{Disclaimer:  J.K. Rowlings owns all the Harry Potter World.  I only own my characters and probably the plot, as twisted as it may be.}{Reposted 3/14/02}

{Author's Note:  I know I said sometime ago that I would finish a fic before starting the next one, but damn it, this one has been nagging me for the past weeks!  You know how hard it is to sleep when scenes run through your head and ideas just pop up and you want to think about them but you have a test or two the next day and rehearsal for the school play as well?  BTW, this has been revised and reposted for the sake of glaring typos and ideas that actually helped out as to where this tale is going, which was not figured out before.  Okay, I'm blabbering, on with the show.}

Jackie, this one's for you and your dancing pirates.

Chapter 1

Azkaban's Devilry

**Is this home?/ Am I here for a day or forever?/ Shut away/ From the world until who knows when/ Oh, but then/ As my life has been altered once/ It can change again/ Build higher walls around me/ Change every lock and key/ Nothing lasts/ Nothing holds/ All of me/ My heart's far, far away/ Home and free. "Home" Beauty and the Beast**

I sat in the cell alone.  Darkness covered everything like a thick blanket, save it was not as warm and comforting as it should be.  A cold wet chill hung over the air as it always did and always would.  I shivered.  Even after sixteen years, it still was cold and froze me to the bone.

Azkaban was the kind of place that no one in their right or wrong mind would ever want to be.  It was a prison that made Alcatraz or Chateau d'If seem like an afternoon tea party or a trip to the circus in comparison.  The walls were damp, the floors were cold.  Conditions in general were horrid, like they should be.  The Dementors made it worse.  They could take away every happy thought a person had that they needed to survive just by coming near them.  They sucked out elation and all emotions until a person had none left and slowly went insane from the misery and depression.  It was like being in a void with no feeling, being near the Dementors.  They could terrify the strongest person, make them beg for mercy.  For the weak it was always worse.  For the prisoners on the other hand, worse did not yet begin to describe it.

I sat in the farthest corner away from the open bars of my cage.  I let my eyes unfocus and hid myself in the deep dungeons of my mind.  The guards thought that I was going insane, like most of the prisoners did.  No, not me; I was as a sane as I ever would be.  I began to count the bricks on my wall again.  There were 13,487 separate stones making up the chamber.  Every one was memorized down to the smallest cracks and divots that marked them.  I laughed quietly to myself, not uttering a sound.  I had yet to name them.  They were yet to be named.

Food came twice a day, usually a bowl of gruel or cold soup if I was lucky.  It hadn't come yet today.  I closed my eyes trying to remember the last time that I had felt full.  It wasn't just the hunger that gnawed constantly at me, but the need to be full of life, full of emotion, full of warmth and love.  I pulled the meager, blue, moth eaten blanket around me and waited for another worthless day to pass.

I had gotten to stone number 1,652, a large roundish stone pocketed with scratches from the prisoner before me, when a cloaked figure approached my cell.  His eyes searched my holding area, looking for me and finally stopped as they reached the shadowed corner where I sat.  "Come."  His voice was held a deep tone, smooth like oil, yet corrosive as acid.  I stayed where I was.  This man was not one that I recognized and definitely not a guard so there was no reason that I could think of to obey him.  "I told you to get over here.  Now."  There was no response for this command either for the same reason as figured out before.  He pulled out a wand from deep with in the folds of his robes, but before he could react another figure stepped forward.  "Crucio!"

I was already on the floor, but toppled over at the sound of the curse.  It missed me by less than a hair's breadth and hit the stone wall where it could not do any major damage since rocks cannot feel pain.

"Damn you!" the figure swore at me.  He added a few other choice words to the description as well that would have caused certain people to blush and flinch.  I sat passively watching from the floor, not bothered by the things that I was called.  I had put up with language like that for the entire time that I had been here and the times before.

The second man gestured into the hallway while the first glared menacing at me.  Two large men who owned more muscles than brains walked quickly into my cell.  They grabbed me roughly, each taking an arm and dragged me out to where the other two were waiting.  There was no way that I would be able to get out of this.  Four to one odds were not in my favor, especially if at least two of them had wands and I only had my fists and other limbs.  The two men set me up-right on my feet, but kept a tight hold.

