Chapter Nine (A Matter of Time)
Sam's luminous computer screen flickered once, twice, then the flicker became a flutter and before she'd had time to save, the screen went. And so did all the lights in the cabin. '' Jack!''
He stopped whatever loud thing he was doing in the kitchen behind her. '' I got it!''
Despite her frustration (dammit, that was an important document), she couldn't help but grin cheerfully to herself. The fire was still going to her left, spitting and crackling and emitting a lovely, warm, some how Christmassy glow. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a real fire at Christmas. Last Christmas, she and Daniel had flown to Egypt because she'd made the mistake of saying considering how steeped in Egyptian mythology they were it was a pity she'd never really spent any time seeing the real thing. Not that she hadn't enjoyed herself - it was just that it hadn't really been Christmas. The previous Christmas she'd spent with her dad, Mark and his family. That had been a real family Christmas. But this time... this time she was spending it with probably the one person she really wanted to spend all her Christmases with.
The lights flickered on as Jack dealt with the generator and came back into the cabin, smirking to himself. '' See? Not the only genius, are we?''
She would have said something about the generator being older than she was, but she didn't want to hurt his feelings. Inside, she went back to her laptop to see if it had auto-saved recently before the power had gone out.
Jack climbed back onto the sofa, sprawling out on his front, the new astronomy book she had got him for Christmas in his hands. He rested his chin on his linked fingers and continued reading. In the beginning, when he'd first started reading it, she'd been concerned he was just doing it for show but since he appeared to be genuinely interested, and was probably about a hundred pages in already, she'd long since given up worrying that it hadn't been a good present. She'd also done him a stocking, which had thrilled him no end. Though it had mostly been filled with chocolate, candy and wind up toys, he'd taken great delight in sending chattering teeth across the kitchen floorboards or showing her the tricks he could do with the yo-yo.
Janet was right. Men were children. Young ones.
Sam sat back in the sofa, pulled the laptop carefully onto her lap and smiled when she saw she hadn't lost as much as she'd feared.
'' So, you've really never been here before?''
She shook her head.
He leaned his cheek on his head and blinked at her. '' I've had SG-1 up here a couple of times. I would have thought....''
'' He's had Teal'c up here. Fishing. He's... invited me. Alone.'' She lifted her eyes from the screen and saw that he had his eyebrows raised.
'' That's practically like asking you out,'' he pointed out. '' What did you say? No, I suppose.''
'' I had to. He's my CO!''
'' Is that the only reason you said no?''
'' What do you mean?''
'' If he wasn't your CO, Sam, would you have said no?''
Sam opened her mouth to say, no, of course not. She'd have said yes, wasn't it obvious? Then she thought about it. Really thought about it.
'' Because, when I first met Sam, my Sam, she was kinda freaked about the whole dating thing. I mean, we were going to meet professionally only a few weeks later, but I coaxed her out with me a few times before. When things got serious, and with me and her it got serious really quickly, she started pulling away. She'd had some bad experiences with Air Force men before.''
And Sam tried very, very hard not to think of Jonas Hanson at this point. Because Jack O'Neill was nothing like Jonas Hanson. Nothing at all.
Sure, they were Air Force. Special ops trained. There had certainly been some classifieds in Jonas's past too. Some open, bleeding emotional wounds.
Eventually, realising that he was expecting an answer, Sam lowered her eyes to her screen and 'um'd. '' Well, if he persevered, like you did, I'm sure I would have said yes.''
'' How many times has he asked you to the cabin?''
'' Five times,'' she answered immediately.
'' And each time you said no. Did you have a good excuse for any of them?''
'' Work.''
'' I said a good excuse. Presumably, with you all in SG-1 together, you'd have the same downtime. What could you have possibly be doing during your downtime that could have been so important?''
Fixing a motorcycle up, playing Solitaire, helping Daniel search for his favourite coffee mug.... '' Look, Jack, don't have a go at me about this. Believe me, I've done it enough myself. Me and Colonel O'Neill... alone... it's just not a good idea.''
'' You don't trust him?''
'' I don't trust either of us.''
'' Sam, he wouldn't do anything unless you wanted to.''
