Disclaimer: I own nothing. No actual hobbits were harmed in the making of
this fic.
Title: Losing 3/3
Author: Red Light District
Summary: So how deep does the rabblit hole go? or You finally get to see what Pippin thinks about all this.
Author's note: This is the end of my wonderfully angsty series....at least I think it's the end. The Boys are pushing for a story about what happens in their last days. I'm not too sure about that though. As always, tell me if it made sense, what you thought, etc...
I realized a few days ago that there's been a song playing in the back of my head while I wrote the last two parts. "I Want" by Dayna Manning. I've never heard it, but I kep hearing the words over and over....it really influenced Merry's part. It's a long song, so here are (to me) the most important bits:
I want someone to grant my wishes snip It's taken me all this time to find out what I need snip And I want a love that's not so painful It's taken me all this, all this time, But I can't have everything I want 'Cause I can't have you I can't have everything I want 'Cause I only want you.
---
"Oh, my Merry."
Then you're kissing me and I've waited so long for this.... I never dreamed that you'd feel the same... When we break away I have tears in my eyes. I want to stay with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you....I want you to ask me to give her up. I need you to ask me.
"You know I can't." "I know. I can't either."
You bastard! What do you mean you can't! Didn't that kiss mean anything to you? You're supposed to ask me to stay. Tell me that you love me and won't let me go without a fight. Why couldn't you have told me before I got engaged? Before I fell in love with her? Yes, I do love her, but not the same way....you will always own my heart.
"You'll be there won't you?" Merry...Say you'll only be at my wedding if I'm marrying you. I need you to give me something to hang onto. Don't do this to me...to us.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world."
So you're letting go. You can't do that... Not when I just found out. If you ask me to leave her, then I will. Without a thought for her or anything else. Don't you see that? Don't you understand. I'm walking away now. Slowly. You have time to stop me. I'm giving you every chance I can without saying it. Please just say something and I'll never ask for anything again... I'm at the door now. I'm stopping. Here! Another chance.... Are you blind or just too good?
"I just wanted you to know that I always have."
I'm closing the door. I'm outside. I'm walking away, but this isn't right. This isn't the way the stories go. You're supposed to run after me and tell me that you love me. Tell me I can't marry her. Tell me that everything will be okay because we'll have each other. But you don't. And I go home to cry for everything we should have had.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You're here. I've been watching you the whole time. You're edgy. You could never keep still at things like this. How could you come here with her? But you could ask me how I could ask you to be at my wedding.
I wish I could have told you about Sam in person. I was too hurt, angry....in love. I still am. I can't believe how cold it was. I didn't mean for it to sound that way, but I couldn't help it. I thanked you for your time. I would have given up everything to be with you, and all you had to give me was your time.
I'm supposed to be waiting for Diamond, but I'm watching you. It should be you I'm waiting for, or you waiting for me. I would have done it however you liked. I'd be your boy on the side if you'd asked. As long as I could be with you.
So, you finally noticed that I've been staring at you. It took you long enough. You know me. You alway read my thoughts when I least want you to. Can you do it now? Do you dare to do it now that it will do something? Object. Stop the wedding. Tell the whole Shire that you love me, and I can't marry Diamond. Why won't you do that. I love you so much, and you love me too. What could be more natural?
You weren't able to read my mind this time. Or...what if you did, but you didn't want to object. What if I misread everything in that kiss, everything in your eyes? I couldn't have been that blind, not when I see such pain on your face. Oh....I understand now.
You're going to marry her.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I'm at your wedding. Lovely really. I think I'm going to be ill. How can you stand there and look at her that way. As if she could ever take my place. I hate her, and I want to hate you. Maybe I do. I heard that love and hate are closely tied to each other. It would be easier if I hated you because then I wouldn't hurt so much.
I thought I hated you for a while. Then we talked. You were returning the visit I made. It seems like a lifetime ago. I suppose it was poetic justice that you were only coming to tell me of your engagement. That was the last time I cried about us, and I'm not wasting anymore tears on you.
Don't you think it strange that nobody's noticed how our relationship has changed. I suppose they think it's because of our new responsibilities and our marriages...
If we could have that day back, then I wouldn't wait for you to say something. But we can't go back. We can only go forward...without each other. Oh, love I miss you...
"I now pronounce you husband and wife."
I wish you could have looked at me just once.
---
TBC???
So...what did you think? Was it angsty enough? Lol.
Should there be a semi-happy story about them? It won't be completely happy though because it will take place in Rohan/Gondor...
