Due to Minka's demand its been only about half an hour since I wrote the first chapter and because she is the only other person I know up at this time I am a slave to her will.

I am thinking that I might kill Aragorn and bring him back like Kenny from Southpark but I don't know cause my visions getting blurry and I can't see the ke djf pdsjf sdhfsd hfisnmcx is sdf jasd?..

`Wait,' everyone looked to see a girl that can only be described as Minka. `I want to give him a manicure before you finish him off.'

She pulled out a pair of pliers and clamped them on his thumbnail and promptly ripped it out.

`This is for Legolas,' She moved to the next `and this is for me. And this is for everyone who had to look at your face on the movie screen.'

When they were all pulled out she sat down and began to paint them a disgustingly bright pink.

Gandalf looked mortified, Gimli looked eager (he liked collecting pieces of Aragorn) and Legolas just stood there with a stupid grin on his face as he stared at Minka and adjusted his wig.

All the while Minka sang ` We all know frogs go, la di da di da,' and beckoned for Legolas to come closer.

After painting the nail she patted Gimli's flat head, handed him the nails saying `Here you go little boy,' and she and Legolas ran into the bushes for some private time (It's best not to follow them).

Aragorn cried in pain as Gimli counted the kings nail.

`Here my boy,' said Gandalf `Drink this,' and began to pour gasoline down his throat " and hold this,' he said, lighting a match.

As Aragorn went up in flames the wizard and Dwarf resumed their card game and soaked in the warmth of red, hot king.