Zidane's Weird Day
chapter 3
mewprout@yahoo.com
yukito the NM Syndromer
y.NM.S- Yay! I finally got a vomit flavored jellybean from those Harry Potter candy thingies!
Zidane- Did you eat it?
y.NM.S- *cheerfully* Yep! They were nasty!
Zidane- Were you expecting any food associated with vomit to taste good?
y.NM.S- Actually, at first it was kind of sugary, but then the horrible acidic aftertaste kicked in. I gagged and had to get something to drink.
Zidane- Ah. Good for you.
y.NM.S: And thanks to anyone who reviewed and sent in ideas, it helps.
Disclaimer- Blah, blah, blah, not mine, blah, blah, blah, don't sue.
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Zidane sat at his desk, extremely nervous. Id was sitting at the large black desk at the head of the room, a creepy grin stretched onto his face. Someone behind Zidane sneezed.
Id shot up and fired a Chi blast at the poor adolescent, and resumed staring at the class as if nothing had happened.
"Uh…" Zidane raised his hand. "Uh, Mr. Id? Aren't you supposed to teach us sciency things?" The evil red-haired
subconscious blinked and grinned.
"Why, yes, that reminds me!" he got up from the desk and wheeled in a television. "I brought in a video
for us to watch! It's called America's Funniest Home Biological Experiment Videos by Hojo. He happily donated
several tapes to the school."
"Only after he nearly burned the cafeteria down," Yusuke shouted from the back of the class. Id's grin now looked a little forced.
"You're just lucky I reached my quota on killing for today, kid," he mumbled angrily. Id pressed start on the VCR and the tape began.
An old dude appeared on the screen. "Hello, and welcome to America's Funniest Home Biological Experiment Videos. I'm your host Hojo. And yes, I'm sexy, aren't I?" He proceeded to flex his muscles and do other such narcissist things. Several people in the room gagged.
"Anyway, I would like to show you my first experiment. It is called the H-0998-75YU-4179-PEE-012, or Hamtaro for short." An image of a sickeningly cute orange and white hamster appeared on the screen. It blinked its eyes cutely, and made cute little sounds.
"AHH! I have a blood clot in my brain!" Jiminy ran out of the room, screaming hysterically.
"Lucky bastard," Zidane thought. Jiminy always had some excuse to get out of class.
"With this amazing creature, I can control the world," the mad scientist continued. "Watch as it seeps into the minds of these highly educated scholars and makes them cry like abused house wives!"
Another video with several people was shown. One was curled in the corner, rocking back and forth and muttering about the apocalypse. Another was running about in circles and tripped over a chair every few seconds, screaming as if he were a decapitated chicken. The third was on his knees, shaking his fists at the sky and yelling 'Why have you forsaken me?!'
The disturbing images were suddenly cut off, and Hojo appeared yet again.
"Do you see what I can do to you?" he whispered eerily. "You can't escape. I know where you live. I know where all of you live. I will hunt you down and destroy you-," Id suddenly blasted the television screen, effectively (If not somewhat violently) turning off the video.
"Dear God, that man was sick!" he said, an appalled look on his face. The bell rang, signaling the end of the period.
"Okay, you pathetic specimens of children," Id waved his hand at the door. "Leave my sight."
Zidane's next period was supposed to be Language Arts, but his teacher, Legolas, was too high off of drugs to teach it.
So, Zidane caught up on his wonderful sleep. Then, he headed to P.E..
"Alright, weakling humans, line up!" Vegeta roared.
"Man, I hate this class," Squall muttered to Zidane. Zidane nodded in agreement.
"Now, all of you, give me 25 laps around the school, and if I see one of you walking you're gonna get it!" Vegeta blew on his whistle and everyone started. The first five laps went by fairly easily, but after that everyone felt as if their heart would rupture. Abruptly, Squall passed out.
"N-O-O-O-O!" Cloud rushed forward and pounded at the ground next to Squall's body, sobbing. "I loved him so much!"
"Get the hell away from him!" Zidane swatted Cloud away. "What is your problem?! Do you get a new boyfriend/girlfriend every day of the week?!"
Cloud looked hurt. "I just want to be loved…" He ran away, sobbing once more.
"Whatever," Vegeta said. He looked down at the brown-haired teenager and kicked his prone form. Squall twitched,
but didn't respond aside from that. "I think he's in a coma."
Everyone just stood there.
"Maybe someone should, um… get an ambulance…"
No one moved.
"Fine!" Zidane threw up his hands in exasperation. "I'll call the hospital."
A little while later, Squall was lying in a hospital bed with Zidane sitting at his side.
"Dude, you're like my, DUDE! We were always so shibby, dude. If you die, dude, it would be, like, so excesstential!"
Zidane wept. A passing nurse overheard Zidane's peculiar lingo, but decided not to question him for an answer as to the word's meanings. (A/N Hell, I don't understand what he said!)
"Well, I guess I should go," Zidane said, standing up. "The sick guy in the next bed has been yelling at me to shut up for the past half hour."
"THANK YOU!" The aforementioned sick guy yelled.
"Well, I'll see you later. Hope you get well soon." Zidane started to leave, but tripped over a plug. A loud beeping noise started to emit from the monitors. "Uh, I hope that wasn't important…" Zidane swiftly ran out, hoping no one saw him.
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y.NM.S: Yay, new chapter! Now I need to get to work on my other ones.
Characters From Other Stories: *look pissed* Naw, really?!
y.NM.S: Uh, yeah. I'll just go now. 0.o Righty'o then…
