Note: It was recently pointed out to me that I'm practically sustaining the Dojo & Sake Bar by myself. That said, I think it needs a staff. My poor Sakura can't do everything, y'know. I didn't really make/bring this place into existence, but I can't seem to find out who did, and I'm far too lazy to ask more than once. Though I suppose I might back off if someone yells at me. Possibly. If they could get past Yugi. :)

Summary: Sakura decides to bring in a temporary staff to help out at the Sake Bar. Emphasis on temporary...


Help Wanted!


"Pleeeeeeeease, Vegeta-sama?"

Vegeta looked down at the girl kneeling before him, her emerald eyes shining with tears...and was totally unfazed. "No."

"But you're the only one that could possibly do this!"

"Don't make me repeat myself, child."

The girl stood up, deciding on a different tactic. "You'd get to beat people up!"

Vegeta appeared to be considering that. "What...people?"

"Anyone who isn't an anime fictive or Writer."

Vegeta blinked. It WAS tempting, but still...

"It would make Yugi-san soooooo happy if you did!"

Vegeta frowned. "I'd better be getting paid for this."

"You'd get free food from the kitchen, and partial ownership of the Dojo."

Vegeta raised an eyebrow. "Partial?"

"Well...Cell owns the rest of it. He'd be your replacement when you called in sick."

"I don't get sick," Vegeta snapped. "I get lethal."

"Um...okay," Sakura said slowly. "But, if you didn't want to come to work one day, Cell would be there instead."

"No. It's my job. MINE." He raised a hand, forming a tiny ball of energy in it. "Are we clear, child?"

Sakura wisely backed away. "Hai, Vegeta-sama!"

Vegeta smirked. "Good." With that, he slammed the door in her face.

Sakura sighed in relief, then grinned and pulled out her cell phone. "Good news, Nate-sama! I got us a Bouncer!"

* * * * *

Tomoyo poked her head into the kitchen. "Everything all right back here?"

Instead of a worded reply, she got something of a meow. A strangely familiar meow.

"Uh...hello?"

Without warning, a large pot suddenly flew across the kitchen, landed on the counter, and slipped into a cabinet.

Tomoyo blinked a few times, then returned to the bar, even paler than usual.

"What's with you?" Cell asked, noticing the look on her face.

"Either our kitchen is haunted," Tomoyo said slowly, "or we have roaches. BIG roaches."

Cell thought for a moment. "Oh, that. Don't worry, it's not a pest problem. Well, not really. They're good pests. They're on the payroll."

"Are you SURE?"

"Positive. They're with the new cook...I guess."

Tomoyo sighed. "I knew I was going to regret this. I didn't know it would give me nightmares..."

* * * * *

"C'mon, Nate. It just wouldn't be right without someone from Sailor Moon."

"I dunno. Makoto already works at the Writer's Café. Who could compete with her?"

"We already HAVE a cook. Now we need more waitresses...and a janitor. Oh, and managers."

Nate groaned. "I'm beginning to regret starting this project, Yugi."

"Don't say that. We can make it work. Now, think of someone friendly from Sailor Moon while I go talk to Washu."

Nate's eyes widened. "Washu? WHY?!"

"Oh, nothing. Go on, now. Think. THINK. Nate, stop looking at me and THINK, dangit!"

"Not until you tell me WHY you need to talk with Washu. You're not giving her a job, are you?"

"Well...not in the Sake Bar..."

"Yugi..."

"Nate, you have to trust me."

"Not when it comes to Washu, I don't. Tell me why."

"Nope, not gonna. Bye, Nate!" Yugi disappeared instantly.

Nate sighed. "That's it. The Sake Bar is doomed..."

* * * * *

"Sakura-chan, you know if it were anything else, I'd help you in a heartbeat. But like I've told you twice already, I HAVE a job and I'm not going to quit...or work another shift here, for that matter. So please stop asking me, because I feel horrible already."

Sakura pouted. "I remember a time when you called yourself my best friend, Gamer. But I guess that spot goes to Tomoyo again..."

Gamer sighed and lightly banged his head on the table. "You're not being fair, Sakura-chan!"

"Well, you're not helping me like I thought you would."

"I said I'd help you find some people, and I did. I got you an excellent cook and several of her...assistants."

"I could've done that easily," Sakura pointed out. "So could Yugi-san or Trunks-kun."

"But I did it," Gamer argued. "And I certainly didn't have to. Now, may I go, please? I'm going to be late for work."

Sakura looked as if she might cry.

"Oh, fine. I'll see if I can't talk Deemon into helping out."

