Author: Babychan
email. baby_chan1778@yahoo.com
Title: It started With a Nightmare
Series: Comic
Rating: R
Disclaimer: X-men and all its characters do NOT belong to me.
Summery: Scott's POV. A little story of how Scott and Ororo started their relationship and the years there after.
It Started With a Nightmare
I'm hanging out in the back entertainment room and watching TV. It's about 11pm and nothing good is playing on our 300 channels, but that doesn't bother me. I'm not really here to watch TV anyway. I'm here because I'm waiting for someone.
It's not long before I hear one of the heavy double doors open and close, but I pretend to take no notice of it.
"Anything good on?
My head snaps to the left. That was not the voice of the person I was expecting to come in here.
"Um...no" I admit sheepishly. I'm taken off guard by his amiable attitude. It's been about a month since I yelled at him, but for that he has forgiven me. Its his *new* anger towards me that makes me distrustful of his affable disposition.
It is what he walked in on yesterday morning that has him pissed off at me again. Honestly though, what he saw was as innocent as apple pie, but he took our precarious position the wrong way.
Ever since that night when I allowed Ororo to find comfort in holding me, I've decided to stay down here and watch late movies. Not because I want to see them, because I don't. The only reason I am here night after night is because I know *she* would be down here, fighting the urge to sleep.
Ororo's no dummy though. Let me make that clear. She knew what I was doing all along, but she never told me to get lost.
Ok, that's not true.
She did tell me to get lost and in a lot of colorful different ways too. However, I knew she didn't mean it. So despite her protest, I stayed and pretended to be interested in whatever show we were watching as I secretly watched her fall asleep from the recliner chair I usually sat on.
It hurt watching her because night-after-night I had to watch her have nightmare after nightmare. I didn't dare try to wake her from them or comfort her. I didn't want a repeat of the first night. So I kept my distance and figured if she wanted me to help her, she would come to me. I just kept close to her because I wanted to make sure that she knew I was there for her. After about a week, she finally came around and allowed me to sit on the couch with her. Two nights later, I was her personal Scott pillow.
Its been like that ever since.
That's what Hank walked in on yesterday morning.
I was sleeping in a sitting position but Ororo's head was resting on my lap. It looked bad, yes I know, but she had rested her head there herself, after I feigned sleep.
I swear!
Ro doesn't realize that I don't sleep until I know she is sleeping peacefully. However, I have no idea what happened to the pillow that separated her head from my legs from the time I fell asleep to the time when we both were waken up by Hank that morning. All I know is that her arms were wrapped around my waist and her face was snuggled against my crotch. Then to make it look even worse, my hand was resting in her hair in a way that it looked like I was holding her head there.
To tell you the truth, after we both woke up, I wasn't worried about the irate blue beast that was giving me a look that could kill. No, I was worried about Ororo putting a lightening bolt up my ass.
"So if nothings on..." Hanks begins, pulling me out of my thoughts. "What are you still doing up? It's late...you should get some rest. The professor says we have early training in the morning."
I watch Hank take the closest seat to the couch I am sitting on.
I know, just by him being here that he knows why I'm here. He knows that Ororo will be here any minute. So I can handle this situation one of two ways. I can either lie to him or tell him the truth and that I'm down here to be his ex-girlfriends teddy bear.
I decide to lie. It's really none of his business anyway.
"Thanks for the concern...but I think I will hang out for a while longer." I watch him fight to control his irritation at my words.
"But you said yourself that there is nothing on..."
"Hank, do you have a problem with me wanting to watch TV?"
"No. I just want to know why you're doing it down here?" He shrugs, trying to convince me that his question is innocent. "You never used to watch TV down here before?"
"Things change" I answer as I shrug and reach for the popcorn bowl I put on the table earlier. He doesn't realize that two can place this game.
"That's just it." He prods. "Why now?"
"Because last time I checked this was relatively free country.... Even for mutants." My tone and my sarcasm are sharper than I intended, but it's too late to fix it now.
He's taken back, but quickly schools his shock into anger and cuts right to the chase. "What are your intentions with Ororo, Scott?"