Sam smiled faintly, knowing he was telling the truth. The Colonel was a master of self-control when it came down to her... them. But, if she was honest, it wasn't him she was worried about. '' If I went with him to the cabin, I would want him to do something. I would want to do something.''
'' You couldn't spend time together without taking a step further in your relationship? You couldn't stay friends?''
'' Would you have wanted to be just friends with your Sam?''
'' If that was all I could have.''
'' The Colonel and I are friends.''
'' Sam, I'm not sure you are. Friends don't call each other by their titles.''
'' We do, okay? Jack, it's not as simple as it was for you. Hammond knows something's up, so does Janet and Teal'c and the grapevine is keeping Daniel informed so the whole time we're on base it feels like we're being watched. We can't do anything without it being misconstrued. And it's gotten to the stage when I leave the base and it still feels like we're being watched. Working in the SGC, on SG-1, means so much to me, Jack, and I know he feels the same way. We can't compromise what we have.''
'' Okay, okay,'' he said quickly, defensively. '' I'm sorry for rubbing salt in the wound.''
Wound? Big, gaping hole, more like. God, she missed him. All of a sudden, all that warm contentment had disappeared and she felt like her heart was bleeding. What would he be doing now? They hadn't made any Christmas plans yet, as a team. Teal'c usually went home to see his son, but she never knew what the Colonel did. Christmas had to be a pretty miserable time for him, reflecting on what he had lost. His son and wife.
Unless... '' God, do you think....''
He opened the eyes that had closed. '' What?''
Sam shook her head, looked down at the blinking cursor. '' Jack, do you think your Sam and Colonel O'Neill are...''
For a moment, he was utterly still. '' He'd better fucking not be.''
Despite herself, she smiled at the assumption he'd jumped to. '' I mean, making friends. Not anything else, Jack. He wouldn't do that. She wouldn't do that.''
'' No, of course not. Damn, but that was horrible feeling.'' He rolled onto his back, taking the book with him and laying it open on his stomach. '' I hope Matt has a good Christmas.''
'' I wonder if they've been allowed off-base. She does look rather different than me.''
'' Deep space radar telemetry hairdressers?'' he suggested.
'' I suppose I could pass Matt off as a cousin, or a nephew. I imagine, if he knows, the Colonel would probably want to spend time with him.''
'' I know I would. It'll be painful for him when... if Matt leaves.''
'' When,'' Sam corrected firmly, saving her document and shutting down the laptop. She didn't really feel like working anymore. Putting it down on the coffee table, she curled up along the length of the sofa, pulling down the quilt that was draped over the back. Sleepily, she cuddled one of the sofa cushions against her head and watched him as he stared up at the ceiling. In her peripheral vision, she could make out the blurry shape of the silver charm bracelet he had given her. Smiling faintly, she moved her wrist so the five charms he'd chosen for her jangled. '' I had a nice Christmas, Jack.''
He smiled. '' Yeah, me too. I didn't think I would.''
'' Charming.''
'' No, I mean... I planned to go up to the cabin at Christmas months ago. I thought it was going to be another miserable week in which I drank too much and slept too much. But it hasn't. It's been... nice.''
'' I'm glad I got to come. I love your cabin.''
'' So do I.''
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Colonel Kiss-Ass (damn, she'd better stop doing that - one day it'll actually leave her mouth) was the first person she saw as she walked out of the elevator. And she was three hours early. Made her wonder if he'd even left at all, though she knew there were some personnel who were unlucky enough to be pulled in for Christmas duty.
'' Colonel,'' she greeted, nodding at him.
'' Major. Ah, Major?''
She stopped walking and turned smartly. '' Yes, sir?''
He paused, seemed at a loss. '' Did you have a nice Christmas, Major?''
Was he... was this... huh? Was he talking to her? As in conversation? '' Yes, sir. You?''
'' Ah, in a sense, Major, in a sense.''
She wondered if he was married, had a family. Somehow, she found that difficult to picture. Nervously, she stood there, wondering if she was supposed to make conversation back or if he had a point to make.
'' Major... um...''
Um? Colonel Kiss-Ass was 'um'ing now? What the hell was going on? '' Sir, are you all right?''
