DISCLAIMER: Don't own Pokémon.
A/N: Gotta be quick! Not even supposed to be on here! Eeek! Read on peeps, hope you enjoy!
Chapter Fifteen - Confession and Escape.
The next day I slowly opened one eye as I woke, afraid of what the day would bring. I then remembered that I had work, and for the first time since landing the job, I breathed a sigh of relief at the prospect of going. I wouldn't have to hang around the gym today.
It took me a moment to hear the rummaging going on in my wardrobe and in an instant I had spun around, worried that some stranger was going through my stuff.
No, it was only Mom. I flopped back down on my pillow with a sigh, rubbing my eyes as I spoke.
"Mom, what are you doing?" I asked groggily. The only reply I got was one of my best and few dresses thrown on my bed. It was purple velvet, long sleeved and tight at the neck, and I hated it. I only ever wore it when I was backed into a corner and threatened with various punishments.
"Mom?" I tried again. Still getting no verbal reply, I assumed she was giving me the cold shoulder and looked at my bedside clock. 8.25. "Holy crap, I'm gonna be late for work!" I exclaimed, flinging off my sheets and sitting bolt upright before my mother's words halted my actions.
"They know you're not coming back" she said in a monotone.
"What?" I cautiously inquired.
"I called Marie a couple of minutes ago and told her what had happened" Mom said in that same flat tone. She was now on her knees looking through my shoes.
"What?! You told her I was pregnant?!" I exclaimed in horror.
"Mmhmm" Mom replied non-chalantly.
"I would've done it! I could've given them some notice or something!" I yelled.
"I don't care what you could've done, there's no point you going back there. Just get up and get dressed, you're due for confession at nine" Mom announced, hauling out a pair of rarely used black leather boots.
"Confession?" I whispered. "But I…I haven't been to confession in ages, why now?"
"You have a lot to be asking forgiveness for" Mom said coldly. I gulped, unable to speak as the conflicts ran in my mind about whether she was right. "Hurry up, I don't want to be late." She stalked out of my room, finalizing her words with that trademark door slam she loved to use in her anger.
Confession. Looking again at the purple dress, I winced. No wonder I had been afraid of what the day would bring.
*******
After a breakfast with my family accompanied by an atmosphere the temperature of Antarctica, Mom and I made our way to her church. I could've called it my church if I wanted to but I didn't really feel justified doing so. I hadn't attended in months and Mom had given up trying to force me to go, saying it was my own fault if I was sentenced to an eternity in hell.
My dress was so tight. I swore it was cutting off my air supply, but at least I was looking somewhat responsible. Mom had taken one look at me as I had hobbled down the stairs and then instantly turned away. I knew exactly why too. I already had a small bump showing through, one that I had never realised was there until the other day. Even as we walked into the church she still couldn't glance my way, but instead cheerily walked up to the reverend, a smile masking her true shame and anger.
"Father Michaels, hello" Mom greeted him as we walked down the aisle towards him. My dress was itching and it was so hot. All I wanted to do was run.
"So the Waterflower ladies have arrived" Father Michaels said warmly, flashing us a welcoming smile. "My, Misty, haven't you grown?" he marveled. I cringed at the tone he used, making me sound like I was about five years old.
"I guess so" I replied flatly.
"And what have you been up to since we saw you last?" Father Michaels asked, his worn blue eyes twinkling with charm.
"More than you'd like to know" I mumbled. I don't think he heard me but Mom sure did, and I was notified of this when she nudged me sharply.
"Um, I think Misty needs to start her confession" Mom said, her voice a tad on edge.
"Of course. Right this way, Misty. Mrs Waterflower, you can wait here until your daughter is finished if you like" Father Michaels offered. Mom sat down in a pew and pulled out a book to pass the time. I didn't catch the title but I had to wonder if it was one of those self help books. She tended to turn to those in times of crisis. I could see it now - "How to cope with the shame when your fifteen-year old gets knocked up."
I silently followed Father Michaels to the confession boxes, my nerves multiplying by the second. Those boxes scared me. Only an iron grate was all that kept me from bearing my soul, and once that had been opened there was no turning back.
