Love For So Long

Disclaimers: I don't own CCS, CLAMP does..... you wouldn't be able to sue me anyways... *looks at empty pockets*.......

Author's Notes:
Woooo... Chapter 5.... oi..... things are starting to get interesting, ne? We have the letter.... and Sakura's going to meet Syaoran-kun
tomorrow... and such. So, just how are things going to turn out? ..... *shrugs* Don't ask me. ^_^ wheee I'm burning lots of songs while
writing this. Fushigi Yuugi, CardCaptor Sakura, Kamikaze Kaito Jeanne..... 9_9;;; wheeeeeee music happy! ^_^;;; anyways... *koff* ahem...
let's get on with the story.

Syaoran is finally coming back to Japan, but his joy soon turns to depression when he meets Sakura for the first time in over five years. But
then.. someone begins stalking Sakura, and word goes around that someone wants Sakura killed. Can Syaoran save Sakura before she herself is
dead?

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Chapter 5 - Twinkling Eyes
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Sakura was running in the darkness. She couldn't see where she went. She could tell it was raining. She was cold, and wet, and the same
pitter-patter song repeated over and over again as the rain fell. Yet, she still couldn't see anything. It was even worse than... yes, it was
even worse than that time in the play. There was no light. But Sakura couldn't create a light this time. She sealed away all her cards now.
And it was a big mistake. She was alone. She was cold.

Footsteps were coming closer and closer... First it came slow... then faster... then faster... and then, someone grabbed her wrist. She
tried to scream, but she couldn't. The more she tried to scream, the less she could breathe. Filled with fear and panic, she tried to calm
down. No, she couldn't. Someone grabbed her wrist, and now she felt something cold... cold metal against her back. It was a strange feeling,
for her chest felt warm. Warm.... but it felt colder on her shirt. The rain obviously wasn't helping. Something else besides the rain was
soaking her shirt. It was strange, but Sakura expected something unusual to happen to her. Reluctantly, Sakura looked down, and saw...

Sakura threw her eyes shut and screamed. She screamed loud, hoping that it would scare away her stalker. After a few seconds, she started
to feel better. She stopped screaming and opened her eyes, only to find her own ceiling. Sakura was still panic stricken, and still needed to
catch her breath. She slowly sat up, and that's when her dad came stumbling into her room.

"Sakura! What is it? Are you okay?"

Sakura looked at her dad, then looked down at her shirt.

"Strange..." she mumbled.

"What's strange?"

Sakura looked up at her dad again, and realized that she shouldn't tell him about her dream. He didn't want her to worry so much.

"I thought I stained my shirt. I spilt hot tea... and..."

Sakura's father gave her a weird look. "Hot... tea...?"

Sakura nodded. "I was a ...hostess... at a restaurant... and I didn't really know what to do. It was my first time working... and... I spilt
hot tea on my shirt. It was raspberry tea... so I thought it stained my shirt. It was hot."

Sakura's father frowned. "Do you have a fever?"

Sakura shook her head. Skeptical, Sakura's dad sat on her bed and felt her forehead.

"I guess you don't... Did you eat sweets last night? Daidouji told me that you were upset over something."

Sakura shook her head again and forced a smile. "I was just angry about something. Not anymore. I'm fine now."

Sakura's dad continued to frown, and sighed. "If you say so... but just be careful, okay?" He stood up and chuckled. "I guess I was lucky in
a way that you screamed like that, because I have to go to some mandatory teacher's meeting today."

He placed his hand on Sakura's head. Sakura grinned back at him.

"If you're doing anything today, make sure you bring your keys and lock up. I might even stay at the university overnight, so I guess it
would be better if you stayed at Daidouji's tonight. I'm sure Sonomi-kun would love to have you over." he explained.

Sakura nodded enthusiastically. "I sure will!"

"Good. I'm going to go make breakfast now, so if you want to, go back to sleep. I'll be leaving in about an hour and a half from now. So, I
might be gone when you wake up. I'll leave leftovers, okay?"

