***Special Note From DougS: The following semi-script story is not mine. I did not write this. It was written in the late '90s by Matthew K. Ingalls, who is not me. I am posting it here on fanfiction.net because it has vanished from every other area of the Internet, and frankly, it needs to be preserved somewhere online. It's a great Snake story, and a fantastic interpretation of what might have happened in Cleveland between Escape From New York and Escape From L.A.
The following semi-script is preserved here as it was originally encoded online. Enjoy, and many thanks to MK Ingalls for writing it.***
Escape from Cleveland:Snake Returns
A new Escape screenplay by MK Ingalls, set in the year 2008, with the following all-star cast:
Kurt Russell as Snake Plissken
Tia Carerre as Annie Twelve-Wolves
Janeane Garofalo as the Crab
Barry Corbin as Slater Grey
James Spader as Twenty-Nine
Wallace Shawn as Chief Schliemann
Tim Curry as the Antipope
Pam Grier as Carjack
John Rhys-Davies as Doctor Blackwell
Robert Beltran as Maiming Bear
Ted Raimi as Kent
Sabrina Lloyd as Inez
And Special Guest: PETER GABRIEL
by Matthew K. Ingalls
SCENE I
Opening credits, theme song.
Computer animation and voiceover by Jamie Lee Curtis:
VOICEOVER: In the year 2008, massive air pollution formed from America's industrial heartland began to cause erratic rainfall over the midwest. The result was forty days of intensive flooding, causing Lake Erie to rise above its shoreline and inundate the city of Cleveland.
Cut to President.
PRESIDENT: As God struck down the wicked with his forty days of flooding, so has he swept away the sinful from the city of Cleveland! The Lord has made his will known!
Cut to animation.
VOICEOVER: Though the flooding was eventually brought under control, Cleveland became permanently deluged, and was christened the "Venice of Ohio." The ensuing chaos and riots caused Cleveland to became a magnet for the American criminal population, forcing the President to react by stationing a permanent garrison of National Guard around the watery perimeter. Every one passing through is subject to search: but no one wants in, and everyone wants out.
SCENE II
Long shot of skyline during late sunset. It is raining in a torrent.
Long shot of NAOM building.
Close shot of rooftop. Helicopter lands on pad. Its blades begin to slow. The cockpit opens, revealing SNAKE, flanked by RENDING CROW and STRIKING HAWK, two typically factory-produced hired thugs. They are wearing traditional Native American garb. They exit the copter and prod SNAKE towards the elevator. They enter the elevator. The doors close in front of them.
Cut to interior of elevator, descending. RENDING CROW looks towards SNAKE.
RENDING CROW: So, big man, how are you going to escape this one?
SNAKE, looking lethal: How are you going stop me if I try?
He glances around the elevator, as if to act. Then the doors open.
Cut to elevators opening. They escort Snake out.
Shot of the three walking down the corridor. MAIMING BEAR approaches and falls in step with the others. He is a tall and handsome lieutenant.
MAIMING BEAR: So, you're Snake Plissken. The boss wants to talk to you. Very much. But some people tend to lose their nerve before talking to the boss. So I'll give you a choice. If you want, I'll toss you off the twentieth story. You'll hit the water and no one will ever find you. Makes it easy for all of us. Care to take that option, Plissken?
Close-up of SNAKE, who does not turn to look at MAIMING BEAR: I'll go if you go, asshole.
MAIMING BEAR laughs: What you lack in eyes, you make up in balls, I'll give you that. Let's go.
SNAKE continues walking down the corridor.
Long shot of lavish office. ANNIE TWELVE-WOLVES is standing, facing the window, hands clasped behind her back. TWELVE-WOLVES is dark, exotic, beautiful, and efficient. There is a thunder-clap.
TWELVE-WOLVES, without turning: If you don't have him, I'm going to kill you.
Shot of RENDING CROW: Yeah, we got him, Ms. Twelve-Wolves. He was hiding in an air pocket in the old rail station. We hit him with a tranquilizing dart. Er, three of them. But, um, he shot up Black Fang and Swift Talon pretty bad.
TWELVE-WOLVES: Good. He saved me the trouble of doing it myself.
There is a thunder clap.
TWELVE-WOLVES: Any other casualties, Rending Crow?
RENDING CROW: Well, Striking Hawk here lost three fingers.
Shot of STRIKING HAWK, clutching his hand in pain.
TWELVE-WOLVES, turning: I suppose you'd like some medical attention.
STRIKING HAWK, terrified: Er, no, that's alright.
TWELVE-WOLVES, benevolently: You may go.
RENDING CROW: Er, he also killed Gouging Pike. Ran a subway car over him. Twice.
She turns to SNAKE.
TWELVE-WOLVES: So, three deaths and a maiming? Very impressive. What do you have to say for yourself, Plissken?
Close up of SNAKE: Call me Snake.
TWELVE-WOLVES: You killed my men. You owe me for that.
SNAKE: You sent your men to capture me. I'll kill you for that.
TWELVE-WOLVES, impatiently: I'm so pleased we've established our mutual debts to the other. Shall we get to the point? I assume you know who I am.
Snake stares dangerously. There is a thunder-clap.
TWELVE-WOLVES: I'll help you out, Plissken. My name is Annie Twelve-Wolves. I'm the leader of this outfit, the Native American Order of Merchants.
SNAKE snorts: Merchants. Meaning assassins.
TWELVE-WOLVES: And drug smugglers. We also run the streets down there. In fact, what with gang warfare, we control most of Outer Cleveland. But then, it seems to me that you haven't lived a saintly life yourself, Plissken.
SNAKE ignores her and scans the room, searching for a way out.
TWELVE-WOLVES, circling her desk: We're much alike, Plissken. Neither of us will let a trifle like ethics stand in the way of a profit. And we're both willing to step over the bodies of those who stand in our way of survival. The only difference is that I'm a professional, and you're a loner.
SNAKE: I don't give a fuck about how you run your business. Tell me what you want.
TWELVE-WOLVES: I've got a proposition for you, Plissken. I think you'll find it...appealing.
TWELVE-WOLVES touches a button on the desk, and a panel slides open. There is a slide of a skyscraper on the screen behind the panel.
MAIMING BEAR: Before the floods, this was Excelsitron Enterprises. It was supposed to be a trade center. In fact, it was a cover for government research taking place in Cleveland. We have been aware of this from the start.
Close up of SNAKE, examing the slide. The slide switches to a real-time video of a laboratory, with lab workers bustling about.
MAIMING BEAR: Our sources revealed that the researchers were performing some sort of chemical manipulation research, but we were never able to obtain details.
The slide changes, displaying the skyscraper, covered halfway with water.
MAIMING BEAR: The floods forced the government to abandon their project. Abruptly. The chaos has prevented them from returning to the building to clear out their research. Most of the building is underwater now.
Close up of SNAKE, appraising. Close up of TWELVE-WOLVES, nodding approval. The slide changes, this time to a technical chart, displaying four new atom isotopes, electrons whirling.
MAIMING BEAR: It took two months, but our slicers were eventually able to tap into the Excelsitron computer system. It seems that the feds were working on a virus of unprecedented power. It's a genetically altered bacteria which derives energy from exposure to water, causing it to reproduce at an astounding rate. It's also thoroughly and lethally toxic. Theoretically, placing this in a body of water would poison the entire adjacent supply.
Close up of SNAKE, indifferent: Why not drop it in the ocean? You could kill off the entire human race that way.
TWELVE-WOLVES: Don't be a fool, Plissken. The virus is killed upon exposure to salt. Its primary use would be to toxify a nation's freshwater supply. It would be a chemical weapon of incredible power. The country controlling it could dominate any nation it chose, with a single squeeze of an eyedropper.
Close up of SNAKE, still indifferent: I'm sure you'd have a lot of fun with that.
TWELVE-WOLVES, rolling her eyes: Not me, Plissken. I have no political aspirations. However, certain parties in Eastern Europe and the Mideast have expressed an interest in purchasing this item. It could make me wealthy for the rest of my days.
Close-up of SNAKE, really, really indifferent: Sounds like a fucking picnic, Annie. Why don't you go and get it?
The slide changes to a picture of a glass box, containing another glass box, containing a syringe.
MAIMING BEAR: This appears to be the only sample of the virus that was created. It is, however, sufficient enough to poison the entire world. We believe that it is being held in a sub-basement of the Excelsitron building, underwater. Fortunately, the virus is contained within two waterproof containers.
The slide changes to a picture of a bearded man wearing a triple crown, the ANTIPOPE. He has a wild look in his eyes and he seems to be in mid-shout.
TWELVE-WOLVES: There's another problem. The building is located in Inner Cleveland, out of our boundaries. I can't send my men in, because they'd be gunned down on sight by the followers of this man, Enrico Calvinni. He calls himself the Antipope. He's a holy terrorist, and he's amassed quite a following. He kills and steals, but he does it all in the name of God, and that makes his followers loyal. Fanatically loyal. He's too powerful for me to oppose directly.
Close-up of SNAKE: So you want me to get your virus for you.
TWELVE-WOLVES: I'm not through yet, Plissken. We think the Antipope has discovered the existence of the virus. He's closer to it, and if he obtains it, he'll use it to poison the entire country during some sort of righteous high. Our country. I'm not going to let him do that. Better no one has it than he has it.
SNAKE: How patriotic. How are you going to stop him?
MAIMING BEAR: We have access to, shall we say, implements of destruction that the military would not approve of.
TWELVE-WOLVES: I'm talking nuclear power here, Snake, buried under Cleveland. If I don't have that virus within fifteen hours, I'm going to set it off. We'll escape by helicopter, but I'm afraid that will be the end of this city.
Close-up of SNAKE. He blinks.
TWELVE-WOLVES: No, I didn't think that would worry you too much.
SNAKE: Go ahead and pull the trigger. When you let me out of this building, though, I don't plan to stay long enough for the fireworks.
TWELVE-WOLVES, smiling: Your reputation is deserved, Plissken. They said you were a hard case. That's why I had you brought in. But you're going to do what I tell you.
SNAKE: And if I tell you to fuck off?
MAIMING BEAR: People usually don't do that to Annie Twelve-Wolves if they want to see tomorrow.
TWELVE-WOLVES: If you're planning on hightailing it out of Cleveland once I let you go, think again. I've alerted the Border Guard to your presence. They've secured the city so tightly, you'll never escape. Even top CIA officials have come to Cleveland to ensure your capture. This creates a dilemma for you, Snake, because this city is going to go up in flames in fifteen hours. But if you bring me back the virus, I'll fly you out, and all your problems are solved.
MAIMING BEAR: So, Snake, what do you say? Have we got a deal?
SNAKE looks at MAIMING BEAR. Then he rushes at TWELVE-WOLVES. He slams into an invisible barrier, seperating the desk from the rest of the room, and falls on his back.
TWELVE-WOLVES: Plexi-glass. You should really have more respect for my intelligence, Plissken.
SNAKE rises to his feet.
SNAKE: I'm going to get you killed, Twelve-Wolves.
TWELVE-WOLVES: I'm ecstatic. Maiming Bear, take him to the arsenal.
SCENE III
SNAKE is in the arsenal, in front of a table and weapons lockers.
MAIMING BEAR: This will allow you to communicate with us and to check your position in Cleveland. Your time remaining until the big bang is also on top. I'm going to start the count now.
He hands SNAKE a device which looks somewhat like a wristwatch, clicking a button on the side as he does so. SNAKE glances at it as he straps it on his wrist. A digital readout on top is at 14:59:45, and is slowly ticking away...
MAIMING BEAR: Your guns, Plissken.
He hands him a gun belt.
MAIMING BEAR: There are eight pipe bombs on that belt. Push the button on the bomb, and it's set. Push the button on this remote, and it blows.
He hands him a remote. SNAKE fastens the belt and shoves the remote into a pocket.
MAIMING BEAR: Long range crossbow. Comes with twenty pre-loaded quarrels, explosive-tipped. The quarrels are jet-propelled for the quick kill.
He hands SNAKE a sleek, sophisticated looking crossbow. SNAKE hangs it from his belt.
SNAKE: More.
MAIMING BEAR: This is a miniature missile launcher. One shot. Very powerful. Don't use it at close range.
SNAKE fastens the missile launcher to his back.
MAIMING BEAR: Self-replenishing scuba gear. Miniaturized for convenience. Its air filters should sustain you indefinitely underwater.
He hands SNAKE a small face mask and air tank.
MAIMING BEAR: And take this wet-suit. It should stabilize your body temperature and enable you to move through water with impressive speed.
Cut to SNAKE pulling his suit into place, revealing his Cobra tattoo. He adjusts his weapons and walks off screen. Dangerously.
SCENE IV
SNAKE is walking down the corridor with MAIMING BEAR, RENDING CROW, and STRIKING HAWK.
MAIMING BEAR: There are several jet skis waiting for you outside the front doors. You can take whichever one you like. Rending Crow and Striking Hawk will escort you out. Have a good mission, Plissken.
SNAKE glares at him over his shoulder as he enters the elevator, flanked by the RENDING CROW and STRIKING HAWK, who has a bandaged hand.
Cut to elevator. RENDING CROW reaches out and keys the button for the ground floor. The elevator begins to move.
RENDING CROW: You know what, Plissken? I don't think you stand a chance out there. You didn't seem so tough when we captured you back in the rail station. I think you're getting old, Snake.
STRIKING HAWK laughs. SNAKE ignores him.
Cut to SNAKE subtly removing a pipe bomb from his belt and pushing the arm button. The elevator stops. The doors begin to open. Suddenly SNAKE squeezes his frame out, dropping the pipe bomb, and mashing the keypad as he goes. RENDING CROW and STRIKING HAWK look momentarily paniced. The elevator doors close behind SNAKE, who enters a deserted lobby. SNAKE strolls casually towards the camera, fishing the remote out of his pocket.
SNAKE: In case of fire, use stairs...
He pushes the button. There is a massive explosion. The elevator doors buckle. Smoke wafts out from them.
SNAKE: ...dickheads.
SNAKE's communicator, from his wrist, begins to emit static. Then TWELVE-WOLVES'S voice crackles out.
TWELVE-WOLVES: What the hell do you think you're doing, Snake? Did you just kill two of my men?
SNAKE: You never told me not to.
Cut to SNAKE, emerging out of the front doors of the NAOM building. It is still raining intensely. Most of the steps leading up to the building are underwater. Tethered to a nearby hook are a dozen jet skis of multiple colors. SNAKE appraises them briefly, and then straddles a black one. He begins to rev it up. Then he removes another pipe bomb, arms it, and tosses it amongst the clustered jet skis. He rides off. When he is several meters away, he pushes the button again. The jet skis vanish in flame. SNAKE speaks into his communicator.
SNAKE: Thanks for the pipe bombs, Annie.
Cut to SNAKE riding off in the distance.
SCENE V
Cut to Border Guard outside Cleveland. Long shot of various military encampments, with snipers flanking the city. Cut to interior of bunker. SLATER GREY is sitting in a chair, his legs propped up on a table with numerous maps and documents upon it. He is watching a slide show of Snake's ESCAPades. SLATER GREY is aggressive, competent, and thoroughly Southern. He has a handgun on his person at all times. He also likes his coffee, and is drinking a cup now.
SLATER: If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a hot-shot college boy Bolshevik son-of-a-bitch. Someone bring me this fucker's head.
Shot over SLATER'S shoulder. A shadow appears in the doorway. It belongs to Chief Schliemann, a top CIA official whose easygoing manner conceals lethal efficiency.
SCHLIEMANN: That's what they sent me to do, Sergeant Grey.
SLATER: Listen, that's great. Now why don't you get your ass back to Washington and help your pansy CIA friends fuck up some assassination in Cuba, all right?
He sips his coffee.
SCHLIEMANN: I'm afraid that's not possible, Sergeant Grey. This is where I've been assigned, and there's nothing either of us can do about it. You can file a complaint if you want. Meanwhile, let's get to business.
SLATER, turning in his chair: I've got things bottled up tight in this city, and the last thing I need is CIA intervention. You haven't been able to catch this Plissken fucker for the last thirteen years, so why don't you just fuck off and give me a chance?
SCHLIEMANN: Snake Plissken is far too skilled an individual for you to capture on your own, Sergeant Grey. Many of our operatives can attest to this. He has pulled quite a few dramatic escapes.
SLATER: You had him in New York. Then you let him walk off.
SCHLIEMANN: We had nothing to do with that. That was entirely Commander Hauk's responsibility.
SLATER: Bob Hauk is--
SCHLIEMANN: I'm aware of your opinion of Commander Hauk. Communist. Pissant. Yellow-belly. I've heard all this before. Nevertheless, time is passing. New developments have arisen. Now tell me, what do you know about government research in Cleveland?
SLATER: Shit, Schliemann, I've got a whole file cabinet on government research in Cleveland.
SCHLIEMANN: I assume you're being facetious. Well, then. Take a look at these papers.
He shuffles nervously through a manila folder he is carrying and withdraws a diagram. He hands this to SLATER.
