Echoes of Angels7 an Eva fic by AngelDragon
Disclaimer: I own many pics of these two, not to mention many Eva-related goodies, so in a way.. YES, I DO OWN THEM! (but not this series, unfortunately)
Warnings/Notes: Okay, this is the real ending to my little fantasy. I would like to thank everyone and anyone who kept on reading and reviewing (and even if you read but didn't review ^_^) Hmm, not one damn spoiler here, just kawaii reading and shonen-ai, so enjoy!
Chapter 7: Love's Eternal Song..
He found himself standing in the cool surf of the new seashore, naked to the world and not minding, as he stared out at the horizon. The ocean was the color of amber, catching the fading radiance of the slowly setting sun, the sky awash in golds, oranges and red-purples, like some fantastic watercolor painting. There was no chaos here, nothing but peace and the sounds of the sea all around.
He closed his eyes and raised his arms up and out, feeling the warmth of the daystar wash over him. So warm, so light..he thought. Then, a light breeze at his back, he felt himself rise from the ground and the soft touch of feathers caress his cheek. Opening his eyes, he found himself soaring over the big water, felt the strong, delicate wings on his own back. I'm flying! he thought, heart fluttering in excitement. It felt effortless to him, like he'd done it all his life.
Turning to look, he saw a familiar figure next to him, holding his hand and smiling at him as he soared along with him.
Kaoru! he cried in his mind. He saw that his friend had his own pair of wings as well and that he was whole and healthy looking. He smiled widely at his companion. You're alive! And..we can fly?!
Kaoru, looking rather ethereal, nodded. I promised I would never leave you, Shin-chan.And I meant it. he thought to him. He moved to put an arm around Shinji's waist to hold him close as they flew higher and farther. Shinji never felt more loved as he caught Kaoru's eye.
We'll be together always, no matter where we go, Kao-chan! We never have to fight again! he thought to Kaoru, as they flew towards the horizon,never looking back.
Shinji awoke, groggy and confused, in a dimly lit room. He sat up, rubbing his temples and felt a presence sitting next to his bed.
'Wh -where 'm I? K'ru?'he mumbled, looking around. He saw Misato turn from her magazine to look at him, relief spreading across her face.
'You're awake, thank God,'she said, sighing.'Don't worry, Shinji, you're in Nerv's private hospital, pretty far underground, remember? The battle?'She put a hand on Shinji's bare shoulder.
He was naked under the covers and had a bandage on his forehead and an IV line in the outside of his left arm, but was otherwise okay. Recognition hit him then and he slumped forward a bit. He held his head; eyes squeezed shut as a few tears found their way out to fall in his lap.
'So, it really was just a dream..'he said, softly.How much of a baka I was to believe otherwisehe thought. A little cry of despair escaped him.
'What was, Shinji? Are you okay? Should I call the doctor?'Misato asked, leaning towards him in concern. Is it the head injury talking? she wondered. He did pass out..
'No - I'm okay. I - I had a dream, that's all.'He sniffled a bit, still looking down.'Kaoru-kun was alive in it.. Silly, huh?'he said, unable to keep the hurt and bitterness from his voice.
Misato blinked, then gave him a warm look.'But he IS alive, Shinji - barely,'she told him. Shinji's head snapped up as he looked at her, eyes wide.
'You're sure, Misato? You wouldn't be saying that just to make me feel better?'The hope and desperation were there in his face and she gave him a sympathetic smile as she took his hand and gave it a squeeze.
'I'm sure, Shinji.I saw him myself. I wouldn't lie to you,'she said. Shinji smiled, feeling relieved.'But you can't see him just now, he's still in the recovery room. Don't worry!'she added hastily, seeing his face fall.'I'll take you to him later,after they get him in a room in the ICU ward,okay?'
Shinji sighed, relieved to know his worst fear hadn't come true, then nodded, wincing a bit from his small head wound reminding him of it's existence.'Okay, I'll wait.'
'Good boy, now lay back and get some more rest. I'll have some food brought up for you when you wake up,'Misato said, seeing Shinji yawn widely and rub his eyes.
He lay back and fell asleep again, dreamless but happy. He didn't need a dream, now that reality didn't suck anymore.
Dressed in long-sleeve pajamas and slippers and without his IV, Shinji now made his way quietly down a corridor with Misato, passing a sign that read 'Intensive Care, Post -Surgical Ward'. Their footsteps echoed down the long hall as they made their way to Kaoru's private room. They stopped outside a closed door that read '913,Nagisa Kaoru' on a small paper plaque under it's little window.
Misato turned to Shinji, putting both hands on his shoulders and looking him in the eye. 'Look, Shinji, I should warn you; he was injured pretty badly. He won't look too good right now, fresh from surgery. He's hooked up to a few things and has a lot of bandages, okay? I just thought you should be prepared,'she told him, calmly. It'll crush him, but he needs to know the truthshe thought.
'Thanks, Misato.I'll be okay, I'm just glad he's alive,'Shinji said, nodding slightly. Although my stomach has been doing flip flops ever since lunch. What am I going to see here? he thought.
'Do you want me to come in with you?'Misato asked, releasing him and taking a step back.
'I think I'd like to be alone with him, actually,'Shinji said, hand on the door handle.
'I understand completely. I'll wait over here for you.'She sat down a little ways away in a group of padded chairs to read another magazine. They deserve some privacy, after all this crapshe thought.
