This story has a few references to the SCMFF. If you dunno what that is, think wrestling for Muses. Don't worry, you can still enjoy it otherwise. This one's kinda personal, so if you don't wanna know anything about me, don't bother reading. ^_^

Summary: Nate & Yugi discuss their feelings for each other (as only they can).

Holding Back
by XMAN0123
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The idea was fairly simple, as far as Nate understood. Two or more Muses entered a ring, slugged it out until one couldn't go one, and the other(s) were declared the winner(s). In theory, simple. However, he'd forgotten that when his two Muses were involved, simplicity was dragged into the street, beaten, and pretty much left to die in misery. Then it was exchanged for an incredible amount of frustration, confusion, and followed by depression.

Anyway, Nate was a wrestling fan. He knew all the destruction happened in the ring, around it, or at least somewhere remotely close to the venue. So when he entered his apartment and nearly got his head taken off by a crystal shard, something told him that he'd better go over the rules with at least one of his Muses.

Naturally, Yugi was in the middle of training. That was fine. He'd offered to let her train there, provided she didn't destroy anything that belonged to him. So Nate was understandably upset when he discovered that his couch had become little more than a pin cushion filled with crystal shards.

"Yugi, can I ask you something?!" he shouted over the noise.

Yugi stopped in mid-throw, still gripping a shard in her right hand. "Hey, Nate. Something wrong?"

"Of course not. WHY ARE YOU DESTROYING MY COUCH?!"

She shrugged. "It's big, heavy, and won't fight back. Besides, it's been a long time since I used the shards, and I have to get my aim back before the matches start."

"So you had to kill the vicious couch BEFORE it sunk its rabid teeth into you?"

Yugi rolled her eyes and sighed. "Nate, babe. You know I love you, but you're a HUGE distraction. Very bad for training. If you leave now, I might still convince my source to get you a front row seat."

Nate smirked. "First, Washu is a mad genius and a danger to everything around her, not a 'source.' Next, it wouldn't matter what she could get you. I'm your Writer, which pretty much gives me Manager rights. I'll be at ringside for all your matches, if I have anything to say about it."

"Your undying devotion and concern for me is duly noted and appreciated. You can go now." Yugi turned back to the couch and raised a shard.

"Yugi, if you throw one more shard at the wreck formerly known as my couch, your next fight will be with me."

Yugi paused to size him up. "Okay, but I don't think you're gonna win."

Nate sighed. "Yugi, put the shard away."

"Fine, but if I lose my first match, it'll be your fault!"

"Isn't there any other way you can train?"

"Well, yeah," she admitted. "But you'll just get upset if I show you."

"In that case, show me now so I can be upset all at once."

Yugi led him to her bedroom and turned on the light. In the center of the room, there was a large punching bag hanging from the ceiling. It had obviously been getting the same treatment as the couch, possibly worse. The most disturbing thing about it was the image spray-painted on the front.

Nate cleared his throat. "Yugi, that punching bag looks suspiciously like D."

Yugi ran her hand over the bag. "You think? I never noticed."

Nate picked up his Muse and held her at eye level. "Yugi."

"Okay, but I have a good reason for it!"

"I can hardly wait."

Yugi hopped out of his grasp and gestured dramatically. "See, in wrestling, they have a script to follow, just like we do. So I figured in case I ever have to turn on D for script purposes, I better be ready to take her down."

Nate blinked. "Yugi, you're a tag-team. That means you work together."

"No, but I was thinking that I could go solo first. Then when I got a really tough opponent that was too much for me, D could run in from the crowd and beat him to death with her Super Ankh. Then the Destroyers would be born!" Yugi raised a fist triumphantly. "That'd be our name, by the way."

"Really? I was hoping for Nate's Cutie Pies."

Yugi grinned. "Nice, but no. We have to strike fear in our opponents before we get to the ring."

"D's theme song alone should do that in most cases. There aren't many songs that describe terrorism in such detail."

"Maybe. But I want people to remember that I'm evil and very dangerous."

"You're not. Cuz then I couldn't do this." Nate grabbed Yugi and affectionately kissed her nose.

"Stop that!" Yugi tried to wipe off her nose. "You're ruining my evil aura!"

"You're not evil. You're my Cutie Pie!"

"Only HERE," she insisted. "But once I enter that arena, I'm your worst nightmare!"

Nate shook his head. "Impossible. My worst nightmare involves Washu strapping me into some weird machine and experimenting on me." Then, noticing the look on her face, he quickly added, "And living without you, of course. But then it wouldn't really be living, would it?"

"I'm gonna remember that when I become champion. Then I'll turn on YOU."

"Just remember that it's only a script, Yugi. At the end of the day, all three of us come home to the same apartment. We're still one little, disturbed family."

Yugi tilted her head slightly. "I thought it was one big, happy family?"

