DISCLAIMER: I don't own Pokémon. This must be the hundredth time I've said that in my writing life.

A/N: You guys are awesome! The reviews are so awesome! AWESOME! Thanks so so SO much, they honestly are brill. And now we resume reading. Yay!

Chapter Eighteen - One down, four to go

And so it was decided that I would carry our child for the next six months and that those detested adoption agencies would have to be of some use after all. In fact, it was only a week after the ultrasound (in which I was allowed to keep the images but which I promptly shoved under my bed. I couldn't get attached to this baby in any way possible) that Ash and I took our first trip to the adoption agency for an interview with a couple from Cinnabar Island.

While Ash had been away, I had narrowed down the prospective foster parents to five from different parts of Kanto and Johto. I had been sifting through the applications with Ash the evening before the interview and he seemed to agree that I had made a good short list.

"Hey Mist" Ash spoke up as I furiously scanned over forms.

"Mmhmm" I said distractedly.

"Where are the ultrasound pictures?" Ash asked.

"Under my bed. Why?" I was still filtering through a sea of paper and not really paying attention to what he was saying.

"Just cos" Ash shrugged. I slowly lifted my head and eyed him seriously as I realised what he had just asked.

"That's not an answer. Now why?" I repeated.

"Because…I thought you might've lost them or something" Ash mumbled.

"Whatever" I sighed, burying my head in my hands. "I can't deal with this" I announced.

"And I can't blame ya. Come on, say you call it a night. You'll need your strength tomorrow" Ash reminded me.

"I'll need my sanity tomorrow. Shame I haven't seen it in a while" I grinned as I stood up.

"Oi, be positive, only two more weeks of these bastards" Ash pointed out, referring to my crutches. He wasn't wrong. I'd been checked up by yet another doctor who'd said my leg was healing 'beautifully' and that the cast could come off in two weeks. I'd never been so relieved in my life.

"True." I followed him up the stairs, my head pounding with stress and anxiety. "I'll just go brush my teeth." I didn't need to tell Ash this - it was a daily ritual for me to brush my teeth, find him in my room and to say goodnight to him before we went our separate ways for the night.

My reflection in the mirror said it all. The rings under my eyes, my pasty skin…I might have been going crazy, but I could have sworn my eyes were a duller shade of blue. I shut my eyes tight that night I brushed my teeth. I also looked out the window and, just for the hell of it and because it was true, swore that my mother's heart was the shade of black the night sky was.

I shook out my hair as I walked down the hall to my room and found the door wide open, as always it was at this time of night. I smiled, knowing Ash would already be in there, and slowly walked in. The sight before me made me freeze with an emotion I couldn't quite understand, but nonetheless it definitely stopped me in my tracks.

It wasn't a huge shock or anything, so I don't know what was up with me when I found myself unable to talk or move. I knew it was my fault, I had let it slip only minutes before.

"Ash…" He jumped in surprise at the sound of his name but he couldn't hide the evidence as he stared at me with guilty eyes. "I put the ultrasound pictures under my bed for a reason."

"But…but Mist, look, those tiny little fingers and that little curl of a spine." Ash smiled down at the image and slowly stroked his finger over it. "Isn't it amazing?"

I slowly walked over and sat on my bed, looking down at him while he was on the floor. "It is. It truly is" I confessed. "But it's also impossible for either of us to get close to this baby. We only have one option and you know what that is."

"I know" Ash sighed. "Do you think if we were older we'd be able to bring it up ourselves?"

"I don't know" I replied softly, unable to meet his eyes. "And it's stupid to think things like that because in six months this baby isn't going to be a part of our lives. It's going to go to people who can look after it properly, who can promise it shelter and warmth and food. We can't guarantee that."

"But my salary from the League would -"

"Ash" I interrupted firmly. "Don't. We are not keeping this baby. We've been through enough." Ash kept his eyes on the images for a few seconds with a forlorn face, like a little boy who had just been told by his mother that he can't have sweets before dinner, and put the pictures back under my bed before sitting next to me.

"I'm sorry Mist. This is just so…"

"Conflicting?" I supplied. Ash nodded and I sighed. "We have to be realistic about this. The both of us are barely sixteen years old" (Ash had turned sixteen a month before I had, while he was still up at Indigo) "and even now, with this decision made, our future is still incredibly uncertain. A lot can happen in six months. We could have a huge row and vow never to speak to each other again, my mother might, for some absurd reason, be willing to forgive me and want me home…the list goes on."

