Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop, or any of the characters, or the WWE, or anything else. And also, I'm 15, what would I be doing with a beer? It was the singer of the song that wanted a beer… Steve Conte something. I think he's the Steve from Blue's Clues… I mean, they both sing and stuff. If I'm wrong, well… uh… *hides*

Warning: For the purpose of comedy, most of the characters are OOC. Just warning you now.

---

"The Beautiful People" played as a camera panned into a huge wrestling ring.

"And we're here at the Big Wrestling Arena on Mars for another great episode of PFFA Smackdown!" Michael Cole IV yelled.

"Tonight, Vicious is coming down to the ring to make a huge announcement concerning the future of the Syndicate!" Tazz IV said. "Let's watch!"

"Medal" played as Vicious walked down to the ring.

"You suck! You suck! You suck!" the crowd chanted.

"Tonight, I am here to make a new announcement," Vicious said. "Tonight, the Syndicate will be reborn, and there will be a new world order, with me as the leader!"

"What?" the crowd chanted.

"That's right," Vicious said. "The Syndicate is mine! It's true, it's true!"

Suddenly, Eric Bischoff's theme played over the loudspeakers as Eric Bischoff IV, Eric Bischoff's great grandson, walked into the ring.

"Vicious," Bischoff IV said. "You say you're the new leader of the syndicate?"

"That's right," Vicious said. "And no one will interfere with me."

"That's all fine and dandy, but I've got news for you," Bischoff IV said.


"And what might that be?" Vicious asked.

"Vicious, you've been the leader of the Syndicate for about… three minutes too long," Bischoff IV said.

"Three minutes?" Vicious said. "What are you talking about?"

Two big, fat, Samoan men leaped into the ring.

"Get him, Jamal and Rosey!" Bischoff IV yelled.

Jamal IV leaped up and kicked Vicious in the face, knocking him to the ground.


"Argh!" Vicious yelled. Rosey IV climbed onto the turnbuckle and leapt upon Vicious, smashing him against the canvas. Jamal IV and Rosey IV each grabbed one of Vicious' arms.


"Well well, Vicious," Bischoff IV said, "looks like I knocked you out!"

"You'd better kill me now," Vicious said.

"Vicious, you're breaking kayfabe," Bischoff IV whispered. "You're supposed to say-"

"This isn't a work, Bischoff," Vicious said. "I'm warning you."

"Uh… take him away!" Bischoff IV said.

Eric Bischoff IV laughed as Rosey IV and Jamal IV took Vicious backstage.

---

Session 25: The Real Spork Blues (Part 1)

---

Meanwhile, at the Big Fat Smelly Ugly Loser Bar on Mars…

"I hate Faye and Ed," Spike said. "Well, Faye's kind of hot, but I hate her too."

"Me too," Jet said. "I hate them. Faye and Ed suck."

"Yup," Spike said.


"Heh heh," Jet laughed.

Suddenly, two huge Samoan men burst into the bar.

"Uh oh," Spike said. "It's the Island Boys! They work for the Syndicate! Jet? Jet?"

"Argh!" Jet yelled as Rosey IV sat on his leg, breaking it.


"Uh oh," Spike said. "We're in trouble…"

Just then, a man with a chair leapt onto Rosey IV and smacked him in the head with a chair. Rosey IV fell to the floor, KOed.


"Need help?" the man asked.


"Lin?" Spike said.


"Idiot, I'm Shin!" Shin said. He turned to face Jamal IV.

"Rarr!" Jamal IV yelled, running at Shin.

"Take this!" Shin yelled, spinning around and kicking Jamal IV in the head. Jamal IV fell on top of Rosey IV, knocked out.


"Whoa," Spike said. "You got him.


"Duh," Shin said. "You might want to help your friend there. Oh, by the way, your old girlfriend Julia's alive."

Shin ran out of the bar.

"Julia?" Spike said.


"Spike, my freaking leg hurts!" Jet wailed, crying like a baby. "Kiss it!"

---

At the doctor…

"That's a nasty fracture," the doctor said. "Were you rough-housing?"

"No," Jet said.


"Were you jumping on the bed and you fell off?" the doctor asked.


"Nooo!" Jet wailed. "Make it stop hurting!"


Spike took out his gun and shot Jet in the leg.


"AAAH!" Jet screamed. "Why would you do that?"

"It usually fixes things when I shoot them," Spike said.

"It doesn't work on legs!" Jet yelled.

"Julia…" Spike sighed.

*flashback*

"I'm not jobbing to Vicious," Spike said. "I'm gonna walk out on the SSWWE."

"Why?" Julia asked. "Aren't you and Vicious friends? Eleven-time tag team champs?"

"Yeah, but I'm supposed to be the SSWWE champ, not Vicious," Spike said. "He's the upstart winner of Rough Enough, and they're pushing him to the moon."

"The fans love Vicious," Julia said.

"And you do too," Spike said. "I can sense it in your voice."

