Author's Notes: The last part. Finally.

I would love to know what everyone thinks of a.) the story length b.) the plot c.) the last conversation and d.) the ending. Or any one of the above mentioned. ^_^

Thank you all for reading and reviewing; like I said before, this has gone far beyond anything I've written, in number of reviewss. Thanks so much for sticking with me-- I hope the end meets up to everyone's expectations. ^^

Warnings? Possible OOC. Yaoi. Sap. Sap. More sap. Lots of it-- run!

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Outside Looking In
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Chapter 9
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Half-open green eyes watched the shadows on the ceiling, stared unseeing at the dark stretches that shifted with the subtle changes of the night.

It didn't matter that sleep had yet to come; the boy was in a comfortable state of semi-consciousness, dreamless but resting. And if his eyelids were gradually beginning to slip closed for longer and longer amounts of time, then the young shinigami consoled himself that it was only because dawn was creeping nearer.

It was a battle that Hisoka fought every night, alone in his room-- but tonight there was one more reason not to let himself fall into nightmares.

Tsuzuki. For some reason, the name wouldn't leave his mind; even on the edge of sleep, it haunted his thoughts, relentless.

He could have reached out and touched the older man, had he so desired. Could have extended his empathy, and taken comfort from the fact that he was so near; could have shared in the dead sleep that too much alcohol always brought to his partner.

But the man had seen too much already. He knew the depths of their hatred, understood how completely Muraki had ruined him. And yet... somehow, nothing had changed.

Hisoka wasn't entirely sure why, but the force of that thought brought a strange, burning sensation to the corners of his eyes. Which was stupid, really. Why should it bother him that--

A dull throb of pain invaded his thoughts, not an abrupt sensation, but one that had been nagging at the edge of his consciousness, only now realized. And a moment later, warm arms slid around him, a rumpled head pressing itself against his back.

Green eyes flying wide, Hisoka half-twisted in the loose grasp, turning to stare into a half-lidded violet gaze and a sleepy grin.

"Tsu-Tsuzuki, you idiot," the boy yelped. "What are you -doing-?"

"Going back to sleep," his partner mumbled, tightening the hold and snuggling the rest of the way under the covers.

Attempting to pry insistent arms out from around him, the young shinigami squirmed under the covers. "You're drunk," he declared angrily, fixing Tsuzuki with the most withering glare he could muster. It was not encouraging to note that the man had already closed his eyes.

"Am not," came the quiet response, muffled by the fact that the speaker's mouth was pressed into the warm folds of his partner's pajamas. "Just sleepy."

"What's wrong with the couch?" Hisoka demanded, struggling again to free himself from the hold of his partner's arms. "You said before--"

A single violet eye opened to watch him imploringly. "Quieter?" the man suggested, hopeful.

The plea for silence clicked into place along with the dull pain. "Not drunk, then," the boy snapped. "Hung over." Viciously, he raised the volume of his voice, leaning closer to ask the next question directly in his partner's ear. "But what the hell do you think you're doing?"

Tsuzuki cringed obligingly in response. "Hisokaa, don't be so mean." An irresistibly pleading set of violet eyes crept upward to accuse the boy. "The couch was cold-- you don't have any blankets downstairs.

The young shinigami thought for a moment, raking his memory in an attempt to prove his partner wrong. "Oh," he managed instead, when he realized that it was true.

Seemingly assured that the boy wouldn't try to free himself anytime soon, Tsuzuki sighed happily, pulling him in closer.

For a long moment, Hisoka lay unmoving, staring down at the mop of chocolate brown hair that lay comfortably against his chest. Now was the time, the young shinigami told himself, where he ought to make it clear to his partner that carrying blankets down a flight of stairs takes very little effort. That said effort would be infinitely preferable to having a hung-over idiot clutching him like a teddy bear under the covers.

But... the arms wrapped loosely around his torso were warm, and the feeling of Tsuzuki's steady breathing was comforting. Contentment and drowsy affection were thick and enfolding, almost drowning out the soft throb of the man's headache.

It was strange, the boy reflected as he relaxed into his partner's embrace; usually the older shinigami slept for half of the following day after he'd been drinking, and the hangover was enough to keep the empath safely out of range for several hours when he awoke. Stranger still, Hisoka realized as he searched the night's memories, was the fact that he couldn't recall the man drinking anything after the game of Truth or Dare had come to a close.

A suspicious little frown beginning to form on his face, Hisoka turned a questioning gaze toward the man still clinging to him loosely-- only to start in surprise when he found a pair of violet eyes turned up toward him, expectant and waiting.

