Kmoney: Can I say something before we start? I can, wow thanks! This chapter is completely and utterly weird. Minus the ending which I find to actually be pretty funny. I mean the very end.

Advice: And todays' advice is: If life was like a box of chocolate then I would actually like it!

Kmoney: Right.....*pulls out a baseball bat* Let me give you some advice, advice...

Advice: Why, Kmoney, I would love it!

Kmoney: GOOD! *starts beating advice* Take this! Telling me life isn't a box of chocolate!





Chapter 5:

Elevator...C'mon!

Squall stared at the ceiling of Xu's room trying very hard to think of a way out of this whole situation. He couldn't tell her the truth. What would that lead to? More trouble! He couldn't tell her he was playing a joke on her. That would be just cruel and out of character for him. But then so is showing up at a girl's room and telling them your in love with them.

Xu giggled and reached for Squall's jacket. He knocked her hand away and she gasped.

"Why'd you do that?"

"Don't touch my jacket."

"Well, why not?"

"Because...I said so."

Xu smiled a very seductive smile and reached for his jacket again. "Ahh...c'mon Squall, I won't mess it up..."

Squall frowned. "No."

"Ya know for someone that's suppose to be in love with me you sure don't act like it." Xu replied, huffing and turning away.

Squall sat up and dusted his jacket off. "I'm tired." He lied. "And really busy." he added. He stood up and walked to the door.

"Hey, you didn't answer my question about Rinoa?"

Squall opened the door and actually smirked slightly. Though she couldn't see it. "Who's Rinoa?" he walked out and closed the door behind him. He handled that situation quite nicely. He not only avoided coming up with a sorry lie about Rinoa, but he actually got out of the room before she did something to him.

But then he heard the door open and footsteps charging down the hall. He frowned and turned around. There was Xu running after him with a baseball bat.

"You cheatin' son of a bitch! You were planning on seeing me and Rinoa! I'll get you for that!"

Squall groaned...his situation went from bad to worse. He'd be lucky if other people didn't hear that and come out of their rooms.



"What's up with all the commotion?" Rinoa wondered. She turned slightly away from Squall's door, looking over her shoulder straining to listen to what it was about.

Essence rolled her eyes. "Knock on the door already. Stop worrying about other people."

"Fine...fine." Rinoa grumbled and knocked lightly.

There was no answer.

"He might be sleep."

"Why would he be sleep?"

"Because its three in the morning, you idiot."

"Maybe you just knocked too lightly. Knock harder. Oh, and I'm not an idiot."

"Whatever..." Rinoa turned away and knocked on the door much harder. Still no answer. "He's a heavy sleeper, ya know."

"I'll just poke my head in here and see that for myself." Essence stepped through the door and came right back out in a matter of seconds.

"He's sleep, right?"

"Oh, he might be sleep, but not in his bed." Essence replied and grinned when she saw Rinoa's blank expression. "We have to find your future husband. He's prowling around."

Rinoa only continued to stare. "He's probably in the training center. I'll see him in the morning."

"NO!" Essence snapped and ran at Rinoa.

Rinoa not expecting such an action could only stare and then her eyes closed. When she reopened them, she was standing in front of her body.

"What the...?" Rinoa cried. "NO! You did it again!"

Essence in Rinoa's body grinned. "HA ha ha! I guess there's not room for the both of us in here."

"There is if you weren't in spiritual form! Now get out of my body!" Rinoa demanded.

"No way. You'll play tag along if you know what's good for your body while I find that man of yours. Then seduce him and do things you're too chicken to do to him." Essence laughed and then ran.

"He-hey!" Rinoa shouted running after her body. "I want my body back!"



Quistis rose out of her bed...wait Quistis was never in her bed. So I guess we could skip the morning rise and shine thing. First off the sun wasn't up and Quistis wasn't rising and shining from anything.

She happily and hyperly took a shower while singing.

"Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,

So tell me what you want, what you really really want,

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want....!"

She stepped out of the shower a short time later and got dress.

"Today, today-"

KNOCK KNOCK!

"Comin'!" Quistis chirped and opened the door. There stood Seifer wearing his usual trench coat.

"Are you ready!?" He demanded.

"Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes." Quistis bounced up and down, nodding her head like a child.

Seifer quirked his eyebrow. He hadn't been around the garden for a few days and this was all new to him. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes!"

Seifer gave her a unsure look. "Are you sure?"

"Oh, yes, yes-"

Seifer held his hand to her lips. "Calm down....its bad enough messenger girl and chicken-wuss are hyper. We don't need you like that too."

Quistis moved his hand and ran out of her room dragging him along. "We need to go! We have a mission! It starts now! Where's Zell?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Seifer demanded.

Quistis turned around. What she said was random and WAY off the subject. "Hey, Seify, have you seen my diary? I know you stole it!"

Seifer was taken back. One was because she called him Seify and the other was she just blamed him for stealing her diary.

"First off, instructor, I haven't been here long enough to steal anything from you. Second: Don't call me Seify. Its weird and just plain wrong. Third: What the hell are you smoking and can I have some?" When he was done he glared at the shorter blonde.

She in turned smiled at him and pulled him along. "We need coffee, then we may go."

"What about the chicken-wuss?"

Quistis glared at Seifer.

"I said COFFEE! I don't call about a chicken named WUSS! We will get coffee!"

Seifer could only nod. This conversation was going no where. And since the conversation was going no where, he was going to end it. Quistis apparently didn't give a damn about the conversation at all because she was already down the hall and almost out of dorms.

Seifer was getting ready to follow when certain things caught his eye. One was Rinoa walking down the hall wearing blue PJs with little angels on them. She seemed be talking to herself while doing so.