I have to admit that *is* a good question. And I'm not sure how to answer it because *I'm* not exactly sure anymore. At first, I did this because I wanted to make amends. I was a leader that failed his teammate. But now...things are just different.
"She's my friend, Hank." I answer sternly. "I'm just making sure she's ok."
"Friends?" He repeats skeptically.
"Yes." I answer defensively.
"Riiiight."
Behind my goggles, I roll my eyes and continue to eat my popcorn. I have to be careful not to eat all of it in my attempt to ignore Hank. My bowl of popcorn is usually Ororo's excuse to sit next to me, right before she falls asleep.
The room is quite, save the noise coming from the TV, but the tension in here is as thick as mud. I force myself not to look at him, but I wish he would leave. I really do. His presence in here is only going to distress Ro even more.
I know he's distressing me.
It's times like this were I wish I could were my uniform 24/7. Petty things like this never bother me when I'm in Cyclops mode.
It isn't long before we are joined by the person who is the root of Hanks and my polite animosity. We both turn towards her when she enters.
Ororo pauses in her step when she notices Hank in the room. She then looks at me and I can see the unspoken question in her eyes. I give her a barely noticeable shrug of my shoulders, silently telling her that I have no idea why he is in here.
I honestly expect her to turn around and leave, but she surprises me and sits on the couch. Right next to me, to be precise. I try to act like her behavior is completely normal. *Try* is the operative word. Usually she sits on the furthest end of the couch and gradually scoots closer when she is just about to fall asleep.
"Popcorn?" I offer to her just to make some noise. The silence in the room is deafening.
She shakes her head no and keeps her attention on the TV. After about 10 minutes, she asks. "Scott, what *are* you watching?"
"It's called the Duke's of Hazard." I inform as casually as I can, considering this awkward not -exactly-love triangle we are in.
"I don't care what its called" She snaps playfully. "Change it! The last thing I want to see is a bunch of red necks screaming about pork ribs and fried chicken. "
Despite this uncomfortable situation, I laugh. This is part of our nightly ritual. We argue about what's on the tube. I now realize that Ro wants to play things out like we usually do.... And that I can accommodate.
"Well, considering I was here first AND that I have the remote..." I raise said item and shake it in her face. When she makes a half-hearted grab for it, I quickly tuck it under my butt and laugh. "To the victor goes the spoils, my dear. And the victor wants to watch Duke's of Hazard!"
She crosses her arms, pokes out her bottom lip and pouts.
"Nope!" I laugh again and shift my gaze away from her. I have to admit that look on her is completely adorable. "That's not going to work on me *again*, Miss Munroe!"
Through my peripheral I can see a hurt look on Hank's face as he watches us. I feel bad for what I am doing to him right now. Inwardly, I hope I never have experience what he is going through. I hope that I never have to watch the woman I love flirt with another man because I think it would kill me.
Despite Hank's anguish, I also understand that Ororo has her own personal reasons to want to keep her distance from him.
Then there are *my* reasons for *wanting* to make sure they stay apart? My feelings for her are becoming so confused. I'm not even sure why I have these types of feeling. What's more, I don't even know when my motives started to change but ...they have.
"Anyways" I tease and look at her. "I would think that you would enjoy this show... considering.."
"That I was a car thief?" She asks and turns to look at me.
She's looking at me dead in my eyes. I don't know how she can do that without a shred fear. No one else can. Even though they try not to let my mutation scare them, everyone else is afraid that my ray vision might break through my glasses. They try though, I'll give them that much. But no else, besides Ro, can look me in the eyes completely unafraid. She'll never know how much I appreciate that.
"W-well...yeah." I admit sheepishly. Oh God I'm stuttering and to make it worse, I can feel my cheeks heating up with a blush.
I'm not sure if she notices, but she returns her attention to the screen and points at it. "Yeah..well.. maybe I would enjoy it if they didn't use toy cars during the car chases!"
I turn my attention to the screen and lo and behold, a toy car was jumping the ravine. I sigh and reach under my butt and give her the remote "Ok ,fine you win."