"When I say come, you will come.  Understand?"

I looked up into the second man's pale eyes and spat directly up into his face.  He wiped away the spittle with the sleeve of his robe.  "Take her away!"

The two men stared blankly at each other.  "Where to, Boss?"

"You idiots!  Take her to Head Quarters!"

I was dragged half-stumbling down the hall and out into the bright sun that I had not seen for sixteen years.  My eyes filled with tears from the joy of seeing the sunlight, the sky, the sea, and the clouds and from the fact that my eyes were not used to light.  I blinked to clear them as I felt myself disappear into a black void.  Apparating, I decided, recognizing the void-like feeling.  I had done it many times in my past though I could not remember exactly what for.

We appeared in a corridor in front of a large pair of ornate wooden doors guarded by two figures dressed completely in black with helmets that concealed their faces and long hooked spears with forest tassels.  The spears were crossed in front of the door barring entrance to anyone that wished to pass inside.  The other two men that I had met at Azkaban appeared a few seconds later carrying between them three limp prisoners.  I recognized them from cells nearby even though I did not know their names.

Names, I thought for a moment.  I once had a name, I think.  I don't remember it now.  Too long have I been imprisoned and known only by a number or 'hey you!' or some other degrading phrase that my name is now only a past shadow of the life I had before.  That was another thing I would never see again; life.  I do not remember much of my life before Azkaban, save flashes of memories and faces.

The two men seemed to be in charge and walked right up to the door.  It slowly swung open, revealing an equally dark room and a carpet that matched the color of the tassels on the guard's spears.  The two henchmen dragged me down the aisle rather unceremoniously for such a grand looking court.  We stopped in front of a raised gilded dais.  The throne was gold with black highlights, probably onyx or obsidian, and worked with serpentine shapes.  On it was seated a figure dressed completely in black with a deep hood covering his face.  The men bowed low before the person on the throne.

"You shall submit yourself to the Dark Lord!  Bow down before him!" one of the people behind shouted in my ear.  I stayed standing.  The Dark Lord was dead.

Someone came up behind me and hit me hard through both my knees.  I crumpled to the floor in a heap.  I was too weak, but no, I wouldn't let weakness take over me.  From the ground I sprang back up, launching myself at the guard that had hit me.    He was armed with only a long spear, which would not be his for much longer, I decided.  I hit him as hard as I could with my fist, using surprise as my ally.  He seemed stunned for a moment as if not expecting anyone to do what I had just done to him, but he did not loosen his grip on the spear.  I kicked him straight in the stomach and he bent over with a grunt.  Now the spear was mine.  I twirled it around, testing the balance.  It reminded me of a quarter staff that I had long ago…

Two other cloaked people came up behind me.  Trusting my instincts, which were one of the few things that I could still trust, I spun around to face both of them.  I hit the first one in the throat with the sharp point.  The other was knocked on the temple with the blunt end.  He kept coming and ended up on the ground with a smashed elbow.  'Where had I learned to do this?' I wondered to myself, not remembering anything about learning to staff fight and continuing to take on anyone that would oppose me.   They wouldn't take me without a fight.

I disabled at least five others before someone had the right mind to call out "Stupefy!" and try to stun me.  I collapsed yet again on the floor in dodging it.  Four burly men grabbed me immediately and held me pinned to the ground.

The room's silence was broken by applause from the throne above me.  "Bravo.  You have succeeded in disabling seven of my men and killing three without the use of magic.  Well done.  You shall be a great asset to my cause.  Wormtail!  Which prisoner is this?"

The pale man standing to the side of the throne looked down a long list.  "Prisoner number 9162538, Master.  No name is given.  The only information given about her is a short description and that she was Silenced before the trial, Master.  She is not a Death Eater."

"Take her to the back with the others.  I still want her in my troops."

Yet again I was dragged away.  Whatever causes this man wanted me to fight for; I would not join his ranks.  If anything I would rather fight against him.  The holding pen that I was brought to was not a pen at all.  In fact there was a group of maybe twenty some fellow prisoners all in various stages of going insane and in general a miserable lot guarded by a group of six guards all carrying wands and spears.  I looked around surveying if there was a chance of escape.

