Authors Notes:
This is just a silly story I thought up whilst reading some of the Mary-Sues on here...grrrr! As you can tell, I am not a big fan of Mary Sues. I'm sure I'll get flamed for this, but what the hell!! =^)

Disclaimer:
I do not own any of the characters in this story...especially Mary Sue!!

The Death of Mary Sue

Once there was a beautiful young girl named Mary Sue who decided, one day, to visit Lothlorien and meet the Elves. So, off she went on her journey, travelling for days without rest before finally reaching the Golden Wood.
At the edge of Lorien, Mary Sue was abruptly greeted by a group of arrogant and snobbish Elves, led, of course, by Haldir, who was joined by his brothers, Rumil and Orophin.
*What business do you have, invading our story?* Haldir demanded, his hand upon the hilt of his gilded blade.
*Your presence here is not welcome...leave at once!*

Mary Sue, though astounded by the beauty of this wonderous place, was saddened to be greeted in such a way and she turned away from the three guards and started back in the direction she came from, but as she entered the clearing she spotted a white rabbit scurrying down a mysterious path and decided to follow and see where he was going. The rabbit led her further away from Lothlorien and into the darkness, faster and faster she ran until, blinded, she stumbled over a tree root and fell headlong into a monsterous pit. Down, down, down Mary Sue went, tumbling and turning, until landing with a *thud* at the bottom of the pit. Winded, she lay, crying on the dusty floor, until suddenly, laughter in the distance caught her attention and her curiousity led her down a winding tunnel, alit with flickering candles, to the source of the merriment.
At the end of the tunnel was a room, and in the room was a long table, and sitting around the table were a group
of very odd looking characters all drinking wine from garbage pails and playing a strange version of gin rummy.
When Mary Sue pulled up a chair to join the game, she was greeted in much the same manner as by the Elves.
A wee little man with very foul breath named Rumplestiltskin approached her and, pointing a crooked finger in her face, he said in a gruff voice, *No Room! It is not nice to join a story uninvited!* And Mary Sue saddly turned to leave. Suddenly there was a loud noise like a clap of thunder and two winged monkeys appeared in a cloud of black smoke. The monkeys swept Mary Sue off her feet and flew away with her to the castle of a wicked witch who locked her in a cage and kept her prisoner for many days while plying her with delicious foods of all sort, fattening her for the kill.
Then the day came, that the wicked witch decided Mary Sue was fat enough to be roasted for her dinner.
The wicked witch unlocked the cage to retrieve her prisoner, but Mary Sue bashed the witch's head with the heel of her shoe and went screaming off into the forest. Further and further she ran, deeper and deeper into the dark, frightning wood until she tripped on ANOTHER damn root, and once again found herself whirling and twirling through time and space.
When finally she landed, she realized she was no longer in the forest, but in the comfort of her own bedroom. All of a sudden the door to her room burst open and her husband walked in, brandishing a baseball bat.
* Where the bloody hell have you been? You smell liquored up!* As he came at her, swinging the bat wildly, Mary Sue jumped to her feet and ran out of the house and into the street...right into the path of an oncomming carriage, killing her instantly.
As the carriage made its way into the distance, Pippin turned to Merry with confusion and asked, *Do you remember a speed bump in this story?*

~The End~