THE KILLER INSTINCT

Loralei stared impatiently over Cody's shoulder as he searched high and low for information on Zara Damon.  Normally, only Donovan stood breathing down his neck, but tonight, he had Donovan's counter part joining in on the fun.  He checked everything, and checked it twice.

Exasperated, Cody said, "There's nothing."

She glanced at Donovan before settling her eyes on the computer screen.  "That's good…isn't it?"

He turned toward them.  "Well, it depends on what you define as good.  When I said there's nothing, I really mean nothing.  No record of a woman named Zara Damon exists.  You would think there would be dental or medical records, or a parking ticket.  There's nothing."

She closed her eyes and sighed deeply.  She had let the fucking killer slide right past her.  Stupid, stupid, she thought.  She looked up at Donovan.  "We have to get to Jake."

Both had turned on their heels to set the wheels in motion, but something stopped them:  Jake.  He gave Donovan and Loralei a bewildered look.  "What's going on?"

"Jake, where's your girlfriend," Donovan asked carefully.

"Zara?  I left her at my place.  Why?"

Loralei didn't wait for anyone.  She ran for the door.  Donovan called out her name and chased after her.  When he didn't catch her in time, he made his way back.  "Get your gear ready.  We have to move now."

Jake still didn't understand.  "Move?  What are you talking about?  Would someone tell me what the hell is going on?"

"No time," Donovan said.  "You have three minutes.  Loralei can't do this alone.  Cody, call Jackson, Alex, and Monica, find out what's taking them so fucking long to get here.  Move, Jake, now."

Donovan caught Loralei as she slid behind the wheel of the rented Jag.  She was intent on speeding away and leaving him behind.  Her failure to react earlier solely rested on her shoulders, and she wanted to take the killer out on her own.  She had tried to lock the car door, but his reflexes were quicker.  He opened the door and slid easily into the car.

"What do you think you're doing," he demanded.

"This is my fuck up, Frank, it's up to me to fix it."

"Are you insane, Loralei?  Never go into a situation without backup.  What did I tell you before?  I don't want to see you in a body bag."

She gunned the engine to life.  "We have no time to argue, Frank."

*  *  *

Donovan and Loralei approached Jake's front door with weapons in hand.  "Zara," Loralei called out, "we need to talk to you."  There was nothing.  No movement.  No sound.  "Zara, this is your last warning."  Nothing.

He glanced over at her.  "Politeness gets you nothing in this world.  Do you mind?"  He nodded toward the door. 

Understanding what he wanted to do, she fixed an exasperated gaze on his face.  With a sigh, she stepped aside, muttering something about sexism and big balls.  She watched as Donovan administered several swift kicks to the door.  When it finally gave, she dove inside, with him on her heels.

Jake and Alex arrived not long after Donovan broke into his apartment.  Incredulously, he gazed at what remained of the door.  He didn't understand, and was sure he really didn't want to.  He stepped inside the living room and saw Loralei wondering around with her hand on the back of her neck.  She appeared more agitated than upset.  Donovan canvassed the small area, searching for any clues that Zara might have left behind.

"Would someone tell me what the fuck is going on," Jake demanded. 

Loralei exchanged another look with Donovan.  How did one go about breaking another's heart?  It wouldn't be a simple feat.  However, there was still little time to explain this complicated mess.  Zara was on the run now, and if they didn't act soon, she would simply disappear again.  "Go on," she told Donovan and Alex.  "I need to tell him.  You have to find her.  Call me, and we'll catch up."

Without a sound, Donovan nodded and took Alex by the arm and led her through the shattered door.

Once they were out of earshot, he fixed his confused eyes on her face.  "Zara," he spat, finally understanding and feeling like a fool.

She didn't say anything at first.  You're such a coward.  "I think so, Jake.  I'm sorry.  I wish I had known sooner to spare you some pain.  After we met with you and she, I asked Cody to do some digging, and Zara Damon doesn't exist.  There's no record of her anywhere.  She changed her appearance and fixed her teeth, as I suspected, and she went after you."

He impatiently ran his hand through his thick dark brown hair.  "It makes no sense, Loralei.  I thought you said this killer only went after rich guys."  He swept his arm in a wide arc.  "Does this look like the home of a millionaire?"