SLATER, sipping his coffee: Looks like some kind of toxin.
SCHLIEMANN: I'm afraid it's much more than that, Sergeant Grey. Suffice to say that it possesses the power to poison an entire nation's freshwater supply.
SLATER: Well, shit, it looks like you CIA boys have been working overtime. But what does all this bullshit have to do with Plissken?
SCHLIEMANN: We have been unable to trace the source of the tip-off we received regarding Plissken's whereabouts. Nevertheless, we feel it prudent to take it on good faith. The problem, Sergeant Grey, is this.
He becomes emphatic.
SCHLIEMANN: There is a working prototype of the Excelsitron-Sigma virus in a flooded lab in the heart of Cleveland, and we believe Snake Plissken is after it!
SLATER becomes thoughtful. He pauses, then speaks: So you know where Snake Plissken is heading now.
SCHLIEMANN: Yes. Now look at these maps. I want a squad ready and waiting for him within an hour.
SLATER: Don't give me an order, you fuck--
SCHLIEMANN: Let's draw a stop to all this vulgar verbosity, Sergeant. There are at least three other parties who are interested in this virus, and we need to get ahead of them. So start working with me.
SLATER: I will, Schliemann. But only because I want to see Snake Plissken's head on the chopping block.
SCHLIEMANN: I echo your sentiments, Sergeant Grey. And so does the CIA.
SCENE VI
Cut to SNAKE, riding through the waterways on his jetski. Numerous alternating shots from different angles. As he rides, he sees vague shortly-glimpsed scenes of life in futuristic Cleveland: clusters of people huddling around fires on beached roofs and patios, skyscrapers with their top floors converted to apartments, jetski parks, floating shacks and shops.
SNAKE rides towards a makeshift tent propped up on a large raft. Around the perimeter of the raft are cartons of fruit. A man, hearing the sound of SNAKE's approach, exits the tent.
VENDOR: Hey, mac, buy some limes! Only three days old! Good limes!
SNAKE ignores him, skitting by the VENDOR. His wake causes the raft to heave and pitch, knocking over a carton of plums. The VENDOR attempts to steady his raft, shaking his fist after SNAKE. ("Fruit cart!")
SNAKE makes his way through a small commune of tethered rafts. Numerous people move to avoid the water he trails behind. A little girl looks after him and gawks.
LITTLE GIRL: Mama, wasn't that man Snake Plissken?
MAMA, looking irked at the soaking Snake has left behind: Don't be absurd, Nikita. Snake Plissken doesn't really exist.
Onwards SNAKE rides. He looks at the computerized map on his wrist to ascertain his position. As he does this, he fails to see the slope which his jetski is maneuvering towards. The jetski hits the ramp, propelling it over the roof of a submerged building.
Below the building a man opens a hatch and steps out on the roof. He begins to stretch, then his eyes widen and he tosses himself to the ground just as SNAKE sails over him. The vehicle lands on the edge of the roof and skids back into the water. SNAKE skillfully brings his jetski under control. Its momentum propels SNAKE through a nearby movie billboard, smashing a gaping hole through it. SNAKE rides off into the distance while the camera remains on the billboard, which is an advertisment for "Waterworld II".
SNAKE rides into the slums of Cleveland. All around him are the usual assortment of city low-life: junkies, thugs, and whores. They go about their business on portruding rooftops and floating rafts. SNAKE ignores them, checking his position on his map. Suddenly a hideous makeshift raft floats across a cross-street ahead, barring it off. It is composed of sixteen tires lashed together, with outboard motors situated at the rear for locomotion. Three MUGGERS with long, bushy beards (ala ZZ Top) attempt to waylay SNAKE, two of them with automatic weapons aimed and ready.
Shot of SNAKE, who sees the danger and does not hesitate. He narrows his eye and guns the motor. Then he crashes directly into one of the bearded men, sending him flying to a watery fall twenty feet ahead. SNAKE leaps off the jetski, which is beached upon the tire raft, and prepares to defend himself. He takes hold of one of the MUGGERS' beards and yanks it hard, causing the man's face to be propelled into SNAKE's fist. The MUGGER falls overboard with the force of the blow. The last one panics and makes a break for SNAKE's jetski behind his back. He frees the vehicle and begins to ride off on it. SNAKE sees his transportation disappearing into the distance. In anger, he arms a pipe bomb and tosses it far ahead of the fleeing mugger. He stares into the distance for a handful of seconds, then hits the remote. A flash illuminates his face.
SNAKE triggers his communications unit.
SNAKE: Twelve-Wolves.
TWELVE-WOLVES: I hope you're getting something useful done, Plissken, after pointlessly destroying all of our jetskis.
SNAKE: You just lost another one. Where can I get a replacement?
TWELVE-WOLVES: Jesus Christ, Plissken. All right. Let me check your position.
SNAKE moves to the back of his raft and guns the motor. It starts to meander down the waterways sluggishly. SNAKE looks about impatiently.
TWELVE-WOLVES: Keep moving, Plissken, and take the second left. There's a saloon of sorts on Cudgel Street. You can steal some transportation from there.
SNAKE turns the rudder to the right.
SNAKE: What kind of saloon are we talking about?
TWELVE-WOLVES: Your kind of saloon, Plissken.
She severs the connection as the saloon comes into SNAKE'S field of vision. It is a loud and rowdy shack on a floating raft, tethered to a nearby building. Lights flash all about it. A neon sign above the doorway proclaims it to be the "Gutted Fish Cantina". Numerous jetskis are clustered in front of it. SNAKE brings his tire-raft to a halt and leaps to the saloon's deck. He begins to make his way toward the jetskis. As he places a hand on one of them, there is a throat clearing behind him. SNAKE whirls, hands reaching for his guns. He sees six or seven grungy JETSKIERS looking dangerous, with fists and knives at the ready. Snake is initially unconcerned.
SNAKE, looking irritated: What?
Eight more jetskiers exit the bar, pointing numerous assorted and highly lethal firearms at SNAKE'S face.
SNAKE, looking seriously irritated: Shit.
SCENE VII
Interior of saloon. It is dimly lit, with numerous square tables propped up on cement blocks. There is a crudely constructed bar on the far end. A flickering television is on top of the bar, portraying a kickboxing match. A fancy chandelier, obviously scavenged, hangs from the roof. In the back is a stage where numerous scantily dressed women writhe and jiggle.
Several JETSKIERS shove SNAKE into the bar, none too lightly, prodding him with the barrels of multiple firearms. SNAKE is unperturbed. He looks around the saloon, searching for a way out.
The Jetskiers are wearing various ratty and scavenged pieces of clothing from all walks of life. They are an unshaven, surly lot. Numerous half-naked dancers fondle and caress them. MERRICK, a long-haired, hulking jetskier, pushes SNAKE to the front of the bar. LEVI, the bartender, appraises him. LEVI is skinny and pinched. He pays no attention to SNAKE at first.
LEVI: Have a drink, Merrick.
He hands MERRICK a glass of bubbling brownish liquid. MERRICK drinks up.
LEVI: Now, I thought I heard someone rustling about out in front.
Merrick belches.
MERRICK: You heard right, Levi.
Levi looks up at SNAKE for the first time.
LEVI: So, who's this fuck?
MERRICK: He was trying to lift your 'ski. I figured you'd want to kill him or something.
LEVI: Yeah, I just might.
With an abrupt jerk he withdraws a gun and holds it to SNAKE'S throat.
LEVI: I just might splatter his skull all over this bar.
SNAKE pulls himself upright and stares into LEVI'S eyes.
SNAKE: So pull the fucking trigger.
LEVI hesitates. The crowd in the bar oohs in approval.
LEVI: You really want to die, boy?
SNAKE, indifferent: You're holding the gun.
There is a long, tense moment. Then someone cries out from the back of the bar. It is JETHRO, a grossly fat jetskier.
JETHRO: You know who this guy looks like? He kinds of looks like Snake Plissken.
The crowd breaks out into laughter.
BIG ALFRED rises. He is muscle bound and sports a pony-tail.
BIG ALFRED, incredulous: Don't dick around. Everyone knows Snake Plissken isn't real.
More laughter.
JETHRO: I heard he saved the President in '97.
BIG ALFRED: And I heard that he's nine feet tall and he's killed a thousand men. What's your point?
Heavily scarred RHAEMON stands up.
RHAEMON: No, I think Jethro's right. That is Snake Plissken.
ROXY, a cheap-looking (yet genuinely arousing...) dancer, sidles towards SNAKE.
ROXY: I've heard some things about Snake Plissken that I wouldn't mind checking up on...
She smiles seductively and purrs.
LEVI, in doubt, looks at SNAKE, as if expecting to discover the answers in his face. SNAKE stares back, unworried. His face reveals nothing.
LEVI: What do you say, big boy? Are you Snake Plissken?
SNAKE: What do you think?
BIG ALFRED stands and swaggers to the bar dangerously. He pulls out a long, curved knife.
BIG ALFRED, looking SNAKE in the eye: There's one way to tell if this is Plissken.
He puts the knife to SNAKE'S belly and grins. Then he jerks the knife, as if to gut him. Shot of SNAKE'S face, utterly apathetic. BIG ALFRED cuts through the suit, revealing the cobra tattoo. SNAKE'S suit now hangs off him like a vest. (expose Kurt Russell's pecs throughout the movie...rake in the women viewers)
There are low gasps and exclamations. ROXY squeals enticingly. LEVI looks worried. BIG ALFRED grins and exchanges glances with MERRICK.
BIG ALFRED: So, you're Snake Plissken. The toughest son of a bitch in the country. Snake, let me buy you a drink.
LEVI: Watch yourself, Big Al. This fucker tried to steal my 'ski. No one touches my 'ski and walks out of my bar intact.
BIG ALFRED, standing upright: There's no way you're gonna gun down Snake Plissken while I'm around.
LEVI: You want to start something?
By now others are clustering around the bar.
MERRICK: Hey, no one screws with Snake, Levi.
ROXY, running a hand down Snake's chest: It would be such a waste.
BIG ALFRED: Maybe I do want to start something.
RHAEMON, making his way around the bar: I don't care if he is Snake Plissken. He's a 'ski-russler and I say we tie some bricks to his feet and toss him out in the street.
JETHRO, grinning: He'd be doing you a favor if he stole your 'ski, Rhaemon.
Laughter from the pro-Snake faction.
RHAEMON: You fat shit--
He lands a punch on JETHRO'S nose, knocking him into a table of JETSKIERS. The JETSKIERS prop up JETHRO and begin hitting him, and MERRICK leaps to JETHRO'S aid. BIG ALFRED jumps at RHAEMON, who is defended by LEVI. A brawl erupts. Cut to scenes of things breaking. LEVI begins to fend off his enemies with liquor bottles, smashing them over their heads. SNAKE watches the chaos around him, unamused.
JETHRO swings at RHAEMON, flooring him. More scenes of fighting. ROXY is pushed, causing her to produce a long knife from her brassiere. She fends the jetskiers off with it. MERRICK hits the ground, smashing into a table. BIG ALFRED smashes two opponent's heads together, roaring. SNAKE grows weary of the action and begins to walk towards the door. Suddenly LEVI blocks his path, a bottle in his hand.
LEVI: You ain't going--
SNAKE unhesitatingly pushes the nearby chandelier straight into LEVI'S face, interrupting him in mid-sentence. LEVI hits the far wall, hard. SNAKE ducks, and the chandelier strikes RHAEMON, behind SNAKE, knocking him to the ground as well.
More jetskiers accost SNAKE on his way to the door.
Cut to outside of saloon. SNAKE brawls his way out, sending his antagonists into the water or unconcious on the deck. This is all done fairly nonchalantly. SNAKE leaps onto a jetski and cuts the tether. He begins to ride off into the distance.
Cut to LEVI, seriously bleeding, rushing out of the bar with a broken bottle in his hand.
LEVI: Come back here, Plissken!
SNAKE responds with a torrent of machine gun fire, causing LEVI to dive for cover into the water. RHAEMON rushes out of the bar and leaps onto another jetski. LEVI climbs out of the water onto one of his own. The two take off in pursuit. SNAKE unclips his crossbow and aims it at the lead jetski. The arrow strikes it and it bursts into flame. LEVI leaps through the explosion, gaining on SNAKE. SNAKE puts away his crossbow, glares at LEVI, and extends his arm. Suddenly he hits the brake. SNAKE'S jetski comes to a skidding halt. LEVI'S does not, and his neck hits SNAKE'S arm at full speed. LEVI goes into the drink. His jetski hits a wall ahead and crashes, submerging. SNAKE looks at his time clock--it is set at 14:32:50. He evaluates his work briefly, then rides off down a side-street.
SCENE VIII
Long shot of skyline. It is night. The rain has subsided to a sprinkle. Haunting, echoing music plays: Debussy's La Cathe'drale Engloutie. It is almost reverent. [Pretentious piece of trivia: This is the music played in EFNY when Snake glides into New York...our way of paying homage]
Shot of SNAKE, from above. He rides his jetski through a narrow, deserted maze of streets. The music grows louder, more powerful. A hush seems to settle upon the city.
Shot of SNAKE from in front, riding his jetski towards the camera. His face is composed, relaxed. There is an odd feel in the air, as if strange powers are at work. Despite the serenity, the rain does not let up. SNAKE looks at his life clock--14:25:00.
Cut to a sandaled foot stepping across the water ahead of SNAKE. There is a low thud from the soundtrack. The foot steadies itself on the water. Then another foot steps in front of the first. It too, steadies itself on the water. The figure is now standing securely on what appears to be a watery surface.
Cut to SNAKE'S expression as he sees this. His eye widens.
Cut to the figure on the water. He sees SNAKE heading towards him. His eyes widen as well. He is a lean, handsome man in simple clothes with well-maintained facial stubble. His name is, curiously, TWENTY-NINE.
SNAKE slams his brake, and the jetski skids to a stop. SNAKE begins to lose control.
Then the jetski hits a solid surface...a submerged ramp just below the water. SNAKE looks down at this, his eye finally conveying understanding. He looks up at TWENTY-NINE with a controlled expression.
SNAKE: Who are you?
TWENTY-NINE, softly, with dignity: I'm the man you almost killed.
SNAKE, annoyed: Move this thing out of my way. I've got somewhere to go.
TWENTY-NINE, looking at SNAKE carefully: You look very much like Snake Plissken. Odd. I had thought Snake Plissken was just a legend.
SNAKE, under his breath, exasperated: Isn't that the truth.
SNAKE checks the blip on his map indicating the location of the Excelsitron building. The red dot marking his position is superimposed over it. He has reached his destination. SNAKE looks upwards.
Shot of the Excelsitron building. It is not particularly impressive. It is five stories high, apparently deserted. Only the letters XELSIN remain from the originals on the roof. Since the bottom of the building is underwater, the closest entrance on SNAKE'S level is a fire escape on a floating balcony. The wooden ramp extends from the balcony across the street. SNAKE dismounts, catching his balance, and walks towards the fire escape. The door is bolted shut. TWENTY-NINE watches him calmly.
SNAKE pulls and pushes and prods. The door remains solidly closed. Nearby windows are barred. SNAKE kicks at the bars, but they do not give way. His fists clench. He looks upwards and seems to consider the roof. Then he places a hand on a foothold as if to climb to the top.
TWENTY-NINE: There is an easier way, Snake.
SNAKE looks back at him and drops back down.
SNAKE: What are you talking about?
TWENTY-NINE: When the building was deserted, the men inside drilled a hole in the wall to escape. It still remains, several yards below the surface.
SNAKE squints, feeling threatened by the man's placidity.
SNAKE: How the hell do you know?
TWENTY-NINE: This is my chosen area of the city. I have explored it well, and I know everything there is to know about it.
SNAKE: So where's the hole?
TWENTY-NINE: Below your feet, Snake Plissken. Under this ramp.
SNAKE looks down at the ramp, considering, then turns in preparation for a dive.
TWENTY-NINE: What is it that you seek in this building?
SNAKE, looking at his life clock: Salvation.
He pauses, then turns to TWENTY-NINE.
SNAKE: Who the hell are you?
TWENTY-NINE: My name? I have no name, only a number. Twenty-Nine.
SNAKE blinks: Twenty-Nine. Why?
TWENTY-NINE: Why are you called Snake?
SNAKE: Never mind.
SNAKE slides into the water and submerges himself to the waist.
TWENTY-NINE: May you find what you seek, Snake Plissken.
SNAKE, with an unsettled look: If I do, it sure as hell won't be in Cleveland.
He removes the scuba gear from his belt and places the airmask over his mouth. Then he releases the ramp and disappears below the water.
TWENTY-NINE stares at the ripples left from SNAKE'S passing, then sits cross-legged on the ramp, deep in thought, waiting. The rain does not disturb him in the least.