I apprehensively stepped in, crutches and all, walking into a dim world of honesty, raw and simple. The grate suddenly flew open and I panicked. What was I supposed to say again? Oh yeah.
"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." After crossing myself I drew in a shaky breath, unsure of where or how to start. "It's been a while since my last confession, since I last came to church even, so I guess that in itself is a sin. And on top of that I've been greedy, envious, lustful and I've been under the influence of gluttony." I bit my lip before I continued. "But there's a reason for that" I whispered.
"Take your time, my child" Father Michaels said gently.
"The reason is…I've fallen in love. Or re-fallen in love. I don't know, he was my ex until a couple of months ago. We met back up at Washbay Beach over the summer and I said to myself I wouldn't fall for him again, he hurt me too badly last time, I swore I wouldn't and I couldn't, but…" I trailed off and sighed. "I did. And it's kinda lead to the reason I'm here today. In fact…" I trailed off again and thought for a minute. "You know, I'm only really here because Mom thinks I sinned, not because I do. Is that even allowed?"
"Your mother obviously cares about you very much if she wants you to be redeemed" was the reply I got. She cares? Yeah, that's the one. That would make headlines in the papers if it were true.
"Well I guess the ultimate sin for her was finding out that I'd fallen in love with him again. When we first broke up I came home and stopped my training, and she wasn't impressed with me or Ash. But then at Washbay we slept together and yes, I am only fifteen but it was so right and I don't regret it for a second. What I do regret is the consequence of it, because now I'm pregnant."
God, no matter how many times I said that it never seemed true.
"I see" Father Michaels said solemnly. His tone didn't cheer me but I suddenly found myself unable to stop talking, the words coming out in a flurry.
"And it's like, I don't know what to do, which way to turn. There are so many options and yet it always seems so hopeless. Mom and Dad are kicking me out, I'm going to live in Pallet Town, my sisters can't look at me just as they were beginning to slightly understand me…and I hate it, I truly hate it, but I confuse myself on whether or not I should've slept with Ash that night. It felt right but was it right? I don't know, I…" I choked on my words and fought back those relentless tears that had lately become a companion to me. "I don't think it was a sin" I whispered.
"Love is never a sin" Father Michaels pointed out. "It sounds like you love this boy a lot."
"I do" I smiled. "I really honestly do. Mom can't understand that."
"Maybe the sin here is the lack of communication in your family, or the lack of understanding. Either way, God forgives you."
"What? He does? But how can He, I did something illegal" I pointed out.
"The Lord works in mysterious ways. And He forgives you."
"I wish my mother would" I mumbled.
*******
Two hours later I was lying on my bed, fighting off the nausea that had been swimming through my stomach all morning and re-reading the letter Ash had given to Lily only half an hour ago. They had met up in town, which was Ash's way of contacting me, and the words he had written were bittersweet to read.
Dear Misty,
Thinking about you, as always, wondering where you are and what you're doing. I hope you're away from your mother, that woman is beyond anyone's imagination. Anyways, I do have a reason for writing this, cos I promised I'd be in touch with you. I've already called Lily's cell and we're meeting up in half an hour so she can give this to you.
Misty, we are getting outta here!
I don't know what you will make of this, I would hate to leave my hometown in a situation like this, but it's gotta be better than staying with your mom. I've booked two bus tickets to Pallet for tomorrow, we leave at 2pm, so if you can get to the Cerulean Central Hotel and ask for my room they'll take you up there no sweat. They know I'm expecting you. If you could get here at about 1.45 that would be great.
I know this is hard but we WILL get through this. I've sworn that to the both of us.
Called Mom again, she is still dead set on you getting to Pallet, you know how much she worries! She said she's not entirely thrilled with the news but that she'll talk more about it once we get there. Don't worry, she's not gonna do anything near what your mom did.
Anyways I suppose you're reading this and telling me to shut up and stop rambling already, so I will. I love you and miss you heaps and heaps, (even though I only saw you yesterday) look after yourself and the little one and I'll see you tomorrow.