"Okay.... bye, daddy!" Sakura grinned.

Sakura's dad chuckled. "See you tomorrow."

With that, Sakura hid back in her covers, hoping she won't have another nightmare.

*************************

It was still early in the morning, but when Sakura woke up, her dad already left. She wanted to leave as soon as possible to meet Syaoran
at the park. She wasn't really up to it, but she promised Tomoyo. She would never go back on a promise, especially not with her best friend.
She quickly ate, and washed the dishes. After that, she went back to her room to change.

This day seemed like any other normal day Sakura would have when her dad left for work. But, she just couldn't stop thinking about her
dream from last night. Not only that.... there was also the letter.

Things were pretty explainable. She was sure that the letter was some kind of prank, and it was just getting to her head, causing the
nightmare. She was positive that people didn't hate her. Well... maybe Syaoran was still mad at her, but that didn't mean he would hate her
enough to do this, would it? No. Syaoran isn't that kind of person. There's no way.

After hanging out in her room alone, she sighed. She walked up to her drawer, and pulled out a book. The book was red, and ligned with
gold. On the front, there was some sort of picture, that looked like a beast. Above its head, there were words that read: Book Of Clow.
Sakura placed her hand on the cover of the book, and mumbled something. A bright golden circle lit up from underneath, spinning slowly as
she continued to chant. Soon, two figures emerged from the book. One that took the shape of a small animal doll, and one that of a human.
Sakura smiled as the two figures took form.

"Sakura?" queried the small doll. "Wh... what's going on?"

Sakura then frowned. "Kero-chan... Yukito-san... I... need to talk..."

Yukito looked up at Sakura. "What about? Is there anything wrong?"

Sakura stared at Yukito, then looked at the ground. "In a way... yes..."

"Are you being troubled?" Kero asked. "Do you need to use the Sakura cards again?"

Sakura shook her head. "No... I just... needed to talk..."

Kero and Yukito exchanged glances, then looked back at Sakura. Sakura sighed and started to explain everything that has happened. She
explained how she fell in love with another boy, and how she told Syaoran. She told them how Syaoran didn't like the idea very much, and
started to ignore her. She told them how hurt she felt about it.

Speaking each word, Sakura felt better. She was happy that she could confide in these two friends. They didn't need to do anything about
it. Just listen to what she has to say, and perhaps they could make a few suggestions. She started to talk about the letter she recieved,
which was very awkward. She started complaining about how it scared her, and how she didn't know how to deal with the situation. Then she
told them about the dream.

"I see that things aren't really going your way..." Yukito said.

Sakura nodded. "I don't like this at all. I know that there are supposed to be ups and downs... but I think that this is ridiculous."

Kero thought for a moment. "Well... about the dream... it's possible that it could be from the letter you got. But, have you ever thought of
it being some sort of premonition? I don't mean to scare you or anything... but it's definitely something you still should be aware of... you
haven't lost your magic power. There isn't really any possible way except if you die."

Sakura sighed. "Yeah... I did think about that... and that's what even scares me more. I mean... if it is a premonition, it ties in with the
letter, right? I mean... what other logical explanation could there be?"

Yukito smiled. "I think what you should do is get some fresh air. Take a stroll outside and calm yourself down. I think that would probably
be the best way right now.

Sakura smiled back. "I think you're right. I have to go meet Syaoran-kun anyways..."

Kero frowned. "But will he be there? Are you up to meeting him again?"

Sakura shook her head. "No... I'm still kinda scared to face him again. Because... he's still mad at me I guess... but I'll try to talk it
out with him. Because... I really do love him as a friend, but... well, same with Jonathan, but... oh... I really don't know."

"Then getting some fresh air will probably clear your head," Kero chuckled. "I imagine that there's a lot of dust settling in that brain of
yours right now!"

"KERO!!!!" Sakura growled as Yukito smiled nervously.