Taking a deep breath, Shinji opened the door to the lightly lit room, trying to steel himself. Just relax, Ikari, it's only Kao-chan.he thought, ashamed of being afraid of his best friend.
Whatever he'd thought he would see, though, went right out the window when he saw what reality threw in his face. He gasped in shock, letting the door fall closed behind him as he slowly shuffled over to his wounded friend's bedside, leaning heavily against it.
Kao-chan, is - is this really you? My poor koibito..he thought, gazing down at him. He was swathed in bandages, around his head a bit, his arm and chest, too. He had a cast on his lower left arm and a pair of IV lines in his right, slowly seeping plasma and saline into him.
His right eye was bruised and swollen, he was hooked up to a ventilator, chest rising and falling with each artificial breath and hiss. He was also attached to an EKG machine that monitored his steady heartbeat and pulse with a high beeping noise. His right leg was raised a little in traction, a cast encasing the whole thing, save for his toes and the back of his ankle.
Shinji felt hot tears on his cheeks as he tentatively touched Kaoru's cheek, trying to ignore the invasive tubing coming from his mouth. He felt shaky and a little chilly as he stood there, trying to find his voice.
'Kao-chan..I'm almost afraid to touch you..'he managed to whisper. He just couldn't go any louder.
Kaoru looked so frail, lost in the bandages, wires, tubes and blankets and it broke Shinji's heart to see him that way. Sniffling, he sat down heavily in the visitor's chair by the bed and leaned over, stroking the few scruffy locks of gray hair that escaped being bandaged away. He nearly sacrificed himself..all to save meShinji thought.
He had a sudden mental flash: Unit 02 fighting against Unit 01 in the huge cavern of Central Dogma's core. Where the hell did THAT come from? he wondered, startled by such a disturbing picture in his mind.No matter.he thought,shrugging it off. All was as it should be, as far as Shinji was concerned.
'You saved me. You gave me your strength. You even sent me the Lance of Longinuss..So that's what it feels like - to be an Angel..'He held Kaoru's bandaged fingers and leaned in closer to whisper in his uncovered ear.'Thank you, koi. I owe you one. Can you hear me? I hope so.'He gave Kaoru a gentle kiss on his cheek, then rested his head on a corner of the pillow, still holding onto his fingers as he cried.
The darkness came again. He floated amidst it, bitterness in his thoughts. So, this is how it is to be? Is this death? he thought. He didn't know, but it may as well have been, so devoid of light and Shinji and any of the other few joys he'd had in his short life. He felt the tears flowing and he screwed up his face, shutting his eyes tight as he arced his body and limbs. He threw back his head with them, screaming his anguish to the cold, unfeeling darkness that threatened to drown his soul. I have saved Shinji, only to be damned to this lightless void?!he cried in his mind.
Suddenly, he felt warmth on his face. Opening his eyes warily, he squinted against the brightness of the light. He shielded his eyes with a hand and realized he held a bow in it. Puzzled, he looked around at his very different surroundings. He was on a balcony, seated in a chair, facing the rising sun. So that was the warmth and light! he thought, smiling in surprise.
In his other hand, he held the neck of his violin, it having been raised to his chin. There was a music stand in front of him with sheet music on it. Peering forward to look, he saw it was for his favorite song,'Ode to Joy'. But, where is my joy? he thought. Knowledge dawning on him like the sun currently was, he smiled and readied his violin, poising the bow over the taut strings, then began to play.
Closing his eyes, he felt the sweet cries of the instrument in his ears and the vibrations through his fingers as the bow swept across the strings. A wonderful picture began to form in his mind: starting with a pair of deep blue eyes, then dark hair, falling slightly in front of those eyes, then a shy smile with a light blush of pink across porcelain cheeks. Then, the view swept all the way down to delicate feet and toes, to complete the image of his sweet Shinji, dressed in spandex shorts and a green tank top and waving at him happily.
As the song reached it's climax, Kaoru drew out the final note, then lowered his bow, smiling as he opened his teary crimson eyes to greet the day. Ah, if only I could hold him now..he thought. Although, he could swear he heard the echo of a much deeper instrument in his ears..
Shinji was depressed. Kaoru had been in a coma for five days now and had yet to even flicker his eyes open for a split second. So, Shinji spent his days going between his home at Misato's and staying on a cot in Kaoru's hospital room. He and Misato had gotten Kaoru get-well cards and some flowers and had set them up on the nightstand and on his current trip to the hospital, Shinji'd made up his mind to bring something special.
As he walked up the hall to his friend's room, he'd gotten a couple curious yet sympathetic looks from the nurses at the nurses' station. He was carrying his little Riiya wolf plushie in one hand and his cello case in the other. It bumped against his leg as he moved with a determined look set on his face. Today will be the day, it has to be..he thought, as he entered Kaoru's room. The curtains were open and soft, artificial sunlight filtered in through the blinds, slightly dappling the still form in the bed.
Crossing to Kaoru's bedside, he smiled down at him as he held up the toy and set down his cello case.
'Hey, Kao-chan, remember him? You won him for me when we went to the movies for the first time. I brought him here to keep you company,'Shinji said, placing it in the crook of Kaoru's arm, then turned to open his cello case, holding up the slightly weighty instrument and bow.
'Guess what else? I brought my cello to play for you. You never got a chance to hear me play.'Shinji took his seat in the visitor's chair and got ready, poising the bow and leaning the body of the instrument against his knee. Here goes everythinghe thought, feeling the coolness of the polished wood against his knee. He smiled at Kaoru hopefully.