"Don't I always?" Ororo smirks victoriously as she snatches the remote out my hands and changes it to the Oxygen channel. "Oh!... That's right! I forgot I wanted to see this!"
Just fucking great. Now I'm going to be watching a chick flick and those things are usually long as hell. There really should be a law against an all women's channel.
That's when Hank seems to have had enough of our playful banter. But instead of leaving like I want him too, he starts talking.
"Scott, I got an email from Jean today!"
I look at Ro from the corner of my eye to see if she reacts to the mention of Jean. Nope. It didn't bother her in the least. I'm glad, but a part of me is sorta disappointed that she didn't give a reaction ,at all. I then give my full attention to Hank.
I know his game and I'm not playing.
"I got one too?" I admit. "She sends one to everyone. That reminds me... " I look at Ororo. "Jean was wondering why you don't email her back, Ororo?"
"I don't know how." She admits with no shame, while still watching TV. "I'm computer illiterate."
"Oh" Both Hank and I say at the same time.
I know what his intelligent brain is thinking, but I beat him to the punch.
"If you want...I'll teach you."
"Whatever floats your boat, Slim." She says absently. She is completely focused on the movie. I can tell she is trying to ignore us on purpose.
Hank then literally growls at my good fortune And I mean he growls LOUD.
*That* got her full attention. She looks at him. I have no idea what she is thinking but a look of pure fright graces her features for a couple of seconds.
"Umm...Scott.." she says softly and stands up. I can tell that she wants to get out of here.
I stand up too. I'm not sure what she wants me to do, but whatever it is.... I'll do it, because I am so pissed by Hank's behavior that I want to blast him! He *knows* how skittish she is and that she is fighting that fear every second of everyday! What the hell was he thinking growling like that? Like some sort of possessive rabid beast!
Hank stands up too. His hands are out, pleading. He knows that he just fucked up. "Ororo...I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."
She puts her hand up to stop him. "Hank...I'm sorry too....but what we had before..." She shakes her head regretfully and looks at him woefully. "I'm sorry... but we can't go back. I know how much you want to but....I can't give you what you need."
Before the blue beast could say anything else, she runs out of the room. He tries to follow, but I step in front of him and stop him.
"Scott! Get out of my way! I need to apologize for what I just did!"
"You've already apologized" I remind sternly. Again, I am in Cyclops mode and I wasn't even aware I made the switch. Perhaps I don't need the uniform after all.
"Scott! " He pleads. I've never heard him sound so desperate before. "I just want to help her."
"Then back off." This time my voice is much gentler.
I can only imagine what he is feeling right now. As I look at him, I can remember how happy he was when Ro showed a romantic interest in him. How surprised he was that she chose him over of the rest of us. She was his first girlfriend. She was his beauty to his beast. She was his first love... And it was taken away from him because of that fucking Project. I feel sorry for him...
But my first priority is still Ro.
"Hank...she's been through a rough time... She just needs her space right now."
"But not from you!" He growls jealously, then shakes his head regretfully. "I'm sorry...It's just ...What are your intentions with her?"
Great. Now we're back to *that* question.
"She's my friend and I'm worried about her."
"Are you sure that's all she is, Scott?" He asks accusingly. "Because if you've forgotten, you already have a girlfriend in Jean."
My eyes narrow dangerously even though I know he can't see them. "What are you getting at, Hank?"
"I'm not getting at anything. I'm just saying that I was very surprised when I got my email from Jean today. Because *apparently* she didn't know anything about your new and *friendly* relationship with Ororo."
Ok, now I'm really pissed! Just because he lost *his* girlfriend, he's now trying to destroy *my* relationship! What a bastard! He *knows* how much I love Jean and that I would *never* cheat on her! But before I could even say or do anything, that agile blue bastard slips out of the room and runs off to who knows where.
God, I'm so angry! I swear I am going to blast the hell out of him tomorrow, in training! But right now.... I need to go and call my girlfriend. I need to set the record straight because who knows what that bastard said to her.
