Disclaimer: We don't own LOTR. JRR Tolkien owns it! Billy Joel gots Piano
Man.
SING US A SONG MR.SARUMAN!
"He's still alive right?"
"I think so."
"That's one heck of a black eye."
"Well, at least it'll match in texture with his gift-"
"Ssshhh! He's waking up!"
Saruman opened his eyes. He was in a place with tall trees and golden lights. One of the trees had a huge dent in it. Gandalf, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Aragorn, Boromir and Gimli were all hovering over him, staring intently.
"Hello everyone!" said Saruman in a look-at-me-I'm-as-happy-as-can-be-because-I-be-an-idiot-and-in-need-of-a-therapist-because-I-also-have-amnesia tone. "Where am I? Who am I? Who are you?"
Out of the trees, Legolas jumped down, bright and pleasant.
"You're in..." a drumroll played as he spoke, "LOTHLORIEN! And you are..." another drumroll, " SARUMAN! And this is..."
"Enough drum roll!" shouted everyone.
"Sam, Merry, Pippin," Legolas continued, tapping each hobbit on the head. "Aragorn and Boromir" poking his head between their shoulders, "my best friend Gimli,"
"Stupid Elf." Muttered Gimli.
"Aaaaand Mithrindar!"
"Whu?" asked Saruman.
"Mithrindar!"
"Eh?"
"Mithrindar!"
"Er."
"Mithrindar!"
"Who?"
"Gandalf." Grumbled everyone.
"Oh."
With that, Legolas swung back up into the trees, singing merrily.
"He's acting unusual." Said Aragorn as he stared after the Elf.
"You haven't read the book have you?" asked Gimli, brandishing a paperback book labeled 'THE LORD OF THE RINGS PART ONE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING' . There was a picture of Frodo on it, admiring his sword Sting.
"Book?" said Boromir, looking closer at it.
" From pages 375 to 383," said Gimli, clearing his throat. "Legolas can't seem to shut up about how wonderful the trees are and whining that it's not Spring time...stupid Elf." He added. Everyone stared at the book for quite some time, but then-
"Hey!" shouted Saruman as something colorful dropped onto his head.
"You forgot this!" hollered Legolas from the top of the tree. Saruman fumbled with the object. It was a tye-dye robe.
"Heeey!" said Merry, admiring Saruman's new robe as he put it on. "I want one!"
Just then, a giant truckload of tye-dye t-shirts, robes, hats, pants, and shoes came down on Merry's head. "Thank you." Merry peeped from under the rainbow clothes.
"No problem man." Said Legolas, who now had a cloth tied around his head, wearing tye-dye green robes, several pendants, and was pulling on a pair of round lensed sunglasses.
"Stupid Elf." Muttered Gimli again.
"I like your shades, man!" said a voice from behind. Everyone turned. Their jaws dropped.
Galadriel was wearing tye-dye purple, and a very long chain of wooden beads around her neck. She made a peace sign at Legolas, who returned it, then fell out of the tree!
"Legolas fell out of the tree!" gasped the Fellowship.
"Ha ha. Stupid Elf." Said Gimli. Aragorn grabbed him by the collar and shook him hard.
"Do you know what this means?"
"WE CAUGHT HIM! WE CAUGHT HIM!"
"AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!"
"Um, we've only been searching for the last five minu-"
"AND HE'S ALL MINE!"
"ALL YOURS? I CAUGHT HIM!"
"BUT IT WAS MY IDEA!"
"SO WHAT!? HAHA!"
"Fine then. I'll just go after Aragorn."
"And Frodo."
"Ouch." Said Legolas.
He was probably dropped on the ground. "See?" said one of the voices, "Now we're together.all alone."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!!!!!!"
Legolas fled from behind the tree. Agent Fuschi and Agent Moochi finally dropped out of nowhere and caught Legolas by the collar. Moochi had also attained a Matrix look... because Fuschi made her wear it. Now, two long silver water pistols rested in leather gun-holders. Moochi had hers around her waist, and Fuschi had it strapped around her thigh.
"Agent Moochi, this is Agent Fuschi, we have enemy 101 a.k.a. FANGIRL on the loose." Said Fuschi. Moochi looked at Legolas through her sunglasses.