"Don't you think you should seal us back up before you leave? Because of last time..."

Sakura sighed. "I know, I know. Because someone else almost found us with that aura of yours."

"This totally sucks!" Grumbled Kero. "Can't I at least have some pudding or cake before you seal us back up?"

Sakura grinned. "Okay, okay. Let's all go to the kitchen then."

**********************

Sakura dawdled on her way to the park. Even though it was still an hour ahead, Sakura didn't really have anything better to do. With each
step she took, the keys shook in the back pocket of her jeans. She looked up at the sky. There wasn't really any sun, since there were a lot
of clouds blocking the view. Some of them were pretty dark.

"Looks like it's going to rain later today..." Sakura said to herself. "I should've brought my umbrella."

She didn't bother going back, because she would just come home later anyways, and dress up. And then, she would phone Tomoyo and get the
bodyguards to pick her up if she was allowed to sleep over. But then again... walking in the rain could make one sick. Sakura grinned. That
just reminded her of the time they caught the cloud card. If she remembered correctly, she probably impressed Syaoran with her bravery of
going out into a storm while she's sick and a town to save.

The good old days of catching Clow cards.

Sakura finally arrived at the park. She sat down at the ledge of the fountain, and decided to wait for him there. As she waited, Chiharu
and Yamazaki noticed her and greeted her.

"Sakura! What are you doing here all alone?" Chiharu asked.

Sakura looked up and smiled. "Waiting."

Yamazaki pulled out a finger. "Waiting for Li-kun, or Jonathan, or..." This was followed by a hard slap on his head by Chiharu.

"Anyways... what are you waiting for? Will you be waiting long?" Chiharu sweetly asked as Yamazaki crouched below her and held his head.

"No... about half an hour more, I guess." Sakura said. "Why?"

Chiharu sat down beside Sakura, while Yamazaki tried to pull himself up.

"he's become quite a gossip lately," Chiharu whispered into Sakura's ear.

Sakura smiled nervously. "I... Is that so?"

Chiharu nodded. "Not saying that I'm not one.. but anyways... I wanted to ask you. I was walking past by your house this morning, and about
a few houses after yours, I saw this crumpled up piece of paper..."

Sakura's eyes went wide. "Wh... what??"

Chiharu held a concerned look in her eyes. "Sakura... what's going on?"

Sakura felt a knot in her throat. "Someone sent it to me yesterday... I don't know from who..."

Chiharu sighed. "This person must really hate you, Sakura... it was even written in blood."

Yamazaki finally sat himself on the ledge of the fountain beside Chiharu. "It's very traditional for a stalker to write letters in blood. I'm
surprised that someone would even want to kill you this bad, and become obsessed with it."

Sakura shook her head. "I think it's just a prank. I can't imagine anyone who would want to kill me, since I didn't really do anything to
hurt anyone..."

Chiharu sighed. "You don't get it, Sakura. A lot of people envy you. You're awsome at sports, and you're really good at cooking. Not only
that, you have quite a few guys trying to chase your tail around. I mean... this person is probably female from what I can say, because
these are all aspects that could make a girl jealous. I mean, you have the looks and skill, and your personality is so... so... 'loving'..."

Sakura frowned.

Yamazaki glared at Chiharu. "You're scaring her even more, Chiharu. This is an important matter, and I think we should focus more on Sakura's
safety than who the stalker is."

Sakura smiled nervously. "You're all acting as if there really is someone stalking me."

Chiharu and Yamazaki turned to Sakura and spoke in unison. "Even though, you still have to be careful!"

Soon, the couple got up as Yamazaki looked at his watch. "We really should go now, Sakura, but you really should try to avoid being alone,
and you should be aware of what's going on around you."

Chiharu nodded. "Sakura, we're your friends, so we want to ensure your safety. We'll be behind you all the way!"