'I'll start by playing you my favorite song first,'Blue Danube', then I'll play yours,'Ode to Joy'. I know you love Beethoven,'he said, taking a deep breath.'But you need to wake up by the time I finish, okay? I think you've been asleep long enough and I miss you.'He sniffled a bit, trying to force the tears back. Damnit, this isn't the time to get all weepy-girly, or anything! he thought. Gotta focus! Even if that IS how I feel..
'Look, I know you can hear this, Misato told me comatose people can hear it when you talk to them, so you just need to wake up now!'That came out all in a rush and he had to get his breath back. He closed his eyes and calmed down, then, after another deep breath; he played for his koi the two songs he knew by heart.
After the first one, he checked Kaoru.Nothing yet, so he continued on through the second, putting his very soul into it, pleading with his mind for Kaoru to do something, anything, to let him know that he was awake. After the second song, the cello's body still thrumming with the last notes, Shinji checked again, looking hard for a sign, but seeing nothing. Crestfallen, he shakily put his cello away, almost dropping the thing on his toes, then turned back to the sleeping boy who was the yin to his yang.
The tears were there again as he carefully stroked Kaoru's hair, hating himself and hating to admit defeat. I know I'm too idealistic and childish.. But, what's wrong with running away from reality, if reality sucks? I tried to make a difference in his life, at least, but now lookhe thought. It should be me lying there, not you, Kao-chan..
'Kaoru, why won't you wake up?!Onegai?! I love you, I don't know what I'd do if I could never see you smile or hear you laugh anymore!'Shinji said, hotly. Frustrated and not knowing what else to do about it, he bent down and brushed his lips to Kaoru's cheek in a light kiss, then touched his hand to Kaoru's arm. Well, it worked for Sleeping Beauty.. And, mine is still asleep..he thought.
Then, he felt a movement under his hand where it rested lightly on Kaoru's arm. He looked down and held his breath for a second. D - did I really feel that? Or.. did I want to feel it? he wondered.
Looking closer, he saw that Kaoru's arm had tightened around the plushie. Daring to smile, Shinji looked up at Kaoru's face as he touched the arm a little harder. Kaoru had opened his deep eyes halfway and was squinting through his bruise to focus on Shinji.
Shinji fairly whooped with joy as he reached for Kaoru's hand, remembering that he still couldn't talk because of the tube down his mouth and throat, so he'd have to use pressure signals.
'Kao-chan, did you hear me?!Squeeze my hand if you did!'he said, excitedly. He felt a surprisingly strong one from him.
'Excellent, I knew it! Lemme get Misato, stay awake, Kao-chan!'He felt the squeeze again as he kissed the fingers. Turning to run, he saw Misato standing in the doorway and skidded to an embarrassed stop.
'How - how long have you been there? he asked her, feeling his face get hot and most likely,redder than it'd been in a while.
'Long enough.'She smiled to reassure him.'you're good, Shinji.Very good. And not just with your music. I'm glad he's awake now.'She crossed over to them, holding another small vase of flowers, which she placed on the nightstand with the others. She chuckled as she turned to face a puzzled Shinji.'The desk nurse told me she saw you lugging your case down here, so I thought I'd see what you were up to. Let's call the doctor and get that tube taken out, okay?'
And so began Kaoru's recovery. It took him about a week before he was up and walking about on a pair of crutches, his leg and arm still in their casts. It was difficult, but he managed well enough, with a little help from his friend. He was breathing and eating and so on, all fine on his own, fortunately. He'd been a bit embarrassed by the early attentions of the nurses to those lovely details. Shinji stayed at the hospital every night and was excused from school for personal reasons, so he could be there for Kaoru, keeping him company along with the plushie.
Kaoru would have a few minor scars on his otherwise flawless body, from the surgeries to repair his damaged spleen and a tear in his bowel and liver, but would otherwise be fine. Once the casts and bandages came off, anyway. He was ordered personally by Misato and his doctors to take it easy and not overdo it with his actions. Reluctantly, he obeyed. Shinji made sure he wasn't bored, playing cards with him, bringing him plenty of Kaoru's favorite manga and talking to him about whatever struck them at the time.
He is just so full of spirit these daysKaoru thought. I'm glad he can still smileHe reflected back on his dreams and smiled, pleased to have the real Shinji here in front of him, instead of just an image, however sexy, in his mind. There's nothing like the real thing...
Misato would come to visit every day, in between trying to figure out and untangle the mess that was Nerv Headquarters these days. I swear I could kill that man.. If he wasn't already dead, that isshe thought. On one such visit, while Shinji was in the bathroom, Kaoru asked her for a favor. At first, she'd been confused but then was behind his idea.
'I'll get right on it, don't worry!'she'd said, enthused. Kaoru had arranged a surprise of his own for his creative young lover and couldn't wait to see the look on his face.
In a few days, Kaoru was dressed in shorts, his orange T-shirt and slippers. He was sitting in a comfy chair in the physical therapy room of the hospital, next to Shinji, with his leg propped on a pillow. It was rather itchy, but he could endure it. They can't make me wear it forever, right? he thought. Of course, he would also think up some rather creative curses as he scratched at the thing in his room, trying to sleep at night.
