Disclaimer: See part 1, 6, or 11.
PART 15
(October 2001)
Later that night, after Spike left to get more blood at Willy's, Willow grabbed her spell books and headed downstairs for something to eat. Things between her and Spike were almost like they used to be. She couldn't hold a grudge forever, and all he'd done is take her blood, and okay, that was really bad, but she didn't like being angry with him.
Didn't like him not being around. She missed him when he wasn't there. He'd promised never to do it again, and though she wasn't about to believe him, she wasn't going to lose him over this. She'd just have to be more careful around him.
And definitely not sleep in the same bed anymore.
Which brought her to William, and where he'd spent the night. She wasn't too inclined to worry about him, since he'd punched her in the face last night, but she did care, and she did worry.
She fixed herself a frozen dinner and went through her books while she ate. Spike had told her earlier that William hit her because she wouldn't stop screaming and struggling, and he was afraid she'd hurt herself. He also hadn't realized until then that the implant was no longer working. He'd hit her harder than he'd intended.
That's what Spike said anyway.
She thought she believed him, since he pretty much hated himself now, and most likely wouldn't lie about it, but it didn't make it any easier to take. William had hit her without a second thought. What was to keep him from killing her? Not a damn thing.
Well, she was through being pushed around and taken advantage of. It was time for action. Time to find and kill a demon.
Not a William, or Spike demon, but a shape-shifting one. The kind that liked to kill her friends and leave her for dead... well, that too could be Spike, but not this time. Thankfully, and hopefully, never again.
Maybe afterwards she could find the spell Tara used and go back to fix things if they weren't already fixed.
She flipped through the pages, past love, money, and revenge spells, but came up empty. Closing that book, she picked up another one and found something she hadn't been looking for.
A shot of excitement went through her.
This had to be the reason the past hadn't changed. A Dampening spell. It was obvious. Something, or someone--probably the shapeshifter--was dampening the changes William had made, and that's why they weren't seeing the results.
With a short, excited yell, Willow ran upstairs for the ingredients to counteract the spell. She had everything on hand, except for the blood of the one who'd cast the Dampening spell. Damn it. Where was she going to get that? And if she got close enough to get blood from whatever it was, she would most likely just kill it. That would take care of the Dampening spell, wouldn't it? Why were things in the magick department always so complicated?
Deflated, Willow collapsed back into the kitchen chair. Back to her original idea. A demon locating spell. That was easy enough to find. And this time, she had everything she needed. Four white candles, a necklace, and a map of Sunnydale. Simple.
Spreading the map on the kitchen table, she set the candles down, one in each direction, and lit them. Holding the necklace above the map, she concentrated on what she wanted to find. The necklace started to swing in circles, wider and wider, until it got to an area just outside of its reach, then it swung back and forth. Willow moved the necklace in that direction and it stopped moving completely when it got to the cemetery where Spike lived.
Gathering the bag she'd been keeping stocked with weapons, Willow blew out the candles and ran out the door. She dashed across town in record time, making it to Spike's cemetery, panting and out of breath. Her stake was out and at the ready as she went through the gates, keeping an eye out for... anyone that looked like they didn't belong.
Or Spike.
Willow saw him heading in her direction, and ducked behind a brick gate post, watching him approach. He'd probably grab her by the arm and forcibly drag her back to the house if he saw her. Best to stay hidden.
Black jeans. Black T-Shirt. Duster. It was one of the real ones. She sighed and waited for him to leave before continuing her search. He stopped at the entrance, and dug out a cigarette, lighting it with extreme slowness.
"Looking for me?" he asked, looking straight ahead.
Willow stepped out from behind the post with another sigh. "Not unless you're a shape-shifting demon."
He turned to face her, and she was surprised to see the angry tilt to his lips, and the glint of steel in his eyes. "Rather fickle, aren't you? Never quite satisfied with the one you're with. Nope, not our Willow. She goes from one person to the next, using them until she finds someone else she wants. Gender doesn't even stop her."
Willow stared at him, anger working its way to the surface. What was his problem now? She had better things to do than argue with Spike yet again. She had demon killing to do.
He leaned toward her, his lips twisting into a cruel smirk, his voice soft. "First Oz, then Xander, then back to ole Oz, and when he gets sick of you, you move on to Tara. Is Tara enough to hold your interest for a while? Not a chance!" He grinned when she jumped back, startled. "'Cause then you spot a vampire you just *have* to have. But even he's not enough for you, so you sleep with his future self, then act like it didn't happen. Then you go *back* to the witch. And now you're looking for the shapeshifter. Are you never satisfied, love?"
Unable to believe he was saying these things to her, she slapped his smirking face. What hurt so much, was that he was right. He wasn't saying anything she hadn't already thought to herself since she'd slept with--
Slept with Spike? Future Spike? Her dream... oh, God. No. He'd fed off of her, not had sex with her. No, this was the demon, the shapeshifter, he was lying for his own purposes and none of what he said was real. She tightened her grip on the stake behind her back, and forced a smile to her face.
"Wanna know something, Spike?" she asked softly.
He shrugged. "Not really. I was just on my way out. Be seeing you, pet." He tossed his cigarette at her feet and stomped on it.
Willow grabbed him by the arm and swung the stake around to his chest. His hand grabbed hers just before she plunged the stake into his heart and squeezed her unhurt wrist. She yelled in pain and dropped the stake. Okay, her staking arm was a bit useless at the moment, being in a cast and all, so her left hand was the best she could do, which was pretty pathetic. Still, did he have to make it look so effortless?
And damn it. Why wouldn't this thing leave her alone?
He frowned angrily, his eyes full of fury. "What the hell are you doing? It's not enough to leave them anymore, now you have to kill them?"
Willow avoided the hurt and pain she saw in his blue eyes, because it wasn't real. This wasn't Spike. This was the demon that had killed her friends.
She leaned forward, much the same as he'd done, and whispered, "Go to hell, demon." She kicked him in the crotch and ran toward Spike's crypt, dropping her bag along the way, which was only slowing her down. She dodged around headstones and ducked under low hanging branches. Spike's crypt was just ahead, within reach. Maybe William was there. He was safer than the thing chasing after her. She chanced a glance behind her and was satisfied to see Fake Spike yards behind her.
She slammed into the heavy metal door and shoved it open, swinging it shut behind her, coming to a standstill at the entrance. William wasn't there. Neither was Spike.
The fake one came running through the door a second later. She looked around for a weapon, but there was nothing there except the usual stuff. A nice syringe might've helped, in order to get the blood to stop the spell. She was out of luck on both, and the shapeshifter was most likely not about to just let her go. She was in deep trouble. The last time the shapeshifter had her alone, it'd tried to choke her to death. Before that, it'd given her a nice bite and a crossbow bolt to the shoulder. Not encouraging thoughts.
He shoved the door shut, and leaned back against it. "You're afraid of me," he stated, looking slightly less furious than before.
"Duh," she said derisively, rolling her eyes in annoyance.
