like around Spike."

Tara took a deep breath, and shrugged. "Bright red. Same as his. You and Spike are soul mates."

Willow shook her head. She couldn't believe this. Her and Spike, soul mates? Forever destined to be together? How did that work with him living through more than his fair share of lifetimes? A giggle escaped her when she thought of what his reaction would be.

He'd probably dust himself.

"Willow. I know you slept with him."

Willow's head snapped up and she stared at Tara. "What? You know? How? Oh, God. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, it just happened. Buffy and Giles were dead, I'd been bitten and shot and then I wasn't here, I was somewhere else, and thinking it might have all been a dream, and then there was Spike, all drunk and demanding, and... I'm sorry. I'm a terrible girlfriend." The tears started again, and Tara wiped them away tenderly.

"I didn't know for sure until just now," she whispered. "It's my fault. I'm the one that sent you there in the first place. I thought maybe if you stopped him from getting caught by the Initiative, then he'd leave town, and not be here anymore."

Willow frowned. "The Initiative? That happened three months before I went back..." a giggle escaped her, and she bit her lip. "You sent me to the wrong time." Another giggle slipped out. "And if I'd kept him from getting chipped we'd probably all be dead now." After the nerve wracking night she'd just had, and finding out that her and Spike were soul mates, coupled with the fact that Tara was the reason she went back in time... to stop her soul mate from being implanted, thereby allowing him to kill them all was a bit much to take all at once. She shook with laughter, and once the laughter started, she couldn't stop it.



Early the next morning, Willow went home. Tara had classes, and Willow wanted to be in her own home. She didn't feel entirely comfortable with Tara anymore, and she could see the same feelings of discomfort in Tara's eyes when she looked at her. They'd spent the night talking, trying to figure out what had gone wrong with the time spell and William's lack of results. They hadn't come to any real conclusions except that things between them had changed, and they weren't sure where to go from there.

When she got home, she knew from the stillness of the house that her parents were still gone. Gosh, what else was new? She wished they were there. Even with everything going on, and Spikes and Williams popping up all over the place, she wished they were here. They probably wouldn't ask too many questions, questions she wasn't prepared to answer, but they would be there for comfort.

She tried to tell herself that she needed time alone to figure things out, because of how screwed up, and confusing her life was right now, but it didn't help. She was starting to have a hard time figuring out what was real, what was fake, what were dreams, and who was who.

She headed upstairs to her room, her feet taking the stairs one slow step at a time. By the time she got to the top, she was half asleep. Yawning widely, she pulled her shirt off, pushed open her bedroom door and dropped onto her bed. She was so tired. Tired of trying to figure out who she was talking to, who she was being bitten by, who she was with. Crawling under the covers, she yawned again, falling asleep almost immediately.



(October 2001)

Willow woke up in a fairly decent mood the next afternoon, despite the fact that she had a broken arm, and her girlfriend was responsible for... well, she just wouldn't go there. Some things were best left not-thought about. And this was one of those things.

After an awkward shower with a plastic bag around her arm, she went downstairs and ate breakfast. Her parents were due back in a few days, according to the message on the machine, so she'd have to clean the place up and come up with an excuse for her arm. That left her with only tonight and the next for demon hunting. She could still search while they were here, but it would be hard to sneak in and out.

Shrugging her bag over her shoulder, she once again headed out, hoping she wouldn't run into... oh, and look. There he was. Just like that first night, only he wasn't walking away from her house, he was walking toward it. Not caring to have a big ole long, involved conversation with the blood-stealing jerk, she locked her front door, slipped her keys in her pocket, and took off toward the first cemetery, hoping he hadn't seen her.

"Willow."

But of course he had.

He ran up behind her, grabbing her unhurt arm. "It's me, um, Past Spike." He waggled his eyebrows, leering at her, "The sexy one you slept with."

Willow sighed, eyeing his red shirt. William still wore the red shirt, Spike didn't. So, this was most likely William. Was she happy about that? Unfortunately, yes.