He winced. '' Yes, Major. Never mind. Carry on.''
'' Okay, sir.'' Giving him a very odd look, Sam turned around walked off a little quicker than she usually would have done.
When Jack dropped by shortly before her lunch break, like he always did, she regaled her brief but memorable conversation with the bizarre colonel to him to see what he thought. Jack's fingers were carefully kneading a ball of blue tack by the end. He was frowning. '' Sounded suspiciously like... nah.''
'' What? What?''
'' I'm sure it's not that. Probably....''
'' Jack!''
'' Are you getting any... vibes from him, Major?''
'' Vibes? What kind of vibes?'' What was he talking about? Why were all men completely incapable of holding a sensible conversation today? Graham Simmons had spilt coffee down his front when she'd greeted him that morning and had stammered through their brief communication until she'd had enough and talked to Siler instead. He at least could talk with some seriousness. And before that there had been the nonsense with Colonel Ki... Forsythe.
Jack seemed to be having an internal conversation, staring at her with amused dark eyes and kneading that damn ball of blue tack. '' No, I didn't think so.''
'' Didn't think about what? Jack!''
'' Lunch?''
This was beyond frustrating. She wrenched the blue tack from his fingers and shook a finger at him. '' I'm not kidding, Colonel. What are you thinking?''
He grinned. '' I'm thinking he has a crush on you.''
'' A crush.....'' There weren't words to describe how she felt at that simple statement. Colonel Forsythe's face, tensed and controlled, flashed before hers, followed swiftly by Colonel O'Neill's, also tensed and controlled. '' Gah!'' she managed in the end.
He laughed. He actually laughed. And she had no misconceptions about this - he was laughing at her and not with her. '' Man, that was great. Where's a camera when you need one?'' He bent over at the waist, laughing hard. '' You and Sam... you never notice. Seriously, Feretti's besotted with you. Even told me he was, though it was obvious to everyone...''
'' He's married!''
'' Yes, and I'm sure he'll grow out of this besotted phase and everything, but it's just so damn funny.''
'' It's not... you bastard. How am I going to look him in the eye, now?''
'' Sam, come on, Colonel Kiss-Ass has his eye on the sort-of-wife of his rival? It's just classic. Really, really.... perfect.''
Sam gritted her teeth and seriously considered kicking him in the shin. Hard. '' Jack, if you don't stop laughing, I'm gonna hide your Playstation.''
Abruptly, the laughing stopped. He cleared his throat. '' So... lunch?''
'' Good idea.''
In a gentlemanly fashion, he let her go first, sweeping an arm ahead of him. But she knew the truth. As she walked in front of him, he was grinning his ass off behind her. She was damn well gonna hide his Playstation anyway, she decided vengefully.
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Though Sam may not have entirely believed that the Colonel had a 'crush' on her - men like that simply didn't have 'crushes' - Jack really took it to heart. His feelings towards Forsythe took a swing towards the positive. He greeted him ebulliently in the corridors, grinned at him from a distance, occasionally waved, and generally acted as if he knew something Forsythe didn't.
It was incredibly embarrassing.
It took Sam about a week to work out why she was so pissed off with him. It was the fact that he took this as a laughing matter. He didn't see Forsythe as any kind of a threat.
Which she knew was true. Not only because, though she did find Forsythe attractive, she had no interest in dating anyone at home, let alone in another reality, but because Jack had no reason to be threatened by anyone interested in her. She wasn't his wife. He wasn't her husband.
Still, it would have been nice if Jack didn't think it was the biggest joke on and off planet.
And if he hadn't told Daniel and Boyd.
'' Seriously?'' Daniel looked across the commissary at Forsythe, eating by himself. Daniel grinned, looking from Sam to Jack. '' I mean, seriously?''
'' Doesn't seem like the type,'' Boyd said, not entirely sure what to make of it all.
Sam, who was vacillating between blushing with anger and embarrassment, finally snapped. Picking up her tray, she scowled at the rest of SG-1 and walked away. Towards Forsythe. It was a cheap move, one she wasn't especially proud of even as she came to stand over his table.
He looked up, his eyes leaving the open report on the table. '' Major.''
'' Can I sit with you?''