"Identify and locate 101 please." She said to him.
"Over there, man!" said Legolas in his new hippy tone as he pointed behind the tree.
Fuschi and Moochi whipped out their water pistols, and crept around the stump.
"Surrender yourself!" roared Fuschi as she pointed her gun at a fangirl who was looking around in search of her lost obsession.
"Where'd he go?" the fangirl asked.
"He ran away from you, stupid!" shouted another fangirl, who was now stroking Frodo's head. Frodo seemed to be near tears as the stroking turned to hugs. He hated to think what would be coming next.
"Drop the Hobbit and exit the perimeter!" barked Moochi. The fangirl hugged Frodo tighter. "I said, DROP THE HOBBIT AND EXIT THE PERIMETER!" The fangirl squealed and scampered away as Fuschi fired a couple shots on the ground, leaving the grass soaking wet...oh how very threatening. The fangirl that had been staring seductively at Aragorn had also escaped from the scene of the crime and fled along with the other.
"Now that that's been taken care of," said Fuschi as she put her water gun back in the holder. "Good day." And with that, she and Agent Moochi jumped up into the nearest tree and vanished.
"Like, cool man!" said Legolas making a peace sign as he climbed back up his original tree.
"What just happened?" asked Saruman as he looked at himself in a certain podium of magic water, oohing and aahing at his new red tie-dye robes.
"Hey! Like, my reflection just changed!" Saruman looked deeper into the water. He saw himself in a field of flowers with a guitar in hand singing some hideously annoying tune like Where Have All the Balrogs Gone? Saruman beckoned the Fellowship forward to see this amazing watery television. Merry, now clad in yellow tie-dye and Pippin in orange, were first to reach the podium.
"Mushrooms!" they squeaked in delight as they saw themselves arms over each other's shoulder's (in a pure, non-slash way) and skipping in the field of flowers and eating all the mushrooms with Saruman, who was still strumming his guitar. Aragorn also in red, Frodo in blue, Sam in brown with dream catchers around his neck, and Boromir in green saw themselves linking arms (in a pure, non- slash way) and dancing in a circle. Gandalf in... storm blue, not grey, Legolas in his green, and Gimli, who was all out rainbow , joined them in the circle dance and they all looked like they were having fun.
With ten men surrounding a small basin, accidents are inevitably possible. Saruman tipped over, tripping Gimli and Gandalf, who fell into the Hobbits, which knocked over Legolas, who crashed into Aragorn and Boromir that landed on top of Saruman. They all collapsed like dominos. Agent Fuschi and Agent Moochi came round again, got everyone on their feet, and then disappeared.
"That...was weird." Huffed Pippin as he walked away from the basin.
"I want those mushrooms!" grumbled Merry as he followed Pippin out of the scene.
"I want that hat." said Gandalf, peering into the basin again. "Wait a minute.... I do have that hat. Oh happy day!" And with that, he skipped away after Merry and Pippin and out of the scene.
"Agent Moochi, this isn't the exact recorded document." said Agent Fuschi who had just dropped out of nowhere.
"Then we shall make it the way it should be!" exclaimed Moochi as she and Fuschi grabbed Gandalf, Merry, and Pippin by the collars and hoisted them back into the scene.
"Owchie!" said Pippin.
"I feel a hurt in my hurting place." piped Merry.
"Well," inquired Gandalf. "Do you know what I feel?"
"What do you feel Gandalf?" asked Legolas as he took a place next to Boromir and Aragorn. Gimli and the hobbits lined up with each other.
"I feel," said Gandalf getting out his piano. Saruman felt tense. This was a familiar scene, even after amnesia from being thwacked in the head by a tree.
"A SONG COMING!" Gandalf played a couple chords and then-
"SING US A SONG MR.SARUMAN!!!
SING US A SONG TONIGHT!
THOUGH IT SOUNDS LIKE NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD,
WE DON'T CARE, OUR EARS DIED LAST NIGHT!!!"
Saruman fled from the Fellowship Choir, jumped in a boat, and paddled swiftly down the river, his red tye-dye robes fluttering in the winds.
POLL...SORT OF...YEAH...:
What should happen next? I'm short on ideas, and Chaos-chan is defintely not going to be of any use....