But, she kept up the pace, entering the cemetery gates with a frustrated sigh. "Who's sending us all around in time, and why?" she asked the silent night sky, then the vampire next to her. "Any idea, William?" She wasn't going to let herself lose control with him this time. Keep him at a distance, and she'd be fine. Be formal.

"Oh, it's William now, is it, love?" He wrapped his arms around her, forcing her to drop her bag of weapons, and pressed her lightly back against the tree behind her.

She nodded, and shrugged out of his embrace, though she didn't want to. "Yeah, and just so your ego doesn't go soaring with the doves, it's something Spike and I came up with to differentiate between you two."

Undaunted, William's hands slid down her arms to entangle with her hands. His touch was so gentle on her broken arm, that she didn't even wince. He held them against the tree above her head and nipped at her neck softly, causing shivers of desire to snake through her. "And what about you, love? What do I call the other you?"

Willow's eyes slid shut at the feel of him pressed up against her, and his husky voice in her ear. She should be stopping him, not standing there like a more than willing participant.

Her tongue darted out to wet suddenly dry lips, and she opened her mouth to tell him to leave her alone. "Robin," was what came out in a whisper.

Weakling, she berated herself.

Feeling him move away from her neck, she opened her eyes. His mouth hovered above hers. She waited breathlessly for his lips to touch her, but they didn't. He stayed that way, watching her. She held herself still, fighting against every nerve ending in her body that was screaming at her to push him to the ground and touch every inch of his gorgeous body. Why was it that every time she and William got together they ended up all over each other?

Well, not this time, she vowed, pulling her hands away from his and straightening her clothes. He let her go, but didn't move. They stood there watching each other, and then as suddenly as a vampire turns to dust, William's mouth was on hers, and she was moaning with pleasure.

"Stop," she whispered, sliding her unencumbered hand under his shirt, and down below the waistband of his jeans.

"Yeah, any second now," he mumbled, settling one of his legs between her thighs.

She held him to her, delighting in the feel of his erection pressing against her. His cool skin under her hands tensed when she bit his lip, gently tugging on the flesh. He pulled back to grin at her. Her giggle turned into a squeal when he scraped his blunt teeth along her neck, making her shiver. God, who knew vampires could be so erotic?

Suddenly, there was empty air where William had been. Her eyes flew open just in time to see Spike let go of William's duster. He shoved his younger twin away from him, and was about to punch him when Willow found her voice.

"Spike, don't!"

He turned to her in surprise. "Willow?" His glare turned back to William, but his question was directed at her. "Did he hurt you?"

Willow joined the two of them, pushing William away from Spike and standing in front of him. "Don't touch him, Spike, if you do--"

Spike's eyes narrowed at her, and he took a step closer. "Don't threaten me," he told her, his voice cold.

William pushed Willow out of the way. "Don't touch her."

Willow grabbed Spike's arm desperately. "Stop it. You can't--"

Too late. Spike swung at William, and landed a punch on his jaw. As soon as their flesh touched, they were thrown a good ten feet away from each other. Willow ran to Spike first, checking to see if he was all right. He was sitting up slowly, staring across the distance between him and William, a strange look on his face.

"Are you okay?" she asked him. "I tried to warn you, you doof."

Spike leaned back against one of the headstones. He bent his legs at the knee, resting his forearms on them, and letting his head hang between them. "I'm fine."

Willow looked over at William to see him in the same position as Spike. She joined him, kneeling by his side. He raised his head and looked at her.

She sighed. "You all right?"

"Peachy," he told her, a small smile lighting his lips. His eyes darted to Spike, who was watching them closely. "What was that?" he asked.

"No two people can occupy the same space at the same time. Law of physics. I always wondered if that was true. And what would happen if they did."

He was shaking his head. "Not that, love. The--"

"Willow, come here," Spike ordered her.