He closed his eyes with a tired sigh, before opening them again. "I won't hurt you again. I didn't know--" he stopped, looking like he was at a loss for words. "Look, I was angry. Even after all this time, you're still with Stutter Girl. Yes, the chip's disabled, but I don't want to hurt you. Definitely don't want to kill you. Shaggin', though, that's a different story altogether." He grinned, pushing away from the door. His steps slowly brought him closer to her, even as she backed away.
"You're not William. Not Spike either. So just stop pretending and tell me what you want. I'm sick of all of this. I just want it finished." She crossed her arms over her chest, keeping a wary eye on him.
"I am William. I gave you that bruise on your jaw last night," he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I just gotta say, this is getting too confusing."
Pretty sure he was telling the truth, she nodded, but kept her distance. "Tell me about it. I'm going to get a bunch of those, 'Hello, my name is...' tags and make you and Spike wear them." She backed away from him, not wanting to be near William any more than the demon, at the moment. He'd just chased her through the cemetery, after degrading her, and-- "What was all that about back there? I didn't sleep with Spike. Well, aside from the actual sleep-having kind of sleeping with him. No sex, I mean."
He once again looked furious, but kept his distance. Her emotions were at an all time high right now and adrenaline was pumping through her veins after her mad dash through the cemetery, so she was in no mood to listen to a long story on Spike's evil, jealous ways. From Spike, no less.
"You're the only person I've had sex with in two months." She took a deep breath, letting her anger fuel her. So many things she'd stuffed down, buried deep... now seemed like a good time to get them out. "And what the hell are you so pissed about anyway? I was cheating on my girlfriend with you, so if anyone has any reason to be angry, it's her."
He shook his head, his eyes narrowing at her. "You're still pretending it didn't happen?" His sneer was uncalled for, she thought, definitely not something she was used to seeing from him lately. "When that bloody bastard was carrying you home last night he let it 'slip' that he'd screwed you. Quite thoroughly at that." His eyes fell to the bitemark on her neck. "Took your blood too."
Willow ran her hand along her neck, feeling all the scars there. "That's not true," she whispered, a sudden sinking feeling in her stomach. "I don't remember-- I-- I didn't..."
He took a few steps closer, his voice gentle, his expression soft. "You really don't remember?"
She shook her head in agitation. "No. I had a dream... but it was you, not Spike." She couldn't believe this was happening. She'd slept with Spike. Had sex with her Spike. The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. Spike had taken advantage of her more than she'd thought. Way more.
And he'd pay for that.
William was in front of her now, looking angry. Not at her this time. He pulled her into his arms with a sigh.
"We should go. Just leave Sunnydale, leave Spike, and Stutter Girl, leave it all behind."
Willow smiled against his chest. "You're not from this time, and you'll probably end up disappearing soon, so I don't think--" she stopped suddenly, remembering how she'd gone back in time. "Wait a minute. How'd you get here? And how... Tara didn't do this." She pulled away with a frown.
"Tara. What's she got to do with anything?" He pulled her back into his arms, ignoring her weak tries at pulling away.
Giving up, she stayed exactly where she wanted to be anyway. "She's the reason I went back in the first place. She saw-- something, and she sent me back to keep you from getting captured by the Initiative. She thought..." Willow let her voice drift off, having no idea what to tell him. No way was she going to mention the soul mates thing, because she still didn't believe it herself.
His chest shook with laughter at her confession. "I told you there was something between us, love, even she saw it. She's not as dense as I thought she was." He laughed even harder when she slapped his arm. "So, what, she sent you back to keep us from getting lovey-dovey, and ended up being the reason we got lovey-dovey? That's brilliant. Couldn't have planned it better myself. Remind me to thank her someday."
"Shut up, Spike." She couldn't really fault him for being amused, she herself had laughed long and hard, and rather hysterically, upon finding out what Tara had done. Still, she was entitled. "She thought she saw something, and she wanted to stop it, so she sent me back. Only she screwed up on the time somehow." She pulled away again, and he let her. "Come hunting with me. For the shapeshifter. I found a spell to use on it to stop a spell I think it's using." Sighing heavily, she pulled him out the door with her. "I'll explain on the way."
(October 2001)
Merle didn't like formal meetings, and this was no exception, but tonight's meeting with the Bosses had him smiling, rather than frowning.
The three of them were seated at a large table in front of him, whispering between themselves, casting him occasional distrusting glances. Especially the girl. And still he didn't care, because, they were pleased with him and his work, and he was pleased with himself. He shifted from one foot to the other, wishing there was a chair to sit in, but of course there wasn't, couldn't let the demons get too comfortable.
"Tara thinks she sent Willow back?" the girl asked from her spot on the right side of the table. She tried so hard not to let her distaste of him show, but as always, failed miserably.
He often wondered if it was her blonde hair, always pulled back in a tight bun, that had her in such a constant sour mood. How else could he explain why such a beautiful young woman was so uptight, and down on demons?
"She does," Merle answered, addressing the group as a whole. "She believes--"
"Thank you," the older man in the middle said, barely even bothering to look at Merle when he spoke.
Once again they whispered amongst themselves while he was left to stand there like a puppy waiting for attention. It galled him to no end that he had to go through this same ritual every time they saw him, but the end results were worth it. He had free reign to do whatever he wanted, so long as it helped their plans along. Chaos was what he wanted, and it was what he did best. Hence them calling on his services.
Merle looked up when the middle guy spoke again. He was older than the other two, his British accent more soft-spoken, but Merle had also seen his temper and knew not to dismiss him out of hand.
"How exactly did you get her to send Willow back?" he asked curiously. Behind that curiosity was a shrewd man that Merle was starting to admire.
He crossed his hands behind his back and stood straighter. "I planted a spell in her room, allowing her to see auras. When she cast the spell, she saw the witch and the vampire as soul mates." He paced a few feet to the left, smiled and paced back again. It'd been quite a coincidence that they actually were soul mates. All he'd had to do was plant the spell for Tara to find, and she'd done the rest on her own. Well, except that little clause he'd added to her time travel spell.
Who'd have guessed the witch and the vampire actually were soul mates? Sure, demons had essences, and those essences fell in love as well as any human soul, and were mated to other demon essences. Sometimes they'd fall in love with humans, but he'd never heard of an instance in which a demon's essence was mated to a human's.
Reigning in his thoughts, he stopped in front of them, holding their complete attention. Just how he liked it. "She panicked, did a spell to send the witch back in time to keep the vampire from being captured by the soldiers."
"Willow," the girl corrected. "Her name, is Willow. Use it." Her voice was tight, her eyes narrowed, and Merle knew she was a stone's throw away from jumping over that table to attack him.
What was going on here? This was the most emotion he'd seen from any of them in the months since they'd hired him. He'd thought them cold, and calculating. After all, weren't they trying to drive the witch-- Willow, insane? Weren't they using him to play with her mind?
Well, that was none of his business. "Willow," he corrected. Things were going too well for him at the moment to put himself on the outs with them.
