Title: The Hellmouth is Not Enough (Chapter Seven)

Author: Randall Stone

Disclaimer: All characters are belong to someone else.

Summary: England's newest secret agent draws Sunnydale duty.

Notes:
Spoilers: S1-3

Changes: Hopefully everything will be explained in the text. Bug
me if anything is confusing.

Continuity notes:
- S3 proceeded as written (I'm assuming a 'self-healing' view of
history, rather than a 'step on a butterfly and change
everything' view)
- Bond notes: The Connery movies happened, and all the events
from the book happened. None of the Moore, Dalton, or Brosnan
movies have happened. Instead, Bond moved into gradually less
physically demanding roles, finally winding up in an advisory
position for a decade or so before retiring. Think of him as
looking physically the way Connery did in Entrapment.

This is a fun fic, so I'll be playing a little fast and loose with
the characters. They should be recognizable, but I'm not making
any effort to match up with S4 canon.

Category: B/X
Rating: PG-14- nothing worse than what's on the show.
Feedback: Yes please.

*****

Riley smiled at the man standing in front of his desk.

"You wanted to talk to me, Jeff?"

Jeff Baker fidgeted uneasily, examining Riley's office. He seemed
interested in looking at everything except for his former boss's
eyes.

One of the ironies of the silicon fabrication industries was that
despite the sophistication of the end product, few of the assembly
line workers had any education beyond high school. Jeff was not one
of the educated few. His tall height and broad build made him
ideally suited to be a line foreman, but he was out of his depth in
attempting to confront 'the boss'. Jeff took a moment to summon up
his courage and launch into his argument.

"Well, you see Dr. Finn, when you fired us all last month, a lot of
us were kind of left in the cold, you know? I talked to an old high
school buddy of mine who's in a union, and he says that in
California you have to give due notice, or a severance package."

"You came in here to ask me for money?"

"Yeah." Jeff looked miserable. "It's just, I'm having a hard time
making rent, and my buddy said it's the law, and-"

"Jeff, relax." Riley interrupted. "I did handle the reduction in
force poorly. But I'm going to make things right. In fact, I've
set up a committee to determine what each employee's severance
package should be. Would you like to see them?"

"That'd be swell. I can't thank you enough, Dr-"

Jeff was cut off when Riley pressed the hidden button under his desk
that opened the trap door hidden under Jeff's feet. Riley listened
to Jeff's surprised shout as he fell down the slide that Riley had
had installed. Silence fell when Jeff reached the bottom. Riley
knew that that would only be temporary.

It had been expensive to install the trap door in his office along
with the slide system that led to the vampire pens downstairs. But,
Riley decided as he listed to Jeff's terrified screams, it had been
well worth it.

Riley leaned over his desk and hit the intercom button.

"How are our guests doing?"

"Looks like they'll be up in a half hour or so, sir."

"Excellent. Are you free at eleven?"

"Of course, sir. How was your meeting?"

"He doesn't have any complaints."

---

Like most Watchers, Giles was not a morning person. He was rubbing
sleep out of his eyes when he answered the unexpected knock at his
door. He came fully awake with a start when he saw who his visitor
was.

"Willow! Hello."

"Hi Giles."

"Um, not that I mind you visiting, but isn't it a little early..."

"Some of us are always awake by now. We can't all be 'gentlemen of
leisure'." Willow's expression turned serious. "Honestly, I'm a
little worried. Buffy skipped out on our Bronzing last night. Have
you seen her today?"

"No, I haven't." Giles ushered her inside. "I think I know where
she is, though. Can you do some research for me, electronically?"

"Sure. I have my laptop with me." Willow fished the computer out
of her backpack.

"Good. I want you to see what you can find on Finnco."

---

Xander groaned as he swam back into consciousness. His head hurt,
and his mouth felt like it had been stuffed with cotton. He became
aware of more aches and pains as the feeling returned to his
extremities. Apparently whatever had taken him down had knocked him
out so thoroughly that his body didn't even move into a comfortable
resting position.

"Good morning sleepy head."

"Buffy." Xander squinted up at her. "Where are we?"

"Your guess is as good as mine. Probably better. Wherever it is-"
Buffy gestured around the room, which Xander could now see was some
kind of cell. "We're not going anywhere."