Now, however, he was happy and holding his violin, somewhat awkwardly in his left hand and playing for Shinji.Shinji had his cello ready, but wanted to hear Kaoru play solo first. They were in front of the wide-open windows of the room, the artificial sunlight streaming in to warm them.
When his love was done, Shinji clapped and smiled approvingly. He loved Kaoru's little surprise.
'That was great, Kaoru! Ready to play with me?'he asked, poising the bow and looking at him.
Kaoru turned to him as best as he could, a playful grin on his face.'Well, I'm ready for our duet, anyway.'he chuckled at Shinji's blushing, then they began to play 'Blue Danube' together.
When they were finished, Kaoru again turned to smile at Shinji.'I think we sound good together, no matter what we play at,'he said, with a straight face. Then, Shinji blushed again and laughed, Kaoru joining him.
'I don't know why we're so happy, Kao-chan,'Shinji said, putting his cello away and stretching.'Won't Seele just try again?'
'Mmm, no, I don't think we have to worry about them anymore,'Kaoru said, putting his violin away and relaying to Shinji the visions Ayanami had sent him while he was in his coma: her going to Seele, wiping out all traces of Eva and Angel data and artifacts, then single-handedly turning all of their members, including Keel, into little puddles of LCL on their office floor. I can finally breathe againKaoru thought.
'Wow, Ayanami did that? I wondered what had happened to her. But how can she do those things?'Shinji's eyes widened as Kaoru told him what had happened in Central Dogma that night, many days ago. He was a little shocked, but accepted it, as he'd learned to accept a lot of things in his life, recently.
'Are you alright, Shin-chan?'Kaoru put a hand on Shinji's shoulder, concerned that he'd hurt him with that sudden information.
'I'm okay, really, Kao-chan.Thanks for telling me.'He sighed.'Where's Ayanami now?'He looked out at the glittering Geofront through the windows, collecting his thoughts.
'She's here, but not letting anyone but us know about it. She wants to help us tie up the loose ends.'He turned to Shinji, all business.'You know what this means, right?'
'Yeah,'Shinji said, turning to look him in the eyes.'We have to destroy the last two Evas.'He had a sad look in his eyes.
'I understand, Shinji.Though, your mother would have wanted this, I think. She wouldn't want something like Second Impact to happen again, right?'Kaoru said, gently.
Sighing, Shinji nodded.'No, she wouldn't want that. When do we start?' 'Ayanami will meet us at the hangar in a few minutes. She'll wait for us, don't worry.'Kaoru said, taking Shinji's hand and gliding to the hangar with him, masking their presence as they went. Shinji had been startled at this first flight, but Kaoru reassured him. I would never let you fall, koihe told him in his mind.
Rei had already wiped all traces of data and artifacts from the Magi and the storage hangars; she just wanted to let the boys see her implode the Evas so Shinji could say goodbye.
As Kaoru floated effortlessly beside him, Shinji stood on the catwalk near the giant head of Unit 01,placing his hands and forehead against her and closing his eyes.'Sayonara.. Okaasan. Be at peace now,'he said, then stepped back to bow his head, putting his pressed palms together at chest level, then clapped twice for her spirit in the old Shinto way.
'It's time, Shinji,'Kaoru said, gently picking him up from behind and gliding a safe distance away as Ayanami hovered between the two Evas, arms outstretched, eyes closed as she concentrated. She and the Evas glowed, brightening in intensity as Rei compressed the Units into nothing, causing a blinding flash of light that made the boys squint and shield their eyes. Then, it was over. Ayanami floated down to them, smiling lightly at the pair and touching their cheeks.
Farewell, boys. Nagisa-kun, I told you if you were victorious, I would assist you and I haveshe said in their minds.
'And so you have, indeed,Ayanami/Yui-kun.We wish you luck,as well,'Kaoru said,Shinji nodding as Kaoru kept a good hold on his waist.'Sayonara'. Ayanami nodded in return, saying 'Sayonara,'then gave them both a light kiss on their foreheads and turned away, soon lost in the darkness of the empty hangar.
'Well, now that we don't have to fight anymore, what'll we do with our time, Kao-chan?'Shinji asked as they glided back to the hospital. Kaoru grinned wickedly into Shinji's face before giving him a kiss of his own, causing him to smile back.'Oh, I think we can come up with something, Shin- chan.If we're very careful about it, that is..'he said, taking him back to his room to 'illustrate' his idea..
*OWARI*
Well,this was a long fic, but I think it was worth it, how about you? Please review and let me know. (I'll still check, even though it's complete!). I want to do a sequel with these two, but I have writer's block on them .
I'm taking requests, so if anyone has an idea and I like it, I'll put it up and share the credit ^_^ I'm nothing if not generous (and bishonen-happy!)
In Kaworu's dream, it's no coincidence that Shinji's dressed like Heero Yuy from Gundam Wing (I love him and Duo ^_^) A few songs were on my mind when I wrote this,mostly John Mayer's 'Your Body Is A Wonderland' and No Doubt's 'Underneath It All'. Got a few other series written down (I'll get 'em up eventually, promise).
On a final note (gomen, I have no homepage yet!): Despite the silliness I put in the openings and closings of this (with exception of the thanks that is!), this really is my soul on paper, so to speak. It's the same with any of my fics, whether serious or funny, you'll find me in there, somewhere. But this one is my fave, hands down, so I appreciate all the support. Don't let flamers discourage you, write what speaks to you; shonen-ai, yaoi, het, whatever. That's what freedom of expression is all about.. Ja ne, arigato!