"Hello, there, Ms. Heartilly!" Seifer called.

Rinoa turned...or well Essence turned Rinoa's head. Rinoa herself just looked in that direction even though she couldn't be seen.

"Oh, hey, its Seifer." Essence squeaked.

"He can hear you...don't sound so happy." Rinoa muttered.

Essence glared at Rinoa before looking back at Seifer and waving. "Seifer! Get yo sexy ass over here!"

Seifer's eyes widen and instead of going closer he walked back.

"What's his problem?" Essence wondered.

"You called him sexy." Rinoa explained. "I would never do that."

"That's because your stupid."

"Shut-up!" Rinoa screamed. "I wish I could kill you! I hate you!"

Essence rolled her eyes and ignored Rinoa. She instead ran to catch Seifer, who panicked and ran.

And as if this was one big coincidence, Squall was dashing down the same hall Rinoa was standing in...wait on second thought its not because Rinoa's standing in the hall where Squall's dorm is located. So anyways, he was dashing down the hall and spotted her waving at someone and then he found out who.

"Seifer! Get yo sexy ass over here!" Rinoa called.

Squall skid to a stop and blinked. "Did she just say...?"

Before he could process that anymore, Xu tackled him from behind and they went skidding across the floor until they ended up behind Rinoa, who ran after Seifer.

Squall distractedly pushed Xu off of him as he watched Rinoa run off. "Rinoa! Hey!" he stood up and chased after her. "Rinoa!"

"Squall!" Xu shouted, very much pissed off, looking for her baseball bat that she had lost when the went skidding. "Get back here Squall! We need to talk!"

Seifer ignored Rinoa, Rinoa ignored Squall, Squall ignored Xu, and Xu found her baseball bat.

Imagine being Nida Campbell. When he first got to the garden he wasn't very popular, but as time went on his social status rose. And when he became one of the four SeeDs to pass the exam it got even higher. Then when he learned how to fly the garden, girls were all over him. But still Nida wasn't as popular as Squall Leonhart. Squall got to be the commander. Squall got the girl. Squall had the super cool weapon. Squall...Squall was running down the hall chasing his girlfriend while she was chasing Seifer Almasy. Who he assumed must have been following Instructor Trepe, who he had seen running and screaming 'coffee' at the top of her lungs.

Adding on to this nonsense, Xu was running after Squall with a baseball bat.

Nida blinked and shook his head. "I won't ask...I just won't ask." He continued to his dorm when he saw something even more. Irvine was sneaking down the hall wearing only boxers with his trench coat thrown over them and his hat on his head.

Not being rude, because Nida always practice courtesy, he saluted the cowboy, who stopped and saluted him.

"Hey, how you doin'?" Irvine asked.

"Ugh...fine." Nida replied. "If don't mind me asking, but where are the rest of your cloths?"

"Back in my dorm. I had little time to get dress. I must start my evil plan to get rid of Squall."

Nida's eyes widen and before he knew he sputtered out the words "Can I help?" To which Irvine replied 'yea' and before he could comprehend what the hell was going on, the two were shaking hands.

"My first order as the commander of this mission is for you to get Selphie out of her room and take her to the third floor."

Nida saluted and was about to run off, but stopped himself. "Hey, what for?"

"I don't know. I just want her. Now go!" Irvine shooed him off and Nida left.

Nida stopped in front of Selphie's room and knocked. There was a grunt of annoyance and then silence. He knocked again and he got a huff, then silence. He knocked once more and then he heard the following...

"GEESH, HOLD ON! I'M TRYING TO KILL MYSELF, IF YOU DON'T MIND! STOP BEING SO DAMN SELFISH!"

Nida kicked the door open just in time to stop Selphie from casting 'suffocate' on herself.

"Hey, what's the big idea? Do you know how long I've been at it!? I just created that magic technique and now I'll have to remember everything I did. I hate you, Nick!"

"Nida!"

"Whatever!" Selphie sighed. "Anyways, what do you want?"

"Irvine sent me to get you. He wants to meet you on the third floor."

"Fine...let's go. Since I can't kill myself now!"

Nida smiled and lead her down the hallway.

Seifer caught Quistis and dragged her to elevator. He pressed the button and let's say just for random sake Zell and Keri were inside when it opened.

"What the hell are you two doing here?" Seifer demanded.

"I was going to see Headmaster about the mission." Zell explained.

"I was joining him." Keri explained. "What's your story?"

"Same here!" Seifer replied angrily and pulled Quistis inside. "What the hell is wrong with her?"

Quistis was muttering coffee over and over.

"She has a problem. That's all I know." Zell explained.

For some reason the doors never closed and just when they were about to, Rinoa dove into them all action movie style and rolled to her feet. No one knows how she managed to get so much room to perform such a stunt but she did.

Just as the doors began to close again, Squall burst through them and ran to the back of the elevator. Xu came in a second later looking for Squall, but couldn't see pass Seifer. And just when we thought it couldn't get weirder, Nida was rushing down the halls with Selphie and a half-naked Irvine. They jumped inside as well and Seifer groaned.

He cleared his throat and asked like a bellboy. "Which floor would you all like to get off on?"

"THREE!" everyone exclaimed. Seifer frowned and press the button. He had a bad feeling about this. Hell, he had a bad feeling every since he ran into a hyper Quistis. It only got worst when he spotted Rinoa in the hallway. Now here he was standing in a small elevator that somehow managed to fit nine people.

This thought caused his eyes to wonder and he spotted a sign that made him wish he was dead, or in this case he would be dead very soon.

It read the following...

'This elevator only holds a maximum of four people...or four hundred pounds. Yes Seifer, you are going to die...MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!'

Seifer was becoming afraid...very afraid...