All traces of pride were absent, but he was damn proud of his work on this job. Everything was going more or less as they wanted it to, and it was all because of him. And now, life was about to become even better for him. If he did his job well, he'd be given a power to choose from, and he had his sights set on invisibility. Could come in handy in those instances when shape-changing didn't.
The third boss shifted in his seat on Merle's left. He was as young as the woman, but not as rude and violent as her. In fact, he had a sense of humor, and he let it show in his personality, unlike the other two. At the moment however, he was looking very grim, as he always was when discussing Willow's state of mind. "Is she losing her grip on reality yet?"
Merle took a deep breath. There is where he had to be careful; things were going well, but not as smoothly or as quickly as maybe they should be. "She's still grounded by the two vampires, and Tara."
"Maybe it's time we took them from her?" the older man suggested, though by his tone of voice, he wanted to do anything but that.
"No," the woman interjected, her forehead furrowed in a frown. Merle was astonished by the pain and compassion he saw in her face before she hid it. She shook her head, her normal blank look back in place. "She needs them. We can't do that to--"
The older man sighed. "I simply wish this to end as quickly as possible." He leaned his arm on the table, rubbing his forehead with his hand as he removed his glasses.
"We know," the younger man said softly. "You think we like this? We have no choice, the deal was--"
"I know what the deal was," the older man snapped, glaring at the younger man. He closed his eyes, deflating just the tiniest bit before squaring his shoulders once again. "I'm sorry." He straightened up, putting his glasses back on. "Merle, do you have any ideas?"
Merle was a bit taken aback. The Bosses were surprising him tonight. He'd thought he knew them after months of dealing with them, but tonight they were showing emotions and traits he hadn't thought they possessed.
Concentrating on the subject at hand, he pretended to think for a minute, as if he hadn't been waiting for the perfect opportunity to bring up Gene. "I have a friend," he said slowly, as if just coming up with the idea, "a Djin. He may be exactly what we need. He wears his victims down slowly, and usually by the time they figure out what's wrong, they're too far gone to care."
"A Djin?" the older man asked in surprise. His eyes narrowed slightly, then widened. "Oh, blast it, of course," he mumbled, before consulting the other two.
There was a long, quiet conversation among the three while Merle stood there, pretending not to try to listen. Finally, after a good ten minutes, they all sat up straight, facing him.
"Call the Djin," the older man said, "only tell him what he needs to know, nothing else."
The younger man frowned, and spoke up slowly, and Merle was sure he heard a lot of anger in his voice. "The Spike from her time isn't exactly on great terms with her, is he?"
Merle shook his head, hoping he wasn't going to be punished for screwing things up with them. "No."
The boy grinned, and Merle could see nothing but satisfaction in his face. "Good."
The older man rolled his eyes in irritation. "Will this be a hindrance for you?" he asked Merle.
"No, not at all. I don't think she'll be apart from him for long," he said thoughtfully. "She's forgiving, seems to be in her nature. I'm sure she'll forgive him quickly."
"You're probably right," the younger man said distastefully. "Unfortunately."
"Xander," the older man bit out, exasperation lacing his voice and his glare. "Will you please stop?"
Merle blinked at them a few times in surprise. This was the first time they'd spoken a name in his presence, though obviously he'd known who they were, since he'd killed them.
"Sorry, Giles," was Xander's reply, but Merle could see he didn't mean it.
"Go," Giles told Merle, shaking his head at the whole situation.
Merle turned and left the room, keeping his whistling to a minimum. Invisibility ability, here I come, he thought.
(October 2001)
After collecting her dropped bag, Willow and William traipsed through cemetery after cemetery, and came up empty. Well, that wasn't completely true. They'd dusted six vampires, and William had fought, and then lost, a demon. Now, tired and dirty, they headed to her house.
One more night of freedom, Willow thought, pushing through the door. Her parents were due back the next day, and she was going to be hampered by them for a while. At least until the next time they left, which hopefully was--
"Willow, honey, is that you?" a voice called from the hall.
Willow froze with her hand on the doorknob, trying to figure out if it was better to shove William out the door, or turn to face her mother. Whichever she did, it was bound to be awkward, and her mother would wonder why she'd shoved a man out the door. Forcing back an hysterical giggle, she closed her eyes, opened them with a threatening look at William, and turned to face her mother.
"You're home early." She crossed the room and hugged her mom, trying unsuccessfully to hide her just remembered cast. Oops.
Her mom frowned at the cast, and lifted her hands to smooth Willow's hair from her face. Her eyes widened when she saw the bruise on her daughter's jaw. "Dad's meeting ended early. Honey, what happened?" Her glance flickered briefly to William, then back to Willow.
Willow had already come up with a good, plausible lie for her arm, which would also work for the bruises, but, looking her mom in the face and uttering that same lie wasn't as easy as she'd thought it would be. "Oh, I, um, set my bag on the stairs a few nights ago, and when I came down in the morning..." she lifted her arm, and shrugged. "Don't read and walk."
Sheila nodded, satisfied with her answer, and even smiled a little. "You've always got your nose stuck in a book," she said with a chuckle, then turned her full attention to William. "Willow, aren't you going to introduce your friend?"
Willow was stuck in such a weird place at the moment, that she didn't think she'd ever be normal again. "Oh, right. Manners. Mom, this is Sp-- uh..."
Her mom turned a disapproving look on her, obviously thinking she didn't know his name.
Willow turned red, biting her lip to keep from laughing. Her mom thought she was bringing stray men home to have sex with? Oh, boy. "This is Will--"
"William," said vampire interrupted, moving forward to take her mom's hand. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Rosenberg. Willow's told me so much about you."
She shook his hand, then folded her own in front of her. "Nice to meet you, William. I don't believe I've seen you around. Were you a friend of Buffy's?" she asked politely.
Willow stared at William trying to figure out where that soft, Giles-like accent had come from. "No, he isn't-- wasn't, a friend of hers." Had to remember that past tense thing. The dead thing. The all-your-friends-were-killed-by-a-murdering-demon thing.
Her mom nodded sadly, but she was clearly confused about something. "Willow, honey, what happened to Tara? Did you two break up?" She turned a concerned look toward Willow.
Her mom knew she-- and Tara-- and... oh, God. Her face was flaming so bright, her skin so hot, she started fanning herself with her hand, ignoring William's not-so innocent look turned her way. "Yeah, Mom. We did."
Sheila sighed, hugging her daughter with one arm. "It'll get better, dear. With time." She frowned suddenly, and looked from William to Willow. "Oh, wait. Are you and William...? Did your Father and I interrupt something? Do you two want to be alone?"
Willow lost it. She started laughing so hard she couldn't breathe. "This is the most surreal conversation I have *ever* had," she gasped, laughing even more at the lost look on her mother's face. "I'm going to go out there," she pointed to the front door, "and I'm taking William with me. But we're not going to have sex, so you can relax, Mom." Giggling madly, she grabbed William's hand and dragged him with her out the door.
Once out there, she plopped down on the front stoop with a few more chuckles.