All my love forever,
Ash xxoo
No matter how often I read his words, I couldn't get one solid emotion out of them. Oh sure, I was happy to be getting away from Mom, and I was grateful and thrilled to be living with Ash and Delia. But I had to leave Dad, my sisters, my hometown and practically my whole life in Cerulean. My head and my heart were running in opposite directions.
There was a knock on my door and I quickly shoved the letter under my pillow before replying that it was open. To my disbelief, all three of my sisters walked through and seated themselves in various places round my room.
"Lily tells us that you're leaving tomorrow" Daisy started quietly. I nodded, trying to think of a way to fill in the impending uncomfortable silence.
"I have to. Mom and Dad are kicking me out, you know that."
"We know, but…" Violet trailed off and bit her lip. "But Pallet isn't going to turn all this into a fairytale. Going to live with Ash and his mom won't turn the acid into sugar."
"Is anything else not magically transforming while you're at it?" I snapped in irritation.
"Don't get titchy, Mist. We're just worried that you're running away to nowhere" Violet said.
"As much as you love Ash, you have to admit, he's not the most mature person on the block. Do you really think he can help you get through something as difficult as this?" Lily asked.
"He already is! God, you guys almost sound as bad as Mom!" I exclaimed.
"Maybe we do, but unlike Mom we are worried about you" Daisy said.
"Well don't be. I can look after myself" I said confidently, which was probably a huge lie and I knew it. There was a long pause before Lily spoke up.
"I'm gonna miss you, Misty."
"Me too" the other two piped up in unison.
"Oh guys" I sighed, staring at the three of them with tear-filled eyes. "I'll miss you too. But I have no choice here. Ash has promised me he'll be there for me and I believe him."
"Just be careful" Daisy whispered. With that all three of them enveloped me in a lingering hug, and I soon found myself sobbing on their shoulders.
"I'm sorry guys, I'm so sorry" I apologised in a strangled voice. I wasn't quite sure what I was apologizing for but it had become my catch phrase over the last couple of days and it always seemed appropriate in a situation such as this. What the hell else would have been appropriate?
We finally broke away and I wiped my eyes, furious at myself for having put on such a pathetic display. If I wanted to get through this, I knew I had to be strong. This wasn't exactly the greatest start.
"We'll drive you down to his hotel tomorrow" Violet offered.
"What? You don't have to do that, I can get the bus."
"With your crutches and a suitcase? I don't think so Mist" Lily smiled sadly. No more words passed anyone's lips and it was decided from that point. My sisters would drive me to Ash's hotel for the final goodbye. We all knew it would be heart-wrenching and painful to say the least, but it had to be done. None of us knew when we would all be united as a group of four again, which was just another factor of fear and hurt to add to everything else that was going on in my mind.
And thus my last day in Cerulean began when I started packing the next day. What would I need? What a stupid question, this wasn't a holiday, I was moving. I'd need everything. But then thinking that, I remembered that I would be gaining a hell of a lot of weight with this baby and that I would need new clothes. Maternity clothes. I shuddered at the thought.
I packed what I thought would be essential - toothbrush, hairbrush, money, clothes that I could fit into for now, a book I was reading and a couple of photos I didn't really want to leave behind. Snapping the suitcase shut, I sighed and sat down on my bed, taking in every inch of my room. It had been so comforting, so warm at a time when I really needed it. And now looking at it, I just felt…well, numb.
For the first time since falling pregnant, I had been sick that morning. Not a particularly good omen on today of all days, but I couldn't do anything about it and I certainly couldn't tell Mom. She might have even heard me, I don't know. I pretty much only remember running from the kitchen table in a rush and coming back looking and feeling absolutely awful. No surprises when I didn't touch my breakfast. She must've figured it out.
God my jeans felt tight. I'd be throwing them out soon, no doubt. That was a thought depressing beyond compare. Checking my watch, I discovered it was 1.30 just as Daisy burst into my room.
