Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.

(A/N) This takes place right after the Majin Buu Saga. Bura is not born yet, and Trunks and Goten are eight and seven.

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Goku says into the phone, "Okay, I'll be right over." He hangs up the phone and declares, "I'M GOING OVER TO VEGGIE'S HOUSE!"

ChiChi comes out of the kitchen, drying a dish, "I hope you're not going over there to spar."

Goku shakes is head, "Nuh-uh. Bulma said something really important is up and I can't tell anyone 'cuz it's a secret."

ChiChi gives him a quizzical look, "There isn't ANOTHER evil alien that wants to destroy the world, is there?"

The tall saiyan shrugs, "I dunno maybe." But then he smiles, "I hope there is. Nothing ever happens around here much anymore. I'll see you later ChiChi!"

ChiChi yells, "Wait a minute, Goku!" But he already teleported away. ChiChi growls, I do not know what to do with that man."

Gohan yells from on top of the stairs, "Mom, where did Dad go?"

"Over to Bulma's, and why aren't you studying?!"

Gohan yelps, "Yes Mom! Sorry Mom!"

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Goku teleports to Bulma's third story living room and yells, "I'm- ACK!!!" The next thing he knows he's on his back with Edward on top, pinning down his limbs.

Edward smiles, 'Hi Kaka-Chan!"

Goku's eyes widen, "Veggie?!"

Edward says brightly, "Actually I'm Edward. But you can call me Eddy! Cuz you're my beeeest frieeeend."

Vegeta moans, Ohhh...I think I'm gonna be sick.

He may not be the brightest of the bunch, but even Goku knows something's wrong. He gulps and says, "Um...Ve-"

"Eddy."

"Rrrrright. Eddy. Could you please get off me?"

Edward copies Goku's famous grin, "Of course. ANYTHING to make you happy."

Our ouji scowls, Now I KNOW I'm gonna be sick.

Edward bounces off and Goku jumps up, backing far, far, far away from Edward. Goku asks timidly, "Um...Ve- Eddy? Why are you acting so icky-mushy all of a sudden?"

Edward says thoughtfully, "I wouldn't call it icky-mushy. I'd say luvvy- duvvy!"

"Well, either way... It's not you! Why are you acting...this way?!"

Edward smiles, "'Cuz I owe my life to you. And I want you to be my bestest buddy ever," edging closer to Goku as he's speaking.

Goku says nervously, "Look, Vegeta."

"Eddy."

"No, Vegeta! I'm honored, but I've saved millions of people. It really wasn't anything special! I may even save someone I don't like."

Edward sniffles, "You don't like me?"

The larger saiyan says quickly, "I do! Don't get me wrong! I like you a lot!"

Edward smiles, yet again, "Awwww...You love me, don't you?"

Goku and Vegeta yelp, "WHAT?!"

Edward hugs Goku and says, "I love you too Kaka-Chan."

Goku shrieks, "Get off me, you psycho!" He kicks Edward away and they both fall to the ground. Goku yells, "What's wrong with you?!"

Meanwhile inside, Vegeta is screaming, YOU SICKO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! STAY AWAY FROM KAKAROT! DO YOU HEAR ME?!

Apparently not, since Edward starts crawling towards Goku and tries to smoothtalk him, "Come on Kaka-Chan. I only want to be your friend."

Goku crabwalks away, "Look, this is much more attention than I'm used to. So why don't you just STAY AWAY!"

Edward repeats almost robotically, "I only want to be your friend."

Goku soon realizes Edward has cornered him into the wall. Goku says frantically, "Veggie, just stop and think what you're doing! You hate my guts! You want me dead! Or at least you want to beat me into a pulp!"

Edward says sweetly, leaning close to Goku, "I'm not like that Kaka-Chan. I want to be your friend. I want you to be happy."

Goku puts two fingers to his head and says threateningly, "I'll leave right now! And I'll never come back!"

"Don't do that. I want you to be my friend. I want you to stay with me forever." Then he grabs Goku's arm, making it impossible for Goku to teleport without dragging him along.

Just then Mirai happens to pop into the room humming 'Over the Rainbow.' He discovers the two saiyans in the living room with Edward leaning really close to Goku, holding his arm. Needless to say, it is very...suggestive.

Mirai shrieks, "Edward! Son-San! What are you doing?!"

Goku says, "Mirai! Thank Kami you're-"

But Edward quickly cups up his mouth and says, "I was just about to check Kakarot's temperature. He doesn't look at all well. And he's been uttering such nonsense. I think he may be a tad delusional." Goku stares at Edward in horror.

Vegeta says with amazement, I don't believe it. Edward's actually sneaky and manipulative... Kind of like me... Oh Kami, no!

Mirai calms down considerably and goes over to inspect Goku's face, "He's right Son-San. You look awfully pale and sweaty."

Goku points an accusing finger at Edward, "It's his fault! He's freaking me out! I think he's trying to come onto me!"

Mirai frowns, "What?! He wouldn't do that! Edward's too nice. I think you are hallucinating."

Goku yells, "I can't believe you're believing HIM over ME! And what's up with this Edward thing?!"

Mirai says, "Well we did call you over to tell you. But in your present condition it might be too confusing for you."

"I don't have a present condition! I'm not sick! All you have to do is take my temperature! That's what ChiChi always says to check to see if you're sick or not."

Edward smiles, "That is just what I was about to do." Goku's head snaps over to his direction, and he gives Edward a suspicious look. Why would he agree?

Mirai says, "Alright. It seems rational enough. I'll go get the thermometer."

Goku yelps, running after Mirai, "No! Don't leave me with this psychopath!"

Vegeta agrees, Yeah! Don't leave him with this possessed me!