Disclaimer: I own many pics of these two, not to mention many Eva-related goodies, so in a way.. YES, I DO OWN THEM! (but not this series, unfortunately)
Warnings/Notes: Okay, this is the real ending to my little fantasy. I would like to thank everyone and anyone who kept on reading and reviewing (and even if you read but didn't review ^_^) Hmm, not one damn spoiler here, just kawaii reading and shonen-ai, so enjoy!
Chapter 7: Love's Eternal Song..
He found himself standing in the cool surf of the new seashore, naked to the world and not minding, as he stared out at the horizon. The ocean was the color of amber, catching the fading radiance of the slowly setting sun, the sky awash in golds, oranges and red-purples, like some fantastic watercolor painting. There was no chaos here, nothing but peace and the sounds of the sea all around.
He closed his eyes and raised his arms up and out, feeling the warmth of the daystar wash over him. So warm, so light..he thought. Then, a light breeze at his back, he felt himself rise from the ground and the soft touch of feathers caress his cheek. Opening his eyes, he found himself soaring over the big water, felt the strong, delicate wings on his own back. I'm flying! he thought, heart fluttering in excitement. It felt effortless to him, like he'd done it all his life.
Turning to look, he saw a familiar figure next to him, holding his hand and smiling at him as he soared along with him.
Kaoru! he cried in his mind. He saw that his friend had his own pair of wings as well and that he was whole and healthy looking. He smiled widely at his companion. You're alive! And..we can fly?!
Kaoru, looking rather ethereal, nodded. I promised I would never leave you, Shin-chan.And I meant it. he thought to him. He moved to put an arm around Shinji's waist to hold him close as they flew higher and farther. Shinji never felt more loved as he caught Kaoru's eye.
We'll be together always, no matter where we go, Kao-chan! We never have to fight again! he thought to Kaoru, as they flew towards the horizon,never looking back.
Shinji awoke, groggy and confused, in a dimly lit room. He sat up, rubbing his temples and felt a presence sitting next to his bed.
'Wh -where 'm I? K'ru?'he mumbled, looking around. He saw Misato turn from her magazine to look at him, relief spreading across her face.
'You're awake, thank God,'she said, sighing.'Don't worry, Shinji, you're in Nerv's private hospital, pretty far underground, remember? The battle?'She put a hand on Shinji's bare shoulder.
He was naked under the covers and had a bandage on his forehead and an IV line in the outside of his left arm, but was otherwise okay. Recognition hit him then and he slumped forward a bit. He held his head; eyes squeezed shut as a few tears found their way out to fall in his lap.
'So, it really was just a dream..'he said, softly.How much of a baka I was to believe otherwisehe thought. A little cry of despair escaped him.
'What was, Shinji? Are you okay? Should I call the doctor?'Misato asked, leaning towards him in concern. Is it the head injury talking? she wondered. He did pass out..
'No - I'm okay. I - I had a dream, that's all.'He sniffled a bit, still looking down.'Kaoru-kun was alive in it.. Silly, huh?'he said, unable to keep the hurt and bitterness from his voice.
Misato blinked, then gave him a warm look.'But he IS alive, Shinji - barely,'she told him. Shinji's head snapped up as he looked at her, eyes wide.
'You're sure, Misato? You wouldn't be saying that just to make me feel better?'The hope and desperation were there in his face and she gave him a sympathetic smile as she took his hand and gave it a squeeze.
'I'm sure, Shinji.I saw him myself. I wouldn't lie to you,'she said. Shinji smiled, feeling relieved.'But you can't see him just now, he's still in the recovery room. Don't worry!'she added hastily, seeing his face fall.'I'll take you to him later,after they get him in a room in the ICU ward,okay?'
Shinji sighed, relieved to know his worst fear hadn't come true, then nodded, wincing a bit from his small head wound reminding him of it's existence.'Okay, I'll wait.'
'Good boy, now lay back and get some more rest. I'll have some food brought up for you when you wake up,'Misato said, seeing Shinji yawn widely and rub his eyes.
He lay back and fell asleep again, dreamless but happy. He didn't need a dream, now that reality didn't suck anymore.
Dressed in long-sleeve pajamas and slippers and without his IV, Shinji now made his way quietly down a corridor with Misato, passing a sign that read 'Intensive Care, Post -Surgical Ward'. Their footsteps echoed down the long hall as they made their way to Kaoru's private room. They stopped outside a closed door that read '913,Nagisa Kaoru' on a small paper plaque under it's little window.
Misato turned to Shinji, putting both hands on his shoulders and looking him in the eye. 'Look, Shinji, I should warn you; he was injured pretty badly. He won't look too good right now, fresh from surgery. He's hooked up to a few things and has a lot of bandages, okay? I just thought you should be prepared,'she told him, calmly. It'll crush him, but he needs to know the truthshe thought.
'Thanks, Misato.I'll be okay, I'm just glad he's alive,'Shinji said, nodding slightly. Although my stomach has been doing flip flops ever since lunch. What am I going to see here? he thought.
'Do you want me to come in with you?'Misato asked, releasing him and taking a step back.
'I think I'd like to be alone with him, actually,'Shinji said, hand on the door handle.
'I understand completely. I'll wait over here for you.'She sat down a little ways away in a group of padded chairs to read another magazine. They deserve some privacy, after all this crapshe thought.