SING US A SONG MR.SARUMAN!
"He's still alive right?"
"I think so."
"That's one heck of a black eye."
"Well, at least it'll match in texture with his gift-"
"Ssshhh! He's waking up!"
Saruman opened his eyes. He was in a place with tall trees and golden lights. One of the trees had a huge dent in it. Gandalf, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Aragorn, Boromir and Gimli were all hovering over him, staring intently.
"Hello everyone!" said Saruman in a look-at-me-I'm-as-happy-as-can-be-because-I-be-an-idiot-and-in-need-of-a-therapist-because-I-also-have-amnesia tone. "Where am I? Who am I? Who are you?"
Out of the trees, Legolas jumped down, bright and pleasant.
"You're in..." a drumroll played as he spoke, "LOTHLORIEN! And you are..." another drumroll, " SARUMAN! And this is..."
"Enough drum roll!" shouted everyone.
"Sam, Merry, Pippin," Legolas continued, tapping each hobbit on the head. "Aragorn and Boromir" poking his head between their shoulders, "my best friend Gimli,"
"Stupid Elf." Muttered Gimli.
"Aaaaand Mithrindar!"
"Whu?" asked Saruman.
"Mithrindar!"
"Eh?"
"Mithrindar!"
"Er."
"Mithrindar!"
"Who?"
"Gandalf." Grumbled everyone.
"Oh."
With that, Legolas swung back up into the trees, singing merrily.
"He's acting unusual." Said Aragorn as he stared after the Elf.
"You haven't read the book have you?" asked Gimli, brandishing a paperback book labeled 'THE LORD OF THE RINGS PART ONE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING' . There was a picture of Frodo on it, admiring his sword Sting.
"Book?" said Boromir, looking closer at it.
" From pages 375 to 383," said Gimli, clearing his throat. "Legolas can't seem to shut up about how wonderful the trees are and whining that it's not Spring time...stupid Elf." He added. Everyone stared at the book for quite some time, but then-
"Hey!" shouted Saruman as something colorful dropped onto his head.
"You forgot this!" hollered Legolas from the top of the tree. Saruman fumbled with the object. It was a tye-dye robe.
"Heeey!" said Merry, admiring Saruman's new robe as he put it on. "I want one!"
Just then, a giant truckload of tye-dye t-shirts, robes, hats, pants, and shoes came down on Merry's head. "Thank you." Merry peeped from under the rainbow clothes.
"No problem man." Said Legolas, who now had a cloth tied around his head, wearing tye-dye green robes, several pendants, and was pulling on a pair of round lensed sunglasses.
"Stupid Elf." Muttered Gimli again.
"I like your shades, man!" said a voice from behind. Everyone turned. Their jaws dropped.
Galadriel was wearing tye-dye purple, and a very long chain of wooden beads around her neck. She made a peace sign at Legolas, who returned it, then fell out of the tree!
"Legolas fell out of the tree!" gasped the Fellowship.
"Ha ha. Stupid Elf." Said Gimli. Aragorn grabbed him by the collar and shook him hard.
"Do you know what this means?"
"WE CAUGHT HIM! WE CAUGHT HIM!"
"AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!"
"Um, we've only been searching for the last five minu-"
"AND HE'S ALL MINE!"
"ALL YOURS? I CAUGHT HIM!"
"BUT IT WAS MY IDEA!"
"SO WHAT!? HAHA!"
"Fine then. I'll just go after Aragorn."
"And Frodo."
"Ouch." Said Legolas.
He was probably dropped on the ground. "See?" said one of the voices, "Now we're together.all alone."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!!!!!!"
Legolas fled from behind the tree. Agent Fuschi and Agent Moochi finally dropped out of nowhere and caught Legolas by the collar. Moochi had also attained a Matrix look... because Fuschi made her wear it. Now, two long silver water pistols rested in leather gun-holders. Moochi had hers around her waist, and Fuschi had it strapped around her thigh.
"Agent Moochi, this is Agent Fuschi, we have enemy 101 a.k.a. FANGIRL on the loose." Said Fuschi. Moochi looked at Legolas through her sunglasses.
"Identify and locate 101 please." She said to him.