"Spike, that's just a storyline," Julia said.

"Everything is a work to me," Spike said.

*Julia's flashback*

"ARGH!" Vicious yelled. "Spike cost me my chance to be SSWWE champ… since Spike didn't job, they had me feud with Austin! Do you know how over he is?"

"You'll win the title eventually," Julia said.

"I hate Spike," Vicious said. "Julia, I want Spike dead! And you're going to do it!"

"Me?" Julia asked. "But why?"

"I'm too lazy," Vicious said. "So, you're going to kill Spike. Or you will DIE!"

---

Meanwhile, at a spaceport on Mars…


"This sucks," Faye said. "Lousy security checks. I've been waiting six hours…"

"I've been waiting six hours too," said an old woman who had been sitting next to Faye. "My son hasn't come back yet."

"Who is he?" Faye asked.


"He's the guy from Bigshot," the woman said.

"Didn't you hear? The blonde chick went crazy and killed him!" Faye said.

"Oh," the woman said. "Well, no matter then. I had a 10,000,000-wulong life insurance policy on him anyway."

"You lucky, lucky woman," Faye said. Suddenly, her cell phone rang. She took it out. It was Spike on the other line.

"Hey," Spike said. "You gotta come back."

"Why?" Faye asked.

"I need your help," Spike said. "Julia's alive."

"Really?" Faye said. "Who's that?"

"My old girlfriend," Spike said. "Anyway, you gotta come back."

"Why would I come back if your girlfriend is alive?" Faye asked.


"You coming, or not?" Spike asked.


"I've got nothing better to do," Faye said. "Okay, I'm coming back."

Faye put the phone away.

"Faye-Faye, you're finally needed for something besides tasteless sex appeal," Faye said. "Alrighty then!"

Suddenly, a beautiful blonde-haired woman ran past Faye.

"Look out!" the woman yelled. "Austin's got a chair!"

Stone Cold Steve Austin IV was chasing Julia.


"Not you again," Faye said.


"I came from the SSWWE to open a can on that woman!" Austin IV yelled. "What do you want?"

"I want your house first," Faye said. "It belonged to me."

"What?" Austin said.


"I've had enough of-" Faye said before Austin cut her off with another "What?"

"What? What? What?" Austin said. He grabbed Faye and gave her the Stone Cold Stunner. "And that's the bottom line, because-"

The woman shot Stone Cold Steve Austin IV through the head.


"Thanks," Faye said, standing up and rubbing her head. "By the way, my name is Faye. What's yours?"

A dramatic ten-minute pause.

"Julia," the woman said.

"Like, oh my gawd!" Faye said in an amazed valley-girl tone of voice. "You're like, really Julia? Spike's dead girlfriend? Totally cool!"

"Uh yeah," Julia said. "Except I'm not dead. Anyway, tell Spike I'm going to meet him at a graveyard."

"Which one?" Faye asked.

"He'll just have to get lucky," Julia said, turning to walk away.


"Wait," Faye said. "So… what's Spike really like?"

Julia smiled.


"Spike's the nicest, coolest, strongest, toughest, baddest, smartest, greatest, most loyal, truthful, most incredible man in the entire universe," Julia said.


"Really?" Faye said. "That's all I needed. I LOVE SPIKE SPIEGEL!"

No facefault.


"I love him too," Julia said.

"Yeah, well, I love him more," Faye said. "So there."

---

BACK ABOARD THE BEBOP…

"Does this hurt?" Spike said, whacking Jet on the leg.


"Argh!" Jet yelled. "My reflexes are fine Spike, but-"

"This?" Spike asked, kicking Jet in the knee.

"Son of a- yes, it hurts!" Jet yelled.

"Oh," Spike said. "Just wondering."

"Spike, I have a question," Jet said.


"Yeah?" Spike said. "What is it?"

"You know, it's pretty sad about Julia and all, but why can't you just let it go?" Jet asked. "I understand you loved her very, very, very much, and that it was very sad when she disappeared, but why can't you just move on to another woman?"

"You want to know why, Jet?" Spike asked.

"Yes," Jet said.


"You really want to know?" Spike asked.


"YES!" Jet yelled.

"I'll tell you," Spike said. "Because I'm a mean, thick-headed, stuck-up moronic jerk who just doesn't know the meaning of 'get over it'. You happy now?"

"Very," Jet said.

Faye ran into the main room of the Bebop.

"Spike! I have good news, and I have great news!" Faye announced.

"Good news first," Spike said.


"Alright," Faye said. "Your stupid dead girlfriend Julia is back. She wants to meet you at the haunted cemetary."

"Julia?" Spike said, going into a trance. "Julia…"

Spike ran off.

"Didn't you want to hear the great news, Spike-darling?" Faye asked. "Didn't you?"

Suddenly, the Bebop's phone rang. Jet picked it up.


"Hello?" Jet said. "Nope, wrong number."

Jet hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" Faye asked.