Taking a deep breath, Shinji opened the door to the lightly lit room, trying to steel himself. Just relax, Ikari, it's only Kao-chan.he thought, ashamed of being afraid of his best friend.
Whatever he'd thought he would see, though, went right out the window when he saw what reality threw in his face. He gasped in shock, letting the door fall closed behind him as he slowly shuffled over to his wounded friend's bedside, leaning heavily against it.
Kao-chan, is - is this really you? My poor koibito..he thought, gazing down at him. He was swathed in bandages, around his head a bit, his arm and chest, too. He had a cast on his lower left arm and a pair of IV lines in his right, slowly seeping plasma and saline into him.
His right eye was bruised and swollen, he was hooked up to a ventilator, chest rising and falling with each artificial breath and hiss. He was also attached to an EKG machine that monitored his steady heartbeat and pulse with a high beeping noise. His right leg was raised a little in traction, a cast encasing the whole thing, save for his toes and the back of his ankle.
Shinji felt hot tears on his cheeks as he tentatively touched Kaoru's cheek, trying to ignore the invasive tubing coming from his mouth. He felt shaky and a little chilly as he stood there, trying to find his voice.
'Kao-chan..I'm almost afraid to touch you..'he managed to whisper. He just couldn't go any louder.
Kaoru looked so frail, lost in the bandages, wires, tubes and blankets and it broke Shinji's heart to see him that way. Sniffling, he sat down heavily in the visitor's chair by the bed and leaned over, stroking the few scruffy locks of gray hair that escaped being bandaged away. He nearly sacrificed himself..all to save meShinji thought.
He had a sudden mental flash: Unit 02 fighting against Unit 01 in the huge cavern of Central Dogma's core. Where the hell did THAT come from? he wondered, startled by such a disturbing picture in his mind.No matter.he thought,shrugging it off. All was as it should be, as far as Shinji was concerned.
'You saved me. You gave me your strength. You even sent me the Lance of Longinuss..So that's what it feels like - to be an Angel..'He held Kaoru's bandaged fingers and leaned in closer to whisper in his uncovered ear.'Thank you, koi. I owe you one. Can you hear me? I hope so.'He gave Kaoru a gentle kiss on his cheek, then rested his head on a corner of the pillow, still holding onto his fingers as he cried.
The darkness came again. He floated amidst it, bitterness in his thoughts. So, this is how it is to be? Is this death? he thought. He didn't know, but it may as well have been, so devoid of light and Shinji and any of the other few joys he'd had in his short life. He felt the tears flowing and he screwed up his face, shutting his eyes tight as he arced his body and limbs. He threw back his head with them, screaming his anguish to the cold, unfeeling darkness that threatened to drown his soul. I have saved Shinji, only to be damned to this lightless void?!he cried in his mind.
Suddenly, he felt warmth on his face. Opening his eyes warily, he squinted against the brightness of the light. He shielded his eyes with a hand and realized he held a bow in it. Puzzled, he looked around at his very different surroundings. He was on a balcony, seated in a chair, facing the rising sun. So that was the warmth and light! he thought, smiling in surprise.
In his other hand, he held the neck of his violin, it having been raised to his chin. There was a music stand in front of him with sheet music on it. Peering forward to look, he saw it was for his favorite song,'Ode to Joy'. But, where is my joy? he thought. Knowledge dawning on him like the sun currently was, he smiled and readied his violin, poising the bow over the taut strings, then began to play.
Closing his eyes, he felt the sweet cries of the instrument in his ears and the vibrations through his fingers as the bow swept across the strings. A wonderful picture began to form in his mind: starting with a pair of deep blue eyes, then dark hair, falling slightly in front of those eyes, then a shy smile with a light blush of pink across porcelain cheeks. Then, the view swept all the way down to delicate feet and toes, to complete the image of his sweet Shinji, dressed in spandex shorts and a green tank top and waving at him happily.
As the song reached it's climax, Kaoru drew out the final note, then lowered his bow, smiling as he opened his teary crimson eyes to greet the day. Ah, if only I could hold him now..he thought. Although, he could swear he heard the echo of a much deeper instrument in his ears..
Shinji was depressed. Kaoru had been in a coma for five days now and had yet to even flicker his eyes open for a split second. So, Shinji spent his days going between his home at Misato's and staying on a cot in Kaoru's hospital room. He and Misato had gotten Kaoru get-well cards and some flowers and had set them up on the nightstand and on his current trip to the hospital, Shinji'd made up his mind to bring something special.
As he walked up the hall to his friend's room, he'd gotten a couple curious yet sympathetic looks from the nurses at the nurses' station. He was carrying his little Riiya wolf plushie in one hand and his cello case in the other. It bumped against his leg as he moved with a determined look set on his face. Today will be the day, it has to be..he thought, as he entered Kaoru's room. The curtains were open and soft, artificial sunlight filtered in through the blinds, slightly dappling the still form in the bed.
Crossing to Kaoru's bedside, he smiled down at him as he held up the toy and set down his cello case.
'Hey, Kao-chan, remember him? You won him for me when we went to the movies for the first time. I brought him here to keep you company,'Shinji said, placing it in the crook of Kaoru's arm, then turned to open his cello case, holding up the slightly weighty instrument and bow.
'Guess what else? I brought my cello to play for you. You never got a chance to hear me play.'Shinji took his seat in the visitor's chair and got ready, poising the bow and leaning the body of the instrument against his knee. Here goes everythinghe thought, feeling the coolness of the polished wood against his knee. He smiled at Kaoru hopefully.