SCENE IX
Wide shot of SLATER GREY sitting shotgun in a military speedboat, speaking into a cellular phone. Behind him, in the backseat, are three of the national guard, followed by two more speedboats. Trailing these are six jetskis with two guards on each. Each guard is armed with an Uzi or Soviet-style rifle and a handgun. The vehicles make their way through the canals of downtown Cleveland.
Close-up of SLATER, copping his typical cavalier Southern land baron spiel. He has a thermos of coffee in his other hand which he sips from occasionally.
SLATER: Yeah, Christ. Why don't we just drag in the whole fucking armed forces? Twenty-four men aren't nearly enough to take down the all-powerful Snake Plissken, right?
Inaudible static spews out of the phone.
SLATER: Uh-huh. Listen, Schliemann, I'm not the head of one of your groups of elite CIA trash. These are trained military personnel, not weak-kneed dicks like you. No! No! We are not calling in another unit, you fuck. You've embarrassed me enough.
More static. SLATER looks disgusted and holds the phone away from his ear, waving it about. He sips his coffee. After a moment, he returns the receiver to its original position.
SLATER: No, really? Yeah, I'll make sure to do that. What?
More static.
SLATER: The Antelope? What?
Suddenly there are gunshots from either side of him. SLATER drops the phone and thermos and pulls out his handgun.
SLATER: What the--? Plissken?
AJAX, SLATER'S lieutenant in the backseat, moves up close to him.
AJAX: Sir, people have been skitting about in alleys all along this route. They weren't threatening us initially, but now they've begun sniping from the shadows.
Another gunshot.
SLATER: Shit. It's the Antipope.
SLATER looks back at his men.
SLATER, calling out: Hurt 'em.
He raises a fist in a signal. The guards unclip their firearms and begin sweeping the shadows with lead. The gunshots intensify and screams ring out.
SLATER grins: Well, shit, this night is shaping up.
He begins to laugh. He takes a quick sip of coffee. Then he whirls and fires his handgun behind him. The crossfire continues.
Cut to long shot of NAOM building...the terminal tower. The rain has not let up.
Shot of TWELVE-WOLVES'S office. TWELVE-WOLVES paces in front of the window, looking out into the city. From behind her, MAIMING BEAR enters, out of breath.
MAIMING BEAR: Sorry about the delay. It's a long way up the stairs.
TWELVE-WOLVES snorts and turns to him.
TWELVE-WOLVES: So far, Snake Plissken has done more damage to us than he has to the Antipope.
MAIMING BEAR: I warned you not to use him, Annie.
TWELVE-WOLVES shrugs.
TWELVE-WOLVES: I think he'll come through for us.
She turns back to the window.
TWELVE-WOLVES: What's happening out there?
MAIMING BEAR: Trouble. The Border Guard has sent in a patrol to search for our one-eyed friend. Apparently the CIA saw fit to notify them about the ES-Virus and they made the connection. Slater Grey is personally escorting two dozen men to the Excelsitron building as we speak.
TWELVE-WOLVES, seething: I didn't anticipate this. Can we slow their progress?
MAIMING BEAR shakes his head: They're deep in Downtown territory. They seem to be clashing with the Antipope's men right now. I think they interrupted him just as he was setting off to take the virus for himself.
TWELVE-WOLVES: Good. I'll warn Plissken to hurry.
She toggles a switch on her desk.
TWELVE-WOLVES: Plissken, you're in trouble.
She waits.
TWELVE-WOLVES: Are you there, Plissken?
She waits.
TWELVE-WOLVES, pounding her desk: Where could that lunatic be?
Cut to SNAKE, underwater. He scales the brick wall of the Excelsitron building, searching for the entrance. He swims down two stories, keeping away from balconies, until he finds it: a small two foot affair...certainly a tight squeeze.
Cut to his life clock--14:15:42. The unit is emitting faint static, but SNAKE does not hear. He pushes his way through the hole and finds himself in what could be an ordinary office building, if it were not buried underneath the flooded post-apoctolyptic ruins of Cleveland.
SNAKE swims to a desk and stands on it briefly as he unclips his crossbow. He scans the office and sees an elevator shaft in the distance. He begins to swim towards it.
Cut back to TWELVE-WOLVES, tapping away at a keyboard on her desk. A monitor on her wall shows several diagrams, then a red blip which indicates SNAKE'S position.
MAIMING BEAR: Well, it seems he's made it to the building.
TWELVE-WOLVES: Happy day. Now all he has to do is make it out before the Border Guard show up.
Cut back to SLATER in his speedboat. The gunshots are subsiding. He turns to AJAX.
SLATER: What's the good word, Ajax?
AJAX: We seem to have forced them back, Sergeant Grey. Looks like it was only an advance party...the Antipope was scouting ahead. I think that's the last of them.
Suddenly a figure leaps from a nearby building onto SLATER'S speedboat. His shotguns are blazing as he falls, and he manages to blast a man in the backseat overboard before SLATER and AJAX unload a clip into him. He falls over into the frontseat. SLATER examines him distastefully.
The man is dressed in red and white robes. Around his neck dangles a medallion of an eight-pointed Maltese Cross. SLATER picks up the medallion.
SLATER: Dumbass pissant. He knew we were going to gun him down when he jumped. Tossed his life away.
AJAX, looking back: He killed Cromwell.
SLATER: Well, Christ, Cromwell should have been faster on his feet. Don't worry, though. I'm going to mount the Antifucker's head on my wall right next to Plissken's.
He examines the medallion.
SLATER: Knights of Saint John. The fucker knows his history. Probably thinks he's on a grand crusade himself. Stupid shit.
FAWKES, the driver, turns to SLATER.
FAWKES: Sir, we're coming up on the Excelsitron building.
SLATER: Good. Ajax, get the men ready.
Cut to TWENTY-NINE, still meditating on the ramp. He comes awake with a start when he hears SLATER approaching. He slowly rises and opens a window on the building opposite the Excelsitron building. He crawls inside and hides.
Cut to SNAKE, in front of the elevator shaft. He strains to pull the doors apart, but the pressure around him is making it a difficult task. With a shudder, the doors give way a few inches. SNAKE braces himself against one door with his back and heaves. The doors open wide. SNAKE looks down the elevator shaft. It is very deep indeed.
Cut to SLATER, pulling his mini-armada to a stop in front of the ramp near the Excelsitron building. He climbs to his feet and stands on top of the bow.
SLATER: Get moving.
He scans the area and sees SNAKE'S jetski, still parked beside the ramp.
SLATER: Looks like our friend Snake Plissken has gotten here before us. Shit, this is going to be too easy. York, take your men and go after the asshole in question, alright?
YORK, picking up a harpoon gun: Yes, sir.
YORK and the men in the rear speedboat (five in all) prep themselves with harpoon guns and face masks.
SLATER: Schliemann says there's a hole below the surface. I'll bet that's where Plissken's gone.
He thinks for a moment.
SLATER: Something about that guy really pisses me off, so make sure and kill him. Try to bring me a body, okay?
YORK nods and turns to his men.
YORK: Okay, let's move!
YORK and his men begin to file into the water. SLATER GREY sits back, watching them, very satisfied. He sips at his coffee.
SCENE X
Cut to SNAKE, descending down the elevator shaft slowly...as far as he knows, he has all the time in the world. Suddenly he hits the top of the elevator, suspended midway between the floors. SNAKE examines the elevator, looks upward. He points his crossbow towards the roof and lets fire. The quarrel is followed by the camera as it streaks up the shaft, bursts out of the water, and hits the roof, exploding. The mechanism at the top comes lose, and the cord begins to unravel.
Cut to YORK and his men, entering the Excelsitron building from the hidden hole. The office is still shaking from the impact of SNAKE'S arrow. YORK gestures his men towards the shaft.
Cut back to SNAKE, as the elevator beneath him begins to descend. He looks at his life clock--14:10:20. With a clang, the elevator hits bottom. SNAKE opens the hatch, and descends into the elevator. He hits the floor. Two dead bodies are in the elevator, battered from the flooding. SNAKE ignores these, straining to push the doors open. After a moment they give way.
Cut to YORK, leading his men down the shaft.
Cut to SNAKE, examing the first floor. It is a tastefully decorated lobby. Numerous desks for secretaries are clustered nearby. Bodies lie prone on the floor. SNAKE swims to a desk and begins hopping across them, pivoting his head, looking for stairs or an elevator.
Cut to YORK, opening the hatch and dropping through. In the elevator, he sees SNAKE, swimming away from his position. He levels his harpoon gun.
Shot of SNAKE, leaping and swimming towards the camera. Behind him, YORK can barely be glimpsed, aiming. Suddenly he jerks. There is a shot of the harpoon streaking across the room. Cut back to SNAKE approaching the camera. Suddenly he winces in unbearable agony. Tendrils of blood float away behind him. The harpoon has struck him in the leg. SNAKE whirls, crossbow at the ready, and fires blindly. The arrow goes wide and hits the wall to the left of YORK and his men, who are in the elevator. It detonates, obscuring everything in flame. SNAKE yanks the harpoon out, gritting his teeth. As he does so, he turns and sees some obscured stairs in the corner. He begins to swim towards them.
Cut to SNAKE, swimming with difficulty towards the stairs. He begins to make his way down them. Cut to the cellar, a cramped affair, very sparse and militaristic. There is a small guard station near a sealed metal door. SNAKE examines the door and quickly realizes there's no way past it. He looks at a slot nearby, then at a body slumped over the guard station. He searches it hastily, and pulls out a red access card. He slides this into the slot and the doors open wide. Beyond the doors are numerous flickering lights. The electricity here is bad...but still functional. Most likely the source is a miniature electrical generator. SNAKE steps through the door and it seals behind him.
SNAKE swims down the hall to another elevator shaft, its doors yawning open. He looks down the shaft and sees the shattered remnants of a glass elevator. He begins to drop down. He makes his way down five floors, landing on the base of the elevator. A sign over the entranceway at the bottom reads "Genetic Manipulation, Class Red Security."
Cut to YORK in the cellar. His men have been unable to bypass the door. One of them is currently attempting to wire it open. After a moment, his efforts pay off. YORK begins to make his way down the hallway.
SNAKE senses his pursuers. Looking around at the featureless white hall, he spots a water cooler in a guard post near the door. He snatches the jug off of it, arms a pipe bomb, and shoves it inside. Then he holds the opening to his air producer on his belt. An air bubble floats to the top of the jug. SNAKE seals the opening and releases the jug up the shaft. He begins to swim down the hallway to the far door.
YORK has reached the elevator. He motions one man to stay on guard. Then he swims down the shaft. Two more men follow him, then a third. As YORK makes his way down, he abruptly hugs the wall to avoid the jug floating past him. The two men above him see it, and peer at it curiously as it floats to their level. Cut back to SNAKE, squeezing through a narrow door. He judges the time is right and hits the remote. Cut back to YORK and his men. The jug explodes, instantly killing two of YORK'S patrol. YORK is flung down the shaft and the man above him is flung up it.
SNAKE squeezes through the door and enters the research area: numerous cubicles and lab tables. Dead bodies litter the floor. SNAKE swims towards the far side, where a narrow hall leads to a wider room. SNAKE is about to swim through this hall unhesitantly, when he notices a warning sign on the wall: "Danger! Laser Security System! Disable from Cubicle." SNAKE stops his momentum by placing his hands on either side of the walls adjacent to the hallway. As he does this, he notices small laser emitters lining the ceiling and walls. He swims away, snatching the sign off the wall as he does so, and hides in a cubicle.
Cut to YORK and another GUARD, entering the room and looking it over. They see no sign of SNAKE, who is crouched down in a corner. YORK points towards the hall, and the other GUARD begins to swim towards it. Without the sign to warn him, he blusters ahead into the invisible lasers. There is a powerful explosion and the GUARD'S body is flung across the room. SNAKE hastily examines the cubicle and hits a yellow button on a keypad labeled "Disable Security." Then he peeks up from the cubicle, and sees YORK, who levels his harpoon gun and fires. SNAKE instinctively grabs a briefcase from the cubicle and holds it in front of his face, barely shielding himself in time. The harpoon punctures the briefcase and comes to a stop a half-inch away from SNAKE'S good eye. SNAKE sneers uncomfortably. The force of the impact sends SNAKE into the back wall. He drops the briefcase, which floats away, and fires his crossbow. YORK disappears in the explosion.
SNAKE looks around for other dangers and sees none. He makes his way down the security hall to a series of bars seperating the hall from a small square room. On a pedestal in the center of this room is a glass box, containing another glass box, containing a syringe. SNAKE aims his crossbow at a flickering device on the far end of the wall and fires. The light vanishes. The bars slide open. SNAKE slowly swims in, wary, then takes the box. Nothing truly dramatic occurs. Satisfied, he begins to swim back to the shaft.
SNAKE makes his way back to the shaft and swims up it. As he ascends to the cellar floor, the remaining GUARD is shocked to see him and instinctively leaps at him. SNAKE was not expecting this and is flung against the shaft wall. The two grapple. Suddenly the GUARD snatches the air producer on SNAKE'S belt, snapping the hose. SNAKE takes in a lungful of water. Paniced now, he reaches at his belt, finds a knife, and jabs it into the GUARD'S leg. The GUARD doubles over, and SNAKE takes the moment of distraction to speed out of the building.
His air is running low, and there are many halls to traverse. He enters the cellar, gasping for air that is not there. He swims up the stairs and has to make a choice. He looks at the elevator, then at the entrance door. Deciding he does not possess the time to navigate the shaft, he races for the building's entrance. He pushes at it, desperate. Things are looking grim, when he remembers his access card. He slides it into an adjacent slot and the door opens. SNAKE is beginning to black out as he tumbles out of the building into the deserted underwater streets of Cleveland. Now acting on instinct, he hastens to the surface, his lungs on the verge of imploding. It is looking close, and then...
...he breaks the surface, gasping and panting. The Excelsitron building and the ramp are shown in the shot behind him. All appears tranquil as he makes his way to the solid ramp and climbs onto it. He tears off a strip of his wet suit from the arm and pulls it tight around his wound. It should hold. SNAKE begins to feel more confident with his situation.
And then the camera shifts to show SLATER GREY with half a dozen guns pointed at SNAKE'S face. SLATER, on the bow of his speedboat, laughs.
SLATER: Well, Snake fucking Plissken. I had a feeling you might pop up.
SNAKE tries to retort, fails. He pants heavily and barely keeps himself from keeling over.
SCENE XI
SNAKE appraises his situation and decides he has definitely seen better. His exhaustion seems to catch up to him and he collapses on all fours.
SLATER, laughing: A little tired, Plissken?
He becomes deathly serious.
SLATER: You fuck. You killed all of my men, didn't you? Do you have any idea how embarassing that is to me?
Meanwhile, SNAKE is obscuring his hand motions with his head, which is slumped over his body. As he fakes weakness, he is removing the syringe from its protective boxes. SLATER, oblivious, continues rambling.
SLATER: Well, it's over for you, war hero. I can assure you, I will make sure you're sent to the chair. You've pulled your last escape--
SNAKE leaps to his feet, syringe in hand, poised to strike.
SNAKE: I never did like the Great Lakes much. What do you say I kill off every fucking fish in Lake Erie?
He pauses, sneering. Cut to SLATER, sputtering.
SNAKE: One drop is all it takes. Think I'm bluffing? Now point those guns away from my face.
SLATER, seriously out of sorts: Easy, Snake. Men, drop the guns.
SLATER'S men comply.
SLATER: All right, Snake. Now give me a moment. I'm sure we can negotiate.
SNAKE snorts: Turn around and head back to the border, asshole. How's that for negotiation?
SLATER slowly picks up his cellular phone. Cut to SNAKE, his finger primed to unleash death into the water. As he waits for SLATER, he turns his head ever so slightly to a low rooftop nearby. A man dressed in red and white robes is watching. Clearly, he has seen that the virus is in SNAKE'S hands. When he realizes that he has been noticed, he disappears into the shadows.
Cut to SLATER, activating his phone: Schliemann.
SCHLIEMANN'S VOICE: Do you have him, Sergeant Grey?
SLATER: Er, no, I've hit a difficulty. Schliemann, our friend Snake Plissken is standing here in front of me, threatening to drop that virus you CIA boys cooked up into the water.
Cut to SCHLIEMANN, in the border post, panicing and pacing.
SCHLIEMANN: Good Lord, Grey! You cannot allow him to do that! That would destroy the water supply of all the territories bordering the lakes! Plus all the rivers and tributaries stemming from them! Do whatever he says, but get that virus back!
Cut back to SLATER.
SLATER, becoming more confident: Plissken, you're not going to use that thing. The second you do, we'll tear you to shreds.
SNAKE: You're not going to shoot me. The second you do, goodbye Great Lakes. So don't do anything that might make me...jumpy.
SNAKE unhooks a pipe bomb and surreptitiously arms it. Never taking his eyes off of SLATER, he places it on the ramp midway between him and the border guard. Then he begins to back up, slowly, towards his jetski.
SLATER, wary: What is that thing, Plissken?
SNAKE, casually: Pipe bomb.
