Author's Notes: This got written despite the fact that I am nearly unconscious, because it planned itself out while I was working today. I love it when my muse takes initiative. *snuggles him*

*ahem* But, anyway. This chapter contains *threatening music* my first attempt at looking inside Tsuzuki's head. Tell me if it sucks too bad, ne?

Warnings: Yaoi. Watari's weird potions. Uhm, possible angst in later chapters.

Enjoy!

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Outside Looking In
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Chapter 2
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The break room was empty-- which was not, in itself, something that surprised Hisoka terribly. After all, Tatsumi was wont to patrol the area at intervals, to make certain that everyone was occupied with something productive.

Even so, the boy was mildly astonished to discover that most of the box of pastries was intact, several of the blueberry-filled ones untouched. It probably, he reflected wryly to himself, had a good deal to do with the fact that Watari had been locked in his lab the whole day and Tsuzuki hadn't yet had his pick.

Frowning thoughtfully, Hisoka pulled two of the sticky sweets from the bottom of the box, biting into one as he moved to find a napkin for the other. There were several beside the coffee machine, and a moment later had the pastry safely wrapped and settled in his coat pocket.

Taking another bite of his own pastry, which he'd discovered to be strawberry, the young shinigami wondered what had prompted the change from the usual semi-stale donuts. It was a welcome one, certainly, but he didn't think that the department's secretary would agree when the sweets got charged to the budget...

Half-turned toward the door, Hisoka paused to regard the box one more time. They were awfully good. And presumably, Tsuzuki was working diligently on this week's paperwork. Presumably.

Shaking his head, the boy gingerly fished another of the blueberry pastries from the box, wrapping it and placing it beside the first. Thoughts on his partner and mouth full of strawberry, the young shinigami turned toward the door. And would have yelped in surprise, had his mouth not been full of pastry.

"Kurosaki-kun," Tatsumi greeted with a nod, utterly calm He was standing no more than a foot from the boy, the cup in his hand proclaiming him midway to the coffee machine. But that wasn't what had startled Hisoka so badly.

He hadn't known the man was there until he'd turned around. The secretary had been in the room, had been physically close enough that he should have felt a presence... but even the vague sense of emotion that he could feel through Tatsumi's walls was missing. Gone.

Huge green eyes widened with sudden realization.

"Good morning, Tatsumi-san," Hisoka replied, tone deceptively neutral.

"Indeed." The secretary fixed him with a smooth, appraising glance. Then his eyes trailed to the box of pastries on the counter nearby. One eyebrow climbed slightly higher. "Pastries?"

"Mm," the young shinigami agreed, vaguely noncommittal. Moving around the older man, Hisoka made towards the door. "Well. Tsuzuki hasn't been filling out his files, so..."

"I see." Calm blue eyes watched the retreating form. "Don't let me stop you."

Only the pace of the boy's steps belied his excitement as he hurried from the room to tell Watari that his potion had been a success.

* * *

Paperwork, Tsuzuki was beginning to be certain, was a way for the gods to prove their superiority. Yes, shinigami were immortal. Yes, they healed. Yes, they got cherry blossoms year round. But form after form, space after space, line after line... it was enough to drive a man crazy.

And he was hungry. What was taking Hisoka so long? The break room wasn't terribly far away. Maybe the boy wouldn't mind if he left to see what the matter was...

Tsuzuki paused, considered. Frowned. That, he decided, was most definitely a bad idea. His partner could get awfully scary when he didn't do his share of the paperwork-- which he supposed made sense, since it was so much trouble to begin with.

Words scrawled across the page, large and mostly illegible. Tsuzuki chewed on the end of his pen, considering what he'd written without really paying attention to it. His stomach was digesting itself, he was sure. Where -was- that boy?

Excitement.

Startled violet eyes widened slightly, peering about with curiosity.

Excitement. Pride. Finished!

Half-rising from the chair, Tsuzuki turned just in time to see Watari open the door, beaming. A full beaker brimmed between his hands, and his lab coat bore the signs of a recent explosion.

"Guess what, bon?" the scientist enthused. "I think I found out why the first one didn't--" The words cut off mid-sentence as he realized that the boy in question wasn't in the room. "Oi, Tsuzuki. Where's bon?"

"Getting pastries," the older shinigami announced, the oddity of his friend's arrival overshadowed by the topic he'd previously been lamenting. "And taking his time about it."

"Pastries?" Hope. "Think there's any left?" Resting the beaker on the desk, Watari settled himself beside it. A very singed 003 peered irritably from his shoulder.

"There should be," Tsuzuki told him seriously. "It would be rude for someone to have taken them all when we haven't had any." He nodded twice, to emphasize his point.

"Right!" the blonde was quick to agree. "Let's go!" And with a wave of determination, he was heading abruptly for the door.

"But Hisoka's supposed to be bringing--" Tsuzuki began, at exactly the same moment that Watari's startled cry of "Bon!" echoed from the doorway.

"It worked." The tone was calm, but... Rising cheer. Excitement. "I couldn't feel Tatsumi, and I can't feel either of you."

"You're kidding!" The taller blonde ushered the young shinigami into the room, even as the boy's partner stood to join them.

"Really?" But Tsuzuki knew. "The sugar didn't change it?"

"I don't think so." Relief. Satisfaction. "I don't feel anything."

"Nothing at all?" The scientist sat Hisoka down on the desk, expression thoughtful. He tapped his chin with one long finger. "What about with touch? Have you tried?"

"No, not yet," the boy admitted. A frightened, hesitant hope was starting to bloom. "Do you think it will work then, too?"

"Only one way to see." With the flash of a smile and a shrug, Watari had seized the boy's hand and pressed it firmly to that of his partner's.

Tsuzuki's mouth opened in a silent gasp, violet eyes widening with his shock.

Like a rush of cold water, the emotions hit him full in the proverbial face. Anticipation. Excitement. Hope, but he wasn't really sure that he wanted that to be there, because it usually didn't last very long, and it wasn't safe to let it stay. Uncertainty, because he'd never been able to spend time with more than a few people at once before, and now--

The emotion was cut off halfway, overridden by a rush of others that came up to replace them. Concern, sudden and sharp. What was the matter? Worry, unbidden, a little unwelcome. Was that for him? Fear. He thought it might have been, but the room was so far away, and getting dark with startling speed.

Seconds later, Tsuzuki hit the office floor in a dead faint.

~end part two~