"It's from Bob Vicioustriedtotakeoverthesyndicateandnowthesyndicateisgoingaftereveryoneassociatedwithviciousandeveryoneassociatedwitheveryoneassociatedwithviciousandthatmeansthatthebebopwillsoonbeattackedbythesyndicate," Jet said. "He had a wrong number. Either that, or he didn't have enough change to make a phone call."

"I see," Faye said. Spike walked back into the room.

"Guys, the Syndicate wants to kill us," Spike said. "It's all Vicious' fault."

Spike hopped into the Swordfish and flew out of the Bebop.

"Wait!" Faye yelled. "Don't you want to hear the great news?"

Spike had left.

"Grrr…" Faye growled, hopping into the Redtail. "I swear, I love that man, but sometimes stuff just goes in one ear and out the other."

The Redtail flew out of the Bebop, following the Swordfish.

---

Meanwhile, in the wrestling ring, Vicious was being held in place by Kevin Nash IV and Big Show IV.

"Nobody betrays the Syndicate, brother!" Hulk Hogan (Hulk never dies, brother! It's the original article!) said, holding a can of spraypaint.

"Hey yo," Scott Hall IV said. "I'm gonna spray you!"

Scott Hall IV began to laugh. Vicious just stood there, frowning.

---

Outside the Bebop…

"They sent the Hardy Boyz after us," Spike said. "Let's shoot 'em down, Faye!"

"But Spike," Faye said. "Don't you want to hear the great news?"

Spike was too busy dogfighting with Jeff Hardy IV.

"Looks like this babe needs a Mattitude adjustment!" Matt Hardy IV said, chasing after Faye in his space fighter.

"Nobody messes with Faye Valentine!" Faye said, shooting at the elder Hardy.

---

"So, Vicious, how does it feel to be embarrassed?" Eric Bischoff IV asked.

"You should have killed me," Vicious said.

"Syndicate 4 life, brother!" Hulk Hogan said, pointing the spray paint at Vicious.

Suddenly, a crowing noise began to sound throughout the arena as Raven's intro played on the Titantron.


"What's Raven IV doing here?" Tazz IV yelled.

"I'm saving Vicious, that's what!" Raven IV said, shooting Hall, Show, and Nash dead.

"Hey!" Hulk Hogan said. "You're breaking kayfabe, brother!"

Hulk Hogan began "hulking up". He was halted almost immediately by Vicious' katana going through his chest.

"What are you doing?" Bischoff IV yelled.

---

Meanwhile, Spike had just shot Jeff Hardy IV out of the sky.

"Jeff!" Matt Hardy IV yelled. "Alright, somebody needs a Mattitude adjust-"

"Take your Mattitude and shove it!" Faye yelled, shooting Matt Hardy IV out of the sky. "Spike!"

"Sorry, Faye, I'm going to meet Julia," Spike said. "Farewell."

Spike flew toward Mars.


"Spike!" Faye yelled. "I love you!"

Spike didn't hear her.


"Crap!" Faye yelled.

---

Back in the ring…

"What are you going to do?" Bischoff IV yelled.


"You will cry tears of scarlet," Vicious said, slashing his katana across Bischoff's eyes. Blood spurted from Bischoff's eye sockets.

"ARGH!" Bischoff IV yelled, running around and screaming. "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THIS HURTS???"

Eric Bischoff stumbled out of the ring and fell to the ground.


"He's dead," Vicious said.

"NO I'M NOT!" Bischoff IV yelled. "MY FREAKING EYES!"

After about fifteen minutes of screaming, Bischoff IV died.

"Wow," Raven IV yelled. "That's a really crappy way to go."

"Yeah, I spent a while thinking that one up," Vicious said. He grabbed a mic and held it to his mouth. "As of now, I rule the Syndicate!"

The crowd was silent for a few seconds. Then, they began to chant "you suck" repeatedly.

"I get no respect," Vicious said.


"If you wanted respect, you should have been a face," Raven IV said.

"What do you know?" Vicious yelled.

---

Meanwhile, in the haunted graveyard…


"Julia?" Spike yelled. "You here?"

A gun was pointed at Spike's head.

"I'm here," Julia said.

"What's with the gun?" Spike asked.

"This is supposed to be a cliffhanger, numbnuts," Julia said.

"Oh," Spike said.

To be continued…

---

Spike: I… love… acting really tough!

Jet: Seeing Faye in handcuffs.

Faye: Perv!

Jet: Flying around space…

Ed: With the twins!

Spike: Twins?

Vicious: I… LOVE… slashing Spike across the chest!

Jet: Seeing Faye's luscious breasts!

Faye: JET!


Jet: Sorry…


Faye: Kissing Spike on the lips!

Jet: I wish Faye had a twin.

All: AND I… LOVE YOU TOO!


Spike, Faye, Jet, and Ed: HERE'S TO BEBOP!

Ry Senkari: Next episode: "The Real Spork Blues (Part 2)"! It's been a great ride! I love you all!

Spike: Who the heck are you?