(Disclaimers; I don't own JAG or any of the songs, but the story idea is mine. I hope you enjoy the story, I'll try and update soon. Feedback is always appreciated. Right now this fic is in the middle of a major makeover. Let's face it, it's just an eye sore. I hope when it's done, it'll be more readable. Hope you enjoy this first revamped chap.)

Fade in...

The day started out as most days did; deadlines, clients, witnesses, and paperwork. But even with all that on his mind, Harmon Rabb still felt uneasy. Looking over at his partner's office, which was presently uninhabited, he couldn't help but get the feeling that something was wrong.

Where was she?

The Admiral, even more worried then he, let him go to her apartment and see if she was okay. The fact that her car was still in her parking space, eased his nerves a bit.

He knocked and waited, but after fifteen minutes, he finally used his extra key to get in. What he found then ripped his heart right out of his chest.

Lying on the table was a note for him, in Mac's handwriting.

Harm-

I just can't deal with this anymore. I've just go to get away. I hope one day you'll forgive me.

Mac

"No," Harm said. But he knew that handwriting better then he knew his own. There was no doubt about it, Mac really did write that note.

He called the Admiral, who had called the police and Webb, but with no sign of forced entry, and after Harm told them of their recent fight, the police concluded that Mac left on her own accord. After they left, promising to have people check the airports, bus and train stations, Harm the Admiral and Webb contemplated their next move.

"What in the hell were you two fighting about Rabb?" Webb asked.

"It's complicated," Harm said weakly.

"I don't care if it's complicated," the Admiral boomed. "Tell me what happened. Was it about what's not going on between you two?"

Harm looked at him in disbelief. "You know?"

Webb let out a stiff laugh, "who doesn't?"

Harm held his hands up in defeat, "yeah it's about that. But Mac wouldn't leave like this. Not over that."

"I know," the Admiral said and sighed. "But right now, that's all we have to go on."

"I'll have some people look into it,' Webb offered. "But I have to get back to the office. Officially, this isn't a CIA matter," he said and left.

(Later at the office)

Harm called Bud and Harriet into his office to break the news.

"What do you mean she's gone?" Bud yelled, jumping up from his seat.

"She's gone, that's all we know. She left a note…and was gone by the time we got there."

"No," Harriet said shaking her head. "I don't believe it. The Colonel wouldn't go…"

"I know Harriet, but right now that's all we've got. We're going to find her. I promise.

Fade out…

As the months went by, there still no word from Mac. A lot had changed between them since Mac broke up with Brumby, and they hadn't exactly defined what their relationship really meant, but had just been dancing around there feelings.

He wasn't really ready then, even though he did say it aloud, but now he knew more then ever what those feeling meant to him how much she had meant to him. Harm knew it was kind of ironic in a way, which he wouldn't know how much she meant to him until she was gone, and now he knew he might not ever get that chance again. Going to work had become a disappointment to him now. Webb would stop by as often as he could, but the news was never good. He had turned up nothing, and had to give it up.

The Admiral, Bud, Harriet, and Harm still wouldn't give up. Even Bobbie Lathem tried to help them. Harm didn't know why it hurt so much. But it did. Harm turned down partner after partner, knowing that no one could replace the hole that Mac had left in him.

The Admiral has been the most understanding through this whole thing. He had given Harm time off and some of the easier cases. But it didn't make the hurt or the confusion go away. Mac was still gone. Webb had been stopping over a lot lately, just to check up on him. Even though Harm had made it clear, that he didn't want to talk about it...About her...Webb still came. Tonight he brought over dinner, for him, knowing he hadn't been eating lately.

"Eat Rabb," he said irritably, shoving the food in his face.

"I'm not hungry," harm said throwing the food on the table.

"Harm, I'm not going to sit hear and watch you starve yourself. You want to kill yourself?"

"Why would that matter?"

"It would matter to your mother, and your brother. The Admiral would care; Bud, and Harriet, hell, even me." Webb said, running a hand though his disheveled hair.

"Not to Mac," Harm muttered.

"What?" Webb asked.

But Harm didn't answer. Webb sighed, and rubbed his stiff neck. "Look, Harm I know you cared about her. We all do, and we're doing what we can to find her, but you have to face it. She's gone, and not coming back."

"You sure do have a way with words don't you Webb?" Harm yelled.

Webb put his hands up in surrender, "take it easy Harm."

"No! I'm not going to take it easy! My best friend just walked out on me! With no explanation, she just walked away. Leaving behind everything, her family, her friends..."

"And you," Webb finished for him.

Harm look at him.

"Don't start Webb," harm said in a scathing voice.

"Oh get off it Rabb! You know as well as I do, that you love her."

"Leave it alone Webb."But Webb continued as if he hadn't heard Harm. "She's gone Rabb! She left you! Just let her go!"

"No," Harm said and grabbed his keys and jacket, and left Webb standing helplessly in his apartment. Harm didn't know where he was going. He just drove around, and soon came to his favorite place.

As Harm stood in front of his Dad's name at the wall, a million thoughts ran through his mind.

"I don't know what to do Dad...don't know what to think. She just left me. Maybe Webb is right, maybe I do love her...hell I know I do. I just don't know how to go on without her."

He sighed, and went back to his car. Driving back to his place; was the longest drive he ever took. Harm turned on the radio, to cloud out his thoughts.

I've sure enjoyed the rain, but I'm looking forward to the sun
You have to feel the pain, when you lose the love you gave someone
I thought by now the time would take away these lonely tears
I hope you're doin' fine all alone, but where do I go from here

cause without you I'm not okay
and without you I've lost my way
my heart's stuck in 2nd place, ooooooo
Without you

Well I never thought I'd be lying here without you by my side
it seems unreal to me, that the life you promised was a lie

You made it look so easy, makin' love into memories
I guess you got what you wanted, but what about me

cause without you I'm not okay
and without you I've lost my way
my heart's stuck in 2nd place, ooooooo
Without you

Somebody tell my head to try to tell me heart, that I'm better off, without you
Cause baby I can't liiiiiiiiiive...

without you I'm not okay
and without you I've lost my way
my heart's stuck in 2nd place, ooooooo
Without you

Without you.

Harm pushed the off button hard, as he pulled in to his parking place. He knew Webb was gone. He didn't bother to turn on the lights, but just laid on the couch with that song running through his head. What would he ever do without her?

"Where are you Sarah?" he whispered to his empty apartment.

TBC