What I don't expect to see, upon arriving at my room, is Ororo. She is sitting on the floor and her back is resting against my door. When she sees me, she gives a sheepish smile.
"Umm... Do you need something, Ororo?"
I really hope she doesn't. I know this is selfish, but my first priority right now is to call Jean. Hank may have just ruined a relationship that I have put...God how many years? Let's see.... I met Jean when she was 24...so I was 14.....and I am 20 now. So I put in SIX YEARS! I pinned over that woman for SIX years and Hank may have destroyed everything I worked so hard for, with one jealous email!
I hate him!
I look at Ororo, waiting for her answer with an impatient expectance.
She looks up at me then gets up and shakes her head no. "Forget it...I just thought..."She shook her head again. "Never mind."
Dammit! For the first time she really is asking for my help and what do I do? I blow her off. I know it had to be hard for her to come to my quarters. It wasn't like she could lie and say she was passing by. There is no reason for her to be over here because my room is the only room on this wing and floor.
Sometimes I can be such a bastard.
"Ororo!" I call out to her just as she pushes the down elevator button.
"Forget it!" She snaps, not even bothering to spare me a glance.
That's when my priorities change and I find myself stalking down the hall to catch her before she gets into the elevator. When I reach her, I'm tempted to grab her by the shoulders and make her face me but I don't . I know better.
"What do you want?"
She's looking at me in the eyes again. However, the look she is giving me now...I'd really rather not be on the receiving end of. She's pissed. Then I think about what she just said.
What do *I* want?
She's the one who came up here!
*Now* what am I supposed to say?
Ding. The elevator door opens.
Think, THINK Scott! she is about to leave!
"Hank is looking for you."
Now I don't know if that is true or not because I don't know where the blue bastard ran off too. That was just the first thing that popped up in my head. So I blurted it out. But apparently it worked because she pauses in her step and doesn't get into the elevator.
"Umm...Scott?"
She looks afraid to ask but that doesn't matter because I already know what she wants...what she needs. So I decide to make it easier for her.
"Ororo, do you want me to...you know...show you how to use the computer?...I mean.. if you don't mind...coming into my room?"
She looks up at me and gives me a grateful smile.
I try not to blush, but I fail miserably.
It's not until after I lead Ro into my bedroom, and after my gaze falls on the sight of my girlfriend's picture on my computer desk, do I realized the momentous mistake I have just made.
What the hell was I thinking?! I mean...What the hell am I thinking! If anyone finds out about this and tells Jean, she is going to flip! I'm serious. If she finds out about this, any and all chances I may have had to make amends with her are now lost. There is no way she is going believe that Ororo and I are just *friends* now that I've brought her into my room!
Jean knows me better than anyone, and she knows that my room is like holy ground to me. I *don't* let people in here. EVER. This is *my* space. And I covet it. In the orphanage, I had to share a room with a dozen other kids, then after I ran away, I had to live on the streets. I can't remember anything before my head injury so this is the only room I know that belongs to just me. Its *mine* and I don't like my space invaded. Even Jean has only been allowed in here three times, and that was when I just moved into the mansion. And I've been in love with *her* since the moment I was able to see her!
So for me to allow Ro in here.
Oh shit! I just fucked up my relationship big time.
I watch Ororo slowly walk around my space. As she assesses my belongings, she lightly drags her fingers over my dresser, my stereo, my TV and lastly my computer.
"So are you going to show me how to use this thing, or was this impromptu computer class just a ploy to get me in your room?"
I'm shocked by her words. "I..I .wouldn't..."
"I know, Scott" She assures. "Relax.. I was just joking. If I really thought you were up to something I wouldn't have come."
I watch her sit in my computer chair *like she owns it* and that's when I realize that I was still standing by the door. I force myself to walk over to her and stand behind her.
"Press that button there."
She looks up at me then back at my computer. "Here?"
"Uh.. no that one.." I point to the button in question. "The one with that circle thing on it."
Once the computer is on, I try to explain everything, but my nervousness is making me stutter like an idiot. I am embarrassed by my ineptitude, but Ro acts like she doesn't notice. For that I am grateful.
