I So Want to Be You
By Deep Roller


A/N: My family is insane, INSANE I tell you. My mother lets my brother get a scorpion, but I can't have a rat. I ask you, is that fair? And it finally stung someone by the way, it stung my sister on her ankle. She made it mad because she picked it up by the pincer. If you want an idea of its length, it's about as long as two hands spread flat, and it kinda grows on you, really. You learn to love it. Anyway, I also have another plot bunny in the works, which is good...or maybe not. Has anyone else read Susan Kay's other book, Legacy? It's GREAT! And so, so funny. Well, I'll be a good girl and whip out this chapter. Hmm...I wonder what's going on now.....


Disclaimer: The only thing that's mine is the twisted, weird mind that came up with this scheme in the first place.



Erik watched Ayesha approach him from the window of the torture chamber, wringing her hands, the eyes behind the mask quite apprehensive. Whatever she had to tell him, she was expecting him to be unpleased by it, he could tell. Then the shouts reached his ears, the shouts of the vicomte and Christine. Something was wrong. "Ah....Erik....I ah, have something to tell you. Well, ask you, really."

"Yes? What is it Ayesha?" He asked, looking quite suspiciously at the window to the other room.

"How do you...how do you turn down the temperature? And how do you open the door?"

"You did WHAT??!" Erik roared, leaping out of the chair and once again tripping over his skirts as he got up. Oh hell, if he ever wanted back before, it was nothing compared to what he was feeling now. He had spent half his day on the ground already! Crawling swiftly to the network of buttons and levers, he hauled himself up and looked at them all. A slow dawning of understanding came over him, and he looked over his shoulder. "Ayesha, come here." He said calmly, still hoping that maybe she had been mistaken. When he felt her standing behind him, he looked over his shoulder and pointed. "Please, tell me which of these you touched."

"I...this one..." She indicated the lever that had been pulled, tapping it lightly. The change on Erik's face was incredible, one minute he was collected, the next he was his demented raging self. Only, his rage didn't come out quite as he had planned it. For some unexplained reason, he was crying. "Erik, what's wrong?"

"This is the absolute WORST form in the world. I can't believe this!" Erik shouted between sobs. "I'm not even in a mood to be crying, and....oh God, no wonder she sniffles and leaks all the time, it's like it can't be helped!"

"But the lever?" Ayesha asked apprehensively.

"There's no way out for them now, no way at all. Once that lever is pulled, the temperature begins to rise, and once it reaches a certain degree, then the door will open. But it will be too late, by then." He shook his head and peered in. They were sweating now. He tapped on the glass as hard as he could, to get someone's attention. The vicomte looked up and saw the white, bleeding, broken countenance of Christine and rushed over.

"Christine!! What has he done to you? Christine, are you okay?" He shouted up, as loud as he could. "I'll rescue you, I will. Oh, the monster, he promised to let us out, but he just cruelly raised the temperature!" Raoul called, aware that she probably couldn't hear. The REAL Christine, from within the daroga's body, rolled her eyes. She supposed since he did not know the whole story he had his right to assumptions, but couldn't he leave Erik a wee bit of room, a margin of error? Not that he needed it, but was it always so fair to jump to conclusions. ~I've misjudged Erik myself, but it seems different when another is doing it.~ She thought before tapping Raoul on the shoulder.

"Monsieur, do not judge Erik so harshly. Surely he has some flaws, but can he truly be condemned?"

"You forgive him for his wrongs? For what he is doing to us now? My God, man, you forgive him for boiling us alive?"

"Yes." She said simply, knowing that if she had replied, 'No, I forgive the cat for being caught in Erik's body and not knowing what lever to push to get us out', he would have thought her incredibly insane. "Yes, I do. He is not as bad as all that, for all his faults." ~He really isn't....~ She admitted to herself. Boy, she was beginning to get thirsty now.

"Erik, listen to me, is there any other way to let them out? Anything you can think of?" Ayesha asked, almost in a panic. She raised her hand to her mouth and began nibbling on the nail.