I remembered a similar scene like this from my past.  There was no memory of what I had done or how I had survived the encounter that I could use to my advantage.  'Damn!' I swore to myself and then I saw the open door off to the side.

The door was small, unobtrusive, and unguarded.  Who knew where it would go, but anywhere had to be better than here.  Where ever it went it would be the perfect way to get out.  I moved slowly to the wall nearest to the door.  Leaning against the wall, I waited for the right time to smile upon me.  And smile it did.  All the Death Eaters, I guessed that was what these people were, turned to face the Dark Lord and saluted to him, in turn turning their backs on the prisoners.  I made a run for it.  Just as I reached the door, I heard someone scream, "Prisoner escaping!"

I ran through the door into a dark hallway.  I guess that they didn't like lights very much here.  I ran as fast I could, which was not very fast considering how long I had been imprisoned.  I could hear footfalls behind me.  I raced around the next corner to find brilliant illumination.  Sunlight, a window, an escape route.  I poked my head out.  It was only a few feet to the ground.  Looking behind me I jumped outside to safety and kept running.  The men were not far behind me.  I ran forward, not knowing where I was or where I was headed.  I turned against to glance behind me and felt my feet loose balance for a moment.  The only thing I could was step back.  Below me crashed the waves of the ocean and with them freedom.  The men were getting closer.  I looked back at the far drop to the water and leapt ungracefully over the cliff.

The water was deeper than I thought.  I landed hard and came back up for air.  To my left I heard another splash and saw the head of one of the Death Eaters bob up.  Stubborn gits, aren't they?  I swam, not getting far from my weakness.  I felt strong arms pulled near the rocks into a small cave.

"Listen to me.  You are dead; you have drowned.  Understood?" his speech was terse and short.

I looked at him with an expression of puzzlement mixed with resentment and his face softened for a moment.  He shook his head.  "I am going to help you."  He took a hold of one of my abused arms and disapparated.

We appeared sopping wet in the middle of a hallway.  "Stay here.  You'll be safe.  Get cleaned up.  You need it.  The bathroom is at the top of the stairs.  I will be back in a few minutes."  The man disappeared again.

I was alone.  I was free.  I was alive.  I lay down on the hardwood floor and cried softly for a few moments.  I didn't know whether to get up or stay where I was.  The man did suggest to clean myself up.  I pulled myself up and gazed at my surroundings.  It looked like a normal house from what I could tell.  I had not been inside a house since, I didn't remember when.  I went up the stairs.

The bathroom was where he had said it would be.  I entered and stared.  To my left was a mirror showing back a face that I did not recognize.  I realized it was me.  The eyes were sunken and filled with the feeling of horrors untold.  The hair that was once a sandy blond had been turned black and dull with grime and tangled into knots that could not be untied.  Cheek bones protruded from tight skin.  I shivered and turned away from my own image.

I quickly filled the tub with hot water.  I stepped inside and gasped at the heat.  Slowly, I slid down until I was immersed completely.  Using a brush and a bar of soap that I had found, I scrubbed off the layers of dirt and filth until my skin turned red.  My hair was another problem, but it was manageable and became once again its original color.  I sat in the tub until the water cooled and finally emerged.

The face in the mirror seemed less haunting.  The skin was a healthier pink.  The hair was its original blond color but was in desperate need of being cut.  The eyes…  The eyes still held the look that would live in my nightmares for weeks to come.

I opened up the medicine cabinet behind the mirror, finding a pair of scissors.  They were taken out and locks of my hair were chopped off into the garbage can.  With all the knots out, my hair became lighter and shorter.  I stopped cutting it around when it was short and loosely layered.  'Much better,' I decided to myself glancing at the mess sitting there.  I was not going to put on the rags that I had been wearing before, so they were promptly placed on top of my cut-off locks.  Clothes, I needed clothes.  I would not be good to be seen in the nude by a man I had not formally met.  Not that I cared.  I had a brief memory of being on stage in the spotlight acting and the voice from the past, maybe a friend, maybe an enemy whispering something about the stage knowing no modesty.  I wrapped a fluffy green towel around my clean skin and went out the door.  There were three doors in the corridor that might lead to something useful.