William sat beside her, also still chuckling. "That was..." he stopped to clear his throat, "nice mum ya got there, love."
Willow shook her head with a laugh. "All my life she's absent, then she shows up to burn me at the stake, and embarrass me by talking about sex, and Tara, and-- and who even knew she knew about us? Guess she's not as unobservant as I always thought."
"Most people aren't. We just pretend to be." He waggled his eyebrows at her comically. "All those research sessions I was at? I spent most of the time pretending not to pay attention, but I heard every word, saw every gesture."
She looked at him skeptically. "Liar."
He shrugged, leaning back on his elbows. "That pale yellow shirt of yours with the red sun on it? If the light's right, you can see right through it. Buffy's skirts allowed glimpses of a lot more though, and--"
She slapped his leg as hard as she could. "You jerk. The whole time you were at Giles', you were ogling us? You're a pervert."
He shrugged again as he lit a cigarette. "Comes with the being a vampire part. Think Angel didn't ogle? He ogled. Believe me, all the things Angelus used to yap on about weren't just stories."
"Okay, stop," she insisted. "Angel is just not someone I want to hear about like that. He, and his peeping, need to be between you and him. Please." She laughed at the disgruntled look he tossed her, but didn't relent. It was too yucky to contemplate. She leaned back, gazing up at the star-filled sky, enjoying the breeze on her face. Closing her eyes, she breathed in deeply.
A pair of lips settled over hers, startling her. Tobacco tasting lips.
Not bothering to open her eyes, she sighed and pulled away. "Spike."
"Mmm-hmm," was his reply, once again against her lips.
She opened her eyes, staring at him in amusement. "You need to stop smoking. It really tastes gross."
He smacked his lips together with a grin. "Tastes fine to me." He leaned back again, pointedly taking a drag off his cigarette, and blowing the smoke straight up into the air above them. "Nummy."
She chuckled softly, wondering why she was so infatuated with him. He was a killer again. He'd probably even spent last night hunting and killing. "Where'd you stay last night?"
"My crypt. Why? You miss me in your bed?" He leered at her, smirked, leered some more, and just generally made it known that he'd like to be there again.
"What are we doing?" she wondered aloud. This wasn't a relationship, it was a weird... thing, between a vampire and a witch. Two people who used to hate each other. Until very recently, Spike--this Spike--had hated her. But now, she thought she might be falling in love with him. Did he feel anything for her? Anything more than mere lust?
"Looks like we're sittin' on your porch, avoiding your parents," was Spike's overly simplistic answer.
She rolled her eyes at him. "That's not what I meant. I was talking about--"
"I know what you meant," he sighed. "But, I don't have answers anymore than you do. This whole thing started as a way to--"
"To what?" she asked, turning to face him. Something told her she didn't want to hear the answer, but her curiosity just wouldn't let it rest.
He looked into her face for a brief second, before looking away uncomfortably. "To avoid falling for the Slayer, but now..."
Spike's words came back to her from what felt like years ago, but was only a short while ago; 'I'm pretty sure that telling William about Buffy was a bad idea. I think he's decided to replace her with you.'
"Right. I remember Spike saying something like that." She shrugged as if it was no big deal, but her heart was hurting, and tears were trying to fall from her eyes. What had she expected, she thought to herself, declarations of love?
"It started out that way, but it's not like that anymore." He frowned at her when she didn't reply right away.
After a minute, she nodded, getting to her feet. "It doesn't matter. This whole thing between us was wrong from the start, but now, with the chip no longer working, it's not just wrong, it's stupid."
Spike stood as well, tossing his cigarette to the sidewalk. "It's not wrong, and it's not stupid, Willow." He ran his hands through his hair in agitation. "Yeah, I went out last night, but what the bloody hell did you expect? It's how I survive. You think living off that pig's blood is what I want to do for the rest of my life?" He snorted derisively, shaking his head at her. "I found myself a nice college student to snack on, hunted her like I haven't done in so long, and..."
"Killed her?" she asked harshly. "Yay for you. Hope it was everything you remembered."
"Yes I killed her," he said angrily. "I had here there, bleeding and dying, and I felt whole again. It's what I am, Willow, I hunt, I feed, and I kill. I'm not a bloody lap dog with a leash. But that doesn't mean we can't be together." He took her by the arms, and pulled her to him, but she yanked out of his grip.
"See that's the problem I'm having." She paced a few feet away, putting some distance between them. "You have no idea how wrong it is to kill. It's normal behavior for you, but it's not for me. And I can't live with other people's deaths on my conscience. And if you stop killing because I ask you to--and I would have to ask you to--you'll resent me..." seeing the look he tossed her, she amended her words. "You already resent me. What kind of a relationship is that? A nonexistent one," she answered for him.
"It doesn't matter right now. Can't we just enjoy it and worry about the practical parts later?" he asked, grinding his teeth when she shook her head. "I'm not giving up on this, damn it, I want you. You want me. We can damn well--" he grabbed her arms again, yanking her to him.
"Let go," she ordered him, smacking him in the chest with her cast when he tightened his grip on her arms. "Spike, stop it. What are you going to do, kill me in a fit of anger? Just snap my neck, and drain me dry? Yeah, that's a relationship that'll work," she said sarcastically.
"I bloody well wouldn't do that to you," he hissed, shoving her away from him.
"Yeah, well you just did one hell of a job of not hurting me," she said harshly, rubbing her sore arms. A few tears slipped out unabated, and she swiped at them impatiently, turning away from him. "Spike, I can't do this anymore. I-- I think I'm falling in love with you, and I know it's not going to end well. It never does."
Hearing nothing from Spike, she turned with an angry retort on her lips. The least he could do is acknowledge her declaration. Instead of finding a speechless, or even angry, vampire, she was faced with an empty porch. She immediately dropped her eyes to the cement, searching for a pile of dust, but thankfully, found none.
Well, what the hell? Had he left? Or-- oh. He probably went back to his own time. She hoped. That would help things considerably. She could resist her Spike, since there was nothing between them.
Except that one night of sex, her mind tossed back at her.
Well, that was easy enough to deal with, she'd just avoid him completely, and if she did happen to run into the jerk, she'd pretend it hadn't happened, the same as he was doing.
Heading back into the house with a sigh, she realized she still needed to find the shapeshifter to reverse the spell, and with her parents back, it wasn't going to be easy.
Spike watched as Willow shut the door behind her, then turned away with a sigh, walking back to his crypt. His empty crypt. If her parents weren't home, he'd be in there with her right now.
Seeing her and William standing on the porch together, all touchy-feely, and tender sweet, had pissed him off to no end, but he'd forced himself to stay where he was, even as William grabbed her. Maybe she'd finally see him for the ass he was, maybe she'd come running to him, the Spike that actually cared about her. But, she hadn't. And instead of getting to beat William a few times for being the ass taking Willow away from him, the vampire had disappeared, back to his own time.
Spike was just all broke up about it too.
He sighed again as he entered his crypt. Looked like it was just him and his beer tonight.