Mirai says, "Jeesh Son-San. It's only the other room." Mirai leaves, and Edward gives Goku a big, warm smile. Goku whimpers and scoots away from him.

Mirai comes back with a mercury thermometer and says, "Here we go. Open up, Son-San." Goku obeys and lets Mirai place it under his tongue to wait for a minute.

But almost immediately Goku starts to feel the thermometer warm up and even begin to burn. Mirai's eyes widen as the mercury level goes higher and higher. "100..150...200...300..." Suddenly the thermometer breaks shattering glass and mercury all over the place.

Goku looks over to Edward smiling and realizes he was using his ki to warm up the thermometer. However Mirai doesn't know and he yelps, "Son-San! Your temperature is through the roof! What are you doing out of bed?! You need rest right now!"

Goku yells, "It was Vegeta! He made the thermometer explode!"

Vegeta grumbles, It wasn't me, moron. Although the idea is very good. I need to make a mental note of that.

Mirai shakes his head sadly, "Poor, poor Son-San. Your illness must really be afflicting you. You need to be quarantined. We can't have you spread whatever you have to anyone else. You can have a spare bedroom and stay here. I'll call your family and tell them you're too sick to move."

"BUT I'M NOT SICK!"

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Goku soon finds himself in bed and pouts, "Oh phooey." Bulma comes into the room carrying a plate of cookies. Goku's eyes widen, "Ooh! Cookies!" And he grabs them as soon as Bulma sets them down on the bed stand.

Bulma smiles, "I'd say help yourself, but you already have. I'm sorry I dragged you out of your home. I didn't know you were sick."

Goku says through a full mouth, "I'm not sick."

Bulma sighs, "It's not healthy to be in denial."

"I'm not in denial! I'm not sick!"

"Yes, you are. And anything you say is not going to change my mind."

Goku pleads, "But I'm not sick!"

Suddenly Edward pops into the room, "Hello dear! Hello Kakarot."

Goku shrieks, "NO! GET THAT LUNATIC OUT OF HERE!"

Edward says calmly, "I'm no lunatic, Kakarot. I'm surprised you could say such a silly thing about me. I just came in to take care of you in your sickly state."

Goku growls, "I'm not sick and that's final! And you are INSANE!"

Bulma frowns, "Edward isn't insane. Obsessively clean and nice, yes. But he's sane alright."

Vegeta mutters, Him? Sane? That's a laugh!

Goku yells, "WHAT IS UP WITH THIS EDWARD BUSINESS!"

Bulma says, "I'd tell you, but it would be too confusing for you in your state."

Goku narrows his eyes and growls in a dangerous tone, "I'm not sick."

Edward smiles, "Don't worry dear. I'll take care of Kakarot. Go on now."

Bulma allows herself to be pushed out of the room, "Don't worry Son-Kun. You're in the very best of care."

Goku yells, "DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH HIM!"

Bulma waves, "Bye Goku. Bye Edward."

Edward gives her a slight push into the hallway, "Bye dear," and locks the door on them. He turns to Goku and smiles sweetly, "Now we're all alone Kaka-Chan. Isn't that nice? Now we can play together."

Vegeta wonders, What the hell does he mean by "play?"

Almost immediately Goku scrambles out of bed and positions himself as far away from Edward as possible, "Keep away from me! The last time ChiChi told me she wanted to play, we ended up getting Goten. And I really don't want to 'play' with you!"

Vegeta and Edward sweatdrop. Edward says, "You have a sick and disturbing mind."

Goku says, "Well I...you were acting like...I thought you were," then he sighs, "nevermind."

Edward says, "Poor Kaka-Chan. Your delusional mind must be confusing your thoughts."

Goku says, "Well maybe...But I still don't want you near me."

"Awww....Kaka-Chan. Don't be scared. I just want to be your friend."

Goku screams, "QUIT SAYING THAT!" Edward takes a step towards him, and Goku shrieks and flies up to the hanging lamp, holding on to it for dear life.

But Edward just flies up next to him and gives him his evilly sweet grin, "You can't get away that easily, my dear Kaka-Chan." Goku's eyes dart across the small room, and they rest on an open window.

He thinks, {Yes! Home free!} He jumps down and out the window ready to fly as far away as he possibly can. He sees the open sky and a smile of pure relief stretches across his face.

But then he feels a sudden jerk and is unable to move forward. He turns and sees Edward at the window holding onto...his tail! Goku moans, "What a time for that to grow back."

Edward says, "You're not going anywhere, Kaka-Chan." He gives Goku's tail a hard yank and Goku feels weak all over and collapses on the side of the building.

The possessed ouji drags Goku back inside and puts him back to bed, "Silly Kaka-Chan. No one can escape me."

Goku asks pitifully, "What do you want from me?"

Edward smiles, "I want you to be my constant companion. I want you to stay with me and never leave leave. I want you to be my best friend...FOREVER!! MUAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!" Lightning flashes behind Edward followed by a clap of thunder.

Vegeta says in awe, I hate to admit it, but even I'm scared of this guy.

Goku tries to crawl away, but Edward still has a firm hold on his tail. Goku glares at Edward, "You can't always have what you want."

Edward shakes his head slowly, "Poor, poor Kaka-Chan. You don't seem to understand. I ALWAYS get what I want." And with that he gives Goku's tail another hard yank.

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Miyanon: Hey guys! Edward is up to evil plans and even Vegeta doesn't know what they are. Meanwhile the both saiyan families are totally ignorant of the tortures that about to be inflicted on their favorite neighborhood superhero. What will happen to Goku? Who will save the day? Will Vegeta ever get his body back? Find out on the next chapter of "Split Ends!"