"I know" Ash said solemnly. "Would you go home if your mom said you could?"

I laughed to hide my sudden nerves the question had injected in me. "What's with the third degree, Ash? All these questions…"

"Misty, I'm serious. If your mom forgave you and wanted you home, what would you do?" Ash repeated. I bit my lip and scanned my eyes round the room, searching for an answer that I couldn't find.

"It'll never happen, so don't -"

"Answer the question" Ash interrupted. I gulped. I wasn't going to get out of this one.

"Okay, fine, I don't have a clue what I would do. I'd love to say that I would flatly refuse and stay here with you, but…" I sighed and kept my gaze on his surprised face. "They're my family. I miss Dad so much, and I still owe my sisters big time."

"I owe them too" Ash said.

"However, at the same time I am incredibly in love with you." I smiled and kissed him to prove it. "The thought of being away from you again is a truly terrifying one. And you know, you are like my true family, you and Delia. I don't think I could live with Mom again either. It would result in murder" I rolled my eyes. "Why did you ask anyways?"

"Cos I'm a paranoid bastard afraid of losing you again" Ash grinned. "Forget I asked, I don't want you worrying about insignificant things right before this huge significant thing tomorrow. Will you be able to sleep alright tonight?"

"I'll be fine" I said assuredly. "Make sure you get some sleep too. Sweet dreams and all that."

"About you, always" Ash said. With that he leaned over and kissed me, once again making me slip away from reality as my mind refused to tell me to let go. We were treading deep waters by making it last and develop as long as it did. The whole conversation about the prospect of me going back to Cerulean had obviously made me appreciate him more, because I was finding it impossible to pull away.

"Misty, I thought you'd need some -"

Shit. I'd left the door open.

I screamed at the sound of Delia's voice, the only trigger that tore me away from her son, and stared in acute embarrassment at her frozen form standing in the doorway. I couldn't look at her for long without feeling myself turning red so I kept my eyes to the floor, a much safer and less humiliating option.

"Mom! Can't you knock or something?" Ash asked wearily, rubbing his elbow from where it had hit the headrest of my bed when I'd pushed him away.

"Look, I don't care what the two of you got up to at Washbay, but none of that goes on under my roof. Do you hear me, Ashton?"

"Yeah yeah Mom, okay" Ash muttered in obvious embarrassment. I had to use all my willpower to stifle the giggles that were erupting through my dissolving shame.

"I brought some more towels up for you, hun" Delia said, turning back to me with her normal cheering approach.

"Thanks Delia" I said gratefully.

"I'll let you two say your goodnights. I know the both of you have a big day tomorrow." Delia smiled sympathetically and left as if nothing had happened. I stole one tiny glance at Ash and immediately burst into hysterics at the incident. I found myself unable to stop, even when tears spilt over my eyes and my stomach yelled at me in pain.

"Oh God" I gasped as my laughter slowly died down. "Man, that was the funniest…" I couldn't finish my sentence when more laughs escaped my mouth and Ash finally cracked a smile.

"Yeah, it was funny for those of us who didn't get injured" he commented lightly, still nursing his bruised elbow.

"Aww, I'm sorry" I apologised when I found some air to talk. I crawled up behind him and wrapped my arms around his chest, showing him how apologetic and grateful I was to him. I briefly kissed his cheek before leaning my head on his shoulder, almost as if it were a pillow my wary head craved.

"Don't fall asleep there. I've gotta get to my room before Mom starts cooking up a lecture" Ash said as he stroked my hands.

"I can't move" I said softly. "What a shame." I didn't actually move for about two minutes and neither of us said a word either. It was just comforting to know the other was there, I guess. We would need each other even more from now on. The only thing that eventually pulled me away from him was the image of Delia walking in on a scene that had developed into something so heavy so fast, and I felt my shoulders starting to shake at the giggles I was restraining.

"Don't start that again" Ash said wearily, which only caused me to fully laugh out loud again as I fell back on my bed in hysterics.

"It was sooo funny…your face…and your mom…" I continued to chuckle to myself as Ash stood up. I was lying down trying to catch my breath when he planted a small goodnight kiss on my lips.

"Sleep well" Ash said.