PART 15
(October 2001)
Later that night, after Spike left to get more blood at Willy's, Willow grabbed her spell books and headed downstairs for something to eat. Things between her and Spike were almost like they used to be. She couldn't hold a grudge forever, and all he'd done is take her blood, and okay, that was really bad, but she didn't like being angry with him.
Didn't like him not being around. She missed him when he wasn't there. He'd promised never to do it again, and though she wasn't about to believe him, she wasn't going to lose him over this. She'd just have to be more careful around him.
And definitely not sleep in the same bed anymore.
Which brought her to William, and where he'd spent the night. She wasn't too inclined to worry about him, since he'd punched her in the face last night, but she did care, and she did worry.
She fixed herself a frozen dinner and went through her books while she ate. Spike had told her earlier that William hit her because she wouldn't stop screaming and struggling, and he was afraid she'd hurt herself. He also hadn't realized until then that the implant was no longer working. He'd hit her harder than he'd intended.
That's what Spike said anyway.
She thought she believed him, since he pretty much hated himself now, and most likely wouldn't lie about it, but it didn't make it any easier to take. William had hit her without a second thought. What was to keep him from killing her? Not a damn thing.
Well, she was through being pushed around and taken advantage of. It was time for action. Time to find and kill a demon.
Not a William, or Spike demon, but a shape-shifting one. The kind that liked to kill her friends and leave her for dead... well, that too could be Spike, but not this time. Thankfully, and hopefully, never again.
Maybe afterwards she could find the spell Tara used and go back to fix things if they weren't already fixed.
She flipped through the pages, past love, money, and revenge spells, but came up empty. Closing that book, she picked up another one and found something she hadn't been looking for.
A shot of excitement went through her.
This had to be the reason the past hadn't changed. A Dampening spell. It was obvious. Something, or someone--probably the shapeshifter--was dampening the changes William had made, and that's why they weren't seeing the results.
With a short, excited yell, Willow ran upstairs for the ingredients to counteract the spell. She had everything on hand, except for the blood of the one who'd cast the Dampening spell. Damn it. Where was she going to get that? And if she got close enough to get blood from whatever it was, she would most likely just kill it. That would take care of the Dampening spell, wouldn't it? Why were things in the magick department always so complicated?
Deflated, Willow collapsed back into the kitchen chair. Back to her original idea. A demon locating spell. That was easy enough to find. And this time, she had everything she needed. Four white candles, a necklace, and a map of Sunnydale. Simple.
Spreading the map on the kitchen table, she set the candles down, one in each direction, and lit them. Holding the necklace above the map, she concentrated on what she wanted to find. The necklace started to swing in circles, wider and wider, until it got to an area just outside of its reach, then it swung back and forth. Willow moved the necklace in that direction and it stopped moving completely when it got to the cemetery where Spike lived.
Gathering the bag she'd been keeping stocked with weapons, Willow blew out the candles and ran out the door. She dashed across town in record time, making it to Spike's cemetery, panting and out of breath. Her stake was out and at the ready as she went through the gates, keeping an eye out for... anyone that looked like they didn't belong.
Or Spike.
Willow saw him heading in her direction, and ducked behind a brick gate post, watching him approach. He'd probably grab her by the arm and forcibly drag her back to the house if he saw her. Best to stay hidden.
Black jeans. Black T-Shirt. Duster. It was one of the real ones. She sighed and waited for him to leave before continuing her search. He stopped at the entrance, and dug out a cigarette, lighting it with extreme slowness.
"Looking for me?" he asked, looking straight ahead.
Willow stepped out from behind the post with another sigh. "Not unless you're a shape-shifting demon."
He turned to face her, and she was surprised to see the angry tilt to his lips, and the glint of steel in his eyes. "Rather fickle, aren't you? Never quite satisfied with the one you're with. Nope, not our Willow. She goes from one person to the next, using them until she finds someone else she wants. Gender doesn't even stop her."
Willow stared at him, anger working its way to the surface. What was his problem now? She had better things to do than argue with Spike yet again. She had demon killing to do.
He leaned toward her, his lips twisting into a cruel smirk, his voice soft. "First Oz, then Xander, then back to ole Oz, and when he gets sick of you, you move on to Tara. Is Tara enough to hold your interest for a while? Not a chance!" He grinned when she jumped back, startled. "'Cause then you spot a vampire you just *have* to have. But even he's not enough for you, so you sleep with his future self, then act like it didn't happen. Then you go *back* to the witch. And now you're looking for the shapeshifter. Are you never satisfied, love?"
Unable to believe he was saying these things to her, she slapped his smirking face. What hurt so much, was that he was right. He wasn't saying anything she hadn't already thought to herself since she'd slept with--
Slept with Spike? Future Spike? Her dream... oh, God. No. He'd fed off of her, not had sex with her. No, this was the demon, the shapeshifter, he was lying for his own purposes and none of what he said was real. She tightened her grip on the stake behind her back, and forced a smile to her face.
"Wanna know something, Spike?" she asked softly.
He shrugged. "Not really. I was just on my way out. Be seeing you, pet." He tossed his cigarette at her feet and stomped on it.
Willow grabbed him by the arm and swung the stake around to his chest. His hand grabbed hers just before she plunged the stake into his heart and squeezed her unhurt wrist. She yelled in pain and dropped the stake. Okay, her staking arm was a bit useless at the moment, being in a cast and all, so her left hand was the best she could do, which was pretty pathetic. Still, did he have to make it look so effortless?
And damn it. Why wouldn't this thing leave her alone?
He frowned angrily, his eyes full of fury. "What the hell are you doing? It's not enough to leave them anymore, now you have to kill them?"
Willow avoided the hurt and pain she saw in his blue eyes, because it wasn't real. This wasn't Spike. This was the demon that had killed her friends.
She leaned forward, much the same as he'd done, and whispered, "Go to hell, demon." She kicked him in the crotch and ran toward Spike's crypt, dropping her bag along the way, which was only slowing her down. She dodged around headstones and ducked under low hanging branches. Spike's crypt was just ahead, within reach. Maybe William was there. He was safer than the thing chasing after her. She chanced a glance behind her and was satisfied to see Fake Spike yards behind her.
She slammed into the heavy metal door and shoved it open, swinging it shut behind her, coming to a standstill at the entrance. William wasn't there. Neither was Spike.
The fake one came running through the door a second later. She looked around for a weapon, but there was nothing there except the usual stuff. A nice syringe might've helped, in order to get the blood to stop the spell. She was out of luck on both, and the shapeshifter was most likely not about to just let her go. She was in deep trouble. The last time the shapeshifter had her alone, it'd tried to choke her to death. Before that, it'd given her a nice bite and a crossbow bolt to the shoulder. Not encouraging thoughts.
He shoved the door shut, and leaned back against it. "You're afraid of me," he stated, looking slightly less furious than before.
"Duh," she said derisively, rolling her eyes in annoyance.