Sakura smiled and watch the two leave. Soon, she was alone again. Now with herself, she was left to think about what has been going on
lately. It just happened too quickly. A couple of days ago, she had been heartbroken as Syaoran came back from Hong Kong. Now, someone was
stalking her. Was this the consequence of hurting someone who loves you? Was this the consequence of denying yourself? Did she really have to
face all this pain coming at her? Sakura's throat started to feel sore and felt like crying. This really wasn't the type of life she wanted.
If she could've, she would've gone back in time and fixed everything. If only it were possible...

"Hey..." Said a voice from behind her.

Sakura looked up and found herself looking at Syaoran. ".... hi....."

Syaoran seated himself somewhat beside her, trying to keep some distance. "So... I... uh..." Syaoran started.

Sakura looked at Syaoran, then looked away. "I... guess I must apologize..."

"What for?"

Syaoran's tone was so blunt. No expression whatsoever. Sakura was beginning to reget this deal she made with Tomoyo. This definitely
wasn't the best situation to be in right now.

"I... I blurted out everything all of a sudden... I didn't know... that..."

"You had no choice, didn't you? Otherwise something horrible would've happened."

His voice sounded a little more angry now. Sakura really wished that she could change back time now. It just hurt so much to hear him
talk like this. It really wasn't fair. She never knew what was coming. Sakura didn't have anything to say in reply.

"I guess... I should apologize myself. For... For ignoring you." Syaoran stammered.

"No... it's okay... you couldn't help it..." Sakura explained.

A moment of silence was held. Sakura cautiously looked around for Tomoyo, as she remembered Tomoyo saying she would be there. After
failing in finding her friend, Sakura continued to stare back at the ground. Syaoran still kept his distance, and just sat there. Sakura
wondered what he was thinking about at the moment. Courageously, she looked at him for a second. He seemed to be lost in a few thoughts of
his own.

Syaoran noticed this and looked at Sakura. "Are you sad?"

Sakura blushed lightly and looked back at the ground.

"Y....yeah...." she confessed shyly.

Syaoran smiled lightly. "Your eyes are pretty when they twinkle like that. But they only twinkle when you're sad. It's not good for a girl
as cheerful as you to be depressed."

Sakura blushed harder now, and looked up at Syaoran. Syaoran had gotten off the ledge and was now standing. Soon, he started to walk away.

"Wait! Syaoran-kun..? Where are you going?" Sakura asked in alarm, standing up quickly.

Syaoran stopped and looked back at Sakura. "I have to go do some shopping."

"But... I... thought you were..."

"I'm sorry. I really should get going." Syaoran turned towards the other direction and walked away.

"Syaoran... kun.... wait..." Sakura muttered to herself as she watched him disappear from her sight.

She still wanted to say something. She wasn't sure what, but it just wasn't enough time. She still wanted to talk to him. She still wanted
to be... to be close to him. She wondered. It has been so long... what was his embrace like? Was it gentle, or perhaps strong? Were his hands
always warm? Or maybe cold from practicing his sword? What was his scent now? It was too long. She had forgotten. Even if he did hug her a
couple of nights ago... it still seemed as if everything would change. Ever since that night, things have turned completely around. Even her
senses made her forget.

She continued to stand for a while, still staring into the direction Syaoran left. People came and went, and each time it was less. Soon,
the park was empty. The sky was dark, and she could feel the moist. It was going to rain. But she didn't care. It just wasn't worth caring
for herself now. She collapsed to her knees and started to sob. Soon, the clouds started to cry with her. The rain was coming down lightly,
sliding down the fine curves of her face.

After a while, she realized that she has to try to be strong. She was strong when she was young. That has changed. She has become an
emotional wreck. It was really amazing what teenage life could do to you. As she reflected back on her years, she realized that she has
become more of a spoiled child. It had to change. It had to change now. She wiped her eyes and stood back up. Her eyes searched around until
they found a telephone booth. Soon, her hands were raiding her pockets, searching for only one thing. She brought out a coin, and proceeded
towards the phone.