Not many people know this about me, but I, Scott Summers, not my alter personality Cyclops, have a real bad case of introversion. That is the main reason I keep myself separate from my team. I'm just not a people person, and I don't know how to be. My life has not allowed me to adequately acquire this skill. Most of my life, well most of what I remember at least, I just stayed quite and did what I was told. No matter how vile the task because the people I knew while growing up either used me, abused me, or both.
It wasn't until Xavier found me and rescued me from the streets, did someone treat me like I was a human and not some freak that was lower than a dog. The professor was the first person I can remember ever being nice to me. Jean was the second.
I think.... that is why I am so devoted to the both of them.
I leave my thoughts and lean over Ro. I have to type in my password to log onto the internet but as I do this, I notice that her hair smells like strawberries and cream. I find myself really liking the scent and without even knowing I am doing it, I lean a little closer to have a better whiff of it.
"Scott, if you want the seat.." She pushes me back and stands up "Here take it! You don't have get so close."
I am now beet read with disparaging embarrassment, but methodically, I take the seat without looking at her. I'm too ashamed by what I did to look at her. She then takes the spot behind.
"You have mail!" My machine sings out.
"Can you check my mail first?" She asks hopefully.
I freeze at her request because it is impossible to fulfill. "Umm..Ororo."
"Hmm?"
"I can't check your mail..."
"Oh...why not? I mean.. that's why I am in here right?"
"Well yeah...." I force myself not to stutter as I mentally plead for the floor to just swallow me up. "It's just that..... I can't check your mail because you don't have an account yet."
"Oh." She tilts her head to the side and gives me a confused expression. "But... you said that Jean has been emailing me..."
"I lied." I admit in an ashamed whisper.
"You..."
"Lied. Yes...I'm sorry." I pinch my eyes shut , and childishly and mentally make myself invisible. I am regressing to the escapism tactic I used in my horrible childhood. I know she must be angry with me. She probably thinks that this *was* a ploy just to get her into my room.
For about the longest two minutes of my life, the only thing that could be heard was the bong of the occasional pop up screen. I really am expecting her to storm out of here and never talk to me again.
But she doesn't.
"Why?"
I bite my bottom lip and think about how to answer her question. I still don't look at her though, I am to embarrassed. After another tense minute, I finally answer. Timidly and barely above a whisper.
"Because..."
Where is my Cyclops mode when I need it?
"That's not an answer, Scott"
Now she sounds upset, so I muster up my courage and look up at her and answer truthfully and fully. "Because Hank was trying to hurt you by mentioning Jean!"
"Oh..." I could tell she was surprised then confused by my confession "Why would Hank think that I would care if Jean emailed you? I'd be more worried if she didn't."
I return my gaze to the computer and reluctantly admit. "He thinks there is something going on between us."
"Something going on...? ... Oh.." She sighs regretfully and turns to look at the door. "I guess I better speak to him...and set things straight."
I turn back to face her and quickly nod in agreement, but after a few seconds, I notice that she hasn't moved from the spot she's standing in. She looks scared at the prospect of talking to her ex and that didn't bode well with me.
"Ororo... may I...ask you something?"
"You can ask me anything you want." She says as she spars me a glance. "Doesn't mean I'll answer the question though."
God she is a tough nut to crack. Throughout this past month, I can honest say that she and I became closer friends. But how close, I have no idea because we never talk. I mean we never *really* talk. It's almost like we have an unspoken understanding that she doesn't want to talk about what's bothering her. So we don't talk about it, not about her past, not about her dreams and definitely not what happened to her during the Project. She has even forbade the Professor from sneaking into her thoughts to find out what happened. She wants her experience to be her secret. And *only* her secret.
However, that sort of self reliance is true to Ororo's nature. Just like my self reliance is true to mine. It's all we know, because it's the only way one can survive while living on the streets. Because like myself, the lovely Miss Munroe was a street rat.
