Author's Note: Has anyone watched 'Monty Python And The Holy Grail'? Well, all this should ring a bell if you if you have. This is based on the first series. Not the new ones. Enjoy!

The Decepticon Taunters

By Charles Xavier

The rocky mountain was huge. On top sat the home of where the Decepticons stayed.

"Megatron!" Optimus Prime yelled up at the large base complex. The Autobots stayed with their leader and looked up at the small head that popped out above the large metal gates.

"Hello, Autobot types with your silly leader!" Megatron laughed.

"Surrender now, Megatron." Said Optimus Prime. "All of us Autobots have gathered to come here and face your army! There will be trouble if you insist on fighting."

"You don't frighten us, Autobot pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose on you so-called Optimus Prime, you and your silly Autobot kniggets!"

The Autobots frowned while the mad Megatron put his hands to his ears and spat.

"I think he's really gone off his head this time." Said Bumblebee.

"Now, listen, Megatron..." Optimus was interrupted again.

"I don't want to talk to you, no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!"

"You've given us no choice." Optimus equipped his gun. "We're coming to thwart your evil deeds!"

"Buzz off, smelly daffy Autobot kniggets, and Mr. Optimus Prime, who has the brain of a duck, you know!" Megatron cackled. "We Decpeticons outwit you again, perfidious Autobot mousedropping hoarders!"

"Your days of destruction are over!" Optimus exclaimed. "I command you, in the name of humanity, to open these gates to which fate has guided us!"

Optimus gave the signal to the Autobots. They turned into their vehicle forms and drove up the high mountain to the front of the entrance.

"How you Autobots say, I one more time, mac!" Megatron shouted. "I unclog my nose towards you, sons of a window-dresser, so you think you could out-clever us Decepticon fellows with your silly knees-bent creeping about advancing behavior! I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy lot of second handed, brightly colored, mealy-templed, cranberry-smelling, electric donkey-bottom biters!"

The Autobots reached the gates.

"Come out, you coward! I demand you show yourself now!" Optimus hammered his fist on the metal doors. Megatron descended down and his head appeared right above his intruders, who stared at him back.

"No chance, Autobot bed-wetting types. We burst our pimples at you, and call your door-opening request a silly thing, you tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms!"

The other Decepticons way up the complex laughed.

"That settles it then!" Optimus Prime boomed. "Follow me, Autobots!"

Optimus took for the air and left the ground, hoping to get into the enemies' base by flying over. But the Decepticons were prepared for an attack such as this. Multiple long cannons appeared from the empty holes of the great blocking wall.

"Fire!" Megatron ordered.

Chunks and liquids of animal crap were fired upon the Autobots. On top the Decepticons threw down farm animals like cows, lambs, pigs, chickens, turkeys and ducks, along with more large bags of crap. Throughout the struggle Megatron watched from his little peep hole.

"RUN AWAY!" Optimus yelled.

"Yes! Depart a lot at this time, and cut the approaching any more or we fire lasers into the tops of your heads and make castanets out of your testicles already!"

"Just ignore them." Optimus whispered to his friends.

"Now remain gone, illegitimate-faced bugger folk! And if you think you got a nasty taunting, you ain't heard nothing yet, daffy kniggets and Optimus Prime Esquire!"

The Decepticons laughed more and started jeering at the Autobots.

"You couldn't catch clap in a brothel, silly Autobot kniggets!"

Optimus led the the Autobots down the hill, trying not to listen to the dense headed Decepticons anymore.

Author's Note: Sorry for any errors.

E-mail: charlesxavier85@hotmail.com .