"Over there, man!" said Legolas in his new hippy tone as he pointed behind the tree.
Fuschi and Moochi whipped out their water pistols, and crept around the stump.
"Surrender yourself!" roared Fuschi as she pointed her gun at a fangirl who was looking around in search of her lost obsession.
"Where'd he go?" the fangirl asked.
"He ran away from you, stupid!" shouted another fangirl, who was now stroking Frodo's head. Frodo seemed to be near tears as the stroking turned to hugs. He hated to think what would be coming next.
"Drop the Hobbit and exit the perimeter!" barked Moochi. The fangirl hugged Frodo tighter. "I said, DROP THE HOBBIT AND EXIT THE PERIMETER!" The fangirl squealed and scampered away as Fuschi fired a couple shots on the ground, leaving the grass soaking wet...oh how very threatening. The fangirl that had been staring seductively at Aragorn had also escaped from the scene of the crime and fled along with the other.
"Now that that's been taken care of," said Fuschi as she put her water gun back in the holder. "Good day." And with that, she and Agent Moochi jumped up into the nearest tree and vanished.
"Like, cool man!" said Legolas making a peace sign as he climbed back up his original tree.
"What just happened?" asked Saruman as he looked at himself in a certain podium of magic water, oohing and aahing at his new red tie-dye robes.
"Hey! Like, my reflection just changed!" Saruman looked deeper into the water. He saw himself in a field of flowers with a guitar in hand singing some hideously annoying tune like Where Have All the Balrogs Gone? Saruman beckoned the Fellowship forward to see this amazing watery television. Merry, now clad in yellow tie-dye and Pippin in orange, were first to reach the podium.
"Mushrooms!" they squeaked in delight as they saw themselves arms over each other's shoulder's (in a pure, non-slash way) and skipping in the field of flowers and eating all the mushrooms with Saruman, who was still strumming his guitar. Aragorn also in red, Frodo in blue, Sam in brown with dream catchers around his neck, and Boromir in green saw themselves linking arms (in a pure, non- slash way) and dancing in a circle. Gandalf in... storm blue, not grey, Legolas in his green, and Gimli, who was all out rainbow , joined them in the circle dance and they all looked like they were having fun.
With ten men surrounding a small basin, accidents are inevitably possible. Saruman tipped over, tripping Gimli and Gandalf, who fell into the Hobbits, which knocked over Legolas, who crashed into Aragorn and Boromir that landed on top of Saruman. They all collapsed like dominos. Agent Fuschi and Agent Moochi came round again, got everyone on their feet, and then disappeared.
"That...was weird." Huffed Pippin as he walked away from the basin.
"I want those mushrooms!" grumbled Merry as he followed Pippin out of the scene.
"I want that hat." said Gandalf, peering into the basin again. "Wait a minute.... I do have that hat. Oh happy day!" And with that, he skipped away after Merry and Pippin and out of the scene.
"Agent Moochi, this isn't the exact recorded document." said Agent Fuschi who had just dropped out of nowhere.
"Then we shall make it the way it should be!" exclaimed Moochi as she and Fuschi grabbed Gandalf, Merry, and Pippin by the collars and hoisted them back into the scene.
"Owchie!" said Pippin.
"I feel a hurt in my hurting place." piped Merry.
"Well," inquired Gandalf. "Do you know what I feel?"
"What do you feel Gandalf?" asked Legolas as he took a place next to Boromir and Aragorn. Gimli and the hobbits lined up with each other.
"I feel," said Gandalf getting out his piano. Saruman felt tense. This was a familiar scene, even after amnesia from being thwacked in the head by a tree.
"A SONG COMING!" Gandalf played a couple chords and then-
"SING US A SONG MR.SARUMAN!!!
SING US A SONG TONIGHT!
THOUGH IT SOUNDS LIKE NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD,
WE DON'T CARE, OUR EARS DIED LAST NIGHT!!!"
Saruman fled from the Fellowship Choir, jumped in a boat, and paddled swiftly down the river, his red tye-dye robes fluttering in the winds.
POLL...SORT OF...YEAH...:
What should happen next? I'm short on ideas, and Chaos-chan is defintely not going to be of any use....