But she never talks about that life, unless she is bragging about some crime she pulled off without a hitch. Actually, Ororo never talks about anything, less it be superficial. Conversations about fast cars, clothes, magazines and the importants of including Mountain Dew into your daily diet is pretty much all you can get out of Miss Munroe. It drives Jean crazy. She thinks that Ro is the shallowest person she has ever met in her entire life.
But I know better.
Mine and Ororo's life are too similar for me not to know better.
Ro doesn't know that I'm a street rat like herself, but that past life, that we both share, is probably why she feels so comfortable around me. It's our familiarity that she's not even aware of.
"What's your question, Scott? I don't have all night." She sighs out in irritation as she walks over to my bed to sit down. Once she's seated she changes her mind and sits on the floor.
She hasn't said it out loud but by her sitting on the floor, she is making sure I don't get any unwelcome ideas in my head. So taking her recent actions into account, plus what she said to Hank earlier, my questioned is answered , but I ask anyway just to make sure.
"What happened between you two?"
"People change, Scott..." She shrugs and grabs the TV remote off of my TV stand. "We just weren't meant to be."
"But I thought you two were happy before..." I stop myself immediately and try to correct my mistake. "Is it because he's blue now?"
"No, its not because he *blue*I don't give a fuck that he's blue!"
I've upset her, and she turns the television on and turns the volume loud. It's her way of telling me that this conversation is over.
Unfortunately, for her I'm not finished with my questions yet. "Ororo...has Hank hurt you?"
Her gaze snaps to my direction and she is furious. "What the hell kind of question is that?! Of course he hasn't! Hanks is probably the nicest guy I have ever met in my entire life! He'd cut his own hand off before he hurt me with it! How could you--"
I interrupt. "Alright! I believe you."
"I don't care if you believe me! Why would you even ask me that?"
"It was an honest question, Ororo." My tone is strong , commanding and unremorseful. Very Cyclopish. I'm starting to think that maybe confrontation brings out this side in me. "And I asked because you act like you're afraid of him every time he's around!"
"I'm not afraid of him!" She snaps.
"Then tell my why it *looks* like you are afraid of him."
She hmphs and returns her gaze to the TV. For about 10 minutes, she doesn't answer me. I being to think that she's not going to answer my question, so I do the only thing I can do.
No, it's not to kick her out of my room, my sacred space.
Instead, I decide to return my gaze to the happenings on my computer and ignore her.
And just when I've completely given up on getting an answer from her that's when she decides to speak.
"He just won't let go....I must have explained it to him a million different ways but...He just won't let go."
I keep my gaze on the monitor to give* her* space. I have a feeling that she will stop talking if I look at her. "Is he pressuring you?" Through my peripheral I see her shake her head no. For now that's all I need to know, so I let the subject drop.
While she watches TV, I click on my mail. I have six emails from Jean. Oh fuck. Usually, I only get one a day because she is so busy. She went back to medical school to specialize in another type of medicine.
As I gaze at my inbox, I'm not even sure I want to read the messages therein. But I do anyway. I need to know what I'm in for before I call her.
The first three only state that she and I 'need to talk.' The next one is more angry. It asks me 'where the hell am I?' Then the next one accuses me of being with Ororo. And the last one, which must have *just* been sent states that 'If I don't respond tonight, it's over between us.'
Fuck!
I quickly cut off the computer and make a dash for my phone. I zip through my caller ID and I see Jean's number about 12 times.
FUCK!!!!!
Ororo looks at me and quizzically arches a brow. "Something wrong, Slim?"
"Yeah!" I admit dejectedly. "Hank told Jean about how he found us this morning. I think she's going to break up with me."
"Oh...I'm so sorry.. Do you want me to leave?"
"I'm sorry but.."
She quickly gets up and puts her hands in front of her chest. "Not a problem."
With the phone in my hand, I watch her walk over to the door. After she opens it, she quickly slams it shut and turns to face me.
"Hank's out there!"
"Shit! Are you sure?" I ask as I quickly pad over to the door.
My life has just gone from bad to worse.
"He's pretty hard to mistake as someone else, Scott!" She says as she steps away from the door and stands behind me.