He closed his eyes with a tired sigh, before opening them again. "I won't hurt you again. I didn't know--" he stopped, looking like he was at a loss for words. "Look, I was angry. Even after all this time, you're still with Stutter Girl. Yes, the chip's disabled, but I don't want to hurt you. Definitely don't want to kill you. Shaggin', though, that's a different story altogether." He grinned, pushing away from the door. His steps slowly brought him closer to her, even as she backed away.
"You're not William. Not Spike either. So just stop pretending and tell me what you want. I'm sick of all of this. I just want it finished." She crossed her arms over her chest, keeping a wary eye on him.
"I am William. I gave you that bruise on your jaw last night," he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I just gotta say, this is getting too confusing."
Pretty sure he was telling the truth, she nodded, but kept her distance. "Tell me about it. I'm going to get a bunch of those, 'Hello, my name is...' tags and make you and Spike wear them." She backed away from him, not wanting to be near William any more than the demon, at the moment. He'd just chased her through the cemetery, after degrading her, and-- "What was all that about back there? I didn't sleep with Spike. Well, aside from the actual sleep-having kind of sleeping with him. No sex, I mean."
He once again looked furious, but kept his distance. Her emotions were at an all time high right now and adrenaline was pumping through her veins after her mad dash through the cemetery, so she was in no mood to listen to a long story on Spike's evil, jealous ways. From Spike, no less.
"You're the only person I've had sex with in two months." She took a deep breath, letting her anger fuel her. So many things she'd stuffed down, buried deep... now seemed like a good time to get them out. "And what the hell are you so pissed about anyway? I was cheating on my girlfriend with you, so if anyone has any reason to be angry, it's her."
He shook his head, his eyes narrowing at her. "You're still pretending it didn't happen?" His sneer was uncalled for, she thought, definitely not something she was used to seeing from him lately. "When that bloody bastard was carrying you home last night he let it 'slip' that he'd screwed you. Quite thoroughly at that." His eyes fell to the bitemark on her neck. "Took your blood too."
Willow ran her hand along her neck, feeling all the scars there. "That's not true," she whispered, a sudden sinking feeling in her stomach. "I don't remember-- I-- I didn't..."
He took a few steps closer, his voice gentle, his expression soft. "You really don't remember?"
She shook her head in agitation. "No. I had a dream... but it was you, not Spike." She couldn't believe this was happening. She'd slept with Spike. Had sex with her Spike. The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. Spike had taken advantage of her more than she'd thought. Way more.
And he'd pay for that.
William was in front of her now, looking angry. Not at her this time. He pulled her into his arms with a sigh.
"We should go. Just leave Sunnydale, leave Spike, and Stutter Girl, leave it all behind."
Willow smiled against his chest. "You're not from this time, and you'll probably end up disappearing soon, so I don't think--" she stopped suddenly, remembering how she'd gone back in time. "Wait a minute. How'd you get here? And how... Tara didn't do this." She pulled away with a frown.
"Tara. What's she got to do with anything?" He pulled her back into his arms, ignoring her weak tries at pulling away.
Giving up, she stayed exactly where she wanted to be anyway. "She's the reason I went back in the first place. She saw-- something, and she sent me back to keep you from getting captured by the Initiative. She thought..." Willow let her voice drift off, having no idea what to tell him. No way was she going to mention the soul mates thing, because she still didn't believe it herself.
His chest shook with laughter at her confession. "I told you there was something between us, love, even she saw it. She's not as dense as I thought she was." He laughed even harder when she slapped his arm. "So, what, she sent you back to keep us from getting lovey-dovey, and ended up being the reason we got lovey-dovey? That's brilliant. Couldn't have planned it better myself. Remind me to thank her someday."
"Shut up, Spike." She couldn't really fault him for being amused, she herself had laughed long and hard, and rather hysterically, upon finding out what Tara had done. Still, she was entitled. "She thought she saw something, and she wanted to stop it, so she sent me back. Only she screwed up on the time somehow." She pulled away again, and he let her. "Come hunting with me. For the shapeshifter. I found a spell to use on it to stop a spell I think it's using." Sighing heavily, she pulled him out the door with her. "I'll explain on the way."
(October 2001)
Merle didn't like formal meetings, and this was no exception, but tonight's meeting with the Bosses had him smiling, rather than frowning.
The three of them were seated at a large table in front of him, whispering between themselves, casting him occasional distrusting glances. Especially the girl. And still he didn't care, because, they were pleased with him and his work, and he was pleased with himself. He shifted from one foot to the other, wishing there was a chair to sit in, but of course there wasn't, couldn't let the demons get too comfortable.
"Tara thinks she sent Willow back?" the girl asked from her spot on the right side of the table. She tried so hard not to let her distaste of him show, but as always, failed miserably.
He often wondered if it was her blonde hair, always pulled back in a tight bun, that had her in such a constant sour mood. How else could he explain why such a beautiful young woman was so uptight, and down on demons?
"She does," Merle answered, addressing the group as a whole. "She believes--"
"Thank you," the older man in the middle said, barely even bothering to look at Merle when he spoke.
Once again they whispered amongst themselves while he was left to stand there like a puppy waiting for attention. It galled him to no end that he had to go through this same ritual every time they saw him, but the end results were worth it. He had free reign to do whatever he wanted, so long as it helped their plans along. Chaos was what he wanted, and it was what he did best. Hence them calling on his services.
Merle looked up when the middle guy spoke again. He was older than the other two, his British accent more soft-spoken, but Merle had also seen his temper and knew not to dismiss him out of hand.
"How exactly did you get her to send Willow back?" he asked curiously. Behind that curiosity was a shrewd man that Merle was starting to admire.
He crossed his hands behind his back and stood straighter. "I planted a spell in her room, allowing her to see auras. When she cast the spell, she saw the witch and the vampire as soul mates." He paced a few feet to the left, smiled and paced back again. It'd been quite a coincidence that they actually were soul mates. All he'd had to do was plant the spell for Tara to find, and she'd done the rest on her own. Well, except that little clause he'd added to her time travel spell.
Who'd have guessed the witch and the vampire actually were soul mates? Sure, demons had essences, and those essences fell in love as well as any human soul, and were mated to other demon essences. Sometimes they'd fall in love with humans, but he'd never heard of an instance in which a demon's essence was mated to a human's.
Reigning in his thoughts, he stopped in front of them, holding their complete attention. Just how he liked it. "She panicked, did a spell to send the witch back in time to keep the vampire from being captured by the soldiers."
"Willow," the girl corrected. "Her name, is Willow. Use it." Her voice was tight, her eyes narrowed, and Merle knew she was a stone's throw away from jumping over that table to attack him.
What was going on here? This was the most emotion he'd seen from any of them in the months since they'd hired him. He'd thought them cold, and calculating. After all, weren't they trying to drive the witch-- Willow, insane? Weren't they using him to play with her mind?
Well, that was none of his business. "Willow," he corrected. Things were going too well for him at the moment to put himself on the outs with them.
