Moment's Notice
Chapter 2
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lucy says: If you read this fanfic, you may think the characters are a little OOC, but they're not, we just wrote like that. NOW, in this thrilling installment, Dib meets up with an old enemy, namely the guy at the Deli. And he sees Zim, too. Now, I warn you in advance of personal in- jokes, slight innuendo, author cameos, drug references and maybe a little out-of-character-osity...That is SO a word! Now, I'm off to find something to protest, so you just sit back and enjoy.
Yours Truly, but not by choice, Lucy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I awoke the next morning asleep at my desk, I'd drooled all my papers in my sleep. Damn. I checked the clock. It was 8:00 am. I decided to drop in at Generica's deli for breakfast and then get to work on the case. I grabbed my coat from the coat rack. I mean my regular trenchcoat, of course. I wouldn't be seen dead in one of those stupid stereotype detective coats that you were probably picturing me in. I did, however, wear my Sherlock Holmes hat. ...What? Chicks dig Sherlock Holmes hats, don't they?
It was a long walk to Generica's, but it certainly wasn't lonely. There were tons of sweaty angry people pushing and ramming each other into the oncoming traffic the way New Yorkers do. That's the weird thing about New York; so few people have cars but there's always traffic you can push people into. About the only way to avoid being slaughtered by cabs and buses is to shove anyone and everyone else into the road, women and children too. It seems cruel, but it's all just natural selection, really.
Once I finally got there, I was greeted by the stench and sounds of the cows being slaughtered out back. One of the many alluring aromas of the neighborhood. I walked up to the counter. Some morbidly obese, androgynous looking...creature appeared before me. "Yah, Yah, whaddya want?" She/He/It grunted. "Toast and dim sums." I replied, slightly freaked out by that...thing. "Well you can't always get your own way," it replied. "MEAT!!!" It shouted and threw a huge slab of pork at me with enough force to knock me down. It hurt. "Hey, isn't this place kosher?" I asked, trying to wipe off some of the meat from my clothes. "No. Now go away." It said. I followed orders, since I wasn't really that hungry anyway and I didn't really want to spend anymore time here than necessary.
I decided to see Laura again to question her on the details of the murder. She'd written her address down, so that explains the plot hole of how I knew where she lived. When I got to her apartment, it wasn't the slightest like what I'd expected. It was a messy hovel with pizza boxes strewn about the floor, roaches crawling about the walls and quarrelling siblings. "Hello, Dib..." She purred in a cotton-candy voice, trying to sound sexy but failing miserably. "Hi, Laura. I'd like to ask you some questions about the murder." I said. "Oh, please do. Come in." She beckoned, and swept aside some garbage on the floor with her foot. I followed her, trying hard not step on anything or breathe in.
After an arduous journey to find a place to sit down, I took out my notebook and starting asking questions. "OK, Laura, what do you know?" I began abruptly. "I told you everything last night." She replied sweetly, trying to sound naive and childish, you know, acting her age and not her bust size. "No, you didn't." I went on. "Spill your guts, Laura. You're withholding information, I know it, I can tell." "OK, just a sec, I'll go get the meat cleaver." She joked. That was SO not funny it was sad. "Seriously, Laura, what do you know?" I said.
"Well...there was one thing I didn't mention..." Laura began. "The victim apparently had a big fight with this one kid the day before." "Okay, who?" I said calmly. "I forget his name, um, what was it? Tim? Sim? I can't remember..." "ZIM!" I exclaimed loudly. "I KNEW he had to be involved somehow! Okay, what do you know about Zim?" "He's the sickly looking guy, right?" Laura inquired. "Yeah." I replied. "'Cept for the part about him being a guy." Laura shifted uncomfortably in her seat. ".That so?" She murmured, blushing heavily. "Sure explains an awful lot." "No!" I exclaimed, realising Laura had taken that the wrong way entirely. "That's not what I mean. He's an alien in disguise, see?" Laura sighed in relief, than realised that didn't make her feel any better. "But what do you know about him, Laura?" I said in an attempt to change the subject. "He's working the graveyard shift at Eddie's Hopper." "Where's that?" Admittedly, I don't know my way around here very well. I've only been here since this fic started, which is only a chapter. "Corner of Abbey and Penny. You can't miss it." She replied. "Uh-huh," I said while scribbling all this down in my notebook. "Thanks. I'll call if anything comes up." I got up and left, tip-toeing around all the junk of the floor. ***
I decided to wait 'til night time to investigate for several reasons; first being Zim worked the graveyard shift, secondly my insomnia and third being the great dramatic effect night has upon the psyche of gullible readers. It was about midnight when I got there. Despite the fact that it's New York on another rainy summer night, it was cold and there was no-one in sight but several people in glassed-in diner, all bearing a striking resemblance to a painting. This looked like the place.