"I'd just like any kind of sleep" I groaned. "See ya tomorrow." I blew him a kiss as he reached the door and watched him walk out with a lighter heart and, for the first time in months, I fell asleep with a smile on my face that night, even with the impending doom of the forthcoming day.

*******

"'We offer the best ongoing care for your child with many couples interviewed and your preferences placed first'" I read from the pamphlet I was holding at the adoption agency's waiting room. "This isn't a bloody boarding school for Chrissakes. Their pamphlets make it sound like one" I snorted.

"Misty" Ash hissed, sharply nudging me to emphasise his idea of me somehow being in the wrong.

"What? They do, listen: 'For a small fee, we can place your child in warm, comfortable and loving family environments.' Next thing you know they'll be sending out the term dates and stationery fees." I flicked the pamphlet back down on the table that was next to me and literally started biting my nails. "What if these people are horrible? What if they want to make a Cinderella out of our kid and just force it to work day and night?"

"Will you relax? You read the pamphlet, you've talked to this agency before, they'll make sure everything goes okay. There are four other choices we've got backed up too. Besides, didn't Cinderella become a princess in the end?" Ash grinned. I shrugged, not really all ears to his words.

There were two other couples in the room and they were all a hell of a lot older than us. I could've sworn the couple opposite us were sending us the most discreet of disapproving looks, especially now that I was about a week away from hitting the four month mark and that bump was getting bigger. Not maternity dress size bigger, but bigger all the same. My mother would have died of embarrassment by now if she'd still been hanging round me.

I had not had a good night's sleep. Falling asleep with a smile on your face does not always equal easy sleeping. This had been discovered when I woke up four times and at one stage found myself reading to draw in some desperately wanted fatigue. Thinking on my own only led to fear and possibly depression, so I read fiction. It had always seemed such a long shot from my own life, but the dramas I was reading in my book gave me a sort of kinship with reality nowadays. Deceits, romances, last minute decisions and twists and turns. See my point?

"Misty Waterflower and…uh, Ash Ketchum."

All heads snapped up at the last name the head of the agency had called out and I cringed. They knew who he was. The rumours would fire up, the whispers would travel faster than the speed of sound…oh man. That was a potentially fatal move the head had just made for us. Thanks mate.

The two of us stood up and Ash tried to keep a brave face about the stares people were giving us but I knew what he was thinking. Thoughts that are probably too obscene to subject to the public. I kept quiet as we walked into the room and the door was shut behind us. I didn't want to open my mouth for fear of verbally abusing the head for her clumsy mistake.

"Have a seat, you two. May I firstly congratulate the pair of you for choosing such a fine agency to leave your child with" the lady started. Boarding school, I thought wearily. "My name is Sarah Jameson, and I've been running this agency for nine years now. We know the difficulties of giving up a child, especially at such a young age and in such…um, circumstances" she said, staring directly at Ash.

"Okay Ms. Jameson, I firstly want to get one thing straight with you" Ash said severely, catching both myself and this Sarah lady by surprise. "My status in the Pokémon League has to be, in no way at all, brought into this. No decisions will be made on the basis of considering my position and I'd greatly appreciate it if all of this wasn't brought into any sort of speculation anywhere."

Sarah looked stunned by his forceful tone and I was staring at him in some sort of shock as well. He certainly didn't sound sixteen. He sounded about twice his age and like he should be wearing some sort of suit.

"A-absolutely, Mr. Ketchum" Sarah stammered. She went into a flutter of burying herself in her notes, probably as a way of avoiding meeting our eyes, and found a sheet that seemed to have my name on it a lot. I couldn't quite see. "So the both of you have definitely confirmed that you're adopting out? Once you sign the forms concerning the parents you can't decide for abortion, and if you decide to keep the baby you have to give them and us at least a month's notice."

"We're adopting out" I said firmly. "Hand over the prelim forms." Ash's forceful attitude must have rubbed off on me, and Sarah must have absolutely detested us by now. Two young brats being incredibly rude to someone who was pretty much dictating their future.

Nonetheless, she gave us the forms and I signed my name three times without hesitation. This was happening. Ash also signed his name, slowly and delicately signing away his child to strangers we hadn't even met yet.

"Right, well with that sorted I guess we're only waiting on -" Sarah was interrupted by her intercom buzzing. "Excuse me" she said politely before pressing a button that caused an unfamiliar voice to filter through.