He hits the remote. The ramp detonates, forcing SLATER and his men to shield their faces. SNAKE stuffs the syringe into his belt pouch and hops on his jetski. The engine roars to life and SNAKE begins to ride off into the distance.
SLATER, shouting: After him! I want that fucker dead!
His men leap onto their respective vehicles and begin to speed after him. SNAKE releases his machine gun and begins to fire at his pursuers. SLATER and the men in the first speedboat duck for cover. AJAX begins to aim his rifle at SNAKE'S back. Then SNAKE pulls a hard right into a side-street.
SLATER, standing and directing: Alright, head him off. Luther, keep going and make the next right. We'll encircle him.
One of the speedboats moves off to comply.
Cut back to SNAKE, maneuvering through the streets. Behind him, SLATER'S speeboat can be glimpsed. Numerous gunshots are being fire from it, but SNAKE instinctively swerves and pivots to avoid them, periodically sending back a generous helping of gunfire. SNAKE makes a left and turns to face the front. Then he sees the missing speedboat barring off the intersection ahead, right in his path. In desperation, he throws himself off the jetski, his hands clenching onto a low roof nearby. The jetski rushes headlong into the speedboat, overturning it. SLATER'S men splutter and flounder in the water. SNAKE pulls himself to the top of the roof, straining with exertion, and begins to limp to an adjacent rooftop with as much speed as he can muster.
SLATER pulls to a stop and orders the vehicles behind him to do so as well.
SLATER: All jetski units, go after him. Clavell, follow me. We'll try to keep track of his position.
The two speedboats roar off while the twelve JETSKIERS begin to file up the roof after SNAKE.
Cut to SNAKE, climbing up a higher roof. He looks behind him and sees the JETSKIERS following. He fires at them, trying to keep them back. He runs across two more roofs, limping and heavily slowed. He looks to his right, and sees a watery plaza. This plaza is built at a high elevation, and is only waist-deep.
The JETSKIERS surmount a roof and begin to fire at SNAKE. Suddenly to SNAKE's left, the speeboats drive by on the street. The men inside see SNAKE and begin to fire. SNAKE grits his teeth and throws himself off of the roof.
SNAKE falls through the air and tumbles into the shallow water in a more or less perfect dive. He pokes his head above the water and sees the JETSKIERS beginning to file down a drainpipe into the plaza. On the far end, SLATER'S speedboat comes roaring into the area from a side street.
SNAKE submerges again and swims off to a fallen statue nearby for cover. He hides behind it, peeking at the border guard, who are beginning to flank him. He dives again, making his way underwater towards a lone GUARD who is searching the shadows at the edge of the plaza, machine gun readied. There is a pause. Then SNAKE bursts out of the water in front of him, his fist extended in an uppercut. The GUARD is propelled back and lands in the water, out cold. SNAKE begins to swim towards an alley, but SLATER has seen him.
Cut to SLATER, pointing FAWKES towards SNAKE and spouting unintelligible orders. His speedboat swings around towards SNAKE'S position, blocking his escape. Meanwhile, the rest of the border guard are closing in on him from behind. SNAKE looks around desperately--things are looking bleak.
SLATER, shouting to his men: Kill him dead!
The border guard levels their guns, but as they do, three of their number vanish in an explosion. Shocked, SLATER and the border guard turn towards the source of the fire. Cut to suitable reactions of what they see.
From a wide street nearby, a fully functional clipper ship sails out into the plaza, stopping where the water becomes too shallow. It is painted gaudily in red and white. Around the sides and bow are numerous artillery units where the cannon holes once were. The artillery units are manned by robed figures. The remaining cannon holes have oars in them, which are controlled by numerous rowers. A man in the crow's nest rains gunfire down on the plaza, and sitting on a chair in the center of the ship is a bearded man wearing a triple-crown and bright scarlet robes with a massive crucifix on the front. He carries a long staff, and shouts orders with fervor, spittle flecking his mouth. It is the ANTIPOPE. A man next to the ANTIPOPE, the very same man who watched SNAKE outside the Excelsitron building, whispers something to the ANTIPOPE and points out SNAKE in the distance. The ANTIPOPE nods and rises. Close-up of the ANTIPOPE.
ANTIPOPE, shrieking: The emissary of Satan has taken possession of the Lord's chosen weapon against the ranks of the unholy! Kill this Snake Plissken, and return what he has stolen to the true believers!
He gestures his men to enter the plaza. Several of them begin to dive overboard into the water, carrying Uzis. As they do, they pass by a plaque mounted on the bow: "Actual Re-Creation of the USS Constitution."
Cut to SLATER, his eyes widening. He has forgotten SNAKE.
SLATER: Christ. Get rid of this shit!
His men move to comply, ignoring SNAKE, who begins to head towards another side street. CLAVELL'S speedboat makes a half-turn and rushes toward the clipper. The first rank of the ANTIPOPE'S men meet SLATER'S. Machine guns blare. The ANTIPOPE'S men are cut down, but they vastly outnumber the border guard. More and more of the guard start to fall, and the water nearby turns bright red with blood. Finally, they fall back. The ANTIPOPE'S men do not follow them, instead opting to pursue SNAKE.
CLAVELL'S speedboat breaks through a small blockade of the ANTIPOPE'S men, scattering them. Their gunshots clip one of the guards, who topples out of the boat. But CLAVELL continues his charge, standing and spraying the clipper with machine gun fire. His men echo his actions. On the clipper, rowers begin to fall. Cut to an artillery unit, aiming at the offending speedboat. The first volley misses, exploding in the waves and rocking the boat. Then another shell finds its mark, and CLAVELL'S boat is obliterated. It rises fifteen feet in the air, and only its blackened hulk remains to land.
Cut to SLATER, still a ways back from the approaching clipper. Finally he comes to a decision and gestures wildly to FAWKES.
SLATER: Move! Move! Retreat! We need more men!
FAWKES, paniced, turns the boat around and roars down the street, away from the plaza. On the clipper, an artillery unit fires a shell, but it falls short. SLATER'S boat speeds toward the camera, with SLATER standing and screaming curses at the ANTIPOPE.
Cut to SNAKE, swimming as best he can away from the scene. When he sees he is being overtaken, he turns and fires a load into the first of the ANTIPOPE'S men. This man falls, but another rushes him, knocking his machine gun into the water and grabbing at SNAKE'S belt. SNAKE strikes him in the jaw and the man goes down, but a third assumes his position, snaring SNAKE'S belt pouch. The pouch comes off and the flap flies open, causing the syringe inside to fly into the air. SNAKE'S eye widens as he sees the oncoming catastrophe, but one of the ANTIPOPE'S men makes a wild grab for it, and disaster is averted before it hits the water. Another one of the ANTIPOPE'S men begins to aim a machine gun towards SNAKE, but it is too late, for he has submerged. The gunner looks around for his fleeing prey, firing random bursts into the waters.
Cut to SNAKE, treading water away from his enemies as fast as he can. Onwards he swims, until he must surely be on the verge of losing all air, when he sees a shadow above. He rises to the surface and finds himself under the shell of the destroyed speedboat, out of sight. Here, he peeks out at the ANTIPOPE'S men, who have given up the chase and are returning with the virus to the clipper. As soon as they board, they present the virus to the ANTIPOPE. Close up of the ANTIPOPE.
ANTIPOPE, gesticulating and shouting: By the grace of the Lord, we have come into possession of the artifact which can wipe away all traces of the sinners which infest this once holy planet. With this in our hands, the Lord's will shall at last be completed! Glory to the righteous!
The rowers take up their oars. The ship turns into a nearby street, while the rowers chant a gothic tune. They disappear into the distance, and suddenly, all is silent.
Cut to SNAKE, pushing aside his cover and wading out into the plaza, at a loss for options. After a long pause, he triggers his communications unit.
SNAKE: Twelve-Wolves.
A pause.
TWELVE-WOLVES'S VOICE: Plissken! What the hell have you been doing? According to my tracker, you've been up and down this city. And I'm getting reports that the Antipope is on the move.
SNAKE, reluctantly: I met up with him. He's got a hold of the virus now.
TWELVE-WOLVES'S VOICE, exploding: WHAT? You incompetent ass! That's it, then. This city is going to be a crater in about five minutes.
SNAKE, urgently: You gave me fifteen hours.
TWELVE-WOLVES'S VOICE: That was before you turned the virus over to that madman. Say goodbye, Snake Plissken.
SNAKE: I can get it back. I need more time.
TWELVE-WOLVES'S VOICE: Not likely, Plissken. I've given you enough trust.
SNAKE: I can do it, Twelve-Wolves. Four more hours.
TWELVE-WOLVES'S VOICE, after a long pause: Two more hours, Plissken. And that's all. Don't make me regret this, and don't be late, because I'm cutting off communications with you. The last thing I need is the police tracing these transmissions to me. If you're not in my office in two hours with virus in hand, goodbye Cleveland, and goodbye Snake Plissken.
There is a click, then static.
SNAKE: Twelve-Wolves? Answer me.
Silence. SNAKE looks at his life clock and sees the numbers ticking away-- from 13:31:14 to 02:00:00. He grimaces faintly and looks around, at a loss. Finally he begins to walk towards the edge of the plaza, unsure exactly as to where he is going. A lone tire floats by him suddenly, source unknown. SNAKE takes hold of this tire and sits back upon it, absently caressing his wound as he drifts away, deep in thought.
Time passes as he floats where the waters take him. Then a figure on a makeshift wooden raft begins to approach. SNAKE becomes aware of him and glances up. His eye reveals recognition. Cut back to the raft. TWENTY-NINE sits on it, cross-legged, rowing towards SNAKE using a board for an oar.
SNAKE: You again.
TWENTY-NINE: You appear troubled, Snake Plissken. Could it be that you failed to find salvation?
SNAKE: You might say that.
TWENTY-NINE: A shame...perhaps I can assist you.
SNAKE, hopeful, sitting upwards: Can you take me to the Antipope?
TWENTY-NINE, eyes widening: He is an evil man. But there may be one who can help you...if that is your choice.
SNAKE, intensely: I don't have any more choices.
TWENTY-NINE: If you wish it, then, I will take you to the Crab.
SNAKE climbs aboard TWENTY-NINE'S raft and take up a spare oar. The two begin to paddle away into the distance.
SCENE XII
SNAKE and TWENTY-NINE continue paddling down the streets.
SNAKE: How much farther?
TWENTY-NINE: Peace, Snake Plissken. It is still a ways.
He pauses.
TWENTY-NINE: Someone is coming.
He is correct: there is the roar of a jetski engine in the distance. It is a shrill, loud, pulsating sound--very distinctive.
SNAKE, to himself: I know that engine.
He begins to paddle the raft to block off the street. TWENTY-NINE, confused, cease his rowing to stare at SNAKE. SNAKE stands and stares at the approaching jetski, a highly personalized unit with colors and logos and designs. SNAKE unstraps his missile launcher and aims it. The jetski approaches, revealing the rider: a delicate black man, so effeminate as to be almost pretty. His clothing and hair are somewhat androgynous: this is CARJACK, a Cleveland gun runner.
CARJACK: Hey, move the hell out of my way, boys!
SNAKE: Carjack.
CARJACK, recognizing SNAKE: Plissken! Shit...
He looks behind him as if to turn around.
SNAKE: Don't try it, Carjack, if you don't want to feel this missile against your backside.
CARJACK panics, begins to hesitate.
SNAKE: Don't fuck with me, Carjack.
At last, Carjack comes to a stop in front of the raft. He begins to rise, only to have SNAKE hit him twice in quick succession, in the face and chest, hard. Carjack doubles over.
TWENTY-NINE: No violence, Snake Plissken! Please!
SNAKE, almost unbelieving, turns to look at him. He relents and grabs a keeling CARJACK by the neck.
SNAKE: You asshole. You left me behind in the subway station.
CARJACK: Christ, Plissken, we were outnumbered. You should have run yourself!
SNAKE: I don't like being betrayed, especially by my partner. Thanks to you, I've developed an intimate relationship with Annie Twelve-Wolves.
CARJACK, shocked: Twelve-Wolves?
SNAKE: That's right.
CARJACK: I'm sorry, Plissken, but a man has to look out for himself. You know that.
SNAKE: Listen, you fuck. Here's the deal. If you don't want to die, you're going to do what I say. We have two hours to get some merchandise of Twelve-Wolves back from the Antipope before she blows this city into little pieces.
CARJACK: You can't be serious, Plissken. That's impossible!
SNAKE: That's nuclear power, Carjack. Would I lie to you? Now shut up and help me out. You, take the driver's seat.
He gestures to TWENTY-NINE. TWENTY-NINE nods and complies. SNAKE shoves CARJACK into the seat behind TWENTY-NINE. Then he props himself up on the back of the jetski.
SNAKE: Move.
The jetski revs up and begins to move into the distance. Cut to several brief shots of the three riding through the streets. Finally, TWENTY-NINE pulls up next to a large building with a deteriorating sign which proclaims it to be "Cleveland Wastewater Treatment." The trio dismount and begin to walk up the stairs towards the building, TWENTY-NINE leading the way. SNAKE calmly surveys the area while CARJACK'S head flits back and forth nervously. The three enter the doorway.
Cut to the border encampment on the outskirts of Cleveland, where the guards are poised for action. Cut to the inside of the main command unit. SCHLIEMANN paces back and forth, examing the contents of a manila folder. There is a clamor outside, and SCHLIEMANN goes to investigate.
Cut to SCHLIEMANN emerging from the building. SLATER'S six remaining border guard are limping into camp. One of them is badly wounded, and is being supported by AJAX. SLATER sees SCHLIEMANN and his face becomes blank.
SCHLIEMANN: I could take this opportunity to make numerous satisfying comments to the effect of 'I told you so,' but we've got better things to do with our time, Sergeant.
SLATER: I had him under my guns, Schliemann. I would have wrapped up this case clean if the Antifuck hadn't appeared like that.
SCHLIEMANN: My sympathy for you knows no bounds, Sergeant Grey. Unfortunately, things are becoming complicated. There are too many loose ends wandering the waterways of Cleveland and we don't know which one of them is carrying the virus. So its time to organize some patrol sweeps--
SLATER, becoming irked: I'm not taking any more bullshit CIA advice. Piss off, 'cause I'm making my own plans.
SCHLIEMANN, becoming irked: There wasn't anything wrong with my original plans, Grey. You lost Plissken because you were sloppy. If you could just lay off your pretentious southern land baron spiel for two seconds, you might be a decent police officer. But until you can do that, I'll handle tactics.
SLATER, shouting: Wait just a fucking minute, Schliemann! I would have had Plissken if it hadn't been for the Antipope. And the Antipope wouldn't have shown his ugly face if he hadn't been after that fucking virus that you CIA geniuses brewed up and left behind to fester when you ran out of your fucking secret laboratory with your fucking tails between your fucking legs! So fuck you, Schliemann!
The rain intensifies, soaking SLATER as he screams. Thunder and lightning play in the background.
SCHLIEMANN, loud but controlled: Damn you, Slater Grey. This isn't about the CIA and it isn't about satisfying your ego. That virus has an unprecedented amount of power. The welfare of the world's nations are in turmoil as long as it's in the hands of sociopaths and madmen like Snake Plissken and the Antipope. Whatever you think of me and my organization doesn't matter one bit. What matters is the security of your country. So stop posturing at me and start organizing speedboat sweeps. We need to find that virus. Soon!
There is a pause. Then SLATER turns around and begins barking orders to his men. After a moment, he turns back to SCHLIEMANN.
SLATER: You're wrong, Schliemann. This IS about my ego. Now it's personal between me and Snake Plissken, and neither of us is leaving the city until one of us is in a bodybag. Don't forget that.
SCHLIEMANN stares at him, expressionless, and retreats back to the shelter of the command center. The winds begin to pick up.
SCENE XIII
Cut to interior of the Wastewater Treatment building. It is a large and gaudy lobby, with a double set of stairs descending into the surface. All around the lobby are a hideous assortment of scavenged goods: rugs, paintings, hangings, and decorations: animal heads, archaic weapons, Indian tapestries, an Australian flag, pop culture posters, mismatched furniture, faux Greek statues, a player piano, two suits of armor, even a large totem pole. It is a massive assault on the senses. Half a dozen cats and dogs meander through the rubble. A cat circles SNAKE warily. CARJACK absently pets a nearby dog, his eyes wide as he tries to intake all the mishmash.
From a second-floor railing surrounding the mess below, five GUARDS patrol the room. There are three men and two women, and they are dressed in clothing very similar to the style of the entire room--scavenged jeans, jackets, dresses, nightwear, furs, swimsuits, caps...everything is there. The five weapons they point at the trio below are fairly diverse as well.
CANUTE: What's new, pussycat?
TWENTY-NINE, calling out the password: Tell the Crab...it's not unusual.
CANUTE: Is that you again, Twenty-Nine?
TWENTY-NINE: It is.