She swallowed a huge lump that had formed in her throat.  Her first 'big' case had blown up right in her face, and she had done nothing to prevent it.  "I suppose I was wrong about her, about a lot of things.  I don't know why she went after you, unless she somehow found out what you do."

He couldn't deal with the betrayal, the hurt, or the lies.  He waved it off.  "We need to help Donovan and Alex."

Donovan's phone rang.  Irritated, he snapped it open.  "Where are you," he asked Loralei as soon as he recognized the number.

"On the freeway breaking every speeding law known to man.  Give me an update," she said.

He sighed heavily.  "I have Cody checking out every airport, train and bus station within two hundred miles.  No one fitting her description has shown up yet.  She's still in the city, but I'm not sure where."

Frustrated, she cried out, nearly bursting Donovan's eardrum.  "Goddamn," she swore.  "Regroup in thirty minutes.  Get Jackson's ass on the phone.  No one sleeps tonight."

"Loralei?  How's Jake?"

She took her eyes off the road long enough to glance at his profile.  His face was blank, but his lips were pressed tightly together.  "Not good."

*  *  *

While Cody and Monica stayed behind to monitor mass transit, the rest of the crew began to canvass the area, spreading out to check every bar from one end of the city to the other.  There were several women they mistakenly thought were Zara, but she hadn't turned up.  How could one woman hide so well?  Toward dawn, the bars began to close down, and they were running out of options.  Cody updated Donovan every half hour, but Zara had simply disappeared.  Loralei returned to the office and immediately relieved both Cody and Monica.  Both of them were literally falling asleep in their coffee.  They hesitated at first, but she told them she would handle Donovan, and make sure he didn't yell at them for leaving sentry duty.  Besides, it was her mess, and she was determined to clean it up.

Loralei was the techno geek, and she learned Cody's setup fairly quickly.  Her eyes burned into the computer monitors, as if she were willing Zara to show up somewhere.  Why didn't she jump on her while she had the chance?  Why was she so dense?  If Zara killed tonight, it would be on her head.  She was also worried about Jake.  He was so angry and betrayed.  It made her think of Donovan and how she had hurt him.  She wondered if Donovan and Jake realized how alike they were. 

"Where are you, you bitch," she whispered as she tapped the keyboard.

Donovan came into the room.  He had sent Alex and Jake on.  Both of them, especially Jake, needed a break.  Jackson had passed out in the car on the way back, and Donovan had left him there.  He fixed his eyes on Loralei sitting before Cody's expansive console.  Her head was in her hands and she was grumbling under her breath.  He couldn't make out any of her words, but he was certain she was brow beating her ego, blaming herself for what had happened.  He wasn't sure any words he said would comfort her, and equally unsure if she wanted to be comforted at all.  It was obvious she was exhausted, but she wouldn't quit.  Slowly, he approached her and placed his hands on her shoulders.  She had sensed his presence, of course, but she didn't speak.  She had failed him, failed them all.  How in the hell could she redeem herself now?

His hands began to knead her tensed up shoulders.  Her muscles were tight and knotted.  "Take a break, Loralei.  I can do this.  You're exhausted."

She uncovered her face for a moment.  "I can't," she whispered.  "I have to do this.  I should have known, Frank, I should have reacted when I saw her, but I didn't.  For Christ's sake, I've been obsessed with this case for months, and she was sitting right in front of me, right in front of my fucking face.  This is my battle, and I'm going to bring her down if it's the last thing I do."

"Loralei," he said, "you can't do this yourself.  If you don't stop, you'll drive yourself mad."

"It's too late for that, Frank."  She sighed heavily and buried her face in her hands again.  "Jake could have died tonight, and I would have been responsible for that.  His face would have gone up in the victim portfolio, and I would have had to look at it every day knowing that I failed."  She didn't want to cry, didn't want to act like a girl, but she couldn't help it.  Her tears overtook her, controlling her.  She was so exhausted, but she wouldn't rest, not until she had squashed the life out of the vicious black widow.

Donovan turned the chair around so that she was facing him.  He kneeled before her and took hold of her wrists.  At first, she struggled against him.  She didn't want to look at him, didn't want him to see her shame and self-loathing.  Before long, his persistence paid off.  He held her hands in his as she continued to shed her silent tears.  She hadn't yet looked at him.

