Love For So Long

Disclaimers: I don't own CCS, CLAMP does..... you wouldn't be able to sue me anyways... *looks at
empty pockets*....... Also, please don't sue me for the song I use in here Yui's single from
Fushigi Yuugi... I can't help it *cries*

Author's Notes:
Oooooo. For those of you who waited for S&S, all I can say is that it's starting to show up XP.
Woohoo! It's my very first evil bad attempt at a songfic.. ^^; My first time. I never did this.
And here it is!! The Songfic chapter! *cheers*.... I've been obsessing over Yui's song (from
Fushigi Yuugi), called I Wish. It's a really pretty song o.o but I'm gonna have the english
translation, cuz I know for a fact that not everyone knows japanese (I know some japanese but not
enough to translate that song o.o;;;;; not gooood). So, Enjoy.

Syaoran is finally coming back to Japan, but his joy soon turns to depression when he meets
Sakura for the first time in over five years. But then.. someone begins stalking Sakura, and word
goes around that someone wants Sakura killed. Can Syaoran save Sakura before she herself is dead?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 3 - I Wish...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sakura sat at her window sill, watching the clouds go by. It was getting dark. She was
reflecting on what had happened in the past few hours. It all happened so fast, she couldn't
really catch what exactly was going on. What boggled her the most was the fact that Syaoran had
ignored her that day. Was it because what she told him? She didn't think that he would get so
upset over the fact. But now, she didn't know what to do. She can't just apologize to him,
because he would point out that she still doesn't love him.

Sakura thought back to the days when Syaoran would act all flustered around her. She had
always thought that it was because she mentioned Yukito, or something similar... or just maybe
something to do with Yukito. She wasn't sure.

~~Stars twinkling in the dark, even you are definitely lost.~~
~~Searching for a distant tomorrow; all of us are similar.~~

Sakura glanced again at the sky. It was really clear; really pretty. She then looked at her
cordless phone, sitting on her bed. It was next to the letter that she got today. She never read
it yet. It was probably from Kaho. She's usually the only one who writes to her now.

She got up from her spot and picked up the phone, thinking maybe she should call Jonathan. She
wasn't sure if he would be home right now, but she really wanted to talk to someone. She stared
at the phone, but after a while she decided not to call him. She picked up the letter, which had
no return adress, and took that and the phone back with her to the window sill. She sat back in
her position from before.

~~But then, trusting someone~~
~~Would mean getting hurt...~~

As soon as Sakura sat back down on her spot, her phone rang. She let it ring a couple of times
to make it seem like she was busy or something. Then she answered it.

"Sakura?"

"Yeah."

"Hi, it's Tomoyo."

Sakura sighed. She wasn't really much in the mood for talking with Tomoyo this night. She was
certain that Tomoyo would start asking questions about what happened in the party. There would be
no running away from telling Tomoyo now.

"Sakura, why exactly did you leave early today?" Tomoyo asked.

"I told you. I promised my dad I'd wash the dishes."

"Sakura. If I know you better, you wouldn't leave a party early just to do your chores.
Especially with a voice that seemed awfully hurt. You're gonna tell me the truth *now*."

Sakura frowned. She knew it. That would be Tomoyo's only purpose for calling on a night when
Sakura made it seem like she was upset over something. Sakura decided not to reply.

"Sakura?"

"I'm still here."

"...... Sakura, you're gonna have to tell me sooner or later. What's up with you and Li-kun? I
saw what happened. You left because Li-kun didn't dance with you."

A knot was formed in Sakura's throat. She didn't want to remember this day. She was
considering deeply over hanging up on her best friend, but she knew that Tomoyo isn't the type of
person to let Sakura go that easily. Sakura knew that her friend would show up at her front door
in a flash if Sakura ignored the phone.

"Why did I have to stay? I came because it was Syaoran-kun's welcome back party. But he
completely ignored me. Not only that... you started the party without me."

"Sakura, I did not start the party without you. I would've started it, but Li-kun insisted on
starting it. All I know is that something happened between you two."

No. She wasn't gonna tell Tomoyo. All Sakura was hoping was that Syaoran didn't tell Tomoyo
about that little incident last night. That would only make things worse.

"Did you tell Li-kun that you love someone else?"

Bingo. Sakura knew it. She trusted Syaoran not to tell anyone. But, after watching a lot of
romantic flicks, she kinda knew what was coming. Jealousy always got to a guy's heart first.

Tomoyo didn't bother waiting for Sakura to answer and continued to talk.

~~I wish for your love,~~
~~I wish for your love,~~
~~Why? Hey, tell me, blue stars...~~
~~I wish for your love,~~
~~Unlimited pain; how can I shake free from it?~~

"Sakura, do you really love Li-kun, or do you love someone else?"

Sakura hesitated for a moment, then finally spoke. "Of couse I love him, Tomoyo-chan. I love
Syaoran-kun as a really close friend..."