CANUTE lowers his gun. He is a short man wearing the pants from a fancy suit, a frilly shirt, a plaid jacket, and a gold beret. Beside him, beautiful MADDIE steps into view, wearing black boots, a glitzy and expensive blue dress, and a Cleveland Indians baseball cap worn backwards.
MADDIE: How do you know the password? I thought we changed it.
TWENTY-NINE gives a half-shrug: I would like to see the Crab, Maddie, if I may.
MADDIE: I think the Crab is a little tired of you, Twenty-Nine.
TWENTY-NINE: I have brought Snake Plissken.
CANUTE, blinking: Snake Plissken isn't real.
SNAKE grabs the submachine gun hanging from CARJACK'S belt and and fires a dozen rounds at the nearby wall. A suit of armor falls with a clatter. A tapestry is shredded. A faux ming vase shatters into pieces. There is a long pause.
CARJACK, matter-of-factly: He's real.
SNAKE: I don't have time for this shit.
Up on the railing, CANUTE and MADDIE exchange glances. Then there are footsteps from the stairs at the far end. CANUTE makes his way to a pole and slides down to the lobby, and MADDIE begins to climb down a nearby ladder. They head towards the stairs, meeting the three figures who are ascending. The CRAB'S grating voice rings out.
CRAB, dripping liquid sarcasm: No, I'm not at all interested in why gunshots are ringing out in my lobby. Please, no one come down and explain it to me. I love surprises--just let me go upstairs and check myself.
CANUTE: It wasn't us, Crab. It's Snake Plissken.
CRAB, from behind CANUTE: Oh, really? Snake Plissken?
Recognition flashes in SNAKE'S eye.
SNAKE: Hannah Helman.
CRAB: Snake Plissken?
SNAKE snorts. The CRAB shoves aside her men and briskly strolls to within a foot of SNAKE'S face. The CRAB is, well, Janeane Garofalo, wearing a tight pink and green wetsuit. A knife is at her belt, and a set of goggles is pushed up over her head. A crab is tattooed on her left forearm.
CRAB, disbelieving: Oh, no. Not you.
SNAKE looks annoyed and lets his gaze wander away. CARJACK turns to face SNAKE.
CARJACK: You know the Crab, Plissken?
SNAKE, meeting the CRAB'S gaze: You've lost weight, Hannah.
CRAB: Uh-huh. And you've lost about forty percent of your brain, if you think you can just stroll in here after nineteen years and take out your primitive masculine aggressions on my fine Persian tapestries.
SNAKE: I need your help, Hannah.
CRAB, smiling hugely: Really? Is that so? Well, that's great! Hey, fuck you! You still seem to think that I'm an overweight ten year old tagging along with my brother in the slums of Kansas City. It's been two decades, you dick, and now I've moved up in the world. So don't go making demands on me.
SNAKE: I never did like you. Your brother was less annoying. I never felt the urge to put a bullet through his skull.
CRAB, rolling her eyes: Don't you dare talk about my brother. You got him killed in New York, while you went on to become Snake Plissken, the great American legend.
SNAKE: I didn't kill him, Hannah. He hit a mine, and there wasn't a fucking thing I could do about it. Remember, he died for his country.
CRAB, sniffing: Yeah, great. If I take that and add another three quarters, what's it worth?
SNAKE, almost grinning: It's not worth shit.
CRAB, throwing up her hands: That's exactly right. Jesus. Well, then, Snake. Welcome to my little scavenging emporium. As you can see, my fortunes have changed since Kansas City.
SNAKE, glancing about the room: And now you're the Crab.
CRAB, glaring: Yeah, so?
SNAKE: The Crab. Suits you.
CRAB, snapping at him: Shut up.
SNAKE glances at his watch. 01:40:45.
SNAKE: I don't have time for any more banter, Hannah. I need your help.
CRAB: Wow, you need me. I like that. Snake Plissken needs my help. That's worth listening to, I guess. Well, come on, let's go downstairs.
She turns and head for the stairs, followed by SNAKE, TWENTY-NINE, and reluctantly, CARJACK. Her two lieutenants, KENT and INEZ, flank her. They descend down into the bowels of the building.
Shot of the treatment center. It is a long room with an extended window on one wall looking out onto a canal which once carried the sludge of Cleveland, but now contains only freshwater. The room has been converted into a laboratory with miscellaneous devices and lab tables. Several of the CRAB'S men scurry about.
CRAB: This is my research division, gentlemen. My ticket to fame and fortune.
CARJACK, out of sorts: You mean you run a scavenging operation...and fiddle with biochemical research on the side?
CRAB, testily: If that's okay with you, yes.
She leads them to the window and gazes out at the rushing water.
CRAB: So, Snake, how may I ease your life today?
SNAKE: A man named the Antipope has something I need. You're going to help me get it back.
CRAB, emitting pure sarcasm: Hmm, let me think about that one. Okay, I've got my answer. Fuck you. Now that business is concluded, you can get lost.
SNAKE: This is important, Hannah.
CRAB: So's my life, and I'm not going to toss it away making a raid on that fanatic. He's powerful, Snake. There's nothing he could have that would be worth invoking his divine wrath.
SNAKE shoves his life clock into her face.
SNAKE: This is how long you have to live, Hannah. When that counter hits zero, Annie Twelve-Wolves is going to detonate this city. Unless we have what she wants.
The CRAB stares at him.
CRAB: Twelve-Wolves? I'm not sure I approve of the company you've been keeping lately, Snake.
There is a long pause.
CRAB, weakly: She's going to detonate Cleveland?
SNAKE, nodding: Nuclear bomb. Under the city.
CRAB, going a little pale: Oh. Well...that...changes matters. So...what's your plan, Snake?
SNAKE: The Antipope has a virus. Lethal shit. Designed by the CIA. Twelve-Wolves doesn't want him to have it, and we're going to take it from him.
A deep voice from behind SNAKE speaks. This is DOCTOR BASIL BLACKWELL, a dignified British scientist with a bushy beard and a large frame.
BLACKWELL: A CIA virus? What virus?
SNAKE, turning: A nasty one. Who the hell are you?
CRAB: This is Doctor Blackwell, the head of our research outfit.
She exchanges glances with BLACKWELL.
CRAB: Oh, no. You don't think--
She wheels on SNAKE.
CRAB: Snake, you don't mean the Excelsitron Sigma virus.
SNAKE nods.
CRAB, pacing frantically: Oh, shit.
CARJACK, throwing up his arms: What is going on here?
The CRAB turns back to SNAKE.
CRAB: Listen, Plissken. We know all about that virus. We've been trying to recreate it for months.
BLACKWELL: But only so we could modify it. I used to work in the CIA labs in the Excelsitron building. I helped engineer that virus. It's a terrible thing, intrinsically deadly, and the repercussions of its use are staggering. Then it occurred to me that with a little modification, the bacteria could be used for important medicinal purposes. Imagine: releasing it into the human bloodstream, where it could purify all imperfections. I planned to steal the research and complete it on my own, but then it was finished, and before I could act, the floods came.
CRAB: Since then we've been helping him scavenge materials and documents from the Excelsitron building to recreate the CIA's work.
TWENTY-NINE: A noble goal.
SNAKE, sneering: You're quite the philanthropist, Hannah.
CRAB: Shut up. The Doctor has promised us a share of the profits. They should be...impressive.
BLACKWELL: Unfortunately, we've had no real success. If we had had the original we might have been finished by now. I wasn't aware that it was still there; I assumed the CIA had cleared everything out. If only I had known...damn and blast.
CRAB: We've been struggling for months to design a new one. This is the best we've been able to do.
She takes a syringe from a nearby rack and hands it to SNAKE.
CRAB: It will replicate in water, just like the old one. But it's not at all dangerous. It results in something more or less like the chicken pox, and once your immune system has experienced it for a day, you'll never feel it again.
BLACKWELL: The other virus is a thousand times more potent. And if the Antipope has possession of it...
TWENTY-NINE: My friends, you cannot allow him to retain it.
BLACKWELL: He's correct. You must do something, Crab.
CRAB: Okay, just shut up. I'm thinking. Look, I'll try to get a raiding team organized. Twenty-Nine, go upstairs and tell my men to come down to the lab.
TWENTY-NINE: Certainly, Crab.
He leaves.
CRAB, looking after him and shaking her head in thought: Strange man. He's an utter pacifist...wanders all over the city trying to keep the peace between the factions. He's either a Saint or a complete nutcase.
BLACKWELL: He was an inmate in the Cleveland prison. I'm disgusted to say that we enlisted several prisoners to do tests on. Most of them died in the flood. This one was labeled number 29, and that's what he insists on being called, all the time.
CRAB, coming out of her daze: We're losing time. Blackwell, go tell Kent and Inez to...find...some equipment. Weapons and swimwear.
BLACKWELL: Of course. Crab, you musn't falter in this mission.
CRAB, permeating the air with sarcasm: Oh, no? Well, I was planning to, but if you don't want me to, then I guess I won't. Go to hell.
BLACKWELL, moving off and muttering: Sometimes I think I'm already there...
The CRAB turns to SNAKE and CARJACK.
CRAB: This building is the perfect location for a scavenging operation, since all the sewers cross here. We have maps of them, and we should be able to find an underwater route that will bring you within spitting distance of the Antipope. Remember, you owe me for this, Plissken.
SNAKE turns to CARJACK.
SNAKE: And you owe me, Carjack. So you're going to keep the Antipope distracted while I find the virus.
CARJACK: And how am I going to do that?
SNAKE, holding CARJACK'S gun up to his face: You're going to make a lot of noise.
SCENE XIV
Cut to the CRAB mustering her men around a circular pool connected to the laboratory. SNAKE, CARJACK, and TWENTY-NINE watch her as she makes preparations for the raid. She has equipped fifteen men and women in whatever swimwear she has been able to dig up--a few wetsuits, but mostly bathing suits and bikinis. Some have facemasks, goggles, or flippers. The flippers do not always come in pairs.
CRAB, turning to INEZ, who is wearing a flimsy bikini: This was all the swimwear you could find?
INEZ, defensively: I didn't have time to make a trip to the mall, Crab.
CRAB, snorting: Wonderful. The Antipope versus the Swimsuit Models of 2008. Do we have weapons?
KENT wheels in a cart. KENT is tall and dark and is wearing bermuda shorts.
KENT: We've got weapons!
He begins to hand them out--there are a few machine guns and handguns, but also an old elephant gun, tommy gun, black-powder musket, and a cowboy pistol.
CRAB, horrified, picking up the musket and the blunderbuss: Where on Earth did you get these things, Kent?
KENT: Historical Museum. Why?
CRAB, shaking her head: This is going to be quite a scene.
SNAKE glances at his life clock--01:27:20.
SNAKE: Time's passing, Crab.
CRAB: Yes, I know.
She turns to her men.
CRAB: This is the plan. I'll lead us down the sewers. There are fairly regular air pockets, and we'll catch our breath there. When we exit, we'll break the surface together, and provide cover for Plissken with a frontal assault on the building. He'll sneak around to the smaller entrance on the west side. Fairly simple, right? Great. Now, no one get killed, okay?
TWENTY-NINE: I will be going as well.
SNAKE: You'd just get in the way.
CRAB: Besides, you won't touch any weapons.
TWENTY-NINE: Not true. Would you please lend me your pipe bombs, Snake Plissken?
SNAKE stares at him for a moment, appraising. There is a long pause. Finally he shrugs, removes his belt, and gives it to TWENTY-NINE. The others grab their weapons. Finally, the CRAB salutes BLACKWELL and dives into the pool. SNAKE follows.
The party makes their way down the shaft, going by the laboratory window. BLACKWELL stands there, waving at them as they leave. SNAKE and company enter the old sewers. The CRAB begins to lead them down passages, skillfully turning and weaving through the tunnels. Shot of SNAKE, brandishing his crossbow and looking around warily. The CRAB motions to a shaft of light above and breaks the surface. SNAKE follows.
CRAB: That's the first one.
After a moment, some of the others break the surface, breathing deeply. The area above is a low overhang, barely two feet high.
CRAB: Four more.
SNAKE: I'm going ahead.
CRAB: You don't know where to breathe. I'll go with you.
They dive together and begin to navigate the waterways, heading for the next shaft of light. They reach it, surfacing, and fill their lungs with air. CARJACK emerges a few seconds behind. This area is wider than the last air pocket--it is a room of some sort with a crevice in the floor leading back to the watery sewers. Barrels and crates are scattered around. They have been thoroughly looted. Stairs lead upward to the open ruins of a building. SNAKE climbs out of the water onto the floor and looks around warily.
CARJACK: Where are we?
CRAB, panting heavily: Bomb shelter for the City Hall.
SNAKE cautiously makes his way towards the stairs and climbs them halfway. Point of view shot as SNAKE peers through the fallen walls and sees a police speedboat pulled up to the foundation of the building. Several OFFICERS recline on it, prepared for action, their guns at the ready as they scan the area. Police chatter crackles through the speaker.
Cut back to SNAKE, heading hurriedly down the stairs. The others have surfaced.
SNAKE: The cops are on the move.
CARJACK: Shit, Plissken, they're probably patrolling every street in this city looking for you.
CRAB: Isn't it nice to feel wanted, Snake? Okay, enough air. Everyone, back in the hole.
She looks around.
CRAB: Where's Twenty-Nine?
INEZ: I saw him behind me. I'm not sure where he went.
SNAKE looks at his clock--1:19:19--seems to hesitate. Then he speaks.
SNAKE: We don't have time to look for him.
CRAB, reluctantly: He's right. Let's go.
One by one, the party dives. Cut to more shots of them making their way through the sewer tunnels.
Cut to a sewer grate on the underwater streets of Cleveland. A figure swims up beneath it and, heaving and straining, pushes it aside. The grate floats away. The figure is revealed to be SNAKE, who swims out of the opening. He is followed by the CRAB and her men. The CRAB gestures upwards, gives a thumbs up, and swims toward the surface, where a massive shadow hovers over the group. SNAKE swims away in another direction.
In unison, the CRAB'S party emerges from
the water. It is still raining, but with less force. Wide shot of the ANTIPOPE'S
Headquarters. It is the remnants of the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame. The entrance
has been replaced by a huge sliding metal door, which is heavily barred and
sealed. The area near the entrance has been converted into a shallow crescent-shaped
harbor of sorts, and the ANTIPOPE'S clipper is stationed here, along with several
speedboats. On top of platforms situated on the front wall of the Hall of Fame
piles of sandbags have been stacked around the edges to form a defensive rampart,
and numerous members of the KNIGHTS OF ST. JOHN patrol with Uzis, using open
flames for heat and warmth. Several artillery units line the far tower.
The CRAB'S men immediately begin scaling the sides of the clipper. Two KNIGHTS stationed there turn in surprise and call the alarm, but are immediately cut down by CARJACK. He grins, pleased, but then whirls as more KNIGHTS appear from below decks, Uzis erupting. At the same time, the KNIGHTS on the roof see the attackers and begin raining fire down upon them.
Cut to SNAKE, emerging late, swimming towards the left side of the harbor, where debris has been stacked to form a rocky ledge. He reaches the outcropping and begins to sneak around the wall unseen.
Cut back to the clipper, where the firefight is beginning to intensify. INEZ storms the upper deck with her tommy gun blazing. Meanwhile, KENT is climbing the rigging, periodically firing down at the KNIGHTS on the deck, heading for the crow's nest. The CRAB stands on the lowest deck back to back with CARJACK, circling and firing at any KNIGHTS who approach. Cut to INEZ, leading three of the CRAB'S men onto the bow and taking position behind the artillery unit mounted there. INEZ fires, and a portion of the sandbags above goes up in flame. Cut to CANUTE, on the far deck, spraying the enemies with fire from his blunderbuss.
Cut back to SNAKE, turning the corner. A KNIGHT is stationed there and sees him, firing. SNAKE ducks behind the corner again, raising his crossbow.
Cut back to CARJACK and the CRAB. They continue circling, warily. Suddenly three KNIGHTS charge CARJACK in unison. He guns down two, but the third knocks him out of the way.
KNIGHT: I commit you to the flames, heathen!
The remaining KNIGHT leaps on the CRAB, propelling her backwards. They wrestle, and the CRAB fires her machine gun through his chest at close range. The KNIGHT begins to topple, forcing the CRAB to lose her footing. She tumbles overboard into the waters below.
Cut to SNAKE, who rolls into a crouch around the corner and fires his crossbow. The KNIGHT vanishes in flame. SNAKE turns around briefly to look at the action on the clipper, only to see the CRAB pulling herself over the side of a speedboat. SNAKE instinctively looks upwards and sees a KNIGHT on the roof with an artillery unit aimed at the boat.
SNAKE: Get the fuck off that thing, Hannah!
The CRAB looks up as well and sees the danger. She gasps and leaps forward as the artillery shell careens towards the boat. The CRAB sinks beneath the water. The speedboat is obliterated. SNAKE rushes to the water's edge and searches for her. There is a long and uncomfortable moment. Then she crawls out onto the outcropping, coughing. SNAKE reaches out a hand for her.
