Disclaimer: Jigen, Lupin and all related characters are (c) Monkey Punch. Used with out permission. It's just a fanfic Don't sue me.
Warnings: Language, Angst. Yaoiish Hints.
Rated: R at best.
Additional: I wrote this at 3:00 in the morning, while waiting for some Role-play. Got the idea. It's not long. But my stories never are. If you've seen "The Mystery of Mamo." You can tie this in there. If not. It doesn't matter either. Enjoy. Please RnR.

Hopeless
By Spug


" Buddy I feel sorry for you."

Lupin smiled over his shoulder at me. He looked like shit. The wacko's earthquake had done a number on us both. On our last leg. I told him he shouldn't have gone. But he wasn't going to listen. Off to chase after that goddamned woman again.

" You're completely Hopeless."

He had ignored the bullet I had placed into the tin can just inches from his feet. I had tried to stop him. Stop him from going in after Mamo, and risking his neck for a creature that manipulated him again and again.

"Well you can count me out. This is one wild goose chase you're not dragging me into to." I had told him. I wouldn't. Not this time. I always followed Lupin everywhere. We'd been through so much shit together. Escaped the cops, the mafia. Everything. And he wanted to throw it all away to go chase after that damn woman.

I hate that woman.

But I could do nothing to stop him as he smiled over his shoulder, and began to track out of this run down place. Leaving me standing here. Alone. I still had my gun in one hand. The barrel was still smoking from the shot I had issued at him. I watched him. That long tall form, till he disappeared over the crater top, and headed into certain death.

Fuck.

I stood there. A cigarette dangling from my parted lips. That hat pulled down over my face. The wind played with everything. My hair. My beard. My suit. My Tye. It all billowed as I stood completely hopeless.

Not even the gun in my had could stop the only person I even remotely cared about, from walking away from me.

I finally moved to raise my hand to my mouth. Pulling out the wasted cancer stick. I grinded it against the heel of my boot. I should have been grinding my own heart.

I trudge slowly back toward the bar. No one else was in this town. I was alone. Lupin had gone to be a hero. And I had stayed behind. Because I could do nothing.

No matter how many times I warned him. Scolded him. Almost begged him. He went after the woman. I spitted, sneered, and the I would follow him blinding like a lost fucking puppy.

Well not this time.

I tossed my long and thin form into a empty chair. Who the fuck was I kidding? They were all empty. A fresh cigarette was pulled from my pocket. It was all I had left for my sanity. A lit it and sucked in the smoke greedily.

" I'd rather drink myself to death."

My earlier words echoed as I poured a stiff drink from an almost empty bottle of scotch. It mixed with the nicotine as I scalded my throat gulping it down.

I would have traveled to the ends of the world with Lupin. But he took the women over me. That overly busty bitch took him for everything he had, and he went crawling back to her like a babbling baby.

My god, am I Jealous?

Fuck no.

I slammed the empty glass down and lowered my head. Smoking in silence. I almost felt, at that moment. Like I could cry. But I wouldn't. I would sit here, drink, smoke. And wait for the nukes to drop.

And if they never did. Lupin would find me here. And maybe I'd be dead from poison.

That dirty rat. I went everywhere with him. Abided Fujiko's bitching, Goemon's stupid philosophy. All because he and I were such good buddies.

The second cup of scotch burned even more. I dragged on my cigarette.

We ran from the cops. Eluded Zenagata. Stole so much together. And he always chose the woman.

I.. am ..jealous.

I always followed him.

" Buddy, I feel sorry for you."

Beneath my hat I closed my eyes. It had dawned on me. Then.

"You're completely hopeless."

I stood up. And tossed the empty glass in the air. As it sailed upward, I drew my gun and fired. Sending the shards scattering and gleaming through the dim broken building.

The smoke from my cigarette and gun would be all that remained of my small disloyalment. My boot prints in the dusty sand. A ghost town, as I made my way toward the hanger bay. I'd seen a plane there.

I understood why Lupin followed after Fujiko now. I wasn't hopeless. I suffered from the same thing he did.

He followed her everywhere.

And.. I did the same.

For him.

*

A fresh cigarette dangled from my lips as I leaned over the cockpit of the small plane. Circling high above Lupin, Zenagata and Fujiko. I even smiled as his words greeted me.

" Jigen! I knew you couldn't stay away!"

I'm not hopeless. Just loyal.

The End.