Title: Until I find you again
Author: Jessica ( j_rothen@yahoo.sec )
Rating: PG
Category:V, MSR
Spoiler: Duane Barry
Archive: Whereever..Just let me know where
Feedback: Yes, PLEASE:...j_rothen@yahoo.se
Summary: "I wish I could say for certain that you will
come back to me"......
Disclaimer: The X-files, Mulder and Scully belong to FOX
and they are not mine.
Note: English is not my first language so spelling/grammar
mistakes may occur.

Sometimes when I dream you come to me.
You come to me in the shape of an angel.
You bring my soul peace.
The presence of you makes my heart leap in my chest.
I want to stay in this dream forever.
But as soon as reality knocks on my door your face starts to fade away.
I cling to you like I could save you.
But I can't save anyone.
When you leave my heart is shattered.
I die a thousand deaths every time I open my eyes and see
the morning sun.
My heart aches in my chest when I remember.
You're gone.

I wish I could say for certain that you will come back to me.
But I can't.
Months has passed by without a sign, not even a clue.
I have stopped screaming to the heavens to bring you back to me.
At first I even tried to ask your god for help.
But he wasn't listening.
We are no longer speaking.
How can I make it out here without you?
We have stumbled through darkness so many times that you would think
that I knew my way by now.
But nothing would be further from the truth.
You are my guiding light in this darkness that is my life.
I feel so scared when you're not here with me.
The world seems bigger somehow.

My hands tremble as I open the door to your apartment.
Your mum gave me a spare key to watch over the place.
This apartment has always felt more at home than my own.
I enter your living room with my heart racing in my chest.
I can feel you so strong here.
I feel so safe, like nothing could ever harm me.
I walk over to your desk and run my hand over its smooth surface.
As I stand here I can almost see you.
You entered my life in a time I needed you the most.
But I was too blind to see the angel that stepped
into my office that day.
You were like a beautiful bird that had found its way into my world.
You saved me.
You brought light into my life.
But you were taken away.
Now I'm left here broken.

I remember the first case.
We were standing in a cemetery in the middle of the night.
It was raining.
I can hardly remember what we talked about.
All I can remember is your smile.
It was the end of me.
But I was scared.
Happiness was in my reach and I hesitated.
All I had to do was to jump but I was afraid.
I let time slip away from me.
But as the days grew into months my love for you grew stronger.
I have never felt like this before.
It feels like I'm floating.
I can fly.
God, there is so much I want to tell you.
So much to say.
But my mouth feels dry when you are near.
You take my breath away.
I know it sounds silly. But it's the truth.
You have painted my world in beautiful colours.
For that I thank you.
You gave my life back to me.
You opened my eyes.
You showed my heaven.
Are you an angel?
I believe so.

Now you're gone.
Pain is my friend these days.
I'm broken in two.
I pray that you will come home soon and
heal this shattered soul of mine.
But until that day I will look for you
in my dreams.
I will hold and never let you go.
I will love you.
In the morning I will long for the night.
I will get through this.
I shall believe that you will come back to me one day.
Until then I say stay safe my love and
know that you have my heart.
I will keep it safe for you until you come back and
claim it.
I'll be seeing you.
I'll be waiting here with my arms wide open.

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