The first door was closed and locked unfortunately.  I probably could have gotten in if I really felt the need to break and enter.  The second door led to a bedroom done completely in black, green, and sliver.  It was an impressive sight to behold.  The floors were hardwood with a few tastefully placed throw rugs in forest green patterns.  A huge four posted bed sat in the middle of the room with a presence to be noticed.  A matching armoire and nightstand stood nearby.  I decided to try the next room to see if that would bring me anything else.

The third door opened to a seldom used room decorated in shades of pale yellow and green, like springtime.  It was light and airy in comparison to the room next door.  Two old trunks stood off to one side almost begging me to open them, so I did.  I rummaged through the first one finding old robes that would have been too huge to fit me even slightly.  It was closed and the other opened.  The second trunk was more what I was looking for.  It held Muggle clothing, which I decided would be better than over sized robes.  I found a pair of baggy khakis that seemed to be the right length but a bit large in the waist.  They were pulled on over a pair of plaid boxers that were also in the trunk along with a fire engine red cropped top that had a silver star in the center of it.

I looked at myself in the mirror that was hanging on the wall.  'Wow,' I sighed to myself.  The figure staring back me seemed at least a few years younger that she had been when I first saw the reflection.  The first word that came to my mind was skater.  I looked like a Muggle skater chick.  I laughed lightly to myself.

I sighed, not knowing what to do and wanting to do everything at once.  Exploring seemed to be the first thought that passed through my mind.  I had found all the doors on the second floor and what were behind them (except for the locked one).  Downstairs was the next option so there I went.  I had been in the entrance hall when we first appeared here.  There was the choice of either right of left.  Left brought me into the kitchen.  I would get food later.  I had done without it before.  I kept going, searching quietly.  From the kitchen, I came to the dining room.  Off to one side of the dining room was a door that led to a small study with a neatly organized desk.  The doorway on the other side led me to the living room.  The living was huge to say the least with a high, vaulted ceiling.  It had the normal amounts of furniture, including a grand piano.  I approached the piano softly and stroked my hand across the smooth keys without a sound.  Looking around to see if anyone was there, I sat down at the instrument.

My fingers touched the keys with light caresses.  The only major thing that I had remembered about my life before was that I had learned to play the piano.  It had been something that I had started learning when I was just a young girl.  I brushed against one of the keys harder than I had before.  An E-flat rang through the room like a bell.  I jumped from where I sat, looking around the room.  No one was there.  I was safe for now.

I sat down once again at the keys, humming softly through my head a melody that I had sang when my voice still existed.  I hit the first notes, tentatively remembering which keys to play and what order they were to be hit in.  The lyrics echoed as memories of the past.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows

And what's on the other side?

Rainbows are visions but only illusions

And rainbows have nothing to hide.

So we've been told and some choose to believe it;

I know they're wrong; wait and see

Someday we'll find it

The Rainbow Connection;

The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Who said that ev'ry wish would be heard and answered

When wished on the morning star?

Somebody thought of that,

And someone believed it;

Look what it's done so far.

What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing?

And what do we think we might see?

Someday we'll find it

The Rainbow Connection

The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

All of us under its spell;

We know that it's probably magic.

Have you been half asleep?

Or have you heard voices?

I hear them calling my name.

Is this the sweet song that calls the young sailors?

The voice might be one and the same.

I've heard it too many times to ignore it.

It's something I'm s'pposed to be.

Someday we'll find it

The Rainbow Connection

The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

La da da de, da da do, la la da da da de da do.

I finished the last chord triumphantly hitting a low G.  I heard foot steps in the corridor outside the room.  The master of the house must be home.  I leapt off the piano bench to wait for him to come.

{Another Author's Note/ Disclaimer:  The song is called The Rainbow Connection.  It is by Paul Williams and Kenneth L. Ascher and was used in The Muppet Movie.  I believe the scene dealt with Kermit the Frog playing a banjo in a swamp.  The Chateau d'If is the prison from The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexander Dumas, which is a very good book and movie by the way.  I do not own the song, or the book, or the movie.  I think that's about it.  Read and review this.  It will get better I hope.  Read my other stories while you're at it.  ("Harry Potter and the Beasts of Shadow" and "Chaos Tie-Dyed and Loving It!"  The first one is finished for now; the second one is a work in progress, like this one.)  Thanks for whatever and May The Force Be With You, Nataly Ravenlock}