"Don't do that, I like my fingernails." Erik replied mildly, looking around, racking his brain for anything that might work. And then....he had it. "There is a release hatch that opens the door. A knob, but the other knob will flood the place. I don't want to flood it, but it's our only chance. Oh, I put those in so long ago I can't remember which one opens the cursed door." He began pacing, heading for the knobs. On the way he paused and peered in at the helpless people pacing the chamber. His eyes fell on Raoul, but strangely the white hot spear of jealousy did not lodge in his heart now when he looked at him. He didn't begrudge the boy anything now, because he hadn't just been around Christine, he had BEEN Christine, he WAS the girl, and now he had had his fill, and more. Another spill from the skirts and he'd go flipping insane.

"Well, did you write it down someplace?" Ayesha asked, following him as he silently evaluated the knobs, one a scorpion, the other a grasshopper, which glittered mutely in the low light. Nadir, unable to contribute to the conversation, sat atop the table and lashed his tail in displeasure.

"No, I didn't." Erik bit his lip as he deliberated, one hand smoothing the scorpion, and then moving to the grasshopper. One of them would open the door, the other might drown them all. Did he even think of a rhyme or a little identification to help him remember? No, he didn't! Nothing! Not even, G is for grasshopper as it glugs down the lake, or something stupid like that. Something, something.

"Wait." Ayesha said suddenly, laying her hand on his arm. "I want to know something first."

"Ayesha, they're dying in there!" Erik protested. "I have to think about this!"

"They can stay a minute, Erik. Please, you never told me what YOU wished for. Maybe that could stop this all. I won't get mad, just tell me." Erik looked down, she would get mad, he knew it. And soon none of them would be alive to save Christine and that insufferable boy. It was partly his fault, the boy's. "Look at me." She said softly, trying to get him to look up.

"I wished, I wished that I was the boy, the vicomte. I just wanted one day to be near Christine without feeling the intense wash of tenseness and pity that I do when she's with me. I got way more than I bargained for, I got enough of Christine to last me fifty lifetimes, and now I'm better. As I look at the boy even now, I don't feel the seething jealousy anymore. I got my wish, in a way. I don't have the fixation, I don't need her anymore."

"Well, that's good. So it can just be you and me again, then?" She asked, still standing close to him. Nadir mrorrwed in protest, and she grinned at him. "Well, I suppose you can stay too." She said with a smile. At Erik's nod, she beamed. "Good! Though there's always something I've wanted to do, something cats can't really do at all." Curious, Erik blinked and looked up at her.

"What's that, Ayesha?" He asked, watching her curiously. Instead of answering, she bent down and kissed Erik lightly on the forehead, wrapping her arms around him. It was the most incredibly weird sensation ever in his entire life, really. He was giving himself a kiss, but it wasn't him, it was his cat. He had never realized that she was even more deprived than himself, though he often found himself wondering whether she could talk. He closed his eyes to better analyze this weirdness, never in a million years did he think he'd be kissed, certainly not while in another body, or by his cat! But something began to feel different as time went on. Or felt like it went on. It all must have taken about forty seconds, at the maximum. It seemed an eternity that they stayed that way.

"Erik?" A querulous voice asked him. His eyes flew open and he found that he was holding onto Christine, at least, he thought it was. She was within the circle of his arms and they were very very close. He looked down, was he himself? Yes, he was! It was so incredibly wonderful to be back!

"Is it you, Christine?" He asked, almost in wonder of the whole thing. He was relieved that the corset was gone, that he could finally take in the required amount of air. And he didn't have six tons of hair plastered to his scalp anymore. Not to mention how good he felt, not scratched, not bruised. But boy, looking at her from the outside he had really beat Christine's body up today.

"Yes," she said quietly, "it's me. Erik, I've done some thinking....and I'm sorry for the way I behaved to you. From the outside, it just seemed so hard, and I couldn't choose, and I know you love me so..." Looking at him, she reached up and gave him the second kiss he had received all night, removing his mask in the process and smiling as she pulled back. "And I realized that sometimes we can all be misunderstood." Erik was just amazed, flat out amazed. Anything else and he might keel over, ending it all. Christine was reconciling with him, she had even kissed him, without his mask! In spite of recent events, that still held a good precedence in his mind, made him smile to himself. But before he could speak to answer her, he felt something furry twined around his ankles, and he looked into the deep blue eyes of his cat. And he thought....