"I've always had a problem with obeying orders," she told William in a low voice, crossing her arms over chest.

William laughed, and got to his feet, helping her up. "I'll remember that."

Spike stared at Willow intently. "Come here."

The seriousness in his eyes caught her attention, and she started over. "What?"

William grabbed her hand, pulling her back to him. "Bloody ponce is jealous," he told her, then yelled across the clearing to Spike, "just because your bitch is dead doesn't mean you can have mine."

Willow yanked her hand out of William's grip. "Don't talk about Buffy like that. Ever." Unsure of what was going on with the two of them, Willow decided to play it safe and join Spike.

Spike actually breathed a sigh of relief when she walked away from his counterpart, and stood next to him.

"What's with the orders? A simple, polite request would have sufficed, you know." He grabbed her by her cast, pulling her toward him. She gasped in pain. "Ow." When he didn't let her go, Willow cleared her throat and tried again. "Ow," she said pointedly.

If anything, his grip actually tightened. She once again found herself having to yank her arm out of someone's grip. He let her go, just as William had, but stepped in front of her. There's that damn protecting thing again. And from himself, no less.

"Um, Spike. Hello. He can't hurt me, remember?" She tried hard not to sound like she was talking to a child, but it came out that way anyway.

"Run," he bit out.

Willow sucked in a breath, tossing a quick glance at William. "You think he's the shapeshifter? I'm pretty sure he's not."

"No, Willow. Just run. Now." He shoved her away from him, hard. She fell to the ground, landing on her hands and knees. She heard Spike curse behind her, and felt him pick her up, setting her back on her feet. "Go," he barked. "Get the bloody hell out of this cemetery unless you feel like being a meal." He morphed his face and stalked toward her, his eyes feral and cruel.

"The chip," she whispered. "It's gone." He'd hurt her a couple of times since his and William's impromptu touching session. Her wrist, then throwing her to the ground. But she'd been too stupid to get it, and now it might be too late. Spike was advancing on her, looking for all the world like he wanted to kill her. She backed away slowly, tossing a quick glance over his shoulder at William. He was also in game face, but he wasn't watching her. His eyes were fixed on Spike as he stalked toward Willow.

She turned and ran, hearing quick footsteps behind her. An arm snaked around her waist after only a few yards, and she screamed, terrified, as she was hauled back against a hard chest. She kicked and hit at him, trying to get him to drop her. He held on tight though, and swung her around, landing a punch to her jaw. She sagged against him, blacking out a second later.



(October 2000)

When Willow woke up, she found herself in her own bed, alone. Her jaw throbbed painfully. Her mouth felt like the Sahara, her eyes like they had dunes in them, and her head like it was stuffed full of sand. She held herself still for a few minutes, willing the aches and pains to go away, when they didn't, she did a small healing spell, and waited. She didn't know what had happened last night after one of the Spike's punched her, but she intended to find out as soon as she could.

Ten minutes later, she was in the shower, washing away the dirt and soreness from her body. The hot water sluiced over her body, energizing her, making her feel alive again. She wanted to spend all day in there, but answers were needed, and she wouldn't find them here. She wasn't sure where she would find them, but she was pretty sure Spike would be a good start.

Wasn't he always?

She dried off quickly, combed her hair, dressed in a pair of faded blue jeans, and a white tank top, with no shoes. Feeling a little less sore, and a lot more refreshed, she finally headed downstairs. Spike, she knew, was in the house somewhere. She'd heard him before she jumped into the shower. She'd wanted to go straight to him and demand answers, but the horrid condition she was in demanded immediate attention.

An all too often occurrence.

Rounding the corner, Willow ran straight into him. "Spike. Just the demon I wanted to see. What happened last night?"

Spike, dressed in his usual black on black, minus the duster, looked ready to bolt. If the sun hadn't been shining, she was sure he would have. Her curiosity went up a notch. She couldn't remember anything that had happened after being punched, but apparently something big had gone down.