Tomoyo sighed. "Sakura, loving him as a really close friend isn't enough. I know you love him
deep inside. You just don't want to admit it. Why are you running away?"

"You got it wrong!" Sakura yelled into the mouthpiece. "I admit it, okay? I'm in love with
someone else! I'm in love with Jonathan! ... I only love Syaoran-kun as a close friend... nothing
more... he's my childhood friend, and I care for him deeply... but... only as a really close
friend..."

Sakura's rage had calmed down to a mere whisper as she spoke to Tomoyo. Sakura hated it when
Tomoyo did this to her. Tomoyo had to be so persistent. Not only that, Tomoyo always had the
power to see deeper than what the average person sees on the outside. She knew that Tomoyo was
only doing what she thought was best, but it was hurting her. She hated Tomoyo for this.

~~When they memorize love, people become weak,~~
~~Embracing a calling heart, because people dont want lonliness...~~

"Sakura, stop lying to yourself. You just weren't ready to meet Li-kun yet. You just haven't seen
him in so long."

"Shut up, Tomoyo." Sakura growled. Her voice was shaking, and small sobs could be heard from
Sakura. "Just, shut up."

"I'm only trying to help you, Sakura. You're my friend, and I don't want you to be hur--"

"SHUT UP!!"

Sakura hung up the phone, and threw it in fury towards her bed. Tears started streaming down
her cheek. She knew that Tomoyo wouldn't bother calling back. She knew that Tomoyo was on her
way to her house right now. Sakura tried to calm down a little, and took a deep breath.

"Damn him..." Sakura mumbled. "Dammit, Syaoran-kun. Why do you have to ignore me?"

She wiped away her tears and tilted her head towards the wall behind her. She didn't know why,
but the fact how Syaoran was ignoring her wasn't just hurting her. It was killing her a million
times over.

Maybe this is how he felt when she told him she loved someone else.

Someone knocked on the door. "Sakura? Are you crying? I thought I heard you throw something."

"I'm fine." Sakura blurted out to her dad, trying to make her voice sound as perfect as possible.

"Are you sure? Do you want anything?"

"No... I'm fine..."

"Alright. I'm on the computer if you need me."

"OK..."

~~Even dreams freeze at a limit,~~
~~Just like this hatred...~~

Sakura started to reflect back on what happened again. Maybe she should never have told him.
If she didn't, then things would be a lot more happier right now. But then again, Syaoran would
be making moves on her, and she wouldn't be able to be with Jonathan. It was a hard choice, but
she never bothered looking at the consequences. Now she knew what happens in this type of
situation. She always thought that things would be perfect. She had become too confident in
herself.

But still, Sakura hated Tomoyo for being persistent. She hated Jonathan for falling in love
with her. She hated Eriol who loved to make things worse. She hated her Dad for giving her
special treatment whenever she was down. She hated Syaoran for being so... so gentle and kind
after being together for a while. And most of all, she hated herself for being so stupid. She
hated herself for not thinking before she did anything. And now, things were screwed up.

~~I wanna be your love~~
~~I wanna be your love~~
~~Why? I cant kill my loneliness~~
~~I wanna be your love~~
~~With a broken heart, I cant become any stronger...~~

Sakura went back to her bed, taking the letter with her again, and fell on it face down. She
grabbed the phone and dialed a number. Jonathan's.

"Hello?" A boy answered on the other end.

"It's Sakura.." Sakura whispered in her now hoarse voice.

"Sakura? Why are you calling so late?"

"I..." Sakura started. She had no idea why she called... except for the fact that she needed to
talk with someone. But what to talk about?

"Not feeling well?" Jonathan asked.

"Well... no... not really..." Sakura sighed.

"What's wrong...?"

"I'm just confused... it's really hard to explain..."

"Then don't explain. We can talk about other things, if you want... maybe to get your mind off of
whatever's bothering you." Jonathan persuaded.

"... no thanks..." Sakura said. "Actually... I don't even know if I can talk about anything else
right now..."

"Is it something that you can't tell me?"

"Well... not really that... just... I want to talk to someone right now..."

"Don't want to be lonely?"

"Yeah..."

The two stayed silent on the phone for a while, until Sakura spoke up.

"I have to go do something..." Sakura explained.

"Are you sure you'll be okay? You won't be lonely?" Jonathan asked.

"I'm sure, for now at least... I'll call back if I feel lonely again." Sakura promised.

"We have a deal." Jonathan beamed. "I'll let you go now so you can get it overwith okay?"

"Okay..."

"Talk to you tomorrow, k? Bye."