Sakura brightened instantly. "What about her clone?"

Gamer frowned. "You're the one Eriol likes; YOU talk to him. Besides, I don't know if you want evil people near the food..."

"At this point, I'd take Majin Buu, if he could balance a tray and looked good in a skirt."

"Don't even joke about that, Sakura-chan."

"Well, he IS pink. He'd match my outfit..."

"Sakura."

"Oh, fine! But you have to come back later and help with the food shipment."

"I don't even work this hard at my real job," Gamer muttered as he faded away.

* * * * *

"Explain to me," Nate said slowly, "why I have to wear this."

Tomoyo blinked innocently. "It's Theme Night."

"The theme being...?"

"Pokémon."

"So that's why I have to wear this Snorlax suit?"

Tomoyo nodded, stifling a giggle.

"What are YOU supposed to be?"

"Er...I'm a trainer."

Nate glared at her. "At least tell me someone else is going to dress up."

"Sakura's going to be a Clefairy."

"That's IT?!"

Just then, the door opened.

Tomoyo spun around. "Welcome to the Sake Bar!" she said brightly.

"Relax, Tomoyo. Chibi Usa's here for the waitress job. Yugi called her."

Chibi Usa glanced around the Sake Bar. "Aren't there any other waitresses?"

Tomoyo nodded. "Sakura's in the kitchen with Sasami. I think they're coming up with a new menu."

"Well, at least the food will be good." Chibi Usa looked at Nate. "Um...there's a Snorlax eating your head."

Nate sighed. "I know. It must've gotten my brain first, because I can't recall why I signed up for this."

Tomoyo shot him a look. "We need a few more people."

"You might wanna talk to the girl outside then," Chibi Usa replied. "She was trying to get past Vegeta, but he won't let her in."

"Why not?" Nate asked.

"She's got a six foot lion man with her, and V-Man seems to think he's a pet."

"Oh, that's Leomon and Juri," Nate said. "I called her about the waitress thing, too. Dunno why she brought him, though..."

"Because she's Juri?" Tomoyo guessed.

"Um...well, maybe he can work in the Dojo. Security and stuff."

"Fine, I'll ask him," Tomyo said. "Meanwhile, did anybody think about getting a manager?"

"Yeah, thought about it," Nate muttered.

* * * * *

"...so we're basically just gonna proclaim ourselves the managers behind Nate's back."

Eriol considered that for a moment. "It sounds underhanded and devious."

"Washu's helping out, too."

"Intriguing, but I don't know, Cell..."

"All of the waitresses are young, pure, uncorrupted females under eighteen."

It was getting harder for Eriol to feign disinterest. "Well..."

"Oh, heck. Tomoyo's one of them."

"Why didn't you just say that first?" Eriol smiled eerily. "Of course we'll help."

* * * * *

"See? Toldya I was done with my part!" D said proudly.

"Okay, explain this to me," Nate replied, glancing around the Dojo. He was still rather self-conscious about being seen in the Snorlax suit, especially in a place where violence was encouraged.

"Well, Nagi's the manager. She'll oversee the daily operations and take care of finances."

"No problem with that."

"For the injured, I'm having Goku bring in some regeneration tanks, and I'm still checking on a Senzu bean garden."

Nate smiled. "Good idea."

"For those that can't fight but want to learn, I hired Spike Spiegel as an instructor."

"That's fine. But you do realize that a lot of anime fighters aren't exactly human?"

D grinned. "I thought you might say that. So I hired Ryo, Rika, and their Digimon as battle consultants."

"Is that a fancy way of saying Renamon and Cyberdramon are getting paid to kill each other every day?"

"Yes."

Nate shook his head. "What else?"

"Aisha Clan-Clan graciously volunteered to be the Dojo Bouncer, but we're paying her in food, anyway. And speaking of cats, Leomon's been hanging around, and he's distracting her."

Nate groaned. "If I find one kitten, I'm having them both neutered. Leomon's not going anywhere with Juri next door, so he can be another fight consultant or Assistant Bouncer."

"Cool. How are things going on Yugi's end?"

"I honestly don't know, so I should probably get over there..."

* * * * *

"You are NOT the managers!" Tomoyo insisted.

Eriol crossed his arms over his chest, looking amused. "Yes, Tomoyo-chan, we are."

"Are NOT!"

"Are too!" Cell shouted at once.

"You're both sexist pigs!"

"And that was a sexist remark," Eriol replied. "I should sue."

"Anyway, we have girls," Cell added, looking offended.

"Where?" Tomoyo asked, already afraid.