"Listen to me, Loralei," he commanded.  "Look at me."  She did so grudgingly.  "What you're forgetting is that Jake isn't dead.  His heart is hurt, but he'll heal.  You're speaking of events that 'could have been.'  You can't look at it that way.  If you want to make it in this field, you're going to have to back off and share the responsibility.  You can't do everything.  Do you understand?  I've tried it your way, and I fell on my ass more times than I care to admit.  You're following the same path; I can see it all over you.  It has to stop."

She shook her head.  "Suddenly, breaking apart porno rings seems very normal right now."

He smoothed her hair away from her face.  "Get some rest, Loralei."

"I can't," she said as she drew away from him.  She stood and went straight for the coffee.  She wasn't sure how long it had sat there, but she didn't care.  She poured herself a steaming mug and took a sip of it.  She grimaced.  It was strong and bitter.  She could feel Donovan's eyes boring into her.

"Very well," he said gently.  Without hesitation, he approached the coffee maker and poured a cup for himself.  "I can't, either."

"Why are you so damn stubborn," she asked, slightly irritated.

He drank deeply from the cup and stifled his own grimace.  "Why are you?"

"Answer a question with a question.  I'll be fine here for a while, Frank.  I think you should get some sleep."

He took another sip of the bitter coffee as he studied her curiously.  He wasn't born yesterday; he knew what she was planning.  Calmly, he set down the coffee mug before taking hold of her forearms.  Gazing down into her eyes, he said, "Loralei, I know what you're thinking.  Don't try it, don't do this alone.  You will die trying to redeem yourself."  It was on the tip of his tongue to utter the words he had held back from her.  He hesitated again.  How could he make her understand?  What would he have to do?  He couldn't imagine what he'd do if he lost her.  He didn't even want to think about it. 

She leaned up a little and placed a soft kiss on his lips.  "I have trouble asking for help, especially when I know I've screwed up, and I have."  He started to protest, but she kissed him again to cut off his words.  "No," she whispered against his lips.  "Don't argue with me.  You'll never win this battle.  I know what I've done, and nothing you say will help.  I like this sweet side of you, Frank, and I never understood why you don't share it outside our relationship."

He took her into his embrace and kissed her forehead.  "There you go.  You're evading the issue at hand and trying to distract me.  It's not working," he said gently.

"Help me with that," she whispered harshly.  "Help me, Frank.  I don't know what to do or where to go.  I don't know how I've gotten myself so mixed up."  She kissed him again, running her tongue along his lips.  "Help me."

*  *  *

Since Jake had ridden with Loralei, he didn't have a ride back to his apartment.  Alex felt so badly for him, that she didn't hesitate to volunteer to drive him back.  Of course, he was only going back to gather a few things and overnight it at a hotel.  Donovan had destroyed his front door, and it wouldn't be repaired until tomorrow morning.  She stood back and watched as he moved through his apartment as if he were a victim of some great disaster.  She supposed he was.

"Damn, I didn't know he could kick so hard," Alex said as she examined the door. 

She had meant for the comment to lighten the moment, but it didn't work.  Jake just shrugged his shoulders and continued to walk around in a daze.  He wanted to throttle Zara, and then himself for allowing her to get inside his mind so quickly.  He moved off into the bedroom and stared down at the bed.  How many times had they made love here?  Had she been planning his death the whole time?  Angered now, he was tempted to take out his gun and fill the bed with bullets.  It was stupid, of course, but his rationality had flown the coop hours ago.

Alex stepped up to the doorway of his bedroom.  She noticed that Jake had seated himself on the foot of the bed.  He was staring straight down at the floor.  "Are you all right," she asked.

He looked up and saw concern in her lovely, ice blue eyes.  "Yeah, I'm okay.  I just need a cure for stupidity.  Do you have it?"

She shook her head and slowly approached him.  She sat beside him and placed her hand on his shoulder.  "When men are in lust, they lose their minds.  It's perfectly natural."

He smiled a little.  She had the ability to make him laugh when he felt like tearing apart the room.  "I've never laid a violent hand on a woman, but if I saw her right now, I'm not sure I could hold it together."

"Bring her to me.  Monica and I will kick her ass for you."