Disclaimer: Rexy and I do not own the Harry Potter books, movies, or any of the characters (not even Wood*sigh*). That honor belongs to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. We are just borrowing their characters to use in our twisted little story.

Warning: This is the brainchild of insanity. Please proceed with caution, and watch out for the evil penguins. Also, whatever you do, DON'T GO INTO THE LIGHT!

A Little Note from the Authors: I am Princess Katie (Katie) and my partner in crime is Sexy Rexy (Samantha). Each writer's work will be noted duly. Also, much of the beginning will be written by Princess Katie, just because, dammit. This story answers the question, "What happens when Harry Potter and the gang meet Rexy and Princess Katie and their wonderful friends?" It's an insane story that only has some plot to it because the Princess insisted. And because the authors want it to be so, this occurs in the fourth year, and Oliver Wood is still in school. Rexy and Princess Katie are starting eighth grade again, pity us. Voldemort rose again over the summer, not during the year. Deal with it. And review the story, dammit.

The Foreword, by Princess Katie

"What?!"

"You've got to be kidding!"

"You can't mean that! Right, Professor?" Dumbledore looked down upon the students in front of him. They all were staring at him with unpleasant disbelief - except for Fred and George, who were reveling in their good fortune.

"America? Brilliant!"

"Hell yes! All those good-looking girls!"

Dumbledore winked at them, and then turned to the other students. "You must understand that this is necessary. With Voldemort on the loose, you all must go into hiding. Where better than as ordinary Muggles in America?"

The poor souls that were being forced to go to America numbered seven: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Fred, George, and Oliver Wood.

"Well, if this is true," Ron commented, "Then why the hell is Oliver going?"

Dumbledore started to reply, "Because the authors wanted it that way," but halfway through he changed it, saying, "Because his mother wanted him to get away from Quidditch for a year. He's become obsessed." Oliver immediately protested, but Dumbledore hushed them. (A/N: Of course, the only reason Oliver is coming with is because the authors want him here.)

"But-" Harry said weakly, trying to protest.

Hermione was equally upset. "I don't know how to be a proper Muggle. What if I'm not as good in regular school as I was in wizard school?" She was quickly told to shut up by Ron. Dumbledore frowned at them all and they stopped their meaningless babble.

"This is final. No more arguing." So on August 16th, the poor wizards boarded a plane to Chicago, Illinois, United States of America.

Little did they know what they were getting themselves into.

~*~

(A/N: This was as boring as all hell, sorry 'bout that. I needed to start somewhere. Next chapter, the madness begins.)