"He means us," said a chilling voice behind her.

Tomoyo leaped into Eriol's arms as Sabrina appeared out of nowhere, carrying her living doll.

"See? Girls!" Cell pointed out.

Tomoyo whimpered a bit. "But you can't DO this! Yugi said-"

Eriol chuckled. "Yugi attempted to destroy a planet. We're taking over the Sake Bar. I hardly think she'll mind."

"And it's not like we'll POISON anyone," Cell added. "Not on PURPOSE, anyway."

"This isn't FAIR!" Tomoyo wailed.

"But all is fair in love and war, Tomoyo-chan," Eriol reminded her.

"This isn't war and it certainly isn't lo-"

"Why, Tomoyo-chan! Are you admitting that you LUST for me?"

Tomoyo glared at Eriol. "I never said that."

"Sometimes, it's what you don't say-"

"And what YOU imagine in your sick, twisted mind!"

Eriol smiled. "Do you know what I'm imagining right now?"

"Yes, and NO, there are no broom closets for you to leap out of and drag me into while I'm working."

"I would NEVER do such a thing. I prefer the art of seduction."

"Oh, just brain her and drag her off to a cave already," Cell suggested. "You're boring me."

* * * * *

"And you're sure she's as efficient as Sasami?" Yugi asked.

Washu laughed. "She's three times the worker Sasami is, and she doesn't need to sleep, eat, or stop for breaks. On top of that, she'll work for free."

"Can't say no to a deal like that." Yugi smiled at the still, silent figure beside her. "Okay, you're in!"

* * * * *

Nate had an ulterior motive for assembling the new waitresses: he wanted to be sure that he wasn't the only one dressed as a Pokémon.

So far, as promised, Sakura had donned her Clefairy outfit, while Tomoyo had finally broken down and put on a very flattering Gengar suit. Juri had gone for Vulpix duds, and Chibi Usa was a Mew.

"I can't emphasize enough that these are TEMPORARY jobs," Nate said. "The instant someone comes along with a better idea, you guys are out of here. So don't come crying to me if you're only here for a day, okay?"

"What could be better than cute girls in cute costumes?" Juri asked.

"I certainly don't know," Nate replied, "but leave it to another Writer to spoil my fun. Speaking of spoiling my fun, has anyone seen Yugi?"

* * * * *

"She's got three speeds, stainless steel hands, AND a work ethic like you wouldn't believe!"

"Well, of course she does, Yugi," Eriol replied. "She looks exactly like Sasami."

"She does not," Sasami complained. "Washu knows my nose isn't that big..."

"ANYWAY, she's the perfect janitor!" Yugi said. "This way, Sasami can focus on cooking, and Mecha Sasami can clean."

"We'd better test her first," Cell advised. "Turn her on and drop some food or something."

Yugi turned a dial on Mecha Sasami's back, then tossed a stick of gum on the floor.

There was a flash of blue and green, a strange SHRRRRK! noise, and then Cell said, "Hey, OW!!!"

Mecha Sasami had cleaned up the gum...but she'd done it so fast that she'd actually taken off Cell's arm in the process.

Cell quickly regenerated his arm before he could bleed all over the floor and risk losing more limbs. "Maybe you could slow her down a bit, Yugi?"

Yugi looked thoughtful. "I wondered how fast 'Supersonic' really was. I guess 'Old Maid' is too slow, so 'Super Sasami' should be fine."

Sasami pouted. "I still say it doesn't look like me. It wouldn't even fool a blind cabbit. Right, Ryo-Ohki?"

Ryo-Ohki yowled in agreement from her seat in Sasami's hair.

"Whatever. But don't you guys realize what this means?" Yugi asked excitedly. "We're open for business!"

"...we never really closed," Eriol added.

"You KNOW what I mean, Four Eyes!"

Cell grinned. "Now all we need is a wet T-shirt contest!"

Eriol wisely backed up as every female in the room ceremoniously blasted Cell. "I do believe you asked for that."

Cell shrugged, picking off the scorched bits. "Hey, if that's what it takes to get C-Thru Vision in here, I'd do it a million times!"

Yugi sighed. "Just ignore him. Now, everyone to your posts! Customers should be coming in soon!"

"Nobody's coming," Eriol told her quietly.

"Huh? Why?"

"I invented an extra weekday so we'd have time to get everything done."

Yugi frowned. "And that day is called?"

Eriol adjusted his glass. "Clowday."

"I am SO gonna hit you now."

-------------

Disclaimer: Too many animes to count, but none of 'em are mine.