"Mr and Mrs. Sanderson are here."

"Okay, tell them to come straight through" Sarah instructed before switching off the intercom. "That's the couple you're about to meet. Now, you can ask any questions - within reason," she hastily added, "and that you think are relative to the subject at hand. They've flown all the way from Cinnabar Island so please be polite." She almost sounded like a mother begging a child to be on their best behaviour before a dinner party.

"Polite is my middle name" I muttered to Ash, who hung his head to hide his grinning face.

A minute later the door opened and I swiftly turned around to face a nervous looking blonde couple who were clutching each other's hands and not keeping their eyes in one place.

The shadows of the prison gates clang around me…

"John and Madison Sanderson, this is Misty Waterflower and Ash Ketchum" Sarah introduced us. After the friendly smiles and handshakes the two of them sat down in chairs beside us. Madison had an annoying habit of drumming her manicured nails against the armrest which almost drove me crazy before we'd even started talking.

"Okay, I'll start with an easy question first - why do you two want our child?" It was as polite as I could put it, but Sarah was obviously unimpressed as she nervously darted her eyes to the couple.

"Because…well, we've been married five years, and we've tried so hard to produce a child but we can't. I've miscarried six times and we're just so frustrated" Madison explained.

"We love kids. If we can't have any of our own than this is the next best thing" John added. Oh, so we're kinda like your last resort then? I thought darkly, but didn't dare say it. I knew what lines I couldn't cross.

"And you'd promise to love it, care for it, be there for it when it needs you most?" Ash asked.

"Entirely. It would be the most important thing in our lives" Madison replied.

"What do the two of you do for a living?" I asked cautiously.

"I'm a nurse and John's a meatpacker."

Nurse? Meatpacker?! Geez, my poor kid would be brought up with people who came home splattered in blood every day. I was already intuitively doubting this round.

"Do you consider Cinnabar Island to be a good place to bring up children? I mean, it's near the ocean which is a potential drowning risk, and it's practically a volcano on its own, plus it's rather isolated. You believe these are good conditions for a child to grow up in?" I was now dictating the questions, Ash not getting a word in edgewise and my doubts fuelling to my hostility.

"Um…" John looked uncomfortable at the question. "Cinnabar is virtually a family on its own, even if it is isolated from the rest of Kanto. We're all a community together and we all like to get together for picnics and such, let our kids run around."

"But so far we have no kids to let run around at the picnics" Madison said. After hearing this, a question instantly came to mind and I prayed it wasn't too rude or outspoken.

"What do your friends think of you being childless?"

"They feel so sorry for us. We're sick of the sympathy" Madison sighed, as though it were a huge burden.

Eeek, that was it! No way were these people having my kid so they could have a little one to run around the picnics and to fill in the sympathy complaints. Children are not about image, for crying out loud!

"All we've ever wanted is a proper family portrait standing on our mantelpiece, a niece or nephew for our siblings, a grandchild for our parents" John said. Woah buddy, hold up, you're only digging your grave deeper here.

"Do either of you smoke?" Ash suddenly asked. Hmm, good question.

"I do" Madison said almost instantaneously.

"And you wonder why you have so many miscarriages?" I mumbled under my breath. No way. These were not the ones. Smokers and people who dealt with blood and who lived in the middle of nowhere were not my idea of parents. Call me biased or whatever you like, but I knew we could do better.

"Right, well if there are no further questions from either of you I guess we can wrap it up" Sarah announced. The Sandersons stood up and shook our hands again before quietly exiting the room, muttering to each other in whispered tones.

"Awful. Tell them to find people who don't mind giving up their kids for abusive purposes" I said in total aloofness. Once again, Sarah was shocked by my words.

"They're not abusive people, Misty" she said calmly.

"Are you kidding? They just want to have a child to look good, not cos they'd love it or want to give it the best of anything. I'm sorry but company picnics and family portraits are not good enough reasons."

"Well, this is your choice, so I guess we're crossing them off the list" Sarah sighed. "You know, that was one of the shortest interviews I've ever conducted. Maybe that's something to be proud of. When do you want to have another interview with the next couple? You can't leave it too long because we need to sort out the legal dealings and all that."

"Oh God, we've still got four more to go" I groaned.