SNAKE: Change of plans. You're coming with me.
CRAB, dazed: Right.
They make their way around the corner. Cut back to the ship. KENT has reached the crow's nest and takes aim with his machine gun at the men on the ramparts. Two of them fall. They fire back, but KENT ducks behind the nest. Shot from his point of view of the chaos on the decks below--men and women in bathing suits and bikinis firing archaic weapons at heavily robed fanatics. Cut to MADDIE, patrolling the decks. A KNIGHT drops from the rigging in front of her. With lightning speed she pulls out her cowboy pistol, aims at the man, and fires a shot into his belly. Cut to INEZ, firing another artillery shell. It goes wide, and the enemy fires one back at her. She sees it coming and dives out of the way, but the bow of the ship explodes, destroying her unit and killing two of the CRAB'S men. Cut to CARJACK and CANUTE, rushing down the deck and clearing out the remaining KNIGHTS. The CRAB'S men begin to take positions around the front of the ship, holding off the KNIGHTS on the roof.
Cut back to SNAKE and the CRAB, hurrying around the outcropping, weapons at the ready. Above them is a forgotten fire escape about ten feet up the side of the building. A rusty ladder dangles off the balcony. SNAKE makes a quick scan of the area, then leaps for the ladder. He catches onto the bottom rung and begins to pull himself up. Suddenly the balcony door is flung open and three KNIGHTS rush out. Cut to SNAKE, grimacing, reaching for the gun at his belt. He remembers too late that he has none. One of the KNIGHT'S boots stomps down on SNAKE'S hand, hard, and our hero loses his grip, landing on his back. Things are looking grim until the CRAB wheels out from behind the corner and opens fire. The KNIGHTS die quickly.
The CRAB goes to help SNAKE to his feet.
CRAB: You're getting old, Snake.
SNAKE glares at her. Then he briskly walks over to a discarded Uzi which has fallen to the ground. He crouches to pick it up. As he does so, he sees a pair of simple leather boots belonging to a figure who has just rounded the corner. SNAKE leaps to his feet, gun raised, hissing. When he sees TWENTY-NINE he relaxes. A little.
CRAB, sputtering: Twenty-Nine! Where...? How did...?
TWENTY-NINE, gently: I follow my own paths, Crab. Come, time grows short.
SNAKE looks at his life clock--1:05:37. Uh-oh. Without further hesitation, SNAKE jumps for the ladder and pulls himself up it. The CRAB and TWENTY-NINE follow closely. Uzi readied, SNAKE slides into the fire escape door. Dangerously.
SCENE XV
SNAKE slides onto the second floor. All around him, the glass panes of the walls are streaked with rain, making them opaque. The room ahead is a dark and cluttered affair--a rarely used wing of the building.
CRAB: This is it. The last remnants of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Guess the Antipope isn't a music lover.
SNAKE begins to walk across the room, sidestepping exhibits. The sounds of gunfire are faintly heard from outside. The CRAB follows SNAKE, close behind him. TWENTY-NINE trails behind a ways. Suddenly SNAKE stops in his tracks, listening intently. He begins to scan the room. Point of view shot as he gazes from one side to the other, intaking all the old exhibits. Then he looks upwards and sees a grate in the ceiling. Soft speech echoes from it. SNAKE stands on a nearby pedestal and pulls the grate out of place. Then he pulls himself up the shaft.
Cut to SNAKE crawling through a narrow ventilation tube, dusting cobwebs out of his path. The speech grows louder...it is the ANTIPOPE, shrieking. Finally SNAKE reaches a grate looking out onto the third floor of the building. This room is long and narrow and has been converted into a throne room of sorts. The ANTIPOPE stands in front of his throne (a fine rosewood chair) with staff in hand, shrieking at his followers, who prostrate themselves in neat columns before him.
ANTIPOPE: ...even now seek entrance into our inner sanctum in the land of Satan! But we shall crush them under our feet, trample them down in the tracks of holy righteousness! With the weapon we have found, we shall strike a fatal blow against the President, this Mephistopheles incarnate, and bring his Capitalist Empire to its knees! This Sword of Vengeance rests now, in the shrine. With God's will, we shall release it into the waters of Cleveland, and the Holy Knights of the Lord shall triumph! Now, O faithful sheep, pray to the Almighty, and ye shall be saved!
There is a long pause. Then the ANTIPOPE gestures to his right-hand man, ALI. ALI approaches.
ALI: O Antipope, thy will be done. Is the weapon in readiness?
ANTIPOPE: Yes, Ali. It is secure in the shrine above our heads.
Cut to SNAKE, watching intently. Cut back to ALI.
ALI: The battle outside fares well.
ANTIPOPE: Who deigns to strike the Chosen, Ali?
ALI: We believe it is the nefarious Crab, as well as the man known as Snake, who acts for the accursed Twelve-Wolves.
ANTIPOPE, turning around to mutter under his breath: We're being attacked by the Cleveland Zoo...
As the ANTIPOPE shifts his position, he turns towards the grate where SNAKE is hiding. SNAKE hurriedly backs up and drops back down the shaft. The ANTIPOPE just misses him.
Cut to SNAKE, sliding back down into the 2nd floor gallery. He turns to the CRAB.
SNAKE: It's on the 4th floor.
CRAB: That's a relief. We only need to sneak up two floors crawling with religious fanatics.
SNAKE ignores her and begins to make his way across the room to the far metal door. The sounds of gunshots and rain are still evident from outside. SNAKE approaches the door and opens it a crack, peeking through it. He sees a long hallway painted over with crude religious frescoes. A tattered rug runs from end to another, where a staircase extends up and down. Eight KNIGHTS patrol this hallway. These KNIGHTS appear to be the elite--their robes are a deep scarlet and their inner clothing is a bright yellow. They wear the Maltese Cross around their necks, and the same design is embroidered on the backs of their clothing. The left sides of their faces are tattooed with the same Cross, and they wear shining medieval helmets of Swiss design. They carry Uzis slung over their shoulders. The largest of the KNIGHTS, apparently the leader, carries a long pike.
Cut back to SNAKE, glaring at them and raising his Uzi, ready to strike. The music intensifies to hint at the approaching battle. SNAKE is just about to fling open the doorway when the CRAB behind him speaks in a low whisper.
CRAB: Snake, do you know what the layout--
Cut to the CRAB, who steps onto a floor pad. Suddenly every light in the room flares up and a loud voice begins to speak. The CRAB is startled and drops her submachine gun, which disappears somewhere in the mess.
ANNOUNCER: This year, with the release of Peter Gabriel's latest album, "Nameless Album Number Four," we present the live remix of his classic "Sledgehammer!"
A holographic image of Peter Gabriel appears on a nearby pedestal, singing. "Sledgehammer" begins to echo out from the speakers on the wall with an impressive amount of volume. The KNIGHTS in the hallway are already rushing for the deserted wing. SNAKE bolts away from the door and sprints away from it. The CRAB slips behind an exhibit detailing Jenny McCarthy's astounding musical career until her tragic death in 2009. Cut to TWENTY-NINE ducking behind a glass case containing Huey Lewis's favorite harmonicas.
SNAKE tears across the floor with impressive speed, considering his limp. (remember his limp?) The door behind him bursts open just as he dives behind the case with Elvis's original stage suit. Machine gun fire tears it full of holes, shredding it, and shatters the glass case. Cut to the KNIGHTS, spreading out to search the room. "Sledgehammer" continues.
Cut to the CRAB, crawling away from the Jenny McCarthy exhibit to look for safer ground. Cut to SNAKE, crawling away from the remnants of Elvis's suit. Cut to TWENTY-NINE, peering from behind the harmonica case. Cut to the KNIGHTS, searching around the room.
Back to SNAKE, who has slid down a row of exhibits to a wiring box on the far wall. He peeks between a crack and sees the KNIGHTS approaching. He hurriedly opens the box and flips all the switches inside. Behind the nearby KNIGHTS, holographic images of Sting, Alanis Morissette and the Bangles wink into existence, singing mutely. The KNIGHTS whirl to investigate the motion, and SNAKE leaps up from his position, Uzi blazing. The KNIGHTS fall, firing randomly with their last strength. The remaining five KNIGHTS turn to SNAKE, and unload a clip into him. Fortunately for our antihero, he has already vanished behind a row of display cases.
Cut back to the CRAB, taking advantage of
the distraction to crawl across an open area of the floor and leap into the
side window of Janis Joplin's Porsche. She peeks out of the back seat warily.
"I wanna be your Sledgehammer, why don't you call my name..."
Back to SNAKE, making his way down the row of display cases. They are obliterated by Uzi fire from the KNIGHTS. SNAKE squeezes between the cases into another row. The KNIGHTS cease firing--they've lost his position. They begin to split up once more. SNAKE rises to one knee, aims his crossbow and fires a quarrel across the room. It detonates on the far wall, destroying a Metallica exhibit and distracting the KNIGHTS. SNAKE jumps up and sprints across the room, firing his Uzi. One KNIGHT falls. The four remaining fire back and rush towards SNAKE'S position. One of them comes to stand three feet in front of the CRAB'S refuge. He does not see her hiding in the back seat.
The four KNIGHTS are still looking for SNAKE. The PIKEMAN begins to fall back to search the entire room. At this moment, TWENTY-NINE dashes out from behind the harmonica case to search for better cover. The PIKEMAN sees him and begins to head in his direction. The KNIGHT near the CRAB sees TWENTY-NINE as well, and pivots his Uzi for a clear shot. Cut to the CRAB, looking paniced. She glances around, desperately, and sees the remnants of a glass case containing John Lennon's Sgt. Pepper guitar, blown apart by gunfire. The guitar has come to rest only a few feet from her. She reaches out, carefully, carefully, to avoid alerting the KNIGHT in front of her. Shot of her fingers, only a few inches short. Shot of the KNIGHT, squinting. He has TWENTY-NINE in his sights. Back to the CRAB, who reaches out as far as she can, grabs onto the guitar and swings it with all her might into the skull of the KNIGHT. The guitar splits into pieces and the KNIGHT goes down.
"Show me round your fruit cage, 'cause I will be your honey bee..."
Cut to SNAKE, peeking out from behind a display case honoring James Taylor's efforts to unite the Soviet Union and America during his concert in Moscow in 2004. The KNIGHTS are not looking in his direction, and he takes the opportunity to find better cover. He runs across the exhibit room floor. The two nearby KNIGHTS whirl and see him. Dodging gunfire, he races towards protection. His course takes him directly into the holographic image of Peter Gabriel, who wavers a bit with SNAKE'S impact and the subsequent impact of the gunshots. SNAKE is running out of strength, and in desperation makes a dive into the side window of Janis Joplin's Porsche. He slams into the CRAB just as her head pokes up and propels her back. The two land in the back seat, SNAKE on top, in a somewhat suggestive position. SNAKE sneers in annoyance.
CRAB, grimacing: Look, I'm not enjoying this either.
Suddenly the car is riddled with gunfire from the two nearby KNIGHTS. SNAKE crawls off the CRAB into the front seat, ducking bullets. Lo and behold, Janis Joplin's Porsche comes with Janis Joplin's keys. SNAKE turns the key in the ignition and the automobile roars to life.
"I've kicked the habit, shed my skin..."
Meanwhile, the lone PIKEMAN is searching for TWENTY-NINE, who is ducking behind a row of exhibits. The PIKEMAN catches his motion and knocks them aside, exposing TWENTY-NINE. He raises his pike, prepared to strike.
Cut to SNAKE hitting the accelerator. The car lurches across the room, knocking over exhibits on all sides. Its path takes it straight towards the PIKEMAN. The PIKEMAN turns, shocked, and futilely raises his pike to ward off the vehicle. The Porsche slams into him, crushing him against the far wall. The Porsche is totalled. SNAKE rolls out of the vehicle as the front explodes, dropping his crossbow in the process. The two remaining KNIGHTS are sprinting towards him. SNAKE reaches for his Uzi, but it is clear that the two KNIGHTS have the drop on him. Suddenly the CRAB makes a grab for the crossbow, firing it through the shattered remnants of the back windshield. The last KNIGHTS vanish into flame, along with a good amount of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. "Sledgehammer" fades out. Suddenly everything is very quiet. The lights dim.
Cut to the ANTIPOPE, in meditation with the rest of his flock. His eyes wink open abruptly, and he turns to ALI.
ANTIPOPE: The battle intensifies, Ali.
ALI: You speak truth, O Antipope.
SCENE XVI
Cut to the battle outside. CARJACK, INEZ, KENT, and the others are still attempting to take out the barricades on the front wall. The battle is going against them. As CARJACK scans the area, the man next to him is struck by artillery. CARJACK is flung back, shell-shocked. He watches as two KNIGHTS leap from the ramparts onto the ship, Uzis spitting fire. Two more of the CRAB'S men fall before the KNIGHTS are shot down. CARJACK rises to his feet and begins to make his way down the deck. KENT turns.
KENT: Damn you! Where are you going?
CARJACK: It's too hot here for me, boys!
KENT and INEZ watch as CARJACK leaps off of the clipper and swims onto a speedboat. Within seconds the speedboat has made a full turn and is roaring down the watery streets.
KENT turns to INEZ.
KENT: They're really going to kill us, aren't they?
INEZ, thoughtfully: Maybe...
The camera follows her point of view. She is looking at the artillery units on the side of the clipper. KENT follows her gaze.
KENT: Are you thinking...
INEZ: We're not using our resources very efficiently, are we, Kent?
KENT turns to his men.
KENT, shouting: We've got to turn this boat around!
SNAKE makes his way down the 2nd floor hall, followed by the CRAB and TWENTY-NINE. The windows on the right wall are still thoroughly darkened by the rain. The left wall is covered with a religious mural portraying the Knights of St. John trampling upon their enemies. SNAKE hurriedly heads to the stairs, hesitating at the base. The ANTIPOPE and his FLOCK have begun a haunting, gothic chant. The CRAB, coming up behind SNAKE, shudders.
After a short pause SNAKE begins to ascend the stairs. The others follow him. The chant grows louder, more eerie. Finally, SNAKE reaches the top of the stairs. Shot of what he sees. It is the assembly hall which SNAKE observed earlier through the grate, complete with checkered floor, red rug, and a rosewood throne on the altar near the far wall. The FLOCK prostrate themselves in front of the ANTIPOPE. All have their eyes closed as they chant. Across from the FLOCK are stairs to the small fourth floor.
SNAKE waits until he is sure that no one is watching. Then he gestures for the CRAB and TWENTY-NINE to remain as he slowly makes his way across the hall. He start off carefully, wary, but his stride picks up when he realizes that the FLOCK is deep in religious ecstasy. He picks his way across the room and slides into the fourth floor stairwell. Shot of the CRAB, releasing a nervous breath. The chant picks up.
Cut to SNAKE, hurrying up the stairs. After a moment, he bursts into the shrine. The shrine is lavishly decorated with expensive paintings and statues. A fine green rug covers the room. In one corner, multi-colored cushions are stacked up in a makeshift bed. From behind a nearby translucent silk curtain, four HAREM GIRLS peek out nervously. They are dressed very scantily, and are shyly covering themselves up with the cushions and the curtain. SNAKE snarls at them in contempt, pointing his gun in their direction. They squeal and draw back. SNAKE scans the room for the virus. Then, in the corner, he sees a syringe on a cushion on top of a marble pedestal. He rushes over to it and hurriedly picks it up, raising it to his eye level. After a moment he nods in approval and turns back to the stairs. Abruptly, the CRAB and TWENTY-NINE appear, entering the shrine. SNAKE'S eye widens.
SNAKE: What the hell--
The ANTIPOPE and ALI follow the CRAB and TWENTY-NINE, and then the rest of the FLOCK begin to file into the room, still chanting.
CRAB: I'm sorry, Snake. They massed up on us--
ANTIPOPE: So, Snake Plissken. You thought you could move unseen within the Fortress of the Lord. It was a foolish hubris.
ALI: They must be delivered up to God, O Antipope.
ANTIPOPE: Indeed. We shall disjoin their souls from their bodies, and in their blood, impart the Holy Arrow into the Heart of Cleveland. Come, we must go below.
TWENTY-NINE: Justice will be done, Snake Plissken. Do not worry.
KNIGHTS appear from the stairs, surrounding SNAKE. His jaw tightens in frustration as he looks down at his life clock--00:46:14.
Cut to CARJACK, guiding his speedboat through the streets. He is out of breath, but his face portrays relief. He looks around the streets for dangers. Suddenly, a police barricade consisting of two speedboats rears up in front of him, sirens echoing. CARJACK'S jaw drops, and he attempts to make a quick turn, but another speedboat blocks off his retreat. Defeated, he slides to a stop in front of the barricade, parodying his earlier meeting with SNAKE.
SLATER GREY and AJAX are in the front seat of the nearest speedboat. SLATER examines CARJACK curiously.
SLATER, grinning: Well, now, you seem to be in a hurry. What's the rush?
CARJACK: I didn't mean to--
AJAX: You know who this is, Sergeant?