Forsythe's eyes moved from her face to the gobsmacked members of SG-1. '' Are you sure about that?''
'' If you were sitting with them, you'd understand.'' No longer waiting for an invitation, she put her tray down and sat. She smiled at him genially and decided she would like him. After all, he could well be innocent of all the things Colonel O'Neill was applying to him. '' So, how are you enjoying life at the SGC.... sorry, SGF?''
Suspiciously, he watched her eat, looking like he expected her to poison his drink or something. Sam couldn't help but notice how the green of his uniform perfectly complimented the green of his eyes. '' It's interesting work. But you're new to the SGF too, aren't you, Major? Surely I can ask the same of you?''
She shrugged. '' It's pretty similar to home. I've never really asked a proper newcomer, but what was your reaction when they told you about what work you'd be doing here?''
He smiled very, very slightly. Still mistrustful. '' I thought they were pulling my leg.''
Sam grinned. '' Really? Did you tell them that?''
'' Politely.''
This time she giggled. '' How did you find your first trip through the 'gate?''
'' I'd been warned not to eat before hand so I didn't embarrass myself on the other side, but it was still... cold as hell. Still is. I'm told you get used to it.''
'' I wouldn't say you ever got used to it. More... you expect it. There are bad trips, of course, when you all come out thinking 'where's the nearest bathroom?' but they're infrequent.''
'' I'll look forward to that then.'' And, in the way of all men who want to know if they're being toyed with, he changed the conversation to what he wanted, '' Major, what are you doing here?''
She knew it was coming, knew his natural curiosity would refuse to let him relax until he knew her motives. '' SG-1 were, collectively, pissing me off. So I left. And since I knew sitting with you would piss them off...'' she trailed off deliberately, judging his expression. She decided he wasn't angry, but he wasn't exactly thrilled either.
'' So you're using me.''
'' Not maliciously. I do genuinely want to know you better. You're commanding my old team. Even if they were my team for about six uneventful missions.''
'' They're a good team.''
'' Yeah, they are. How's Hennersey doing?''
'' You noticed she's awful quiet?''
Sam nodded, pleased that he'd picked up on it.
'' I think her real personality's creeping out. The other day I caught her swearing blue murder at some monkey that had stolen her boot. She clammed up real quick when she saw me and 'yes sir'd and 'no sir'd me to death, but I saw the real her for a moment.''
'' She's just waiting to see what kind of a person you are, that's all.''
He shrugged. '' I figured. She's a good soldier. Conscientious. I like her. I like them all.''
'' You sound surprised.''
'' I wasn't sure about the set-up of these teams. The SGF was initially a scientists wonderland, so I suppose that's why most of the teams have a non-military man or woman on them but it still... fazed me in the beginning.''
Sam nodded understandingly, remembering Colonel O'Neill's scientist rant from early on in her career at the SGC. '' You'll get used to it.''
'' I already am.'' He smiled at her, this time it was more genuine than the ones before. '' On our last mission, I found myself actually listening to what Hadley was saying and it was making sense. It was horrible.'' He mocked shuddered.
She giggled again, surprised at how amusing he could be. Usually the only person who could make her laugh that quickly was Colonel O'Neill or Jack. '' What about Thake? His sense of un-humour getting to you?''
'' You mean the way he complains about everything?''
'' Yup.''
'' I'm kinda wishing he'd go back to the way he was in the beginning, when he'd just scowl extra hard at something rather than say how much he hated it. Is there anything he likes?''
'' Warm, dry planets with nearly naked natives, I'm told.''
The corners of his eyes crinkled. '' Don't we all?''
'' Seriously, Thake only gets grumpy when he's off-world for extended periods of time and mostly when he is it only reflects what everyone else is thinking.''
'' I'd noticed.'' He laughed briefly. '' I'm not kidding when I say this, Major, I thought it was going to be a hard slog with them all but... they've grown on me. I saw how cliquey the SGF from the beginning and I thought it was just because you'd all worked with each other for so long but the way the teams are laid out seems to work really well.''
He was a nice man, Sam thought suddenly, somewhat shocked. He really was a nice man. Damn, but she felt guilty about calling him Colonel Kiss-Ass in her head all this time. She opened her mouth and then quickly shut it when she realised she'd been about to tell him what a nice man she thought he was. Doh!
