Disclaimer: We don't own Lord of The Rings, it belongs to Mr. Tolkien. We don't own Billy Joel's song "Piano Man" either, or Josie and the Pussycats song "Josie and the Pussycats" or the "U.G.L.Y" song, but the made up parts belong to us! I think….

Note: Made up parts are underlined.



SING US A SONG MR. SARUMAN!

Chapter two: It says "Just add water"…



"AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Saruman as he ran from the room to escape the madness.

And he ran, and ran, and ran some more, till he came to some_random_inn. It had a sign above the door, and it said "The Dorky Donkey" and had a picture of a donkey with huge glasses on with lots of tape in the middle.

"That is the DORKYEST donkey I have ever seen! Or my eyebrows aren't as thick as cucumbers!" he said, and walked inside.

Once inside, he was greeted by a waiter, who lead him to his table. At his table he ordered a glass of water, and so offended the waiter that the inn keeper was called.

"What's all this about? I heard that a customer entered my establishment and instead of usually ordering an alcoholic beverage, has ordered H2O"

Everyone in the inn "Uh-huh, right"

Innkeeper "Or that he order water in stead of ale"

Everyone in the inn "Oh!"

"Well, what is the meaning of this?" the innkeeper asked again.

"Well," answered Saruman, "I ran here from a far away place and felt like I wanted a glass of water, got a problem with that, Dork?" he asked standing up and doing that "somehow grows taller by two feet and looks all menacing and scary" pose.

The inn keeper, whose name was Lauren, and who also was VERY DORKY, ran and hide in a VERY DORKY fashion, screaming at the top of her lungs.*Dedicated to Jackie, see? I wrote the part you requested. Oh, sorry for interrupting the story, um, back to the story!*

Then just after Saruman sat down, the Dork Lauren came back.

"Um, H-he—he-he-hello! Would you hap- happen to be a-a-a, Mr.Sa-sa-sa-ru-ru- ma-ma-man, the Ex-ex White?" she asked, totally scared now and shaking as if she just jumped in a lake with the water temperature –40 degrees, and on a VERY windy day too.

"Well, I'll forgive your stuttering, you fool of a dork, but if you don't leave me alone, I'm gonna turn you in to, hmmmm, how about, oh, grass? So every one can step on you?" he said in a menacing voice.

"Umm, you just have a package, bye!" she said, dropping the package on he table, then running a away in a VERY clumsy, dorky, manner, and tripped and fell on her face about fifty times before reaching the door, which was…….three feet away.

"Hm, what could this be?' said Saruman, looking at the package, which was labeled:

To: Mr. Saruman, The EX-White

From: I'm not Gonna tell you! HA! HA!

Just Add Water

So seeing the "Just Add Water" sign, he poured his whole mug on it, ignoring the "Only add .0000000000000000000000000000000000001 drops of water, or ELSE." Sing label under it in Point .5 print.

Then to his utter horror, the box grew, and grew, and GREW, till it reached the ceiling, and took up about one fourth of the room. Then it started to make noises…

Then, EXPLODED! With a tiny *Pop* sound. Leaving the room full of smoke, and a piece of wood stuck to Saruman's forehead, right between his eyes.

Then came a booming sound, causing Saruman to jump five feet in the air, and scream in a very disturbing way, like the lady in the horror films, with a bunch of scary violinsts popping up behind him, playing that scary high pitched violin piece they play as the lady, or Saruman, screamed.

Then, out of the smoke, coughing and sneezing, were Josie and The Pussycats.

Then Saruman was tied to a random chair, Josie, and her band started to play…the sang

"Saruman and the Urk-hai!

Oh no, you killed my eyes!

Who is that old fat guy?

Old, fat, ugly,

Don't you know

You're all wrinkly!"

Then, the banged open, and in appeared Legolas, Frodo, Sam, Pippin, Merry, Aragorn and Gandalf, who had a keyboard with a sling thing-a-ma-gig on it, so he could walk and play at the same time.

They assembled themselves with the hobbits waving their hands with lighters in them, as Legolas and Aragorn, sang with Gandalf playing in the background.

"Sing us a song Mr.Saruman!

Sing us a song tonight!

Though it sounds like nails on a chalk-board,

We don't care, our ears died last night!

Then, Saruman fled, screaming like a soprano all the way.

Okay! There! I FINALLY FINISHED! I have gotten over the, *GASP* Writers block! DUN! DUN! DUN!!

Okey Dokey, Gandalf smells Smokey! Your turn Naheka!