"It would be. But I've never encouraged you girls to lie, and I won't start now."

"So you're not happy with me and D?" she asked, pretending to sound hurt.

"Of course I am. But that fact alone is pretty disturbing. Then there's the fact that I let you both sleep in my bed."

"Yeah, but nothing ever happens," Yugi added with a pouty look on her face. "I'm starting to think you might even be ga-"

"Don't you DARE finish that sentence. You know I'm very insecure about what people think and everything else in general."

"So what is it? You don't find me attractive?" She smoothed out her hair a bit. "Is it my hair? My eyes? My skin?"

Nate sighed and sat down on the couch. There was a loud groan, and the legs snapped in two, causing the entire couch to crash to the floor. Once the dust cleared, Nate blinked slowly. "As I've mentioned several times before, I think you're beautiful, Yugi."

"So why do you treat me like your kid sister?"

"Because, in my mind, that's what you have to be. I have yet to encounter a woman that truthfully finds me even marginally attractive, so there's no possible way in the world that someone as cute as you could like someone...well, like me. Plus there's the simple fact that you LOOK like someone's kid sister."

"Nate, I'm thousands of years old!"

"And that NEVER helps your case," he pointed out. "Besides, you're a Muse, and I'm a Writer. That's like a dog and cat...doing it."

"NO, IT ISN'T!" Yugi shouted. "I can name at least one Writer that 'does it' with his Muse on a regular basis!"

"Who?"

"Some guy. I forget his name. But he does it!"

Nate rolled his eyes. "Even if that was true, I'm not him."

"But you could be!"

"Yugi, why can't you accept that I'm not going to...y'know...with you?"

"The same reason you'll keep asking me to stop asking. A person's gotta have dreams."

Nate sighed and hid his face in his hands. "Can't you play for the other team or something?"

Yugi arched an eyebrow. "WHAT?"

On some levels, Nate knew what he was about to say could very well get him slapped. Still, it seemed like a good idea at the time. "Y'know. Can't you...uh...change your-"

"Are you suggesting that I somehow magically turn myself into a lesbian? Because if you are, I'll just beat you to death now and save you the total embarrassment of having to admit that you thought of and actually said something so stupid."

"Hey, you're the one that was obsessed with Sasami! In fact, the first time I saw the show, I thought you WERE a les-"

"It's called ACTING, you jerk!" Yugi shouted.

Nate was trying to think of a witty comeback when he noticed a solitary tear running down Yugi's cheek. Though she quickly brushed it away, he knew she wasn't crying to make him feel guilty this time. He decided to start with an apology. "I'm sorry, Yugi. I shouldn't have said that."

"Got that right." She sniffled a bit, possibly for effect.

"I AM sorry, but-"

"No," she interrupted, a wary look on her face. "I don't like those."

"But you have to understand that this is very frustrating for me."

"You think it isn't for me?!"

Nate sighed loudly. "You've made that obvious. But I never would've suggested such a crazy idea if you hadn't kept pushing me."

"Uh huh." Yugi crossed her arms over her chest. "So explain to me how you even have a right to be upset."

"Fine." Nate slid off the couch and placed his hands on her shoulders. "As I said before, I like to think of you as my kid sister." Yugi started to say something, but he pressed a finger to her lips. "At least, part of me does."

Yugi's eyes widened a bit. "And what about the other part?"

"Like I said before, I think you're beautiful. So part of me kinda wants to forget that you look like...well, a kid. That's the part you're looking for, but understand that if I ever let that part win, you wouldn't be my Muse anymore."

She gasped in shock. "But why?!"

"Though I wouldn't know, the impression I get is that once most men get a sample of...y'know...with some female they find extremely attractive, they tend to forget about doing other important things. Like writing."

Understanding dawned on Yugi. "Which means you wouldn't be a Writer-"

"And I wouldn't have a Muse, either. My contract with Pioneer states I can only use you for Muse-related purposes. If I ever violated that by...y'know...or stopped using you for inspiration, they'd take you away from me. And even if D ever forgave me and decided to stay, Subreality as a whole would probably look down on me. And I could forget about ever meeting Kielle. As the Scribe, I imagine she's got enough freaks to avoid."

"So...what was the point of borrowing me in the first place?"

"I figured if you were my Muse, I could become more focused as a Writer. That's always been one of my dreams. Another was to get enough money to buy you from Pioneer, but that one's a long way off."

Yugi smiled a bit. "So how much do I cost?"

"More than all the property damage Mihoshi's ever caused."

Her eyes widened. "THAT much? You'll never be able to afford that!"

Nate shrugged. "Like an incredibly cute Muse once told me, a person's gotta have dreams."

"Ever dream about me?" she asked hopefully.

Nate grinned nervously. "Let's not go there."

"Okay, fine." Yugi cleared her throat. "So. Now what?"

"This is the part where you forgive me for being a jerk."