'I'll start by playing you my favorite song first,'Blue Danube', then I'll play yours,'Ode to Joy'. I know you love Beethoven,'he said, taking a deep breath.'But you need to wake up by the time I finish, okay? I think you've been asleep long enough and I miss you.'He sniffled a bit, trying to force the tears back. Damnit, this isn't the time to get all weepy-girly, or anything! he thought. Gotta focus! Even if that IS how I feel..
'Look, I know you can hear this, Misato told me comatose people can hear it when you talk to them, so you just need to wake up now!'That came out all in a rush and he had to get his breath back. He closed his eyes and calmed down, then, after another deep breath; he played for his koi the two songs he knew by heart.
After the first one, he checked Kaoru.Nothing yet, so he continued on through the second, putting his very soul into it, pleading with his mind for Kaoru to do something, anything, to let him know that he was awake. After the second song, the cello's body still thrumming with the last notes, Shinji checked again, looking hard for a sign, but seeing nothing. Crestfallen, he shakily put his cello away, almost dropping the thing on his toes, then turned back to the sleeping boy who was the yin to his yang.
The tears were there again as he carefully stroked Kaoru's hair, hating himself and hating to admit defeat. I know I'm too idealistic and childish.. But, what's wrong with running away from reality, if reality sucks? I tried to make a difference in his life, at least, but now lookhe thought. It should be me lying there, not you, Kao-chan..
'Kaoru, why won't you wake up?!Onegai?! I love you, I don't know what I'd do if I could never see you smile or hear you laugh anymore!'Shinji said, hotly. Frustrated and not knowing what else to do about it, he bent down and brushed his lips to Kaoru's cheek in a light kiss, then touched his hand to Kaoru's arm. Well, it worked for Sleeping Beauty.. And, mine is still asleep..he thought.
Then, he felt a movement under his hand where it rested lightly on Kaoru's arm. He looked down and held his breath for a second. D - did I really feel that? Or.. did I want to feel it? he wondered.
Looking closer, he saw that Kaoru's arm had tightened around the plushie. Daring to smile, Shinji looked up at Kaoru's face as he touched the arm a little harder. Kaoru had opened his deep eyes halfway and was squinting through his bruise to focus on Shinji.
Shinji fairly whooped with joy as he reached for Kaoru's hand, remembering that he still couldn't talk because of the tube down his mouth and throat, so he'd have to use pressure signals.
'Kao-chan, did you hear me?!Squeeze my hand if you did!'he said, excitedly. He felt a surprisingly strong one from him.
'Excellent, I knew it! Lemme get Misato, stay awake, Kao-chan!'He felt the squeeze again as he kissed the fingers. Turning to run, he saw Misato standing in the doorway and skidded to an embarrassed stop.
'How - how long have you been there? he asked her, feeling his face get hot and most likely,redder than it'd been in a while.
'Long enough.'She smiled to reassure him.'you're good, Shinji.Very good. And not just with your music. I'm glad he's awake now.'She crossed over to them, holding another small vase of flowers, which she placed on the nightstand with the others. She chuckled as she turned to face a puzzled Shinji.'The desk nurse told me she saw you lugging your case down here, so I thought I'd see what you were up to. Let's call the doctor and get that tube taken out, okay?'
And so began Kaoru's recovery. It took him about a week before he was up and walking about on a pair of crutches, his leg and arm still in their casts. It was difficult, but he managed well enough, with a little help from his friend. He was breathing and eating and so on, all fine on his own, fortunately. He'd been a bit embarrassed by the early attentions of the nurses to those lovely details. Shinji stayed at the hospital every night and was excused from school for personal reasons, so he could be there for Kaoru, keeping him company along with the plushie.
Kaoru would have a few minor scars on his otherwise flawless body, from the surgeries to repair his damaged spleen and a tear in his bowel and liver, but would otherwise be fine. Once the casts and bandages came off, anyway. He was ordered personally by Misato and his doctors to take it easy and not overdo it with his actions. Reluctantly, he obeyed. Shinji made sure he wasn't bored, playing cards with him, bringing him plenty of Kaoru's favorite manga and talking to him about whatever struck them at the time.
He is just so full of spirit these daysKaoru thought. I'm glad he can still smileHe reflected back on his dreams and smiled, pleased to have the real Shinji here in front of him, instead of just an image, however sexy, in his mind. There's nothing like the real thing...
Misato would come to visit every day, in between trying to figure out and untangle the mess that was Nerv Headquarters these days. I swear I could kill that man.. If he wasn't already dead, that isshe thought. On one such visit, while Shinji was in the bathroom, Kaoru asked her for a favor. At first, she'd been confused but then was behind his idea.
'I'll get right on it, don't worry!'she'd said, enthused. Kaoru had arranged a surprise of his own for his creative young lover and couldn't wait to see the look on his face.
In a few days, Kaoru was dressed in shorts, his orange T-shirt and slippers. He was sitting in a comfy chair in the physical therapy room of the hospital, next to Shinji, with his leg propped on a pillow. It was rather itchy, but he could endure it. They can't make me wear it forever, right? he thought. Of course, he would also think up some rather creative curses as he scratched at the thing in his room, trying to sleep at night.
Now, however, he was happy and holding his violin, somewhat awkwardly in his left hand and playing for Shinji.Shinji had his cello ready, but wanted to hear Kaoru play solo first. They were in front of the wide-open windows of the room, the artificial sunlight streaming in to warm them.