SLATER: Uh-uh.
He produces his ubiquitous thermos of coffee and takes a sip.
AJAX: It's Carjack Malone. Petty thief. I've picked him up a dozen times. Far as I know, he's wanted for a hundred different robberies from all over the city.
SLATER: Christ. We set our sights for Plissken and all we find is some criminal bug. Well, take him back to the border and squash him.
CARJACK: Wait! You're looking for Snake Plissken?
SLATER: What if we are?
CARJACK, slyly: Maybe we should talk...
Cut back to KENT and INEZ, directing CANUTE and MADDIE as they shift the position of the clipper using the wheel and rudder. The firefight rages on all around them, and only a few of the CRAB'S men are left. The boat slowly begins to slide around, so that the broadsides are facing the Hall of Fame. KENT and INEZ begin to collect their men around the artillery, covering their tracks with machine gun fire. The CRAB's men get a quick handle on the artillery and begin to fire back at the ramparts. Explosions jolt the defenses on the sides of the building. The tide of the battle is turning.
SCENE XVII
Shot of the lowest floor of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Once the lobby, it has now been flooded with water. A huge sealed metal door leads to the harbor where the clipper ship is moored. Metal platforms line the walls to form walkways. On either side of the room, stairways lead down. The stairway leading to the second floor is opposite the metal door.
For a moment, all is silent except for the sounds of battle outside. Then, chanting and roaring, the FLOCK prods SNAKE down the stairs. The CRAB and TWENTY-NINE follow. The CRAB is nervous, and her eyes flick to SNAKE'S face periodically for reassurance. But SNAKE and TWENTY-NINE are calm and serene...for different reasons. The FLOCK spreads around the sides of the watery pool in the center of the room. The ANTIPOPE stands at the head of the stairs. ALI flanks him closely, holding a green cushion. At a sign from the ANTIPOPE, a nearby KNIGHT removes SNAKE and the CRAB of their weapons. TWENTY-NINE'S pipe bombs go unnoticed.
TWENTY-NINE, aside to SNAKE: The time of reckoning approaches. Keep yourself strong, Snake Plissken.
SNAKE glances at him, uncomprehending.
ANTIPOPE: The moment of triumph will arrive soon. But first, we shall make an offering to the Lord who guides our actions. Open the pen.
A KNIGHT near the door opens a control box and flips a switch. Shot of a gate underneath the water's surface sliding open. A dark shape circles inside. It moves out into the water to explore its new boundaries.
Shot of the pool from above. The figure floats across the pool with lethal grace. Cut to the CRAB, eyes wide.
ANTIPOPE: And now, the offering. The girl, Ali?
ALI, nodding: Your wisdom serves you well, O Antipope.
ANTIPOPE: So shall it be.
He raises his hand. Suddenly ALI darts for the CRAB, shoving her over the edge. Her scream is muffled by the water. She flounders and rises, struggling to reach the edge. The shape under the water becomes aware of her and starts to drift in her direction. Shot of SNAKE looking towards the ANTIPOPE. The ANTIPOPE turns to face him.
ANTIPOPE, grinning slightly: Do you wish to rescue her? By all means, you may enter the water.
SNAKE looks at him, then back at the pool. At the pool, then back at the ANTIPOPE. He looks at the CRAB swimming to the corner. She attempts to pull herself over the edge, only to be roughly shoved back into the water by a KNIGHT. The figure draws closer to her. SNAKE meets the CRAB'S eyes.
SNAKE, softly: Fuck.
Then he acts. He grabs a nearby KNIGHT by the neck and shoves him into the pool. Then he leaps inside himself. Point of view shot as the waters close over his head. Finally, he sees what the figure is: a huge hammerhead shark. The shark looks at the new arrivals into his domain and begins to dart towards the fresh meat. SNAKE is closest. The shark bears down on him. SNAKE kicks desperately at the shark, three times. The blows have little effect, but the shark becomes dazed and diverts his course. He discovers a new target: the KNIGHT. Panicking, he attempts to swim away. SNAKE takes advantage of the moment to break the surface. The CRAB has surfaced as well.
CRAB: You're quite a philanthropist, Snake!
SNAKE: Shut up.
He gestures the CRAB towards the edge of the pool. Then he looks back towards the shark. A stain of blood is spreading around the far end. The shark has already tired of this diversion and returns to attack SNAKE and the CRAB. The two are overtaken before they can reach the edge. SNAKE exchanges glances with the CRAB. They understand each other. Together, they turn to attack the shark. The shark is not expecting this, and allows its attackers an opening. A second later, it is buffered with blows. SNAKE kicks at its head effectively, connecting with its face, while the CRAB pounds at its body with her fists. The shark is caught off guard, becomes confused, and fails to strike back. SNAKE and the CRAB take advantage of this moment to dive.
Underwater, the CRAB points out the pen in which the shark was kept. The CRAB enters, followed by SNAKE. It is a small, empty square room. The CRAB wheels again and sees the shark returning to make the kill. She scans the area frantically and sees the retracted gate at the top of the chamber. She points it out to SNAKE, and the two grab hold of the bars. Muscles straining, they struggle to yank the gate loose. The shark moves closer and closer, picking up speed. The gate begins to give way. The shark is almost upon them, mouth yawning open, when the gate finally snaps out of place. SNAKE and the CRAB use it to shield their face. The shark slams into it at full speed, biting at it. SNAKE and the CRAB are forced back into the wall, but their defense holds. Unable to break through the gate, the shark moves off to ram it with increased momentum. SNAKE and the CRAB swim out of the chamber and emerge from the water, breathing deeply. SNAKE immediately focuses his attention on dismantling the gate. He heaves at a bar, muscles bulging. With a loud screech of metal on metal, the sharpened bar of the gate comes loose. SNAKE pushes off against the side of the pool, streaking towards the shark. The two meet underwater, and it looks as if our antihero is sure to be the creature's dinner. Then SNAKE shoves the makeshift spear into the shark's open mouth.
Cut to the CRAB, above the surface. Blood is wafting from the location where SNAKE and the shark faced-off, and it is obscuring the victor.
CRAB, frantically: Snake! Snake!
There is an uncomfortable pause. Then SNAKE emerges from the water, covered in blood. He intakes deep breaths of air. He glances towards her, and then they swim to the side of the pool together. Panting and gasping, they climb out of the water.
ANTIPOPE: An impressive battle. The Lord has received his offering, it seems. You have done well, Snake Plissken. Indeed, I may wait some time before killing you.
SNAKE, wet and bloody, glares at him. The CRAB falls on all fours. TWENTY-NINE exchanges glances with both of them.
ANTIPOPE: And now, we strike.
Shot of his hand, reaching for the syringe. It rests upon a green cushion in ALI'S hands. The ANTIPOPE takes the syringe and holds it above the water.
ANTIPOPE: Guide my hand, O Lord.
He squeezes the syringe. A single drop falls into the pool below. There is the soft sound of water hitting water. A sickly green tint begins to spread across the inside harbor. It covers the area with impressive speed. Shots of the CRAB, horrified, SNAKE, irritated, TWENTY-NINE, serene, and the ANTIPOPE, deep in religious euphoria. The ANTIPOPE gasps in wonder.
ANTIPOPE: What hath I wrought?
His voice booms out.
ANTIPOPE: And now, open the door!
A KNIGHT moves to the control panel to flip the appropriate switch. Suddenly the CRAB wrests an Uzi from a nearby KNIGHT and open fire at the control box. The controls fuse, smoking. The CRAB is beaten down by nearby KNIGHTS. Her Uzi falls into the water.
ANTIPOPE, screeching: Curse you! Curse you, Satan's wench! You will be cast into the flames, concubine of the Archfiend!
He continues ranting, then looks up at the KNIGHT near the control box, who shakes his head. The ANTIPOPE begins to froth at the mouth.
ANTIPOPE, screaming: Open the door! Open the goddamn door! Somebody blow it open!
TWENTY-NINE steps forward abruptly, removing a pipe bomb and visibly arming it.
TWENTY-NINE: This may serve your need.
CRAB, from her prone prosition: Twenty-Nine, no!
ANTIPOPE: You will destroy the door?
TWENTY-NINE: Your actions have made my purpose clear, Antipope.
The ANTIPOPE grins widely.
ANTIPOPE: Ah, fellow believer! Come, then! Perform the Lord's will!
TWENTY-NINE: Indeed I shall.
He raises the pipe bomb, then surreptitiously disarms it again. No one notices. He tosses it into the water, near the door. It sinks with a splash. TWENTY-NINE turns to the ANTIPOPE.
TWENTY-NINE: You should possess the honor.
He removes the remote and approaches the ANTIPOPE, handing it to him. Then TWENTY-NINE kneels at the ANTIPOPE'S feet.
CRAB, struggling: Damn you, Twenty-Nine!
Imperceptibly, TWENTY-NINE reaches down to his belt and arms the two pipe bombs remaining. He turns to SNAKE. SNAKE grins at him, a sad, cynical, knowing grin, and nods respectfully. He is poised to act. Cut back to TWENTY-NINE, looking upwards, but not at the ANTIPOPE. He is very calm. A faint backlight illuminates his head like a halo. Cut back to the ANTIPOPE, sweat trickling down his face, eyes wild.
ANTIPOPE: And now, I commit all enemies of the Lord into the flames!
The ANTIPOPE hits the remote. He vanishes in the explosion, along with TWENTY-NINE, ALI, and several of the KNIGHTS OF ST. JOHN. SNAKE immediately grabs his crossbow from the KNIGHT nearest to him, knocking him into the water. SNAKE begins to unleash explosive quarrels all around the room. Several KNIGHTS are killed. They begin to fall back, panicked with the death of their leader. The CRAB takes a discarded Uzi and begins to cut down more and more of the KNIGHTS. The room rapidly begins to empty. None of the KNIGHTS attempt to fight back. Several of them leap to their deaths into the pool, failing to surface. The others retreat up the stairwell. Suddenly, all is silent. There is a pause.
CRAB, moved: Oh, Twenty-Nine...
SNAKE: Brave man.
SNAKE takes an Uzi and his fallen missile launcher, looking around the room. After a moment, he finds what he was searching for. He walks over to the syringe, which has rolled away to the far corner. SNAKE kneels and examines it. It is unharmed. SNAKE slips it into a belt pouch and rises.
CRAB, slightly dazed: I wonder how my men are doing out there.
Cut to KENT and INEZ, finishing up the last of the ramparts. The defenses are shattered and the KNIGHTS are almost all dead. A final shelling finishes them off. The CRAB'S men let out a loud cheer.
KENT: Lord Almighty. We did it!
INEZ: All right, now we bash down that door!
KENT begins to direct the men to the oars. The clipper ship starts to rock back and forth, its shattered bow careening into the door. It buckles slightly.
Cut to the CRAB and SNAKE, glancing upwards. The next impact shakes the door severely. The CRAB looks at the virus-infected water, then back at the weakening door.
CRAB, horrified: Oh, no.
SCENE XVIII
Cut to the clipper ship, bashing into the door again and again. It will not hold for long.
Cut back to SNAKE, looking around desperately for answers. He sees the basement stairs at the end of the room and begins to sprint for them. The CRAB, confused, follows.
CRAB: Where are you going?
Cut to the dark and cluttered basement. Stairs lead back up to the first floor. The room is a storage area for foodstuffs and similar goods. SNAKE rushes down the steps, head pivoting left and right. A moment later, he finds what he is looking for. He heads for a pile of sacks, tearing one open. Fine white grains fall from the gap. SNAKE lifts one to his mouth and tastes it. Satisfied, he takes two of the bags and heads back to the steps, passing by the CRAB.
SNAKE: Take some of those bags of salt and follow me!
The CRAB moves to comply as SNAKE carries his load into the harbor. Without hesitation, he begins to scatter the salt all around the water, pacing from one edge to another. He repeats this twice, while all this time the door is developing serious portrusions. The pool begins to turn a milky white. The CRAB rushes up the steps, seriously overloaded with two bags which are leaking salt behind her. She makes her way to the water's edge, but her burden causes her to lose her balance and fall into the water. She vanishes for a tense moment as SNAKE watches the water, waiting. Then she rises again, spluttering.
CRAB: I'm all right. I'm okay. I think we've killed it.
At this moment the door finally gives way, shattering into pieces and collapsing into the harbor. Through the newly formed opening the clipper sails, with KENT standing proudly on the bow, clearly pleased with his heroic rescue. He sees the CRAB in the water and grins from ear to ear.
KENT: Here I am--
CRAB: What the fuck did you think you were doing? You could have killed us all!
KENT: I--
CRAB: Just shut up!
KENT exchanges a helpless look with INEZ, who shrugs. Cut to SNAKE, who looks at his life clock--00:35:56. SNAKE has had enough of this cavorting around Cleveland, and without further ado dives into the water. The CRAB and her men watch as he surfaces near a speedboat tethered in the outside harbor and climbs into the driver's seat. SNAKE guns the engine and disappears around the corner.
CRAB: Snake, wait! Damn you, wait!
The CRAB tosses her goggles to the floor in frustration.
Cut to SNAKE, speeding through the streets. He is not taking any chances as he embarks on a ride with numerous sharp turns and traffic violations. He squeezes in between two jetskis and passes another speedboat like a madman. Numerous shots of SNAKE returning to the terminal tower as quickly as he can. Finally, he sees it looming above him behind the next row of streets. SNAKE makes what should be the final turn and comes to a stop at the courtyard surrounding the building.
A well-fortified blockade of border guard speedboats and jetskis block the entrance, flashing lights all around the square. SNAKE comes to a stop in front of the largest speedboat, a heavily armed unit which contains our old friends, SLATER GREY and AJAX. SNAKE'S face remains impassive as he makes a quick glance at his life clock--00:22:05. Then he notices CARJACK on a police jetski next to SLATER'S speedboat.
SNAKE: Carjack.
SLATER: Got to hand it to you, Mr. Malone. You sure called this one.
SLATER turns to SNAKE, sipping his coffee nonchalantly.
SLATER: Hey, Plissken. Your friend Carjack here told us all about your exploits in the Antipope's headquarters. He told us you'd come back here if you got the virus from him. So the question was, who should we put our money on? You or the Antipope? The Hall of Fame or the Terminal Tower? You should be flattered, Plissken, 'cause we chose you.
SNAKE: Someday I'll strangle you with your own intestines, Carjack.
CARJACK, looking nervous: Sorry, Snake. Business, you know.
SLATER turns to CARJACK.
SLATER: All right, Malone. Deal's a deal. Get out of here.
CARJACK: Right. See you, Snake.
He turns his jetski with considerable haste and begins to roar down the street, heading for the border. SNAKE glares after him.
SLATER, sipping his coffee: Shit, what's his hurry?
He turns back to SNAKE, an evil glint in his eye.
SLATER: We have you this time, Snake fucking Plissken.
He rises off of his boat and leaps into SNAKE'S, coming to stand right in front of his face. He draw his handgun and holds it to SNAKE'S forehead. SNAKE does not flinch.
SLATER, snarling: Think you're a big man, don't you, war hero? Oh, yeah, you're Snake Plissken. You saved the President. We ought to just hand you a big fucking medal on a silver platter, right, war hero?
He nudges SNAKE back a little.
SLATER, beginning to rant: What's the matter, Plissken? No witty retort? Come on, say something funny. Show everyone what a clever son of a bitch you are. Too scared, Snake?
This time he pushes SNAKE back a foot. SNAKE bears all this with a certain apathetic dignity.
SLATER, emitting spittle: Can't think of anything to say with a gun next to your skull, can you? You've never really looked death in the eye, have you, you dick? You're just pissing in your pants, aren't you, you weak-kneed little pansy.
He slaps SNAKE, hard across the face. SNAKE absorbs the blow and looks at SLATER with murder in his eyes. But he doesn't speak.
SLATER, almost frothing: Kill all my men, will you?
Slap.
SLATER: Make me look like some incompetent rookie, right?
SLATER decks him.
SLATER: You stupid fuck. Give me one reason why I shouldn't spill your brains now? Answer me, you cowfucker. One reason.
Now SNAKE speaks. Very, very dangerously. He holds up his life clock (00:19:35) to SLATER'S face and looks him right in the eye.
SNAKE, lethally: This city is going to go up in flames in nineteen minutes if I don't get that virus into that building. Kill me, and you've got that much time to get your ass away from the border. How do you like that?
SLATER is momentarily speechless.
SNAKE: Answer me, you cowfucker.
SLATER: Shit, you're such a fucking liar--
SNAKE, loudly: No, you fuck. Twelve-Wolves is going to set off a bomb under the city unless I do what she told me to do. If you don't believe me, just wait twenty minutes. When your flesh is melting off your skin, you'll wish you had listened.
Dangerous pause.
SNAKE: Now get out of my face.
SLATER: You're bluffing. I'm going to kill you right here.
AJAX, hesitantly: I don't think so, Sergeant. He looks like he's telling the truth.
SLATER turns murderously to AJAX.