"Oh good, you're packed. We hafta leave now cos Violet's a bit confused as to where the hotel is" she said, grabbing my suitcase and hauling it out the door. I smiled, not at all surprised by what Daisy had told me, and took a final glance around my room. Goodbye pastel pink walls I had once despised, goodbye window with that perfect view, goodbye incredibly messy desk…
I precariously tottered down the stairs and found myself faced with silence as I reached the kitchen. Mom was out "running errands" (no doubt just avoiding me) and Dad was at some sort of conference. But then again, he could've just been using Mom's tactic.
"Misty! Come on, we need to find this place!" Violet shouted, furiously beeping her car horn.
"Just a sec!" I yelled back. I quickly went over to the whiteboard where Mom wrote down all the groceries or things she had to do in a week. Finding some spare space, I picked up the pen and slowly wrote three words with a shaky hand.
I'm sorry, Dad.
"Misty! Hurry up!" More beeping of the horn.
"Okay okay" I muttered, moving myself as fast as I could to Violet's car. Daisy and Lily were in the back, giving me the honors of the front seat. "So you haven't got a clue where this place is?" I grinned as Violet pulled away from the gym. I didn't dare look back. Something could have made me change my mind and that was the last thing I needed.
"Well it says central, so somewhere in town" Violet shrugged. "Don't worry, we'll find it."
"We better" I mumbled. I turned around to face my other two sisters. "How was Ash when you saw him yesterday, Lily?"
"He looked tired. He was smiling and all but he had huge rings under his eyes."
"Oh no" I sighed. "He doesn't deserve this."
The rest of the ride was silent, even though I tightly clenched my fist round the armrest as we approached that damn hill on the way to town. There were white crosses marking the crash site and I could only look for a second before turning my eyes away. I didn't want any more pain than I would already be experiencing today.
"There's too many hotels" Violet whined, scanning her eyes as she drove round the city centre. She wasn't wrong, but it couldn't have been that hard to find surely.
"There!" Daisy shouted frantically as she pointed to a building outside, almost causing Violet to initiate an accident by slamming on her brakes in a panic. Car horns tooted around us and I had to laugh. Sure, we had nearly caused an accident, but it was damn funny in the process.
"Oh shut up!" Violet yelled as one disgruntled driver gave her the one-fingered salute of road rage. But Daisy had been right. We were indeed at the Cerulean Central, and we pulled into the car park. Violet turned off the engine, severing all noise as she did, for no one knew what to say.
"Come on, let's get you in there, don't want you to miss your bus" Lily finally spoke up, quickly opening her door and hurrying out of the car. We all followed suit, silence once again engulfing us, and walked into the foyer, asking for Ash Ketchum's room. The guy behind the desk probably knew who we were from the strange looks he gave us, but told us his room was on the 15th floor anyway.
Reaching the room only increased my nerves of anticipation and uncertainty and I paused slightly before knocking on the door. I noticed that my sisters all had their eyes directed to the floor as Ash almost instantaneously answered to my raps.
"Hey Misty" he greeted me, planting a small kiss on my lips. I smiled as I drowned in a sea of brown eyes before I whispered something to him.
"Can you gimme a minute to say goodbye?" He nodded and I turned to my sisters, noticing their eyes all cast towards me as I did. "Please look after Dad. Mom's just angry but he's absolutely heartbroken, and I don't want him doing anything stupid or getting any worse."
"Don't worry Mist, you have our word" Daisy smiled. Another group hug ensued but I held back my tears. They were pointless and had been shed enough already.
"Thanks for everything" I choked out.
"Don't mention it" Violet said, almost as groggily as I had. They pulled away and Daisy handed Ash my suitcase, who took it with a sympathetic smile.
"I'll call and write when I can, but it won't be easy" I said softly.
"Don't you worry about that sweetie, we'll call you, much safer and easier. Just look after yourselves, the both of you, and don't make too many demands on poor Delia" Lily said. I smiled. She reminded me of a mother instructing a child before heading off to boarding school.
"I won't, I won't. Now go. Please." It was a weak plea but they understood it. Facing them any longer would've killed me.
"Bye Mist! Look after yourself!"
"Love ya heaps sweetie!"
"Don't overdo anything! See ya later!"