~~I wish for your love~~
~~I wish for your love~~
~~Why? Hey, grant me, blue stars~~
~~I wish for your love~~
~~Just one thing: I want to be loved by someone...~~

Sakura hung up the phone. She didn't have to do anything. She just didn't want to talk to him
anymore. Something was really getting on her nerves. She crawled over to the stuffed animals on
her bed and fell on them. Without looking, she grabbed an anonymous doll and hugged it. Then she
looked at it. It was a grey teddy bear. One she held on to since grade six. One that someone made
especially for her. Then she thought of Syaoran.

As soon as that thought hit her mind, Sakura grabbed her phone and started dialing his number.
Tomoyo gave her his motel room number, in case they wanted to do anything. Sakura's heart skipped
many beats as the phone rang. She wanted to apologize. She wanted to talk to Syaoran again. After
six rings, he picked up the phone.

"Hello?" Syaoran answered, seeming to be half asleep.

Sakura couldn't answer. Hearing his voice again made her feel as if he wasn't ignoring her
anymore. She wanted to savour that moment, because she was afraid that as soon as she spoke, he
would start ignoring her again.

"...Hello?" Syaoran repeated.

Sakura opened her mouth, ready to talk, yet still not prepared of what she would say. But if
she didn't say something, he would hang up. She forced herself to say something.

"I... It's..... It's me..." Sakura whispered.

"Who? This isn't helping very much.. I don't know who 'me' is...." Syaoran added, who sounded
more awake now.

"Sa... Sakura..." Sakura mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Saku... ra...." Sakura firmly repeated.

"........ Hi....." was all that Syaoran could manage.

Both held the phone in their grip, both listening to the other's breathing. Both not knowing
what to say. Sakura swallowed.

"I... just..." Sakura started.

Another moment of silence was held. She could tell Syaoran was listening, because she could
still hear his breathing, and nothing else.

"Syaoran-kun... I...." Sakura tried to say again.

In this awkward position, both neither had the will of what to talk about to the other. Then a
knock was heard on Syaoran's end of the phone.

"I... I have to go." Syaoran stammered. "Someone's at the door. Bye."

"Bye..." Sakura replied.

She hung up the phone, as a tear rolled down her cheek. She continued to stare at the phone,
and she let the tears come. There was no way she could talk to him anymore. He was mad at her. He
probably wasn't going to talk to her ever again. Then she reminded herself again of Jonathan. He
said he would always be there for her. She started to wipe her tears away, but the more she
forced herself to think about Jonathan, the more she felt hurt about Syaoran, and the more the
tears came. She shook her head and wiped her remaining tears away. She wished none of this
happened. She wished that she never told Syaoran. Then she started to wish that she never met
Jonathan.

She carefully placed the phone back on her pillow, then glanced at the letter. She decided it
was about time to open it. Then, as if almost by coincidence, someone knocked on the front door
to her house. Sakura looked out her bedroom window, and saw Tomoyo. Tomoyo looked up.

"Sakura, if you're not going to let me in, I'm bringing Li-kun here to deal with the situation."

Sakura only stared at Tomoyo. Then she went out of sight, seeing that her dad got to the door
first. She could hear Tomoyo apologizing to her father for coming so late. She listened to every
sound. Every footstep that Tomoyo made as she made her way up the stairs.

This was going to be a long night.

**********

After Sakura hung up, Syaoran was starting to think that maybe he was being too hard on her.
But, it served her right, didn't it? She hurt him, really badly. Even if he ignored her, it
shouldn't matter to her anyways. She had her boyfriend already. He was history.

He scolded himself. He sounded like a fool. He couldn't even ask her why she was calling. All
he could hope is that she wasn't planning on hurting him even further. He put his hands on his
head and bent down. He had to forget about her. If he didn't, he would feel even worse.

Again, the knocking was heard on the door. Because of the latest events, Syaoran couldn't pay
attention to anything for very long. He had forgotten about the person standing outside. He
trudged his way to the door, ready to yell at whoever would come knocking at this time of night.
He grabbed the doorknob, and pulled open the door.

"Who the Hell do you think you are, coming at this time of night? It's 11:00pm!" Syaoran snapped.

"I'm sorry to disturb you so late, Li-san, but I have to talk to you about something important."
The person with dark blue hair and glasses replied.

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Like? No like? Eh, just review. XP
anyways, how was that for 3rd chapter? This may show up to be the fourth chapter, but the first
chapter is a prologue.. so... bleah. Anyways... let's hear the suspense. XP How is Sakura gonna
deal with Tomoyo now? What's in the letter? What does Eriol have to tell Syaoran? Where's the
stalker? XP Okay, I know I know. It isn't really a horror story as of now... o_x so shoot me. I'm
just an amateur, like the rest of you. So give me a chance o.x;;;
Oh yeah. How was that for a jump start on S&S? XP come on, ppls. Read the title. "My Love for
Yours." Meaning S&S. XP lol anyways.. I think I'll stop elaborating on this.
Next chapter will be out soon.
'Til next time.

~*AngelSakura*~