Her trembling hands slowly put the coin in the slot and picked up the phone. Then she dialed Jonathan's number as quickly as her shaking
hands could. After completing that task, she waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Soon, the telephone was picked up. She heard laughter in the background, then a loud "oops", followed by a crash. She heard Jonathan's
voice in the background, asking someone to pick up the phone for him. She wasn't sure, but she thought that someone referred this person as
"Honey"...

"Hello?" a voice answered from the other end.

It was a sweet voice. A voice that didn't belong to his mother. As far as Sakura knew, Jonathan didn't have a sister, nor any other female
living in his house.

"Oh... hi... may... may I speak to Jonathan please?" Sakura stammered.

"Huh? Oh sure. Hold on a sec, sweetie." The voice replied.

Perhaps it was his cousin. But he never said anything about relatives coming down to his place. Soon, he picked up the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Jonathan? ... It's Sakura..." Sakura said.

"Sakura? Oh... I'm sorry. I think you kinda called at a bad time..."

Sakura paused for a moment. Then she realized.

"Oh, I'm sorry Jonathan. Sorry for bothering your 'fun'..." Sakura replied. Her voice was rasp.

"What do you mean?"

"Who is that girl?"

Both sides have paused.

"... that... is Tomoko..." Jonathan replied.

Tomoko was one of Sakura's classmates. They didn't really get along well. Jonathan knew that. So why?

"What is... Tomoko doing there?" Sakura asked.

"Look... I really gotta go, Sakura."

"*What*... is Tomoko doing there? Can I have an answer at least?"

Jonathan remained silent.

"Jonathan... why didn't you tell me?"

"Because... because I didn't want to let you know. You would feel hurt..."

"I feel hurt... right now." Sakura said in an aggresive tone.

"Sakura, look. You don't understand."

"You really don't love me? You lied? And cheated on me?" Sakura mumbled. Her voice was getting shakey.

"I didn't lie, Sakura! I do love you...! I... just... I was going to tell you, but... .... look. I should go."

"TELL ME NOW!" Sakura yelled into the phone. "Tell me!"

"Sakura... you know how I told you... I lost my sister when I was 8..."

"And?"

Sakura knew the answer wasn't going to satisfy her. Sakura felt ready to hang up the phone. But she still wanted to hear what he had to
say. Perhaps there was a chance...

"I lost her when I was 8... and... the reason why I love you... is because..."

Sakura held her breath for the reason.

"You remind me of her..."

Tears slid down Sakura's cheek. This was exactly what she needed. Pain, after more pain. Maybe she shouldn't have agreed to Tomoyo. She
didn't really settle things with Syaoran, and having an awkward conversation didn't help. Now, she had to confront this. If she stayed home,
she never would have felt like calling Jonathan. And she never would've felt this awful.

"All that time... you were pretending to love me as a lady... but now I find out that... you only really loved me as a sister..." Sakura
sobbed with her shaking voice.

"Sakura... just listen to me for a second!"

"You probably think I'm immature. That's why... I remind you of your sister..." Sakura continued.

"SAKURA! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! JUST LISTEN TO ME!"

Sakura slammed the telephone back on the hook. As of now, the rain was coming down harder. Sakura was half soaked already. But, she didn't
care for that. She had lost someone whom she thought had loved her. No. She was wrong. No one cared for her now. Syaoran was probably still
mad at her. He didn't have his usual friendly gesture today. Things were going completely wrong.

Sakura looked in the direction where she last saw Syaoran, then started running, with her sobs trailing behind her.

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Like? Please review. No like? ...... *shrugs* whatever.
So. How was that chapter? Big ouch for Sakura. So what's going to happen now? ...oooooooo. Well, now that Sakura's life has been ripped in
two and chopped into tiny bits, how's she gonna deal with it? Things definitely don't look good. Well, I guess I'll get started on the next
chapter and write up a storm. ^^
Well, I'll see you peoples around. Til next time!

~*AngelSakura*~