"Christine, what made you change your mind so quickly?"

"I had a revelation, I realized that sometimes people jump to too many conclusions without knowing the whole truth. And...I didn't know the truth before, I didn't suspect. It took a look outside myself to know, I want to stay and know more!!" Ayesha's blue eyes, for he was sure she had returned to her own self, seemed to stare up at him accusingly. And he remembered a snatch of conversation.

~So it can be just you and me again?...~ She had asked, and he had answered.

~I don't need her anymore...~ All Ayesha had ever wanted was to be more to him than an animal. He could see it in her eyes now, as she sat and looked at him. It was HIS choice to make, now. She gave a small little mrowr and rubbed her head against his ankle lovingly. He didn't need to be near Christine anymore, and now he knew how Ayesha felt, he knew it. It was time to make his choice.

"It's been a long day Christine. I want you to have a safe, free life. You want to know more now, but what about when this wears off, when it seems like a long, horrid dream?" He asked, spreading his hands wide. She was still holding on to his shoulders, and her face fell a little. "You can come back, if you like, anytime. Just...just promise me you'll go with him, people would wonder. He's....he's not so bad." ~It almost makes me ill to say that. But it makes me even more ill to look at those skirts...~ "My God! I forgot about them!" He suddenly exclaimed, turning back to the scorpion and the grasshopper. Puzzled and very put out, Christine followed his attention.

"What are these, Erik?" She asked, absently turning the grasshopper in contemplation. "Faucets? Hmm...don't turn anything on." A sudden noise echoed through the halls as the lake began to flood.

"Damn, it's going to flood the torture chamber. Well, they'll be out soon enough, the window hatch will be activated. We just have to wait." Erik murmured, looking at Christine wonderingly. "Do you want to get cleaned up in the meantime? Perhaps..."

"I'd rather wait for them, if that's okay." At his nod, she sighed in relief and touched her forehead absently. "Erik, why did you give me such a horrendous headache?"

"Christine," Erik answered, hearing the wet slap of the recently evacuated torture chamber victims, "wear shorter dresses and it won't happen ever again."



~*~

Epilogue....


"Nadir," Erik remarked thoughtfully as they sat around the small coffee table in the dining room, "how did you know about the boy? How did you know he would...help us?"

"I didn't." Nadir replied simply, sipping the tea and smiling lightly. "It was a mere guess on my part. I had heard you whispering about the boy and how much you despised him, and I didn't know how exactly he fit into the puzzle, but it seemed to work."

"Indeed. Well, when I laid eyes on him I realized I didn't want his life, and I didn't need to be someone else. If ever I have a desire to be someone else, I'll remember this. Being a woman can be awful sometimes. But it does have its good points..."

"Which are?"

"Well, I was able to scream louder, for one, and I got away with slapping someone, for another. But that's about all I can think of at the moment." A heavy weight suddenly landed on him as Ayesha leapt into his lap and curled happily, securely. She began to purr and Erik smiled indulgently. "No, I'll never leave you be, Ayesha. Oh, and another question, Nadir." Erik asked with a congenial laugh as he himself drank down his cup.

"Yes?"

"Why in heaven's name did you scratch me?"

"I didn't know it was you, and then when you called me darling and tried to pick me up, I got scared. Christine Daae is a big scary giant to a little cat. Plus, you were soaking and I didn't want to get my fur wet. Being a cat can be terrifying." He looked at Ayesha, lolling and kneading her claws into Erik's knee possessively, and grinned. "But it does have its upside as well."

"Yes, yes it does. And she wouldn't let us forget it for the world." Erik remarked, petting the cat and letting his fingers itch behind her ears. Twisting her head just a little bit to look him square in the eye, Ayesha's blue regard seemed to affirm that thought as she slowly and happily began to purr.



THE END.


A/N: Yay! Another story completed! I hope everyone liked it, please leave your name, number, and mailing address in case I decide to send you a nice, stingy surprise. I think it's going to lay eggs, dear God. Anyone want a scorpion, huh? C'mon...you don't have to walk 'em...oh, never mind. (grumbles and marches off to start her next story)