Moment's Notice

Author's Notes: Hey, this is Lucy from WTFU fm, saying hey to all the groovy cats and kittens out there in Readerland.tonight, we've got the new fic by yours truly and my partner-in-crime Alice. In this fic, Dib is New York's top paranormal detective. The best in the business. He's nobody's fool. But then along comes Laura. She's pretty, she scared, she's blonde, and she needs Dib's help. Or does she? Find out in this tale of mystery, intrigue and subtle humour, by two of the youngest authoresses in the fanfic biz. Stay tuned, stay cool, and pleeaase, don't forget to leave a review...

PLURly Yours, Lucy.

Disclaimer an' other stuff: A few acronyms; IZ (c) JCV, ALTJ. ITC? Set in NYC, A/U. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~What's up wid awl dem squiggly lines?!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Try to imagine in black and white, with old Miles Davis-esque jazz in the background.)

It was one of those hot stormy nights in New York, one of those nights that make you feel like you're living in a teapot. The lights flickered on and off on account of the lightning, but that didn't bother me. The paranormal detective agency's been going way done in the past few months. I dunno, maybe people feel weird about an 11-year-old having a small business. I was just about to close up when there was a knock at the door. The visitor let herself in, and that was her first big mistake. I could hear her crying from here. "Hello? Is anyone here?" She said between sobs. I couldn't see her at all, save for once in a brief flash of lightning.

"Right here, missy." I replied flatly, half-obscured by the shadows. "Anything I can do for ya?" "Yes..." She wiped some mascara-soaked tears from her eyes. She stepped into the dim lighting so I could see her. Second mistake. She was an obvious femme fatale. No, a stereotype femme fatale. She had huge green eyes, big red lips and the distinctively feminine parts of her upper torso had the same attributes, if you catch my drift. She was kinda tall and lanky, wearing only designer clothes. But what I first noticed was her fairy-tale-esque long blonde hair.

"So, what's your name?" I said, getting up and offering her a tissue. "Rapunzel?" "What?" She said, seeming very puzzled. You could tell she was ditzy just from looking at her. "Well, you've got long hair and I found you languishing in a tower. It kinda fits." "No," she replied. "It's Laura." She sat down. "Laura Davis." "Laura, eh...?" I said softly. Now that takes me back. In my mind I recited a song I once heard. I sat back at my desk and switched on the radio. Some coincidence, it was the old Don Byas version of "Laura." I lay back in my ultra-cool-makes-all-the-losers-jealous-bubble-swivel chair and turned my back to Laura. "They're playing your song, Laura." I said to her. Damn, it had such a great dramatic effect, you should have seen it! I wish I coulda seen the look on Laura's face. I was all "swish!" and.hey, what was my point again? Oh yeah, I looked cool.

"AHEM!" She scoffed. "Do you treat all your customers this way? Like 3rd class mail?" She said haughtily. "Only the 3rd-class-males. 1st-class-females are a different matter entirely, I assure you, Miss Davis." I flirted with a subtle smirk. Then, after realising how cheesy that sounded, and how easy this girl looked, I took out my resolution book and scribbled down "Don't flirt with the floozies." A little smile crept across her face, but then she remembered she was meant to be sad and sobbed loudly.

"Are you gonna sit their bawling all night, or do you have a case? I'm a busy guy." I said coldly. Laura sniffled a bit, then spoke up. "Yes. I need your help." She wiped some drenched eye shadow from her face. She looked like a rich girl, designer clothes and such. That was something that I should have got suspicious about, now I think about it. "Okay, there's been a murder. We need your help, Dib." She said with all the charm of Mata Hari. But I wasn't gonna be fooled that easy. "Sorry, ma'am. Love to help you, but that's really not my field." "But you have to help!" She pleaded. Crocodile tears welled up in her deep green eyes.

But luckily my paranoia kicked in just before I could say anything brash. Instead I'd say something dramatic, that'd leave her in tears. Hmmm, that didn't sound at all like me. But still, I had no control over the two stupid authors of this fic. So I decided just to play along. "Why?" I said bluntly. Well, that was bloody articulate, wasn't it. "Well, what sort of a fic would it make if you just sat around here?" She retorted. Although it's not really that funny to make stupid remarks like that, she had a point. I bet by now I've already lost half the audience.what'd it be like in 4 chapters time? Despite all good logic, I decided to hear her out.

"Okay, fine, fine. What happened?" I said, although not very enthusiastically. She cast aside her crying facade and walked up to my desk. "The murder of a well-known Hispanic goth cartoonist who shall remain nameless." "Why? Wouldn't it be more help if we actually knew who was murdered?" I asked. Far from her sobbing persona I'd seen just a few minutes ago, an evil Cheshire-Cat-esque grin creeped across her chalk-white face. "Now, wouldn't you like to know..." She purred, but chillingly, sounding more and more like some deranged feline by the second. "Well, yeah, kinda." I said. Her femme fatale antics weren't gonna get the better of me. "Oh, no reason. Just call it a plot device to keep it clear." She said, regressing back to her normal self.

"Well, what else do we know?" I went on. "It happened sometime between 1:30 and 2:30 am," She grabbed a piece of paper and jotted down a poorly-drawn map. "He stopped at the Nighthawk cafe around midnight, and then it's anyone's guess what happened then. That's all I know." She said. I took out my notebook and wrote all this down. "Call me if you find out anything, okay?" said Laura. "Uh-huh...thanks for all that. I'll see what I can do." I said reassuringly. "Don't worry, Laura, everything'll be OK." "Yeah, thanks. Bye..." She said as she stepped out the door. "I know it will."

Just as she'd left, I realised that I'd done something very stupid that'd I regret for a long time after this. I forgot to ask for any money... ~~~~~~~ACK!THESQUIGGLIESAREAFTERMYBLOOD!~~~~~~~~~

Alice says: Hi! Alice here, co-author of this pointless fic of doom and other stuff. Since Alice got to do the opening announcements, I get to finish everything off 'til next chapter. Yay. I'd just like to apologise if you didn't like this, but we simply two little baby smeets. Lucy's 10 but I'm only 9...HOW SMEETY WE ARE! Sorry for spelling/grammar mistakes, this clunky old piece-of-junk computer doesn't have a spellchecker. But on a lighter note, in our next chapter, Dib tries to track down his archenemy- since-forever-and-a-day, Zim. But then something happens and um, I don't know. We'll take care of that if/when it happens.

Her Royal Hipness, Alice