When his love was done, Shinji clapped and smiled approvingly. He loved Kaoru's little surprise.
'That was great, Kaoru! Ready to play with me?'he asked, poising the bow and looking at him.
Kaoru turned to him as best as he could, a playful grin on his face.'Well, I'm ready for our duet, anyway.'he chuckled at Shinji's blushing, then they began to play 'Blue Danube' together.
When they were finished, Kaoru again turned to smile at Shinji.'I think we sound good together, no matter what we play at,'he said, with a straight face. Then, Shinji blushed again and laughed, Kaoru joining him.
'I don't know why we're so happy, Kao-chan,'Shinji said, putting his cello away and stretching.'Won't Seele just try again?'
'Mmm, no, I don't think we have to worry about them anymore,'Kaoru said, putting his violin away and relaying to Shinji the visions Ayanami had sent him while he was in his coma: her going to Seele, wiping out all traces of Eva and Angel data and artifacts, then single-handedly turning all of their members, including Keel, into little puddles of LCL on their office floor. I can finally breathe againKaoru thought.
'Wow, Ayanami did that? I wondered what had happened to her. But how can she do those things?'Shinji's eyes widened as Kaoru told him what had happened in Central Dogma that night, many days ago. He was a little shocked, but accepted it, as he'd learned to accept a lot of things in his life, recently.
'Are you alright, Shin-chan?'Kaoru put a hand on Shinji's shoulder, concerned that he'd hurt him with that sudden information.
'I'm okay, really, Kao-chan.Thanks for telling me.'He sighed.'Where's Ayanami now?'He looked out at the glittering Geofront through the windows, collecting his thoughts.
'She's here, but not letting anyone but us know about it. She wants to help us tie up the loose ends.'He turned to Shinji, all business.'You know what this means, right?'
'Yeah,'Shinji said, turning to look him in the eyes.'We have to destroy the last two Evas.'He had a sad look in his eyes.
'I understand, Shinji.Though, your mother would have wanted this, I think. She wouldn't want something like Second Impact to happen again, right?'Kaoru said, gently.
Sighing, Shinji nodded.'No, she wouldn't want that. When do we start?' 'Ayanami will meet us at the hangar in a few minutes. She'll wait for us, don't worry.'Kaoru said, taking Shinji's hand and gliding to the hangar with him, masking their presence as they went. Shinji had been startled at this first flight, but Kaoru reassured him. I would never let you fall, koihe told him in his mind.
Rei had already wiped all traces of data and artifacts from the Magi and the storage hangars; she just wanted to let the boys see her implode the Evas so Shinji could say goodbye.
As Kaoru floated effortlessly beside him, Shinji stood on the catwalk near the giant head of Unit 01,placing his hands and forehead against her and closing his eyes.'Sayonara.. Okaasan. Be at peace now,'he said, then stepped back to bow his head, putting his pressed palms together at chest level, then clapped twice for her spirit in the old Shinto way.
'It's time, Shinji,'Kaoru said, gently picking him up from behind and gliding a safe distance away as Ayanami hovered between the two Evas, arms outstretched, eyes closed as she concentrated. She and the Evas glowed, brightening in intensity as Rei compressed the Units into nothing, causing a blinding flash of light that made the boys squint and shield their eyes. Then, it was over. Ayanami floated down to them, smiling lightly at the pair and touching their cheeks.
Farewell, boys. Nagisa-kun, I told you if you were victorious, I would assist you and I haveshe said in their minds.
'And so you have, indeed,Ayanami/Yui-kun.We wish you luck,as well,'Kaoru said,Shinji nodding as Kaoru kept a good hold on his waist.'Sayonara'. Ayanami nodded in return, saying 'Sayonara,'then gave them both a light kiss on their foreheads and turned away, soon lost in the darkness of the empty hangar.
'Well, now that we don't have to fight anymore, what'll we do with our time, Kao-chan?'Shinji asked as they glided back to the hospital. Kaoru grinned wickedly into Shinji's face before giving him a kiss of his own, causing him to smile back.'Oh, I think we can come up with something, Shin- chan.If we're very careful about it, that is..'he said, taking him back to his room to 'illustrate' his idea..
*OWARI*
Well,this was a long fic, but I think it was worth it, how about you? Please review and let me know. (I'll still check, even though it's complete!). I want to do a sequel with these two, but I have writer's block on them .
I'm taking requests, so if anyone has an idea and I like it, I'll put it up and share the credit ^_^ I'm nothing if not generous (and bishonen-happy!)
In Kaworu's dream, it's no coincidence that Shinji's dressed like Heero Yuy from Gundam Wing (I love him and Duo ^_^) A few songs were on my mind when I wrote this,mostly John Mayer's 'Your Body Is A Wonderland' and No Doubt's 'Underneath It All'. Got a few other series written down (I'll get 'em up eventually, promise).
On a final note (gomen, I have no homepage yet!): Despite the silliness I put in the openings and closings of this (with exception of the thanks that is!), this really is my soul on paper, so to speak. It's the same with any of my fics, whether serious or funny, you'll find me in there, somewhere. But this one is my fave, hands down, so I appreciate all the support. Don't let flamers discourage you, write what speaks to you; shonen-ai, yaoi, het, whatever. That's what freedom of expression is all about.. Ja ne, arigato!