I went inside. It was quiet.too quiet. I scanned the room and found Zim standing behind the counter, glaring at a couple at the table coldly. "Zim! I knew I'd find you here!" I shouted. "Shhh!" The red-haired woman scorned. "You wrecked the whole sombre atmosphere." "Come on, Martha," The man with her beckoned as they left. "Kids today, I swear." The other guy at the table just collapsed into a drunken stupor.
"Ah, we meet again, Dib-monkey." Zim said bitterly. "Don't play dumb, Zim, I know you're behind the murder." I said abruptly. "What are you ranting on about now, Dib-worm? I know not of this murder." He said. "Oh, re-e-ally?" I said sceptically. I can always tell when Zim is hiding something, it's like some 5th sense I've got. But this time, he scanned clear. I realised that I'd jumped to conclusions again. Going up to someone and stabbing them lacked Zim's subtlety and tact. Wait, Zim with subtlety and tact? Scratch that, it lacked Zim's, um, Zim-ness. "Yes, re-e-ally..." He sneered back. "Lay off the acid." I swear, if I hear one more line about me being on acid I think I am going scream. First few times it was cute, but now it's just dumb. No, really, I AM SICK OF IT, DAMMIT! I stormed out of the diner in disgust.
***
Back in my office the next day, I pondered over all the possible subjects for the case. The results were as follows; Tak the Ripper Nny Happy Noodle Boy Lucinda Starkey Gir Zim (Still don't trust him) That Monkey...
Now it's only a matter of time before the killer strikes again, I guess. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~DUN DUN DUNNN!! TO BE CONTINUED!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alice says: Hmm...that sounds like a Velvet Underground song, doesn't it? Wait, what does that have to do with anything? Me and the Velvet Underground and fri-e-ends... Oh well. So, in the next chapter, Dib meets up with Tak, but as a totally unbiased and very nice author, I will refrain from dropping a anvil on her head. Or having her eaten up by many little piglets trained to snap and oink a lot. Or.. (Monty Python crowd: GET ON WITH IT!!) Fine, don't get stingy. Well, if you didn't already know, Invader Zim is owned by Jhonen Vasquez and all the other corporate sellouts. But if you didn't know that, lay off the acid.
-Her Royal Hipness, Alice.
Chapter 2
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lucy says: If you read this fanfic, you may think the characters are a little OOC, but they're not, we just wrote like that. NOW, in this thrilling installment, Dib meets up with an old enemy, namely the guy at the Deli. And he sees Zim, too. Now, I warn you in advance of personal in- jokes, slight innuendo, author cameos, drug references and maybe a little out-of-character-osity...That is SO a word! Now, I'm off to find something to protest, so you just sit back and enjoy.
Yours Truly, but not by choice, Lucy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I awoke the next morning asleep at my desk, I'd drooled all my papers in my sleep. Damn. I checked the clock. It was 8:00 am. I decided to drop in at Generica's deli for breakfast and then get to work on the case. I grabbed my coat from the coat rack. I mean my regular trenchcoat, of course. I wouldn't be seen dead in one of those stupid stereotype detective coats that you were probably picturing me in. I did, however, wear my Sherlock Holmes hat. ...What? Chicks dig Sherlock Holmes hats, don't they?
It was a long walk to Generica's, but it certainly wasn't lonely. There were tons of sweaty angry people pushing and ramming each other into the oncoming traffic the way New Yorkers do. That's the weird thing about New York; so few people have cars but there's always traffic you can push people into. About the only way to avoid being slaughtered by cabs and buses is to shove anyone and everyone else into the road, women and children too. It seems cruel, but it's all just natural selection, really.
Once I finally got there, I was greeted by the stench and sounds of the cows being slaughtered out back. One of the many alluring aromas of the neighborhood. I walked up to the counter. Some morbidly obese, androgynous looking...creature appeared before me. "Yah, Yah, whaddya want?" She/He/It grunted. "Toast and dim sums." I replied, slightly freaked out by that...thing. "Well you can't always get your own way," it replied. "MEAT!!!" It shouted and threw a huge slab of pork at me with enough force to knock me down. It hurt. "Hey, isn't this place kosher?" I asked, trying to wipe off some of the meat from my clothes. "No. Now go away." It said. I followed orders, since I wasn't really that hungry anyway and I didn't really want to spend anymore time here than necessary.