I peak my head out of the door hoping above all hope that maybe she is mistaken, only to have my hopes crushed. There's Hank, sniffing around in the loby. Quickly and quietly, I close the door before he sees me and I turn to face her. "Why is he up here?"
Before she can answer my question, there is a knock at my door.
"Hide!" I whisper frenetically as my head zips side to side to search for a place to stash her.
Quickly, Ororo runs into the middle of my room spins in a frantic circle then decides to hide under my bed .
As soon as she slides under there, I realize that's not going to work. My bed skirt is too short to hide her. Not that you can see my bed from the door but still, I didn't want to take any chances.
There are another series of knocks at my door. This time they are impatient.
"In my bathroom!" I whisper loudly. "Hide in my bathroom!"
She quickly scoots out from under my bed and crawls into my bathroom. If it wasn't so important that she is *not* found in my room, I probably would be laughing right now. I feel like we are a couple of kids who are about to be caught with their hands in a cookie jar before dinner.
Before I open the door, I can't help but see the irony in the fact that for years I've lived in this room and no one came to visit me. Now, on the day when I *need* my privacy it seems like this is the hot spot for the whole mansion.
It's only after I hear the bathroom door close do I crack the door open. "Yes?" I answer with mock tiredness. I'll do anything to get rid of him quicker.
"Um.. yes, Scott...."
"Yes?"
"Have you seen Ororo?"
"No." I lie and cross my arms.
"You haven't?" He looks shocked and almost confused. "Are sure?... I could have sworn I smelled her scent up here?" He takes a deeper sniff then looks at me, then past me, into my room ,then at me again and asks skeptically. "Are you sure you don't know where she is?"
My eyes widen in distress, but other than that I make no other outward reaction. I forgot that with Hanks new appearance, he also got a whole new set of abilities. He now has the nose of a blood hound, and with that in mind, I realize that need to close my door and quickly!
"Hank" My voice is stern. "Have you ever thought that maybe Ororo doesn't want you to find her?"
"I really don't see how this is any of your business."
I silently interrupt him by forking my brow angrily and allowing my lips form my trademark frown.
"Look, Scott... all I want to do is apologize" His voice is louder now. Not in anger, but loud like someone trying to make sure a person hiding in a bathroom could here them.
"Apologize for what?" I bite out. "For stalking her?" He looks affronted but I continue anyway. "Hank, she doesn't want to date you anymore and nothing you say or *do* is going to make her change her mind. So you need to back off because the only thing you are accomplishing now is freaking her out!"
I know I shouldn't be saying this to him, because he's right. Their problems have nothing to do with me. But right now, I don't care. I'm pissed at him because there is a good chance that he destroyed my relationship with Jean.
Hank now looks about as pissed as I feel, but he speaks to me with a false calm voice. "If you see Ororo...Just tell her I'm looking for her."
" I will. And thanks for the warning." And with that I slam my door shut.
When I turn around, I'm confronted with a very shocked Ororo. She doesn't say anything. She doesn't have to, because its written all over her face.
Suddenly, I am very ashamed for what I just did to Hank.
"I ... guess I should be going." Her voice is timid as if she expects me to lash out at her too.
I glance at the clock on my stereo, it's a little past 12am. "Ummm... Can't you wait a bit longer..."
"Why?"
"He still might be out there."
She is reluctant, but she agrees. Ten uncomfortably quiet minutes later, I walk over to the door and peak out .
"Dammit!"
"What?" she asks from the computer chair.
"He's still out there!" I quickly shut the door just as she stands up in alarm.
"What?! Where?"
"In the lobby, down the hall!" I point in the general direction.
She looks upset, but she asks anyway. "Do you still want me to leave?"
I think about her question then shake my head. "No."
"Why?"
It happens before I can even stop myself, but I look at her as if she had just asked me the dumbest question in the world. "Because then he'll know you're in here!"
"So! It's not like we are doing anything wrong!"
I shake my head. She doesn't understand that her just being in my room *is* a big deal.
"Look Scott, apparently... he already knows I'm in here. So who cares if he sees me leaving." She starts walking toward the door and stops in front of me. "It's late Scott... If you want, I will set him straight right now, because as I stands, I am too tired to be playing these childish games."