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
'' How can you like him?''
'' I just do, okay?''
'' Shush!''
'' Sorry, Daniel,'' they muttered, glancing at the TV again.
Jack shifted beside her, obviously desperate to have a conversation with her. He leaned a little closer to her. '' He said nothing about me?'' he whispered.
'' Nothing.''
'' So he wasn't pumping you for information?''
'' Not as far as I could see. When he wants to do that he requests meetings, remember? Like a professional. And I'm not sure he did that because General Thomas wanted him to, just because he was trying to adjust. I mean, usually SG leaders aren't pulled in from the outside, they're promoted from the inside. He was only trying...''
'' Guys!''
'' Sorry, Daniel.''
Across the room, Boyd who was slumped in the single seat sofa, snorted behind his Gameboy. '' Danny, why don't you just give up and tape the documentary. S and J obviously aren't in the mood to be considerate.''
Daniel sighed and slid a tape into the VCR, bending over and peering at the screen. '' It's just such a good documentary, and so pertinent to our next mission. I thought it would be simpler this way than writing a pre-mission report than none of you are going to read.''
'' Hey! I read your reports,'' Sam complained automatically.
'' Sorry, Sam, of course you do.'' He scowled at the other two members of SG-1 who were remaining quiet.
'' Sometimes I read the summaries,'' Boyd said, smirking as his thumbs worked their magic on the computer game. '' But only sometimes, mind.''
Jack chuckled. '' Green read your reports, Danny. Then he'd give me the general gist.''
'' I hate you guys. Except you, Sam. You're exempt.'' Muttering mutinously, he turned off the TV and went to sulk on the sofa, picking up some old and falling-apart book and starting to read.
'' I guess this our cue to continue our 'discussion','' Jack pointed out. '' Did he hit on you?''
She nearly threw up her hands. '' No. I don't think you're right about that anyway.''
'' I'm right. I know when men want you. Experience.''
She opened her mouth to say that she knew when men liked her too, but then she realised she didn't. '' I can't imagine it comes up that often.''
'' All. The. Time.''
Sam brightened. '' Really?''
Jack rolled his eyes. '' Oh for crying out..''
'' I'm not kidding. Really? I never know.''
'' That is painfully obvious. Simmons, Feretti, Forsythe... you could start your own fan club.''
'' I'll make the newsletter!'' Boyd exclaimed.
Even Daniel smirked. '' Good one,'' he murmured.
'' This is so weird. And you can always tell?''
'' Yes.''
'' Do you think.. my Jack can tell?''
'' Yes.''
Oh. Well that was something to think about. For one thing, it might explain his bizarre dislike for Nareem and maybe even Martouf, though it wasn't like they were an issue anymore.
'' Hey, Sam, did you know me in the other reality?''
Sam reached for her beer bottle to busy herself. '' Ah, not really. You were in the SGC, though.'' Please drop it, Captain. Please drop the conversation.
'' Not in SG-1?''
'' No, neither was Green because Teal'c and I were.'' Damn, but she missed Teal'c.
'' Where was I then?''
'' You were the leader of SG-10.''
'' Hey! The leader of...... SG-10?'' He paused the Gameboy and frowned as he thought. '' Weren't one of the SG-10s sucked in a black hole a couple of years ago? No, shortly after I arrived. Three years ago.''
Sam winced and suddenly everyone in the room was looking at her.
'' Sam?'' Boyd rested the Gameboy on his lap as the truth dawned. '' Was I... on SG-10 then?''
'' Yeah.''
'' Oh my God. I remember seeing the MALP screen. The last image they had of them. Jeez.'' Boyd seemed struck into silence.
Jack cleared his throat. '' It's not you, Boyd.''
'' Yeah, I know that, but still.... That's why you couldn't look me in the eye.'' He smiled slightly at her. '' I wondered. You had this awful look on your face once or twice when we first met. You saw me die.''