"Lovely." Xander sat up after a bit of a struggle, and started
rubbing his temples. "I don't suppose there's any chance we could
break out."

"I don't think the vampire out there with the gun would appreciate
it. God, Xander, what have you gotten us in to now?"

"Me? It's not my- well, actually, I guess it is my fault."

Xander was saved from any further unhappy introspection by the
guard, who chose that moment to enter the cell along with a couple
of his friends.

"Boss wants to see you. Come with us." The guard gestured with his
gun.

Xander and Buffy looked at each other, then wordlessly complied,
following their captors out of the cell and down a long hallway.
Xander kept his eyes open for any chance to escape, but one of the
vampires always stood out of arm's reach with his gun leveled at the
captives.

They climbed a flight of stairs and passed through two security
checkpoints before arriving in a conference room. The room was
large, and would easily be able to accommodate groups of twenty
people or more. The dominating feature of the room was a large
rectangular table that nearly bisected the room lengthwise. There
were four people seated across one side of the table.

Xander recognized Riley Finn and Maggie Walsh, but not the other two
men. They shared the same thin build and had identical Hispanic
features on their faces. Xander idly guessed that they were
identical twins, but quickly turned his attention to Riley Finn as
the guards directed Xander and Buffy into the seats across from him.

"Welcome to my compound, Mr. Harris. I must admit that your
determination is quite impressive."

"Wait a minute." Buffy interrupted. "I've been wondering for a
while- how did Xander get mixed up in all this?"

"It's kind of a long story, Buff-" Xander started to say before
Riley cut him off.

"Mr. Harris is a secret agent of the British Government."

"I guess it wasn't so long."

"Yes, but the matter of your employment is the subject that
compelled me to bring you here today. A man with your skills and
ruthless nature could go far in this organization."

"What possible reason would I have to work for you?"

"For one thing, I will be running this country in a few months. You
can get in now on the ground floor."

"The ground floor of an insane asylum! You might be making good
money smuggling your computer chips around, but you don't have the
ability to take over anything."

"I'll forgive your skepticism, Mr. Harris, since you don't yet
understand the full picture."

Riley pulled an object out of his pocket and tossed it on the table
in front of Xander. Xander picked it up to examine it closely. It
looked like a small computer chip with two fine wires running out
of one end.

"You understand the basis of operant conditioning, don't you Mr.
Harris? The carrot and the stick. Well, what you hold in your
hands represents the ultimate carrot and ultimate stick.

"Imagine a computer chip, implanted in the subject's skull. One
wire run to the pleasure center of the brain, the other to the pain
center. When the subject does something I want, a quick jolt of
electricity brings them unparalleled bliss. When they do something
wrong, the same level of electricity causes unimaginable pain.

"Surely you've wondered why my vampire employees have never turned
on me, despite my physical vulnerability. Watch."

Riley stood and summoned one of his guards over. He ordered the
vampire to try to hit him. Caught between the twin compulsions of
following Finn's orders and not harming Finn, the vampire hesitated
for a moment before preparing himself and launching a punch. The
vampire collapsed in pain before his fist was even halfway to Finn.

Xander laughed.

"Nice try, Finn. You think I'll be intimidated by an obvious lie
like that? Even if the chip weren't technologically impossible, the
surgery required to implant it would be far too invasive to
survive. You'll have to do better than that to scare me into
anything."

"I fear I've been remiss in introducing the other members of my
team. Professor Walsh you know, of course. These other two men are
Juan and Carlos- two shamans that I met in Colombia. Their tireless
efforts to marry magic and technology are what led to the success of
project Grand Slam and the chip that you hold in your hand.

"And while our original installation procedure was too messy for
anybody but vampires to survive, we have refined it over time until
it is quite effective on humans. Maggie here was the first
recipient."

Xander could tell from Walsh's expression that Riley was telling the
truth.

"So you see, Mr. Harris, when I say that you will go far in this
organization, I'm afraid that your consent will not be required."

Riley gestured for the guards to take Buffy and Xander to the
operating room. They walked out of the room, stunned into silence,
as Finn got in his final words.

"And Miss Summers... well, perhaps you will finally finish your
homework on time."