I decided to see Laura again to question her on the details of the murder. She'd written her address down, so that explains the plot hole of how I knew where she lived. When I got to her apartment, it wasn't the slightest like what I'd expected. It was a messy hovel with pizza boxes strewn about the floor, roaches crawling about the walls and quarrelling siblings. "Hello, Dib..." She purred in a cotton-candy voice, trying to sound sexy but failing miserably. "Hi, Laura. I'd like to ask you some questions about the murder." I said. "Oh, please do. Come in." She beckoned, and swept aside some garbage on the floor with her foot. I followed her, trying hard not step on anything or breathe in.
After an arduous journey to find a place to sit down, I took out my notebook and starting asking questions. "OK, Laura, what do you know?" I began abruptly. "I told you everything last night." She replied sweetly, trying to sound naive and childish, you know, acting her age and not her bust size. "No, you didn't." I went on. "Spill your guts, Laura. You're withholding information, I know it, I can tell." "OK, just a sec, I'll go get the meat cleaver." She joked. That was SO not funny it was sad. "Seriously, Laura, what do you know?" I said.
"Well...there was one thing I didn't mention..." Laura began. "The victim apparently had a big fight with this one kid the day before." "Okay, who?" I said calmly. "I forget his name, um, what was it? Tim? Sim? I can't remember..." "ZIM!" I exclaimed loudly. "I KNEW he had to be involved somehow! Okay, what do you know about Zim?" "He's the sickly looking guy, right?" Laura inquired. "Yeah." I replied. "'Cept for the part about him being a guy." Laura shifted uncomfortably in her seat. ".That so?" She murmured, blushing heavily. "Sure explains an awful lot." "No!" I exclaimed, realising Laura had taken that the wrong way entirely. "That's not what I mean. He's an alien in disguise, see?" Laura sighed in relief, than realised that didn't make her feel any better. "But what do you know about him, Laura?" I said in an attempt to change the subject. "He's working the graveyard shift at Eddie's Hopper." "Where's that?" Admittedly, I don't know my way around here very well. I've only been here since this fic started, which is only a chapter. "Corner of Abbey and Penny. You can't miss it." She replied. "Uh-huh," I said while scribbling all this down in my notebook. "Thanks. I'll call if anything comes up." I got up and left, tip-toeing around all the junk of the floor. ***
I decided to wait 'til night time to investigate for several reasons; first being Zim worked the graveyard shift, secondly my insomnia and third being the great dramatic effect night has upon the psyche of gullible readers. It was about midnight when I got there. Despite the fact that it's New York on another rainy summer night, it was cold and there was no-one in sight but several people in glassed-in diner, all bearing a striking resemblance to a painting. This looked like the place.
I went inside. It was quiet.too quiet. I scanned the room and found Zim standing behind the counter, glaring at a couple at the table coldly. "Zim! I knew I'd find you here!" I shouted. "Shhh!" The red-haired woman scorned. "You wrecked the whole sombre atmosphere." "Come on, Martha," The man with her beckoned as they left. "Kids today, I swear." The other guy at the table just collapsed into a drunken stupor.
"Ah, we meet again, Dib-monkey." Zim said bitterly. "Don't play dumb, Zim, I know you're behind the murder." I said abruptly. "What are you ranting on about now, Dib-worm? I know not of this murder." He said. "Oh, re-e-ally?" I said sceptically. I can always tell when Zim is hiding something, it's like some 5th sense I've got. But this time, he scanned clear. I realised that I'd jumped to conclusions again. Going up to someone and stabbing them lacked Zim's subtlety and tact. Wait, Zim with subtlety and tact? Scratch that, it lacked Zim's, um, Zim-ness. "Yes, re-e-ally..." He sneered back. "Lay off the acid." I swear, if I hear one more line about me being on acid I think I am going scream. First few times it was cute, but now it's just dumb. No, really, I AM SICK OF IT, DAMMIT! I stormed out of the diner in disgust.
***
Back in my office the next day, I pondered over all the possible subjects for the case. The results were as follows; Tak the Ripper Nny Happy Noodle Boy Lucinda Starkey Gir Zim (Still don't trust him) That Monkey...
Now it's only a matter of time before the killer strikes again, I guess. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~DUN DUN DUNNN!! TO BE CONTINUED!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alice says: Hmm...that sounds like a Velvet Underground song, doesn't it? Wait, what does that have to do with anything? Me and the Velvet Underground and fri-e-ends... Oh well. So, in the next chapter, Dib meets up with Tak, but as a totally unbiased and very nice author, I will refrain from dropping a anvil on her head. Or having her eaten up by many little piglets trained to snap and oink a lot. Or.. (Monty Python crowd: GET ON WITH IT!!) Fine, don't get stingy. Well, if you didn't already know, Invader Zim is owned by Jhonen Vasquez and all the other corporate sellouts. But if you didn't know that, lay off the acid.
-Her Royal Hipness, Alice.
