Jack-o-Kitt

"Michael! What is that?!" There was a loud thump that echoed in the semi as Michael popped a jack-o-lantern on Kitt's hood. "That, my friend, is a pumpkin, or to be more exact it's a jack-o-lantern. It's traditional to carve a jack-o-lantern for Halloween. I haven't missed a year. What do you think, pal? Fine craftsmanship, huh?" Kitt scanned the pumpkin one more time. "I think you should get that thing off my hood. As for the craftsmanship, the knife you used was not sharp enough, the edges are jagged and one eye is point six nine inches smaller then the other." Michael frowned as he picked up the lantern, stuck a candle in it and plopped it down near the entrance to the semi. Fishing a pack of matches out of his pocket he lit the candle. "That's one." He said as he walked back to Kitt. "What do you mean, 'That's one.'?" "Well, Kitt. Devon's decided that this year, we're gonna open the Foundation's gates for trick- or-treaters. He thinks it'll do FLAG's image good, if we, how did he put it, "come out in the open" every now and then. He's given me the job of decorating the outside of the Knight mansion in the Halloween theme. With Bonnie out visiting her parents and no cases for us, I though why not. I used to love Halloween as a kid. That's the first decoration I've put up, there's plenty more where that came from." Kitt started his engine and rolled out. "I've accessed my databanks on Halloween. The trick-or-treaters that you mentioned, they're children who dress up in costumes and beg for candy, right?" "Well, not BEG exactly. The come up to the doors and recite a small poem. They're given candy as a reward. It's en eve out that you're allowed to stay up late and have a good time."

Michael and Kitt had gotten to the front steps of the mansion and Kitt scanned the boxes. "You have your work cut out for you. There are plenty of decorations in those." Michael opened the first box. "Yeah so it seems, buddy. But I should have some help, where's Dev." The main doors of the mansion swung open and an eerie green light filtered out from behind a dark- clad figure. The figure raised his arms up high and spoke with a very British sounding accent. "Devon has made a very hasty departure. Could I lend a hand?" With that he withdrew a very real looking human hand from underneath his clock. "Very good Devon, but you do not fool my sensors. Where on earth did you get that horrid thing from?" Kitt said lighting up the plastic hand with one of his headlights. Devon gave a short laugh and made his way over to Kitt and Michael. "It's amazing what you can find at your local grocery store at Halloween time." Devon turned to Michael. "Well, my boy. Have I finally succeeded in making you speechless?" Michael took a step back. "I'm not sure which is more scary: you actually dressed like that or the fact that you went to a grocery store. Who are you supposed to be anyhow?" Devon looked a little hurt. "Jack-the-Ripper of course. One of the worst serial killers in Britain's history. Well, enough chatter. We've work to do." Michael cast a glance at Kitt, shrugged his shoulders and went to help Devon with the decorations.

By the time the first trick-or-treaters started to arrive the Knight mansion looked quite eerie. Devon had had the garden's lamplights changed from the normal white to green and tens of jack-o-lanterns (Michael had just carved one, the rest had been ordered and delivered) greeted the candy- hungry trick-or-treaters. Devon had also had an ad out in the local newspaper announcing that the Knight mansion was open to trick-or-treaters. Kitt had parked in his usual parking space where he would remain inconspicuous yet be able to watch the evening's proceedings. Kitt watched Michael exit from the side door of the mansion. If he could have died laughing he would have. "WHAT are you supposed to be, Michael?" Michael grinned and took up a wide stance. "Swamp Fox at your service." Kitt scanned Michael's costume one more time. "Shouldn't the costumes be scary? Isn't that the point?" "No. Kitt on Halloween, you can pretend to be anyone you want to. Some dress up as goblins or ghosts, some want to be a princess for a night. Besides why are you hiding here? Come out and join the party!" Kitt was a bit surprised at that. "I thought with so many people coming here it would be best if I kept a low profile." Michael opened Kitt's driver's side door and sat down. "Kitt, this is one party you most certainly can join. People expect the unexpected tonight. A self-moving car is nothing compared to some of the stuff people dream up on Halloween. You're gonna need a costume though." Kitt watched Michael get *that look* in his eye. "No, I don't need a costume. I'm perfectly happy being a Trans Am. Besides, no costume would fit me anyhow and thank goodness for that!" "You sure Kitt? I could get you one of those overhaul kits they use to make mini Ferraris of Beetles?" "You wouldn't, Michael?" Michael grinned again and got out. "Come on." he said patting the roof, "the kids will love you, just don't talk ok, that might be a bit over the top."

Kitt started the engine and followed Michael to the door. About halfway there a group of eight kids walked through the open gates. They were clearly headed towards the door to trick-or-treat. They were all dressed up in costumes. One of the kids noticed Michael and Kitt walking towards the door and soon the group had surrounded them. They didn't seem to have a problem with the black car following Michael. "Trick-or-treat!!!" Michael smiled. "Treat of course. Let me go inside to get the candy." Kitt turned off his motor but left his scanner active. "Devon! Devon!" Michael received no answer. He turned back to the waiting children. "Umm, my boss has the candy, I've got to go find him." The children's faces turned from expectant to annoyed. "So you're saying you don't have any candy?" The oldest one of the group spoke up. "No, I'm not saying that at all! I just said that." "Yeah right, that your BOSS has the candy! Like right! Look mister, we may be kids, but we're not stupid. No treat, THEN TRICK!" Michael's eyes widened as the kids opened their trick bags. "Let's get his car!"

Splat! An egg hit Kitt's windshield. Splat! Another found it's target on the hood and another still on the left T-top. One of the kids fished around his backpack and produced a roll of toilet paper. With a practised hand he tossed the roll over the Knight Two Thousand. With a final howl of victory the trick-or-treaters turned and ran off giving one of the mansion's perfectly trimmed pine trees a toilet paper ornament.

Despite being an operative for FLAG and used to taking quick action, Michael hadn't moved a muscle. He watched the kids run from the mansion's grounds no doubt to tell others that the place was not worth visiting. For even though they had decorations, the boss had eaten the candy. Michael watched the children disappear and then turned to Kitt. The egg was already drying on the MBS. "Kitt, I'm sorry." "Don't say a word, Michael, not a word. You didn't warn me about THIS side of Halloween!" Devon walked up to the door in his costume and a bowl of candy. He walked to Michael's side. "Where are the kids." Devon's gaze fell on Kitt. "Oh." "You're a bit late, Devon. The kids already left and they left behind some presents too. Where were you?" Devon walked out to the pine tree and gave a small tug to the toilet paper. Half of it came down, the other half stayed up in the tree. "I was refilling the candy bowl in the kitchen. There was a large group of kids here while you where changing into your um, Swamp Fox costume. They emptied the first bowl out." Devon and Michael turned to look at Kitt. Without another word the turbine engine hummed to life. Kitt did a 180 and speed back to his garage.

The next day. A yellow cab pulled up to the front of the garage. Bonnie collected her bags, paid the driver and walked into the dark garage. She hit the lights and stopped dead. Her gaze had rested on Kitt or rather on the egg and toilet paper. Dropping her bags, she balled her hands into fists and stalked inside. Michael awoke to having Bonnie standing almost on top of him. She did not look happy. Very slowly Michael pulled the covers over his face. Bonnie - angry - now THAT was scary!

Happy Halloween 2002!