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The Way You Love Me
September 24, 2001
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**Michael**
You're out there again. I can see your silhouette through the window. Your nightly ritual, sitting outside staring up at the stars. I swear, you study them more than I ever did. I know that you wonder whether I have ever truly given up on my past. Whether I am truly happy with you. It's one of the reasons why I am truly happy with you.
Only you would love me enough to want me to be happy. Sure Max and Is love me, but somehow its different with you. You didn't have to love me, the way that a brother or sister would. We weren't anything to each other. Nobody asked you to love me, nothing connected you to me.
Those first few days together, the fighting, the passion. I don't think I've ever felt anything like that before. I don't think there is anyone out there that I could feel that with. No matter what we are doing, you can always bring out all of me. You are the only one who can make me feel. I shut down around everybody else. But somehow, I couldn't do that with you.
From that first night we kissed at the Crashdown. I told you it was to calm you down. I couldn't believe I had said those words. I was the furthest from calm that I had ever been in my life. But I couldn't let you know that. I couldn't let you see how I felt.
I can't believe how lucky I am. You're the only one who makes me feel worthwhile. Makes me feel like all the crap I put up with was worth something. Because at least it led me to you. The bullshit with Hank, the anger with myself, the loneliness. I'd go through it all again if I had to. As long as I knew that in the end I would have you.
You're standing now. I want to wrap you in my arms and never let you go. I open the door to call you in.
"Maria".
I guess I startled you. I smirk because I think you should know better by now. Our nightly ritual. Yet I always catch you unawares.
"I'm coming." "I was just day dreaming."
Always the same answer, even if you word it differently every night. I know you. I know what you're thinking. You should know by now how much I love you. How happy you've made me. But I don't mind reminding you. So I lean down for a kiss.
Our lips meet and I can smell the soft scent of your shampoo. Taste the sweet spice of you lips. I hear your sigh and I hasten to reassure you that this is the only home that I long for. The only home I know that I will ever need.
"Maria, you know I love you."
I wrap my arms around you and pull you tight. I feel your warmth against my chest, your slow and shallow breathing in rhythm with my own. And as we look up at the stars together, I know that there is no other place on earth or in the heavens that I would rather be.
The Way You Love Me
September 24, 2001
**************************************************************************** **********
**Michael**
You're out there again. I can see your silhouette through the window. Your nightly ritual, sitting outside staring up at the stars. I swear, you study them more than I ever did. I know that you wonder whether I have ever truly given up on my past. Whether I am truly happy with you. It's one of the reasons why I am truly happy with you.
Only you would love me enough to want me to be happy. Sure Max and Is love me, but somehow its different with you. You didn't have to love me, the way that a brother or sister would. We weren't anything to each other. Nobody asked you to love me, nothing connected you to me.
Those first few days together, the fighting, the passion. I don't think I've ever felt anything like that before. I don't think there is anyone out there that I could feel that with. No matter what we are doing, you can always bring out all of me. You are the only one who can make me feel. I shut down around everybody else. But somehow, I couldn't do that with you.
From that first night we kissed at the Crashdown. I told you it was to calm you down. I couldn't believe I had said those words. I was the furthest from calm that I had ever been in my life. But I couldn't let you know that. I couldn't let you see how I felt.
I can't believe how lucky I am. You're the only one who makes me feel worthwhile. Makes me feel like all the crap I put up with was worth something. Because at least it led me to you. The bullshit with Hank, the anger with myself, the loneliness. I'd go through it all again if I had to. As long as I knew that in the end I would have you.
You're standing now. I want to wrap you in my arms and never let you go. I open the door to call you in.
"Maria".
I guess I startled you. I smirk because I think you should know better by now. Our nightly ritual. Yet I always catch you unawares.
"I'm coming." "I was just day dreaming."
Always the same answer, even if you word it differently every night. I know you. I know what you're thinking. You should know by now how much I love you. How happy you've made me. But I don't mind reminding you. So I lean down for a kiss.
Our lips meet and I can smell the soft scent of your shampoo. Taste the sweet spice of you lips. I hear your sigh and I hasten to reassure you that this is the only home that I long for. The only home I know that I will ever need.
"Maria, you know I love you."
I wrap my arms around you and pull you tight. I feel your warmth against my chest, your slow and shallow breathing in rhythm with my own. And as we look up at the stars together, I know that there is no other place on earth or in the heavens that I would rather be.