"Um, can we give you a call tomorrow, Ms. Jameson?" Ash asked oh so politely.

"Of course, of course. I know it's been tough for the both of you, so you can have this day to think about when you'd prefer to interview the next people. So until tomorrow, I look forward to hearing from you" Sarah said with a plastic smile. I don't know how she could have genuinely smiled at us now after all the stress we'd just put her through.

The two of us left and didn't say a word as we walked through central Pallet Town. Our walk was leisurely in the autumn sunshine - it was mid-November by now, autumn wouldn't be round much longer - but I couldn't look up to see all its beauty. My eyes refused to stop staring at the ground. My mind was somehow trying to tell me that those people weren't all bad. Six miscarriages would have been hell to go through and I'm sure their parents were desperately unhappy at the prospect of no grandchildren. But then again, they had briefly said something about siblings somewhere there…

"Mist? You okay?" Ash asked.

"Sorta" I shrugged. "That wasn't exactly the most fun thing I've ever had to do. Having my teeth extracted and living with my mother for fifteen years probably equalised with it."

"I know it's not easy, and the worst thing is it's probably not gonna get any easier, no matter how many people we interview. We just have to keep our heads high about this. Hopefully by the time I leave for the League we would've found some very nice, loving people who instinctively catch our eye and who promise the best for our baby. Remember what I said, only the best for you" Ash said, kissing the top of my head as we walked.

"This isn't just me though. You could've said something if you wanted to instead of just handing the steering wheel entirely to me" I teased.

"I asked an extremely important question. I dunno if it matters to you but I don't want our kid being brought up around smokers. It's a potential risk factor for cot death, asthma and all these other horrible things" Ash shuddered.

"Wow, someone's been doing their homework" I said with wide eyes. I was impressed to say the least, not to mention surprised. I didn't realise he was taking this whole process so seriously.

"I sure have" Ash laughed. "Plus the fact that they were blonde kinda knocked me down a bit."

"Now Ash, that is just slightly prejudiced" I said warningly.

"No, I was thinking…when the kid got older, wouldn't it wonder why it didn't have blonde hair when both its so-called parents did? I don't think either of us will be giving it the blonde gene somehow" Ash grinned.

"That's truly pathetic" I giggled. "If you're going to base your idea of good parents on hair colour then maybe you shouldn't be a part of this."

"Ah, but whether you like it or not, my dear, I am a part of this and forever will be. So I guess you're stuck with me" Ash shrugged.

"Yeah, until you leave for the wonderful League" I said sarcastically. "How long are you gonna be gone this time?"

"Well you know how long a tournament takes, probably around a month. The dates haven't been confirmed yet."

"A month?!" I shrieked.

"Mist, keep your voice down" Ash pleaded as people were forced to turn around by the sound of my voice.

"You were already gone nearly three months, then two weeks, and now another month? Are you crazy? Do you have any idea at all how much I'm going to miss you?" I asked softly.

"You don't have to worry about that now, okay? I'm not going for two months" Ash reminded me.

"So? Do you realise that when you get back I'll be seven months pregnant? Seven months?!"

"Which is why I want us to find foster parents before I leave" Ash said calmly. "I want to leave knowing that everything here is settled. I can't go up there worrying about even more things down here when I'll already be worrying about you enough."

"Don't worry about me, for Chrissakes. I've got your mother, she worries enough for the both of you. Just go and then get your ass back here as quickly as possible" I grinned.

"Glad to see you being such a good sport about this" Ash said wearily. I grasped his hand and smiled up at him.

"I have to be. For my own sanity if anything."

We walked home to break the news to Delia, whose hopeful face immediately went into a crestfallen downcast. She was quick to reassure us that we still had four more chances, that surely one of them would be 'the one' as she put it. She was always one for being optimistic, I later mused.

So one interview had been crap. There would be better. This was my reassuring thought for that particular night, as I seemed to have a different one every night, and my eyes closed in yet another distracted slumber as I temporarily departed my constant worries.

A/N: Yay! I'm so happy, TV3 have decided to replay Pokémon episodes all the way back from the Orange Islands series! WOOOO! I get to tape the episodes I missed! Anyways I really should run because I'm supposed to be typing up my chapter for Dilemmas of the Heart (Joy-Girl, it's getting there! It'll be up before Friday!) so stay cool everyone, another chapter tomorrow!