Title: Losing 3/3
Author: Red Light District
Summary: So how deep does the rabblit hole go? or You finally get to see what Pippin thinks about all this.
Author's note: This is the end of my wonderfully angsty series....at least I think it's the end. The Boys are pushing for a story about what happens in their last days. I'm not too sure about that though. As always, tell me if it made sense, what you thought, etc...
I realized a few days ago that there's been a song playing in the back of my head while I wrote the last two parts. "I Want" by Dayna Manning. I've never heard it, but I kep hearing the words over and over....it really influenced Merry's part. It's a long song, so here are (to me) the most important bits:
I want someone to grant my wishes snip It's taken me all this time to find out what I need snip And I want a love that's not so painful It's taken me all this, all this time, But I can't have everything I want 'Cause I can't have you I can't have everything I want 'Cause I only want you.
---
"Oh, my Merry."
Then you're kissing me and I've waited so long for this.... I never dreamed that you'd feel the same... When we break away I have tears in my eyes. I want to stay with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you....I want you to ask me to give her up. I need you to ask me.
"You know I can't." "I know. I can't either."
You bastard! What do you mean you can't! Didn't that kiss mean anything to you? You're supposed to ask me to stay. Tell me that you love me and won't let me go without a fight. Why couldn't you have told me before I got engaged? Before I fell in love with her? Yes, I do love her, but not the same way....you will always own my heart.
"You'll be there won't you?" Merry...Say you'll only be at my wedding if I'm marrying you. I need you to give me something to hang onto. Don't do this to me...to us.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world."
So you're letting go. You can't do that... Not when I just found out. If you ask me to leave her, then I will. Without a thought for her or anything else. Don't you see that? Don't you understand. I'm walking away now. Slowly. You have time to stop me. I'm giving you every chance I can without saying it. Please just say something and I'll never ask for anything again... I'm at the door now. I'm stopping. Here! Another chance.... Are you blind or just too good?
"I just wanted you to know that I always have."
I'm closing the door. I'm outside. I'm walking away, but this isn't right. This isn't the way the stories go. You're supposed to run after me and tell me that you love me. Tell me I can't marry her. Tell me that everything will be okay because we'll have each other. But you don't. And I go home to cry for everything we should have had.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You're here. I've been watching you the whole time. You're edgy. You could never keep still at things like this. How could you come here with her? But you could ask me how I could ask you to be at my wedding.
I wish I could have told you about Sam in person. I was too hurt, angry....in love. I still am. I can't believe how cold it was. I didn't mean for it to sound that way, but I couldn't help it. I thanked you for your time. I would have given up everything to be with you, and all you had to give me was your time.
I'm supposed to be waiting for Diamond, but I'm watching you. It should be you I'm waiting for, or you waiting for me. I would have done it however you liked. I'd be your boy on the side if you'd asked. As long as I could be with you.
So, you finally noticed that I've been staring at you. It took you long enough. You know me. You alway read my thoughts when I least want you to. Can you do it now? Do you dare to do it now that it will do something? Object. Stop the wedding. Tell the whole Shire that you love me, and I can't marry Diamond. Why won't you do that. I love you so much, and you love me too. What could be more natural?
You weren't able to read my mind this time. Or...what if you did, but you didn't want to object. What if I misread everything in that kiss, everything in your eyes? I couldn't have been that blind, not when I see such pain on your face. Oh....I understand now.
You're going to marry her.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I'm at your wedding. Lovely really. I think I'm going to be ill. How can you stand there and look at her that way. As if she could ever take my place. I hate her, and I want to hate you. Maybe I do. I heard that love and hate are closely tied to each other. It would be easier if I hated you because then I wouldn't hurt so much.
I thought I hated you for a while. Then we talked. You were returning the visit I made. It seems like a lifetime ago. I suppose it was poetic justice that you were only coming to tell me of your engagement. That was the last time I cried about us, and I'm not wasting anymore tears on you.
Don't you think it strange that nobody's noticed how our relationship has changed. I suppose they think it's because of our new responsibilities and our marriages...
If we could have that day back, then I wouldn't wait for you to say something. But we can't go back. We can only go forward...without each other. Oh, love I miss you...
"I now pronounce you husband and wife."
I wish you could have looked at me just once.
---
TBC???
So...what did you think? Was it angsty enough? Lol.
Should there be a semi-happy story about them? It won't be completely happy though because it will take place in Rohan/Gondor...