And with that my three sisters stepped into the lift and were shut away as the doors made an all too final thud. Ash pulled me close next to him, his shoulder a wall of support at a time when I found it impossible to support myself.
"You'll see them again" he said softly.
"Yeah, but when?" I sighed. "They've been nothing but great to the both of us since summer and now I haven't got the opportunity to pay them back in any way."
"You will get the opportunity though. You will. Let's just get all this sorted out first and then we'll find a way to pay them back. Lord knows how much we owe them. Come on, I've just gotta pack a few final things." Ash led me into the room which was far more above average than I had first expected, but I guess being a Pokémon Master it just comes with the territory.
"I'll be back in just a sec. Stay put" Ash grinned.
"Where else could I go?" I mumbled. Ash pecked my cheek and strode off towards his room, leaving me alone in the huge living area that eventually led to the kitchen. I wandered around, noticing how immaculate the whole place was and drinking in the view of the Cerulean Business District. I could see my old work from where I was standing. Hahaha, poor buggers, still working their asses off.
Still, guess I'd rather be in their shoes than my own.
Walking into the kitchen, I found Ash's wallet lying open on the counter. Well gee Ash, that was smart, I thought with a smile. I could clearly see his various cards and his Indigo League ID carefully slotted inside, but something more interesting caught my eye. It was one of the rare photos Ash and I had had together when we were previously going out. I hadn't seen it in years. We were smiling, in fact neither of us looked too bad (if I do say so myself) the happiness practically radiated from the image.
Strange to think that only two weeks later I was back in Cerulean and he was going out with Giselle.
I sighed. I shouldn't think of the past, it was not a good friend of mine. Then again, I guess the present wasn't either. I was so absorbed in the picture that I didn't notice Ash entering the kitchen, suitcase in tow.
"I've had that picture with me for two years" he said, looking over my shoulder to see it better.
"Well that was stupid. What if Giselle had seen it?" I asked.
"She did see it. She ordered me to burn it or rip it up or something. All I had to do was remind her that, as much as I cared about her, I was going out with her for image, not emotion."
"Ash!" I exclaimed as I spun on my heel to face him. "Please don't tell me you put it like that!"
"How else could I have said it? 'Sorry toots, you don't compare to the goddess I carry round in my wallet'?" Ash said.
"You're crazy" I muttered. "She didn't deserve to -"
"Look Mist, just don't dwell on it. I kinda think we have more important issues to deal with at the moment" Ash pointed out, running his fingers over my stomach before checking his watch. "Like catching our bus in time. Sheesh, what time did you guys decide to leave?" he asked hurriedly as he grabbed both our suitcases.
"1.30, but Violet got lost and nearly caused a pile up" I giggled.
"She managed to do both? What a legend" Ash laughed. "Come on, do you need some help?"
"No no, I'm fine" I smiled. We made our way to the lift, the first leg of our uncertain journey beginning right there. By the time we had made it down to the foyer and outside, the bus was already waiting, though I couldn't tell how much longer the driver's patience could hold out. Ash handed him our bags as I stepped on, keeping my eyes cast downward for fear of being recognized by some Cerulean citizen.
I grabbed a window seat and wistfully looked out, even though I had ordered myself earlier not to. I knew what would happen and it immediately did - those bloody pros and cons started up again. Was this the right thing to do? Had Violet been right in saying that this wouldn't improve our problems? Would Ash always be there for me as he had so boldly declared he would?
He walked in a moment later and sat next to me as the bus started up with the irritated groan of an old engine. This was it. I couldn't turn back now. And as the bus pulled away from the hotel, I felt myself being pulled away from everything I had ever known.
It had to be for the better. Nothing could be better than getting away from Mom. So why did I still feel this horrible sting inside of me as we reached Cerulean City's limits?
"You okay Mist?" Ash asked worriedly. He had obviously noticed that I hadn't moved my eyes from the window since I'd sat down. I finally tore my gaze away from the distant city and eyed him with a small smile.
"I will be. I know I will be."
A/N: Okay no time, gotta fly, lol. AAML forever and thankies so so much for all the reviews!