AJAX: No one would make up a story like that. And look how fast Malone hightailed it out of here.
FAWKES, standing up a little: You'd better let him in the building, Sergeant.
SLATER, screaming: Don't you tell me what to do, you fucking cowards! I'm the Sergeant here!
AJAX, beginning to panic: Damn it, Sergeant, you're going to get us all killed!
He rises and begins to approach SLATER. They face off for a second.
SLATER: Back off.
AJAX, brazenly: Give me the gun, Sergeant.
He makes a sudden motion for it. SLATER fires three times, and AJAX screams and falls into the water. FAWKES leaps from the driver's seat at SLATER, but not fast enough. SLATER guns him down as well. He turns back to the rest of his patrol.
SLATER, screaming: Don't any of you fuck with me!
Suddenly there is a ruckus as the CRAB and her men leap from the tops of nearby buildings onto the other police speedboats. Two of them apparently have had enough of this situation and take off down the street. The others move to fend off the CRAB'S men in hand-to-hand melee. Everyone seems hesitant to kill, but the battles to gain control of the boats are nonetheless intense. Cut to SLATER, looking back at this chaos. SNAKE has had enough of this overinflated lunatic and slams his head into SLATER'S skull, hard. SLATER crumples, dropping his gun into the water.
Cut to the CRAB, leaping from boat to boat, leading the attack on the border guard. Cut to several scenes of hand to hand combat as border guard and CRAB'S men clash. The border guard is losing morale very quickly, however. They are not fighting at peak efficiency, and more and more boats break off from the battle to flee.
Cut to SNAKE, lifting up SLATER by his throat and punching him in the face. SLATER crumples again. SNAKE repeats the action, but this time SLATER kicks out, connecting with SNAKE'S belly. SNAKE is forced back, groaning, and SLATER leaps from SNAKE'S boat onto his. SNAKE recovers in time to catch SLATER in a flying tackle. The two land on SLATER'S boat, grappling at each other.
Cut to more scenes of the CRAB chasing off the border guard. She very clearly has the advantage now.
Cut to SNAKE, rising to get some distance between himself and his adversary. SLATER, prone on the floor, reaches up and grabs SNAKE by the belt pouch. The pouch opens, spilling the virus syringe onto the floor. SNAKE kicks SLATER in the face. SLATER looks beaten, but then regains his feet and charges SNAKE. The two wrestle on the side of the boat. SLATER, unaware, kicks the syringe into the air. It lands on the edge of the boat, beginning to teeter over the edge.
SLATER slams SNAKE'S head against the side of the boat. Then he kicks at SNAKE'S leg wound three times. SNAKE grits his teeth in horrible pain. Cut to the virus syringe. The angle of the boat has almost propelled it over the side. Things are looking bleak. Cut back to SNAKE, who reaches desperately for SLATER'S discarded coffee thermos and clubs him over the head with it. SLATER goes down, releasing his grip on SNAKE. The shift in weight causes the virus to roll the other way, back into the boat. SNAKE drops the coffee thermos and throws himself on SLATER. The two resume their wrestling. SLATER'S elbow hits the boat's accelerator and it lurches forward, hitting the nearby wall of a building. The motor remains on, and the boat continues to move forward, its momentum blocked by the obstacle in its path. The angle of the boat tips wildly so that the back begins to sink into the water, while the front appears to be attempting to climb up the side of the wall. The virus rolls across the floor into SLATER'S open coffee thermos.
Cut to the CRAB, who has taken control of her speedboat. She looks over to SNAKE to check his progress.
SLATER and SNAKE continue wrestling. SLATER'S elbow hits the reverse lever and the speedboat lurches back a little. The virus syringe rolls out of the thermos, along with a trace of sickly green liquid. SNAKE pulls himself away from SLATER, grabbing hold of his head. He slams it into the dashboard three times. Then he does it three times more.
Cut to the CRAB, calling out to SNAKE. She begins to move her speedboat towards his.
CRAB: Come on, Snake! We're running out of time!
SNAKE seems reluctant to stop fighting, but a glance at his life clock--00:14:30--convinces him. He gets to his feet, backing up. SLATER is too dazed to react. SNAKE kneels quickly, grabs the virus on the floor, and slips it back into his belt pouch. He exchanges a quick look with SLATER, then jumps onto the CRAB'S boat. The CRAB moves off towards the terminal tower entrance.
SLATER shakes his head and comes to his senses. He begins to scream after SNAKE.
SLATER: Fucking pansy! Come back here, you shit! I'll kill you, Plissken!
Cut to the CRAB, navigating her speedboat through the surrounding chaos. She reaches the entrance, and the two step out into the doorway. The CRAB looks back, calling out to her men.
CRAB: Scatter! I'll meet you back at the base!
Cut to the CRAB'S men, calling off the attack. They start to vanish into alleys and over rooftops. Cut back to SNAKE and the CRAB, turning and bolting into the doorway.
Cut to TWELVE-WOLVES'S office. She looks out the window at the melee occurring below. Behind her, MAIMING BEAR enters the room, coming to her side.
MAIMING BEAR: What is going on out there?
TWELVE-WOLVES: Looks like the police are fighting off some sort of local gang. I don't know why they're barricading my building.
She pauses.
TWELVE-WOLVES: It no longer matters. Plissken isn't going to come through. Get my plane ready.
She looks over at MAIMING BEAR ominously.
Cut to the CRAB and SNAKE, rushing through the deserted lobby. The CRAB, lighter on her feet, tears ahead of him. She looks back.
CRAB: Come on, we'll take the elevator!
SNAKE winces a bit and groans softly. Then he alters his course for the stairs.
CRAB: We're taking the stairs? Plissken, where are you going?
SNAKE steps onto the stairs, Uzi readied. He turns the corner and the sounds of gunshots and screams echo. The CRAB follows close behind.
Cut back to the square outside the terminal tower. The last of the CRAB'S men disappear into the shadows. Only two police speedboats are left. The guard onboard look around warily. An efficient officer, CHRISTINE, takes charge.
CHRISTINE: It looks like we've beat them back. We'd better head back to the border and tell Schliemann.
Suddenly SLATER rises from his resting position in a nearby speedboat. He rubs his bloodied head painfully. CHRISTINE and her men see him and exchange nervous looks. Then CHRISTINE becomes firm and confident.
CHRISTINE: Sergeant Grey, please stand. You're under arrest for murder and mutiny.
SLATER looks at her, almost uncomprehending. Then he produces a gun with lightning speed and holds it level at the other officers.
SLATER: You two-faced bastards. Go ahead, go back to the border. Tell Schliemann to kiss my ass. He's not going to be seeing much more of me.
With his gun steady, SLATER backs up and hits the accelerator on the boat. It roars to life and heads down the street, away from the square. SLATER looks behind him only to check that his path is clear. Satisfied, he picks up his thermos of coffee and drinks a sip in salute, grinning merrily.
SLATER: Tell Schliemann he'll never get that virus. No one ever will! See you later, shitheads!
He is very pleased with himself for about two seconds. Then his face turns white and he reaches for his throat. He begins to scream.
SCENE XIX
Cut to SNAKE and the CRAB, rushing up the stairs, guns blazing. Various goons of TWELVE-WOLVES fall to the ground.
CRAB: Why aren't we taking the elevator?
SNAKE, ignoring her: How many floors does this building have?
CRAB: Fifty-Two.
SNAKE grimaces. He continues his ascent through the building. More gunshots and screams ring out.
Cut to a shot of the roof, where TWELVE-WOLVES'S plane (jumbo-sized, with vertical lift-off technology) is warming up in the pouring rain. Numerous THUGS surround it, waiting. TWELVE-WOLVES appears at the head of a flight of stairs, followed by MAIMING BEAR. The two make their way across the landing pad.
Cut to SNAKE, bursting through the fifty-second story door. He finds himself in the same hallway in which his adventures in this silly screenplay began. He dashes through it, glancing at his life-clock. 00:02:25. Uzi raised, the CRAB trailing, he kicks open TWELVE-WOLVES'S office.
It is empty. Utterly empty.
CRAB, appearing behind him: Where is she, Plissken?
SNAKE is just as confused. Then he hears an engine roar from above. Without waiting, he turns around and heads back into the hall.
Cut to the roof. The last of the THUGS file onto the plane and seal the door. There is a short pause. Then the engine's volume doubles in intensity and the plane begins to rise from the landing pad. Suddenly SNAKE and the CRAB rush out of the stairs. SNAKE sees the plane departing and begins to rack it with gunfire. Nothing changes. The plane begins to turn.
Desperately, SNAKE glances around for an innovation. His gaze lights up on a nearby hangar. Running towards it in the rain, he finds a sleek hang glider tethered up, painted in camoflauge. SNAKE hurriedly begins to loosen its restraints. He looks back, and sees that the plane has left the roof. SNAKE does not bother to buckle himself into position, instead starting to sprint across the landing pad. The CRAB is almost left behind, but she grabs hold of the bar next to him in time.
CRAB, shouting over the wind: What on Earth do you intend to do, Snake?
SNAKE does not answer. The edge of the roof leaps up at them, they begin to fall...and suddenly they are airborne. Above shots of them soaring over the watery ruins of Cleveland. Huge buildings tower below them, appearing out of the clouds. SNAKE guides the glider towards the plane, which is beginning to pick up speed. The glider is more maneuverable, however, and SNAKE propels it to a position below the hull of the aircraft.
Cut to TWELVE-WOLVES, who sits at a round table in the center of the largest room of the plane. MAIMING BEAR stands beside her, and the rest of her organization is seated around the perimeter of the table. They are all very solemn as they watch her remove a remote and tap in a six digit numeric code. She puts her finger on the enter key.
Cut to SNAKE, removing the missile launcher from his back. No mean feat, in that he must hold onto the hang glider bar unsupported with one hand. He aims it towards the base of the plane, then turns to the CRAB.
SNAKE: Don't go far.
Shot of his life clock. Three seconds. He fires the missile a little ways behind him. The bottom of the plane erupts into flame. Then he lets go of the bar. The CRAB gasps.
Shot of TWELVE-WOLVES, covering her face as the table beneath her disappears into flames.
Cut to SNAKE. The wind carries him away. He reaches out his hand and latches onto the side of the newly formed hole in the plane. With all his strength he throws himself over the edge, into the plane. He narrowly avoids being crushed as the vaccuum sucks a large fragment of the table to plug up the opening. Suddenly SNAKE is in the center of the plane, surrounded by numerous THUGS, who are all readying their weapons. SNAKE does not hesitate, however, and fires his Uzi. He knocks the remote out of TWELVE-WOLVES'S hand. It clatters into the corner. The two stare at each other for a moment.
TWELVE-WOLVES: That was quite an impressive entrance, Snake. I must admit, I am shocked.
SNAKE, sneering: Happy to please.
TWELVE-WOLVES: None of this changes the fact that I'm going to kill you unless you have the virus. Did you get it, Snake?
SNAKE stares at her for a long, tense moment. Then he reaches into his belt pouch and pulls out a syringe. He puts it in MAIMING BEAR'S outstretched hand. MAIMING BEAR appraises it.
MAIMING BEAR: Looks legitimate to me.
TWELVE-WOLVES: Very nicely done, Snake.
SNAKE, watching her carefully: Now where does it go?
TWELVE-WOLVES: Seems to me that since I'm already on this plane, I might as well make my way to the Mid-East. I won't name names, but there's a certain country that would be simply orgasmic if something unpleasant was to happen to the freshwater supply of the tiny Nation of Lithavonia. But none of that concerns you, Snake. Your usefulness has expired.
SNAKE: Great. Just drop me off at the border.
TWELVE-WOLVES and MAIMING BEAR begin to laugh.
TWELVE-WOLVES: Oh, Snake, you are naive. It's very appealing. But I'm afraid I meant it literally when I said your usefulness had expired. You're dangerous, Snake. You're a loose cannon, and I don't want you dogging my steps, looking for revenge. You did promise to get me killed, remember? So I'm afraid this will be goodbye.
She raises her hand in a signal. Instantly, all guns in the room are trained on SNAKE. TWELVE-WOLVES grins.
TWELVE-WOLVES: Any last words, Snake?
SNAKE watches her. Cut to his foot, edging aside the table on the floor just a little bit. Through the gap, he sees the CRAB'S glider circling. SNAKE looks TWELVE-WOLVES in the eye.
SNAKE: The name's Plissken.
In slow motion he pushes aside the table and steps through the opening. There is time for a quick shot of TWELVE-WOLVES'S shocked expression before the cut to SNAKE plummetting through the night sky of Cleveland. The CRAB sees him falling and angles in his direction, mouth gaping in shock. SNAKE reaches out with one hand, grasps the bar, loses his grip, falls, reaches out with his other hand, connects, and pulls himself into position.
CRAB: You stupid jackass! Christ, Snake! Don't make me do that!
SNAKE looks her way.
SNAKE: No one asked you to come.
The CRAB begins to curse under her breath. Cut to their glider, sailing through the sky, towards the border, away from the plane. Heading for safety.
SCENE XX
Cut to the border guard camp. SCHLIEMANN is supervising the anarchy as two GUARDS wheel a cart with SLATER'S body--in a bodybag--past him. SCHLIEMANN turns and barks more orders to two GUARDS who are carrying a large glass case with "DANGEROUS" and "CONTAMINATED" signs on it. In the center of the glass case is SLATER'S coffee thermos. SCHLIEMANN turns from his work and takes a deep breath, looking into the sky for answers. He is basically unsurprised to see SNAKE PLISSKEN heading away from the border in a hang glider, well out of reach. He just sighs a little.
SCHLIEMANN: You've won again, Snake Plissken. God save us all.
He turns back to his work.
Cut to SNAKE and the CRAB, standing in a secluded grassy field a little ways from the border. The hang glider has been left nearby. The sun is slowly appearing over the horizon. The CRAB watches the sunrise, then turns back to SNAKE. The two look at each other for a moment.
CRAB: Well.
SNAKE looks at her curiously.
CRAB, softly, haltingly: I won't...bother using up my...valuable time...making some sort of embarassing...romantic pass at you. It would just be...a waste of effort.
SNAKE looks at her curiously.
CRAB, saddened: That's pretty much what I figured. Well. Goodbye, Snake Plissken.
SNAKE: Bye, Hannah. See you in another twenty years.
CRAB, sighing: Right.
Suddenly she wheels on him, wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him firmly on the lips. SNAKE does not kiss back, but neither does he resist. After a moment, the CRAB withdraws, very embarassed. She begins to walk away without looking back. Then SNAKE calls out.
SNAKE: Hey, Crab.
CRAB, turning hesitantly: What?
SNAKE: Keep yourself alive.
The CRAB grins happily.
CRAB: You too.
SNAKE, matter-of-factly: That's what I do.
He gives her a last meaningful glance and turns away, walking into the sunrise. Shot of the CRAB, looking after him, shaking her head in wonder.
Cut to a paved road at dusk. A sign next to it reads, "Now entering Racine, WI." SNAKE rides by it on a sleek motorcycle.
Cut to the seedy side of Racine. SNAKE parks his motorcycle at a loud, run-down bar, dismounts, and begins to walk down the street. The sun is setting. He passes a pawn shop with a TV in the window. Two NEWSCASTERS are bantering back and forth. SNAKE stops to watch.
DIANE: ...investigators are still sifting through the ruins of an American Harrier Jumbo Jet that was destroyed over Iraq by Mideastern fighter planes. At least one occupant has been identified: 28 year old Anne Twelve-Wolves, former President of the Native American Order of Merchants, a metalworks company based in Cleveland. No formal statement has been made yet.
JIM: And on the lighter side, the inhabitants of the tiny country of Lithavonia seem to be suffering from an epidemic of...that's right...the chicken pox!
DIANE, laughing: You don't say, Jim!
JIM: That's right. Government officials have traced it to the freshwater supply. It has affected almost 100% of the population, and is characterized by minor, painless swellings that only last about a day. No explanations have been put forth for this occurrence.
DIANE, shaking her head: Isn't that bizarre...?
Cut to SNAKE, pulling a syringe out of his belt pouch and holding it up to his eye. He grins, just a little bit, and gives it an almost playful squeeze. A single drop is shot out of the syringe, landing on the sidewalk. The camera pans down to give us a look at it. SNAKE'S boots move offscreen as he walks away towards other adventures. Meanwhile, the drop of liquid--sickly green liquid--begins to run down the sidewalk. The NEWSCASTERS continue talking.
DIANE: Meanwhile, the hunt for fugitive Snake Plissken continues. There have been no sightings of this man as of yet. Anyone with information on his whereabouts is urged to call the number on the screen. He is believed to be a serious threat to the safety of this country.
Meanwhile, the drop has drifted into a gutter, and over a sewer grate, where it hangs suspended for a moment, teetering over the brink, ready to fall.
Fade to black.
There is the faint sound of water hitting water.
End credits
All this is thoroughly and utterly copyrighted by MK Ingalls, and he has really good lawyers.