Sam looked down firmly at the beer bottle, finding her eyes were filling with tears. Now that she knew him, she was feeling more grief for the loss of him in the other reality than she had done at the time. Sure, she'd felt horrible for the whole of SG-10, perhaps Boyd a little more because he was the leader and because of Colonel O'Neill's reaction but she hadn't known him, not like she did now. Now... now she felt like her friend had died three years ago.
'' Sam?'' Jack touched her thigh lightly, his wedding band glinting against his tanned skin.
'' Hey, it's all right, Sam. I'm here. I'm okay.''
She sniffed, continued to stare down at the bottle. '' Yeah, that's why I couldn't look at you properly. It was hard. I'd stared at your face on that screen while we trying to figure some way to shut down the Stargate. It was your first mission. You didn't deserve to die like that.''
'' Man, this is weird.''
Quickly, she used her sleeve to wipe at an escaping tear that ran down her cheek. Thankfully, Jack got the one that ran out of the other eye, and then she gave in and pressed her face against his shoulder until she was sure she wouldn't leak all over the place. When she was sure, she put the bottle down and clambered over Jack to envelop Boyd in an awkward but friendly hug.
He laughed against her. '' You're taking this worse than I am.''
She kissed him hard on the cheek, then climbed off him and went back to her warm spot by Jack. He put his arm about her shoulders and gave her a comforting squeeze that she leaned in to. It was nice to be held by him rather than simply longing to be held by him. There had been times in her past when there was nothing more she wanted than to be held by him. After Martouf, after the entity, after Nareem. God, even after the damn zay'tarc fiasco when she'd suggested they 'leave it in the room' - a phrase that haunted her night and day - she'd wished she could turn around and be held.
Daniel was watching the three of them, smiling and shaking his head. '' You've come across other realities, right?'' he asked.
'' Two,'' she responded shortly.
'' What other differences were there?''
'' In the first one, the one you visited by accident, you weren't in the SGC. You'd died in Egypt, I think, when the Goa'uld, Apophis to be precise, attacked Earth. Catherine was working at the SGC in your place. The whole planet was wiped out in the end, though it saved us, I suppose because you came back with the co-ordinates for the ship that was being sent to attack our own Earth.''
'' What about me and you? Were we around?''
Sam grinned. '' Yeah. I was Dr Carter, so I wasn't in the military. You were General O'Neill and Hammond was a Major!''
'' No kidding! Of course, I died and everything, but, man, a General. And Hammond a subordinate. Next time I see him, I'm gonna tell him that.'' Jack brought his beer to his mouth and drank, eyes glinting with laughter.
'' We were engaged. It seems to be a running theme. In the next reality, we were married, though you were... dead. Dr Carter and Major Kowalski came through the mirror because their SGC was under attack and there didn't seem to be a way to save Earth. In the end, Colonel O'Neill and Daniel went back through so Dr Carter could contact the Asgard and get them to help out.'' And she kept seeing Colonel O'Neill kissing Dr Carter goodbye, and got that stabbed-in-the-gut feeling that hit her every time she thought about it.
'' We've only had the one incident, two including you,'' Daniel said.
'' Dad told me.''
Daniel grinned, glasses reflecting the lamp light eerily. '' That makes four out of five realities, Sam. Methinks you're fighting a losing battle.''
'' Tell me about it,'' she said, deciding, on this occasion, to see the humour in the situation. Since she currently had Jack's warm arm about her, his ring on her finger, she supposed things could have been worse. They could have been better too (Jack could be her Jack), but she'd take what she could get for the time being.
Daniel's mantelpiece clock chimed the hour and all four of them stared at it.
'' We oughta get on home,'' Jack announced, not sounding too pleased about the idea.
Boyd heaved himself up, yawning and stretching. '' Can I....?'' He gestured to the Gameboy.
'' Sure.''
'' Daniel, that's yours?'' Sam asked, surprised that Daniel would own something so... modern.
'' Yeah, but he only has Tetris.''
'' Hey, some of us have lives.....!''
'' Sure, and you got that high score in your spare time. Daniel, I know you spend Friday nights playing this thing.''
'' And what day do you call this!''
Sam and Jack hurriedly went to get their coats.
'' You need to get a girlfriend, Jackson.''
'' Actually, I have a date with Melissa Spanin lined up for next Friday.''
'' You dog...''