Yugi looked skeptical. "Why would I do that?"

"Mainly because of all the mushy emotional outpouring I just did. Partially because if you're still mad at me on February 14th, you wouldn't find out what I had planned."

"Sounds reasonable. What'd you get me?"

"You'll find out then." Nate stood up. "That is, if you forgive me."

"Give me one good reason. And don't try repeating anything you just said, either."

Nate thought for a moment. "Fine. Come here."

"Why?" Yugi asked suspiciously.

"This statement requires that I pick you up. The effect is ruined if I'm looking down at you."

Yugi allowed him to lift her to eye level. "Okay, get on with it."

"Have you ever wondered why I let you and D sleep in my bed or hug and kiss you every now and then?"

"Not really. I just sat back and enjoyed it."

Nate rolled his eyes. "It's because I love you both, but only to a certain extent. After that, in my eyes, it's just..."

"Wrong?"

"Right. I mean, no, it IS wrong, so you're right, but-"

"Relax, Nate. I get the point," Yugi replied.

"Good. So do you forgive me?"

"On the grounds that you love me and D? No. I already knew that."

Nate frowned. "Okay, fine. I didn't want you to sign up for the SCMFF because I thought you'd get hurt, but when you told me how much you wanted to be in it, I couldn't say no to you."

"Would that be because you're concerned, or because you can't stand the thought of someone damaging my beautiful face?"

"Both. And because I heard Washu might be involved."

Yugi waved a hand dismissively. "Washu's cool, her genius is just misunderstood. Anyway, I'm still waiting on a good reason."

"That was a good reason!"

"You don't want me to forgive you, do you?"

"I'll put it like this. If you don't, I'll never touch you again. Starting now." Nate placed her on the floor and walked away. "I guess I'll have to go shower D with all my affection now."

"Do it and you're both dead."

"What's this? Do I detect jealousy?"

"No, you detect a death threat/promise which WILL be carried out if you even think of giving her all your attention."

Nate kept walking. "You can't kill me. I'm your Writer, remember?"

"And I'm the Muse that can be very evil, when she wants to be." Yugi appeared in front of him. "You're making me happy, angry, confused, and more angry. That's not good."

"Good. Now you know how I feel every time I look at you," Nate replied. "Yugi, even if I was in love with you, I couldn't do anything about it. I certainly wouldn't tell you, because you'd only try to take it further than words. So it's best to just to stop asking me and quit making both of us suffer."

"That may be true, but how do I know you're not in love with me right now?"

Nate's frown slowly turned into a smile. "I guess you don't."

Yugi resisted the urge to reduce him to a pile of ash. "You mean you've been lying all this time?!"

"I didn't say that," Nate replied. "I only said that if I was in love with you, I wouldn't tell you."

"So you're saying you COULD be in love with me right now?" she asked.

"Maybe. Maybe not."

Yugi frowned at him. "I hate you."

"I know." Nate checked his watch. "Anyway, I have to go. I'm meeting Android 18 for lunch."

"Oh, so now you're seeing androids behind my back?"

"Yugi, I'd have problems dating a human girl with a fake leg. Do you really think I could date an android fictive? I just need to talk to her about a story I'm thinking of putting her in."

"How do I know you won't be flirting with her?"

Nate sighed. "Okay, you can come with me. But you have to promise not to wreck any more of my furniture."

"I swear on my little Muse heart," she said.

"Uh...I guess that'll work."

"So I can go?!" Yugi asked eagerly.

"Yeah, sure. But we're going to the Sake Bar, so no Beast rides."

"Aw, man!" Yugi stomped her foot. "Why do we have to go there?!"

"Because 18 agreed to treat me, so she gets to pick the place."

"Wait. How'd you get her to pay?"

"Simple. I promised I'd do a series with her as a main character."

"Figures," Yugi muttered. "Your fictives would do anything to be used."

"You make it sound so wrong."

"Well, it is! All they ever do is eat and get used!"

Nate smirked. "I wonder where they got that from."

"Are you trying to imply your fictives are lazy because of ME?"

"You were my first Muse. They had to get it from somewhere."

"If I didn't love you so much, I'd turn you into a strawberry."

Nate gave her a weird look. "I'm afraid to ask why."

"Cuz then I could just eat you up!" she replied, hugging his neck.

"Cute. Does that mean you forgive me?"

"Only if 18 buys me a Mega Margarita."

"Yugi, you're only ten-"

"Thousand," she added.

"Oh. Right. Sorry."

"Apology accepted," Yugi replied, kissing his cheek. "Now, shall we go?"

"Yeah, sure. But we have to stop by the Dreaming and pick up D. Any objections?"

"Nope. I need to size up my future opponent...uh, partner. I meant partner."

"Sure you did."
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Disclaimer: Yugi belongs to Pioneer. Subreality belongs to Kielle.