I stare into her blue eyes and try to ignore the fact that they are bruised by the lack of sleep. I can tell that she is serious this time. I also know that I should really she let her go and let her resolve this issue now that she has the courage to. But I can't "Ororo please... my relationship is riding on this."
She looks up and growls at the ceiling. "Fine!" I then watch her turn around and stomp toward my bed. "But I'm not going to stay up and wait for him to leave. I'm going to sleep!"
"Sure sure go ahead." I don't care if she sleeps in my room because I already knew that would happen the moment I invited her in. I follow her to the bed but when I get there, I grab the phone. I know its late but I need to call Jean. "Umm... I'm...going to go talk in the bathroom okay. So if you hear anything while your sleeping...it's just me."
She tiredly sighs out " Whatever" as she lies on her stomach and buries her head in my pillow.
In the privacy of my bathroom, I call my girlfriend to assure her that I am not cheating on her with the girl who is now sleeping in my bed.
Immediately after Jean picks up, I can tell she's pissed. And for the first ten minutes, she tells me so. Actually, throughout our 48 minute conversation, she barely lets me have a word in edge wise. However, I *was* able to convince her that Ororo and I weren't involved. Unfortunately for me, she ended our relationship anyway.
I can't say I was completely shocked. I knew this day was going to happen sooner or later because I could tell. A big hint that our relationship wasn't going to work was when her phone calls became more and more infrequent. Then she told me that because she was so busy, it would be better if we just communicated by email. She did take the time to send one everyday, two if she was having a good day, but they were so short! And they were never about the stuff love was made of, like mine were to her. She just shared trivial info about her day. So yes, I saw the signs, I just chose to ignore them.
I loved her. I wanted to believe that we would always be together.
So even though I knew this day would come, it still hurt like hell when she actually said the words.
I cried. Shamelessly, I cried on phone. I even begged her to give us one more chance, but she refused. She told me that I wasn't really in love with her. When I didn't agree, she told me that I was too young to know what I was feeling and that my feelings for her were only infatuation because she was the first woman I could remember being nice to me. She assured me that she loved me and would always love me, but told me that we just weren't meant for each other. Then to convince me to the reasons why we would never work, she brought up our age difference and told me that we were at two different stages in our life. She said that she was thirty and ready to settle down, where I was only twenty and just finding out what life was about. She assured me that it wasn't my fault, and that I was a great guy and that any girl would be proud to have me but that she was not my "Ms. Right". She also told me a bunch of other "Dear John" shit but it was lost to me because I couldn't hear her over my sobs.
So basically, Jean knew that she did not want a romantic relationship with me for a while now. Its just that this Ororo thing gave her the excuse she needed to terminate it.
Our conversation ended a little past 1am, but its not until a little past 3am do I return to the room. It's completely dark save the moonlight from the open window. I look at Ororo sleeping peacefully on my bed. She looks like an angel, but I am too sad to really appreciate her beauty right now. However, I do notice that she has on the shirt I wore yesterday over her own shirt.
At that I can't help but puff my chest a bit and smile. It feels good to know that she finds comfort in me. In *me* Scott Summers. Not Cyclops the fearless leader. But Scott Summers the shy introvert.
Just knowing that takes away some of the hurt I feel by Jean dumping me.
When I start to settle myself on the floor I hear the familiar creek of my bed springs. I look up and I see that Ororo is now awake and staring at me. I can tell she is not frightened because her eyes are not pure white, but she is staring at me with and unreadable expression. Then to my surprise, she takes off my shirt, tosses it on the floor and holds her hand out to me.
It's and unspoken invitation. Not an invitation for *me* to comfort *her*, but for *her* to comfort *me*.
I accept and crawl into bed with her. After she rests her head on my chest, I gently wrap one arm around her slender waist and caress her hair, to lull her back to sleep. But it's not until she is sleeping deeply and peacefully do I begin to think that....maybe Jean was right.
Because holding Ororo like this feels right. Perfect, in a way that nothing else can compare.
tbc