All traces of pride were absent, but he was damn proud of his work on this job. Everything was going more or less as they wanted it to, and it was all because of him. And now, life was about to become even better for him. If he did his job well, he'd be given a power to choose from, and he had his sights set on invisibility. Could come in handy in those instances when shape-changing didn't.
The third boss shifted in his seat on Merle's left. He was as young as the woman, but not as rude and violent as her. In fact, he had a sense of humor, and he let it show in his personality, unlike the other two. At the moment however, he was looking very grim, as he always was when discussing Willow's state of mind. "Is she losing her grip on reality yet?"
Merle took a deep breath. There is where he had to be careful; things were going well, but not as smoothly or as quickly as maybe they should be. "She's still grounded by the two vampires, and Tara."
"Maybe it's time we took them from her?" the older man suggested, though by his tone of voice, he wanted to do anything but that.
"No," the woman interjected, her forehead furrowed in a frown. Merle was astonished by the pain and compassion he saw in her face before she hid it. She shook her head, her normal blank look back in place. "She needs them. We can't do that to--"
The older man sighed. "I simply wish this to end as quickly as possible." He leaned his arm on the table, rubbing his forehead with his hand as he removed his glasses.
"We know," the younger man said softly. "You think we like this? We have no choice, the deal was--"
"I know what the deal was," the older man snapped, glaring at the younger man. He closed his eyes, deflating just the tiniest bit before squaring his shoulders once again. "I'm sorry." He straightened up, putting his glasses back on. "Merle, do you have any ideas?"
Merle was a bit taken aback. The Bosses were surprising him tonight. He'd thought he knew them after months of dealing with them, but tonight they were showing emotions and traits he hadn't thought they possessed.
Concentrating on the subject at hand, he pretended to think for a minute, as if he hadn't been waiting for the perfect opportunity to bring up Gene. "I have a friend," he said slowly, as if just coming up with the idea, "a Djin. He may be exactly what we need. He wears his victims down slowly, and usually by the time they figure out what's wrong, they're too far gone to care."
"A Djin?" the older man asked in surprise. His eyes narrowed slightly, then widened. "Oh, blast it, of course," he mumbled, before consulting the other two.
There was a long, quiet conversation among the three while Merle stood there, pretending not to try to listen. Finally, after a good ten minutes, they all sat up straight, facing him.
"Call the Djin," the older man said, "only tell him what he needs to know, nothing else."
The younger man frowned, and spoke up slowly, and Merle was sure he heard a lot of anger in his voice. "The Spike from her time isn't exactly on great terms with her, is he?"
Merle shook his head, hoping he wasn't going to be punished for screwing things up with them. "No."
The boy grinned, and Merle could see nothing but satisfaction in his face. "Good."
The older man rolled his eyes in irritation. "Will this be a hindrance for you?" he asked Merle.
"No, not at all. I don't think she'll be apart from him for long," he said thoughtfully. "She's forgiving, seems to be in her nature. I'm sure she'll forgive him quickly."
"You're probably right," the younger man said distastefully. "Unfortunately."
"Xander," the older man bit out, exasperation lacing his voice and his glare. "Will you please stop?"
Merle blinked at them a few times in surprise. This was the first time they'd spoken a name in his presence, though obviously he'd known who they were, since he'd killed them.
"Sorry, Giles," was Xander's reply, but Merle could see he didn't mean it.
"Go," Giles told Merle, shaking his head at the whole situation.
Merle turned and left the room, keeping his whistling to a minimum. Invisibility ability, here I come, he thought.
(October 2001)
After collecting her dropped bag, Willow and William traipsed through cemetery after cemetery, and came up empty. Well, that wasn't completely true. They'd dusted six vampires, and William had fought, and then lost, a demon. Now, tired and dirty, they headed to her house.
One more night of freedom, Willow thought, pushing through the door. Her parents were due back the next day, and she was going to be hampered by them for a while. At least until the next time they left, which hopefully was--
"Willow, honey, is that you?" a voice called from the hall.
Willow froze with her hand on the doorknob, trying to figure out if it was better to shove William out the door, or turn to face her mother. Whichever she did, it was bound to be awkward, and her mother would wonder why she'd shoved a man out the door. Forcing back an hysterical giggle, she closed her eyes, opened them with a threatening look at William, and turned to face her mother.
"You're home early." She crossed the room and hugged her mom, trying unsuccessfully to hide her just remembered cast. Oops.
Her mom frowned at the cast, and lifted her hands to smooth Willow's hair from her face. Her eyes widened when she saw the bruise on her daughter's jaw. "Dad's meeting ended early. Honey, what happened?" Her glance flickered briefly to William, then back to Willow.
Willow had already come up with a good, plausible lie for her arm, which would also work for the bruises, but, looking her mom in the face and uttering that same lie wasn't as easy as she'd thought it would be. "Oh, I, um, set my bag on the stairs a few nights ago, and when I came down in the morning..." she lifted her arm, and shrugged. "Don't read and walk."
Sheila nodded, satisfied with her answer, and even smiled a little. "You've always got your nose stuck in a book," she said with a chuckle, then turned her full attention to William. "Willow, aren't you going to introduce your friend?"
Willow was stuck in such a weird place at the moment, that she didn't think she'd ever be normal again. "Oh, right. Manners. Mom, this is Sp-- uh..."
Her mom turned a disapproving look on her, obviously thinking she didn't know his name.
Willow turned red, biting her lip to keep from laughing. Her mom thought she was bringing stray men home to have sex with? Oh, boy. "This is Will--"
"William," said vampire interrupted, moving forward to take her mom's hand. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Rosenberg. Willow's told me so much about you."
She shook his hand, then folded her own in front of her. "Nice to meet you, William. I don't believe I've seen you around. Were you a friend of Buffy's?" she asked politely.
Willow stared at William trying to figure out where that soft, Giles-like accent had come from. "No, he isn't-- wasn't, a friend of hers." Had to remember that past tense thing. The dead thing. The all-your-friends-were-killed-by-a-murdering-demon thing.
Her mom nodded sadly, but she was clearly confused about something. "Willow, honey, what happened to Tara? Did you two break up?" She turned a concerned look toward Willow.
Her mom knew she-- and Tara-- and... oh, God. Her face was flaming so bright, her skin so hot, she started fanning herself with her hand, ignoring William's not-so innocent look turned her way. "Yeah, Mom. We did."
Sheila sighed, hugging her daughter with one arm. "It'll get better, dear. With time." She frowned suddenly, and looked from William to Willow. "Oh, wait. Are you and William...? Did your Father and I interrupt something? Do you two want to be alone?"
Willow lost it. She started laughing so hard she couldn't breathe. "This is the most surreal conversation I have *ever* had," she gasped, laughing even more at the lost look on her mother's face. "I'm going to go out there," she pointed to the front door, "and I'm taking William with me. But we're not going to have sex, so you can relax, Mom." Giggling madly, she grabbed William's hand and dragged him with her out the door.
Once out there, she plopped down on the front stoop with a few more chuckles.