---

Xander cursed to himself as he looked around, maintaining an
outwardly calm facade while desperately searching for any means of
escape. He could see Buffy beside him doing the same thing.

But there was just no way that they could overpower their guards.
The guards' extreme paranoia towards Xander after his past escapades
led them to maintain a formation that would prevent even a vampire
slayer from escaping. In addition to the two large vampires at
their sides, two additional vampiric guards followed about ten paces
behind the group with their automatic rifles trained on the
prisoners, ready to fire at the slightest provocation.

Buffy and Xander were left with no choice but to follow Walsh and
the twin shamans as they led the group to their destination. Xander
couldn't help but be impressed when they finally passed through a
set of double doors and saw the interior of the operating room.

It was a large, circular room that would not have looked out of
place in a hospital. The room was organized into two tiers. The
outer ring was used for observation and contained a variety of
support machinery as well as providing a platform for reading the
panoply of monitors on the outer wall.

In the center of the room there was a good sized operating area sunk
a few feet into the floor. The area provided enough room for two
surgical tables and space for the operating surgeon and their
support team to work.

The surgical tables occupied more of Xander's attention as he and
Buffy were ushered towards them. As he drew closer he could see
that the tables were solidly constructed, consisting of a five inch
thick slab of solid steel mounted on top of a wheeled framework.
The shackles near the head and foot of the table were the only
indicator of the involuntary nature of the surgery about to be
performed.

The other thing that caught Xander's eye before he was strapped to
one of the operating tables was a distinctive coat slung across one
of the chairs in the outer ring of the room. It was the coat that
he had been wearing earlier, and he could even make out the
distinctive shape of his shoulder holster underneath. He realized
that Finn must be so confident in his chip that he intended to
rearm Xander as soon as the operation was complete.

Professor Walsh had the guards remove Buffy and Xander's shirts
before shackling them to their respective tables; Xander was
restrained on his back with Buffy on his right. As Walsh prepared
herself for surgery, the vampiric guards stationed themselves on the
outer ring, two on Buffy's side of the room and two on Xander's.
While all of this was going on the shamans were busy setting up for
a ritual on the outer ring near the guards on Xander's side of the
room.

Xander struggled futilely against his bonds as Walsh finished her
preparation and walked over to him. She looked at him with some
amusement evident on her face before launching into an explanation
of the procedure.

"You remember when your teacher taught you in kindergarten that no
two people are exactly alike, Mr. Harris? In a way she was right.
There are an infinite number of variations on the human brain. Each
one handles pain in a different way. The signals flow through the
same general area in each person, of course, but always in a
subtlely different way.

"That poses a bit of a problem for our device. We could just jam a
wire in the right general area and run a heaping amount of current
through, of course. But that doesn't provide us with a very fine
degree of control, and it's not very elegant.

"So, once the twins have finished setting up their monitoring spell,
we'll be testing how your brain handles various kinds of pain."

Walsh gestured at the broad variety of pain inflicting tools sitting
on a small wheeled table next to Xander's head.

"We'll start with the piercing implements, I think." Walsh mused,
reaching for a straight pin. "Though I do so enjoy the effects of
heat. It is a dilemma.

"But then, why choose just one?" She smiled evilly as she held the
pin against a heating element.

Xander increased the intensity of his attempts to escape, to no
avail.

"You may as well save your energy, Mr. Harris. No human could
possibly break those shackles."

"I know." Xander suddenly quit struggling and smiled at her.

Maggie stared at him uneasily for a moment. Before she could think
of something to say she was distracted by a tremendous crashing
noise from behind her. She spun around and saw that Buffy had
managed to tip her entire table onto its side. The slayer tore off
the last shackle restraining her and leapt to her feet while Walsh
was still in shock from what she was seeing.

Buffy knocked her professor out with a single punch before pulling
Xander's table onto its side in order to provide them with some
cover while she freed him.

"Thanks." Xander gasped out as Buffy tore off the last restraint,
allowing him to roll to the floor. "I was starting to get worried.
I can't believe that woman got tenure."

"Would you want to be the one to say 'no' to her?"

Xander stared at Buffy for a moment before breaking into a small
grin.

"Good point. So, got any ideas to get us out of this mess?"