"Well?" she prompted, when he remained silent.

He leaned sideways against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest, trying very hard to look casual, but she wasn't buying it. "You don't remember?" His voice was steady, normal, his eyes not quite landing on hers.

"No, that would be why I'm asking you. You were there." It wasn't a question.

He nodded slowly. "I was. What do you remember?"

"You and William fighting. Then one of you hit me. After that, nothing." She went past him, into the kitchen. She poured herself a glass of orange juice and drank it down. "This loss of memory thing is getting old. Thought, this time I was unconscious, therefore, not having memories of that time is probably normal." She saw him watching her, his eyes wary. Oh, boy. "What'd you do?" she asked.

"What makes you think I did anything?" he scoffed. "Maybe you did something. Ever think of that?"

Truthfully, she hadn't thought of that. But why should she? He was the one acting all nervous and guilty. Of course, maybe she'd done something to make him nervous. Her eyes went wide. What if she'd mistaken him for William and jumped him? That would certainly account for his wary looks.

She groaned loudly, not sure she wanted to know. "What'd I do?"

Spike chuckled deeply, and Willow cursed him silently for being able to affect her so much by doing so little. "Nothing. But it was fun watching you squirm." He sat down at the kitchen table, a mug of blood in front of him.

Willow poured another glass of orange juice before sitting down across from him. This was getting to be all too familiar. Ignoring the way it made her feel, she lifted tired eyes to Spike. "Just tell me what happened. I feel like I'm going nuts. All this time travel and people who aren't who they look like, my friends are all dead. I've come to accept that it's not going to change anything no matter what William tries, and now something was done to me and I wasn't awake for it. Getting some scary vibes here, Spike." She spoke earnestly, "I just want it all to end. I'm exhausted from trying to figure things out. So... what happened?"

Spike stretched back in his usual pose. "Nothing happened. William came here somehow, but you already know that. You ran into him on patrol." His eyes pinned her to her seat. "A patrol you weren't supposed to be on, Willow. You could've gotten killed."

"By William?" she asked incredulously. "He wouldn't kill me." Suddenly unsure, she whispered, "Would he?"

Spike shrugged. "I don't know, he's not me anymore. He's changed so much that I don't know what he'd do. I wanted to kill you for a long time." He grinned shamefacedly. "I think I stopped wanting to kill all of you right after we fought Adam."

"Some of us fought Adam," she pointed out, "while some of us fought *with* Adam."

Spike nodded, waving his hand dismissively. "Yeah, whatever. Point is, William doesn't seem to want to kill you, but I couldn't tell you for sure. I think he's a bit obsessed with you. But, I'm sure you have no idea why."

Willow sat back. "Obsessed? With me? See, no, 'cause, 'obsessed' and 'me', don't go in the same sentence together. Unless it's me obsessed with something. Or someone. Like Xander. I was obsessed with him for pretty much my whole life."

Spike rolled his eyes and sat forward. "Willow, listen to me, for once in your life. Stay away from William. He's dangerous."

"Yeah, he might nibble me to death," she chuckled, but the chuckle died in her throat at the images that came to mind. Not a bad way to go. "Spike, you never hurt me, so how could he?"

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "The chip is gone. Malfunctioning. I'm not sure what happened. When I ran into him, I thought he was attacking someone. That someone turned out to be you."

The implant was gone? But how? When? Had William been attacking her? Her voice only shook a little when she spoke. "He attacked me?"

"No, not in the, 'I want you dead' kind of way."

"But you said-- what way then?" She was still trying to get her mind around the fact that their implants were gone. Was he going to kill her? He said he didn't want to anymore, but something had happened last night.

"It was more in the, 'I want you' way."

Lost in thought, Willow didn't hear everything Spike said, only part of it. Her eyes snapped to his. Had Spike just said he wanted her? No, she must have only heard part of it. He probably said he wanted her to do something. That had to be it.

"Um, what?"