William sat beside her, also still chuckling. "That was..." he stopped to clear his throat, "nice mum ya got there, love."
Willow shook her head with a laugh. "All my life she's absent, then she shows up to burn me at the stake, and embarrass me by talking about sex, and Tara, and-- and who even knew she knew about us? Guess she's not as unobservant as I always thought."
"Most people aren't. We just pretend to be." He waggled his eyebrows at her comically. "All those research sessions I was at? I spent most of the time pretending not to pay attention, but I heard every word, saw every gesture."
She looked at him skeptically. "Liar."
He shrugged, leaning back on his elbows. "That pale yellow shirt of yours with the red sun on it? If the light's right, you can see right through it. Buffy's skirts allowed glimpses of a lot more though, and--"
She slapped his leg as hard as she could. "You jerk. The whole time you were at Giles', you were ogling us? You're a pervert."
He shrugged again as he lit a cigarette. "Comes with the being a vampire part. Think Angel didn't ogle? He ogled. Believe me, all the things Angelus used to yap on about weren't just stories."
"Okay, stop," she insisted. "Angel is just not someone I want to hear about like that. He, and his peeping, need to be between you and him. Please." She laughed at the disgruntled look he tossed her, but didn't relent. It was too yucky to contemplate. She leaned back, gazing up at the star-filled sky, enjoying the breeze on her face. Closing her eyes, she breathed in deeply.
A pair of lips settled over hers, startling her. Tobacco tasting lips.
Not bothering to open her eyes, she sighed and pulled away. "Spike."
"Mmm-hmm," was his reply, once again against her lips.
She opened her eyes, staring at him in amusement. "You need to stop smoking. It really tastes gross."
He smacked his lips together with a grin. "Tastes fine to me." He leaned back again, pointedly taking a drag off his cigarette, and blowing the smoke straight up into the air above them. "Nummy."
She chuckled softly, wondering why she was so infatuated with him. He was a killer again. He'd probably even spent last night hunting and killing. "Where'd you stay last night?"
"My crypt. Why? You miss me in your bed?" He leered at her, smirked, leered some more, and just generally made it known that he'd like to be there again.
"What are we doing?" she wondered aloud. This wasn't a relationship, it was a weird... thing, between a vampire and a witch. Two people who used to hate each other. Until very recently, Spike--this Spike--had hated her. But now, she thought she might be falling in love with him. Did he feel anything for her? Anything more than mere lust?
"Looks like we're sittin' on your porch, avoiding your parents," was Spike's overly simplistic answer.
She rolled her eyes at him. "That's not what I meant. I was talking about--"
"I know what you meant," he sighed. "But, I don't have answers anymore than you do. This whole thing started as a way to--"
"To what?" she asked, turning to face him. Something told her she didn't want to hear the answer, but her curiosity just wouldn't let it rest.
He looked into her face for a brief second, before looking away uncomfortably. "To avoid falling for the Slayer, but now..."
Spike's words came back to her from what felt like years ago, but was only a short while ago; 'I'm pretty sure that telling William about Buffy was a bad idea. I think he's decided to replace her with you.'
"Right. I remember Spike saying something like that." She shrugged as if it was no big deal, but her heart was hurting, and tears were trying to fall from her eyes. What had she expected, she thought to herself, declarations of love?
"It started out that way, but it's not like that anymore." He frowned at her when she didn't reply right away.
After a minute, she nodded, getting to her feet. "It doesn't matter. This whole thing between us was wrong from the start, but now, with the chip no longer working, it's not just wrong, it's stupid."
Spike stood as well, tossing his cigarette to the sidewalk. "It's not wrong, and it's not stupid, Willow." He ran his hands through his hair in agitation. "Yeah, I went out last night, but what the bloody hell did you expect? It's how I survive. You think living off that pig's blood is what I want to do for the rest of my life?" He snorted derisively, shaking his head at her. "I found myself a nice college student to snack on, hunted her like I haven't done in so long, and..."
"Killed her?" she asked harshly. "Yay for you. Hope it was everything you remembered."
"Yes I killed her," he said angrily. "I had here there, bleeding and dying, and I felt whole again. It's what I am, Willow, I hunt, I feed, and I kill. I'm not a bloody lap dog with a leash. But that doesn't mean we can't be together." He took her by the arms, and pulled her to him, but she yanked out of his grip.
"See that's the problem I'm having." She paced a few feet away, putting some distance between them. "You have no idea how wrong it is to kill. It's normal behavior for you, but it's not for me. And I can't live with other people's deaths on my conscience. And if you stop killing because I ask you to--and I would have to ask you to--you'll resent me..." seeing the look he tossed her, she amended her words. "You already resent me. What kind of a relationship is that? A nonexistent one," she answered for him.
"It doesn't matter right now. Can't we just enjoy it and worry about the practical parts later?" he asked, grinding his teeth when she shook her head. "I'm not giving up on this, damn it, I want you. You want me. We can damn well--" he grabbed her arms again, yanking her to him.
"Let go," she ordered him, smacking him in the chest with her cast when he tightened his grip on her arms. "Spike, stop it. What are you going to do, kill me in a fit of anger? Just snap my neck, and drain me dry? Yeah, that's a relationship that'll work," she said sarcastically.
"I bloody well wouldn't do that to you," he hissed, shoving her away from him.
"Yeah, well you just did one hell of a job of not hurting me," she said harshly, rubbing her sore arms. A few tears slipped out unabated, and she swiped at them impatiently, turning away from him. "Spike, I can't do this anymore. I-- I think I'm falling in love with you, and I know it's not going to end well. It never does."
Hearing nothing from Spike, she turned with an angry retort on her lips. The least he could do is acknowledge her declaration. Instead of finding a speechless, or even angry, vampire, she was faced with an empty porch. She immediately dropped her eyes to the cement, searching for a pile of dust, but thankfully, found none.
Well, what the hell? Had he left? Or-- oh. He probably went back to his own time. She hoped. That would help things considerably. She could resist her Spike, since there was nothing between them.
Except that one night of sex, her mind tossed back at her.
Well, that was easy enough to deal with, she'd just avoid him completely, and if she did happen to run into the jerk, she'd pretend it hadn't happened, the same as he was doing.
Heading back into the house with a sigh, she realized she still needed to find the shapeshifter to reverse the spell, and with her parents back, it wasn't going to be easy.
Spike watched as Willow shut the door behind her, then turned away with a sigh, walking back to his crypt. His empty crypt. If her parents weren't home, he'd be in there with her right now.
Seeing her and William standing on the porch together, all touchy-feely, and tender sweet, had pissed him off to no end, but he'd forced himself to stay where he was, even as William grabbed her. Maybe she'd finally see him for the ass he was, maybe she'd come running to him, the Spike that actually cared about her. But, she hadn't. And instead of getting to beat William a few times for being the ass taking Willow away from him, the vampire had disappeared, back to his own time.
Spike was just all broke up about it too.
He sighed again as he entered his crypt. Looked like it was just him and his beer tonight.