"Me? Which one of us is a secret agent?"

"You're not going to let that go for a while, are you?" After Buffy
shook her head, Xander continued. "Well, I saw my things over there
when we came into the room. If I can get to my gun, we should be
all right. Judging from the lack of gunfire, they're going to try
to capture us alive. We should be seeing some hot shot vampire
right about..."

At that moment, one of the guards vaulted over Xander's table,
brandishing his rifle. Xander quickly yanked the gun out of the
vampire's hands after Buffy stunned it with a quick jab. Buffy
grabbed the reeling vampire by the throat and bodily threw him over
her table towards the two guards on her side of the room.

Even as the vampire was careening into his companions, Buffy leapt
over the table to follow up on the attack. Meanwhile, Xander ran
from their temporary sanctuary towards his trusty PPK. As he ran,
Xander squeezed off a burst of fire towards the one remaining
vampire on his side of the room. In his first bit of good luck for
the day, one of the bullets struck the vampire's gun dead on,
rendering it useless.

Xander took advantage of this respite to take stock of the
situation. Standing next to the vampire about thirty feet away from
him were the twin shamans. They seemed to have abandoned their
sensing spell and were chanting something that sounded quite
malevolent. An evil haze was thickening around them as Xander
watched.

Xander had to come to a decision quickly. He raised the rifle and
took careful aim before squeezing off two shots, placing one bullet
into the brain of each of the shamans. The haze in the air
disappeared when they died.

Xander now had just one angry vampire to deal with. Xander began
backing towards his coat as the vampire charged at him. He switched
the rifle over to full automatic fire and sprayed the vampire with
bullets in an attempt to slow him down. This had little effect on
the vampire's charge but did slow him down enough that Xander
reached his jacket while the vampire was still ten feet away.

Xander quickly reached under his jacket and withdrew his Walther
PPK, leveling it at the vampire. The vampire simply stopped in his
tracks and placed his hands on his hips, thrusting out his bullet
riddled chest and smiling at Xander.

Xander smiled back at the vampire before squeezing off two shots,
one aimed at each thigh. The vampire's smile only broadened after
the impact as he began to advance towards Xander again. The
vampire's smile soon turned into a puzzled look, and then into a
pain filled grimace as he fell to the floor, clawing furiously at
his legs and howling in agony.

Xander took a moment to congratulate himself on his foresight in
loading his gun with the vamp killer ammo before retrieving a stake
from his jacket's inner pocket. Xander walked over to the vampire
and plunged the stake into the vampire's heart. He thought he saw
an almost grateful look cross the vampire's face before it turned
to dust.

Xander rose to his feet and surveyed the room. Buffy was easily
handling the other three vampires. She had managed to disarm them
early in the fight and was now dominating the conflict. She was
inflicting massive amounts of damage on the vampires but lacked the
means to finish them off.

"Buffy, catch!"

Xander threw the stake to her overhand as soon as she turned around.
Buffy easily snatched the stake out of the air and turned back to
her fight. Seconds later, the vampires were dust.

"Good work, Buffy." Xander congratulated her as he walked across
the room to the slayer, stopping a few feet in front of her. "I
guess I had a plan after all."

"Yep, got us out of danger and everything." Buffy smiled at him.
"Now, how can I ever thank you?"

Xander leaned down as Buffy slowly closed the distance between them
to capture his lips in a passionate kiss. A very passionate kiss.
Not that kissing Buffy was ever a routine experience, but this was
the first time that Xander had actually seen stars while kissing a
girl. He lost himself in the moment for a while, until he
remembered the urgency of the situation and pulled away.

Buffy and Xander stared at each other for a moment, before Xander
spoke.

"That was... intense."

"Yeah." Buffy paused. "I think before, my Slayer sense could tell
that you were hiding something from me. So subliminally, it was
holding me back. But now that I know about your big secret, my
subconscious will let me really commit to something."

"Yeah. Also, before, we had our shirts on."

Buffy jumped a little in surprise before running over to the table
where Walsh had left their shirts.

"So what's the plan now, secret agent man?"

"Well, first, we get dressed." Xander smiled at her. "Then, we
save the world."

"Again? I should get a punch card or something."

***