What?" the boy demanded, uncomfortably aware of the closeness of his partner's body. To counteract the flush burning its way across his face, Hisoka fixed the man with a level glare. "I thought you wanted to sleep."

Tsuzuki stared up at him with wide, guileless eyes. "Not tired anymore."

Abruptly, the young shinigami took to thrashing in his partner's grip once more. "Idiot!" he declared, face a startling shade of crimson. "Then what the hell are you
doing--"

It was the tone that sliced neatly through the violent actions, left him panting but still against the older man's chest. Because rather abruptly, Tsuzuki sounded very serious, and very sober.

"Being with you." Gentle fingers reached upward to stroke Hisoka's cheek, a caress that sent tendrils of love and caring shivering through his entire body. And somehow, when the violet-eyed shinigami bent his head to press a kiss to the boy's lips, it didn't come as a surprise.

It was sweeter than the empath had ever known a touch could be. Always before, there had been the intent to hurt, a lingering disgust that clawed its way through him. But joy was burning, deep and bright, and contentment was a warmth that he couldn't bring himself to push away.

And throughout it all... the same love that glowed in a pair of kind violet eyes.
The sensations, Hisoka was horrified to discover, were too much to bear; when a soft hand reached to touch his face once more, the fingers came away wet with tears.

"Last night, I came here because I didn't know what to do," Tsuzuki whispered, tone low and trembling. "Watari said that I might have problems with the potion, but I didn't expect... I didn't expect..." The older shinigami took a breath, tipped his partner's chin upward so that a pair of green eyes could see the sincerity in his expression. "I couldn't tell what was me anymore," he admitted quietly. "But then I thought that, if I was here, then it wouldn't matter. Because I could feel you, instead."

"...idiot," Hisoka admonished softly. Tears still stood, firmly ignored, in wide, emerald eyes. "That doesn't make any sense at all."

But the older shinigami was not to be deterred; disregarding the interruption, he pushed onward, seemingly desperate to finish the confession. "And then I realized it," the man acknowledged, tone unusually subdued. "You never come to see me, and you never ask anyone to keep you company. Every night, you're here by yourself. Like I was." A pair of wounded violet eyes fixed the boy with a pathetically insistent gaze. "But... you don't want to be. You dreamt it, and you wanted someone to--"

"Don't," the young shinigami begged. "It isn't important. It was just a dream, and--"

"No." Carefully, Tsuzuki reached a hand to brush a strand of hair from his partner's face, unconsciously mirroring the motion that had pulled him into the boy's dream. "It wasn't just a dream. It's what you want." With a tender smile, the man leaned down to press a kiss into rumpled blonde locks. "And so I'm going to stay here, and be with you."

The silence that followed was anything but empty. Hisoka's thoughts tumbled together, fighting to make sense of what his partner was offering-- and though his mind was insisting that he had to be wrong, that it couldn't be what he was hoping for, Tsuzuki's feelings were flooding in, all warmth and comfort and love.

In the end, it wasn't much of a decision. The boy had gone so long, with so little, that he couldn't help but reach for everything he'd been denied in life.

Tentatively, Hisoka tightened his hold, pressing himself against his partner's warmth as he sought the man's lips. The kiss was warm and gentle, deeper than before and more desperate; in a way, it was everything that the boy couldn't find the strength to put into words. And when Tsuzuki pulled him closer, reaching one hand up to stroke through his hair, the young shinigami knew that he didn't have to explain.

They broke apart too quickly, leaving the room full of early morning silence and quiet gasps. It was a spell of sorts; neither shinigami spoke, and neither needed to. In the darkness of the room, the shadowed depths of their eyes said all that needed saying.

But a question was building in the boy's mind, looming unclear and unanswerable, and only one person could tell him what he needed to know.

"I..." Hisoka began, only to subside when the word choked in his throat. "We..." And that made it even worse; for some reason, the idea of the two of them together brought a burning sensation to his eyes. "We... What... do we do, now?"

"Sleep." A very puppyish grin met him from under a ruffled mop of chocolate hair. "Party decorations tomorrow morning-- remember?

A pair of wide green eyes blinked, startled. The night and its adventures seemed ages away. "Oh. Right."

"And tomorrow night," Tsuzuki told the boy contently, snuggling closer, "We can pick up where we left off. Or the night after that. Or after that." Once more, the words were muffled by several layers of covers, and the folds of Hisoka's pajamas. "Cause I'm not leaving you alone anymore."

The seconds crept slowly by as wide green eyes stared down, disbelief and pleasure warring in their depths. And then, very slowly, the boy relaxed into Tsuzuki's hold. "Don't be stupid," he told his partner, affectionately.

And then, warm and comfortable, Hisoka settled down to sleep.

~owari~